Chapter 1111: 1111 1111 Wouldn’t Have It Any Other Way



Kat ended up leaving the forms with Kamiko, who promised to post them later, because apparently demons did still use post occasionally. It was a day later, Lily had been dropped off at her parents, Sylvie was at school, and Callisto was somewhere else. So it was just Vivian and Kat around for lunch. Vivian didn't exactly feel like spending the time to make anything proper, so she was quickly slapping together a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. When Vivian sat down to eat, Kat said, "You look like you'd prefer to be eating anything else," 

"Well you look like you want to have a proper discussion about something, but considering you stayed in bed, then ducked off to Lily's, and when you finally ask me something you instead comment about my poor skills in the kitchen, I'm going to guess it's nothing," said Vivian with a smirk. 

Kat let out a groan and said, "Ok, maybe I do… but now I feel sort of invested in this sandwich thing. We can get to my problems later, why do you look so unhappy with your sandwich?"

"I don't actually like peanut butter much," answered Vivian. 

"What?" asked Kat involuntary, as her mind skipped a beat. 

"I don't like peanut butter. I mean, it's perfectly edible, but it's not something I particularly enjoy, not compared to other things I prefer," said Vivian. 

"Why would you make them for yourself then?" asked Kat confused, "I mean… we have a whole kitchen full of food. I saw that the vegetable and fruit dishes were basically full when you got jam out of the fridge! Why do this to yourself?" 

"I mean… it IS edible, I don't hate it, and it's very easy," answered Vivian. 

"I didn't expect you to be so lazy," said Kat. 

Vivian shrugged, "I just find it hard to get motivated when it comes to cooking. Callisto is so much better then I am at it that even if I took an hour prepping something nice I'd still fall short. Might as well just make something easy and edible so that I can stave off my hunger till dinner time and eat a good portion then," 

"That doesn't sound like a great habit to get into… what are you going to do if one day Callisto actually moves out or something?" asked Kat. 

Vivian shrugged, "I dunno, curse her I guess? She's ruined 'normal' food for me at this point so there's really nothing I can do about it. Well, I suppose I could try to dedicate a large amount of time to learning to cook, but I don't really want to do that,"

Kat sucked in a deep breath and let the answer hand. "I suppose that sort of links up with what I wanted to talk to you about. It's connected at least… see… I had to fill in some forms on the demon side of things and one of the questions was putting down you as my adoptive mother… but I didn't add Callisto to the other half of things, so I guess… are you and Callisto together?

"I mean, I get that you've never introduced her that way, and Callisto has been very clear that you're her best friend and that she enjoys acting as a maid… but I mean… that could've been just for Sylvie's benefit. Even if she is scarily perceptive, you might have wanted to keep something quiet… but I've never seen you guys kiss, or even get too touchy feely… but at the same time it seems like neither of you plan to ever leave each other's company, or like… date, so I guess I wonder. Which, well, this wasn't my original question but it's the one I'm asking now… so… yeah…" 

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Vivian finished off the half of the sandwich she was working on, then took a large drink of water from the glass beside her. Kat let Vivian take as much time as she needed, but eventually Vivian did answer the question, "I can't say I really know Kat. Callisto is certainly devoted to me, but I don't know if it's love, or at least, I cannot say if it's romantic love or not. I am sure you know she had a rough childhood, and I know she's not fond of her parents. They were both married, and perhaps that gives Callisto some sustain for love, romance and marriage… but perhaps not. 

"As for me? I can't really say I know where I stand on the issue either. Callisto is important to me, and I can't say that I mind the idea of living with her for the rest of my life… but is it love? Eh… that's complicated. I find people beautiful, I find the world beautiful. I've laughed and cried over cartoon characters, actors in movies, and perhaps growing up I had a crush or two on a few teachers… 

"But I'm not sure I've ever had any romantic intentions towards any of my peers," Vivian sighed and turned to face Kat properly. "So if you ask me if I am in love with Callisto, the same way Lily loves you… I would have to say know, just from what I've observed of her. I cannot say I love Callisto the way you love Lily either. I am capable of sexual attraction… I think, but do I feel it towards Callisto? 

"I don't know. I have known Callisto for a long time Kat. She has become part of my life, and I'd do anything for anything for her… but is it a sisterly love? Romantic? Friendly? I do not know, and I don't think I care to find out. You have not really seen it, but Callisto likes things to be easy to understand. She keeps things simple, she sticks to a routine, even if that routine can stretch out over months. 

"I doubt you would notice, what with your leaving on Contracts so often, but Callisto has a rotation of meals that she cooks, in the same order, every time. Sure she takes weeks off, or has practice weeks, but she has a months' long cycle that is mostly unchanged cycle to cycle, year to year. She cleans the house in the same order every time, and the kitchen every day. You didn't see how Callisto acted when I told her I was adopting two girls. It was… something…" 

Vivian sighed and took another sip from her water, "There was one time, when we were both much younger. I kissed Callisto you know? Just on the cheek. She was being adorable, and I wanted to do it. She completely broke down. Bawled like a toddler, hugged me for a few hours… and then avoided me like the plague for three months," 

Kat pursed her lips, stunned into silence. That didn't really sound like the Callisto she knew… and three months was quite a long time. "What… what happened after those three months?" asked Kat. 

"I got fed up, confronted her, and told her that if she kept avoiding me I'd pin her to the wall and kiss her for a few hours if she kept trying to run away. I don't know how I feel about the fact she never tried to run after that… nor do I know what to think that clearly wanted nothing to do with my 'threat'. Was it just too much to soon? Does she really have no interest in me at all? Does she prefer playing at the role of servant? Probably not because this was back when we were still in school," said Vivian. 

"Well… shit. So… are you what… waiting for her to make a move on you?" asked Kat. 

"I don't know Kat. I'm not sure I WANT her to make a move. That hurt teenage me quite a lot. Not just the avoidance, but the response afterwards. I mean… it wasn't the best thing to threaten her with… but it's not like I could contemplate really hurting her… so I just said the first thing that came to mind. Which… well I was a teenager, I was probably horny or something," mumbled Vivian. 

"I feel like… as an adult with life experience and whatnot… you would have a better idea of your own feelings then me," said Kat. 

Vivian just shrugged and took a bite out of her sandwich, grimacing at the taste before taking another bite. Kat glared at Vivian, who was still sitting side on and looking back at Kat. She didn't seem to be hiding, in fact Vivian clearly accepted this part of herself, and she didn't mind speaking on it… but answers were not forthcoming. "I don't really know what to suggest," said Kat eventually. 

"I don't know either. I've read plenty of stories where two romantic partners sit in a sort of awkward limbo, both too scared to move forward. Perhaps there is some element of that in my choice to remain as we are… but at the same time, I'm not sure how much I'd care for anything else. In many ways, my relationship with Callisto is perfect already. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Certainly not for a few kisses, even if they are from Callisto," 

Kat sighed, "Look, as someone who's asexual I guess I can't criticise… but that doesn't seem like a great idea," 

Vivian shrugged, "I'm happy with my life. I love my job, my home is full of smiles, and what I have with Callisto is special, even if it's not romance. Yet, who's to say that it isn't our romance?"

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