Chapter 612: 612: Finding Confidence

Lily forcefully tried to push down her growing unease. *Dammit, I agreed to this. I can't stop it even if I want to and I DO NOT. This is the chance of a lifetime. I will not let my discomfort over the fact that I don't like any of the options for my old body stop me from achieving two of my dreams. I don't even know which one I'd say is more important now, ok that's a lie, I'd say the magic because I could die happy just staying with Kat for a hundred years or so, BUT it's close. The pure desire for both of those eclipses any discomfort I have.* 

"I apologise for not being able to help you with this Lily," said Nira with a morose smile. Lily could only react with confusion and this showed on her face which prompted Nira to continue, "I'm apologising because it's supposed to by my job to reassure you that everything will be fine or in the worst case scenario convince you it's ok to back out.

"However… I can't really do either of those things right now. You cannot back out and would have to pay the full price to go back to your old body if it sticks around and doesn't get burnt. I also haven't ever really been in this position before. I've seen plenty of people dealt bad hands or been ignorant of the full scope of a surgery… but they could always back out if it was too much for them.

"Furthermore, I understand why this is a series concern for you. I can tell this is a shock and I suppose having been exposed to magic for such a short amount of time didn't really help matters. You don't have a good idea of what we can and can't change or how that affects other things. For example, healing. Healing is easy for some people, myself included. I could practically grow your whole body back from just a bit of skin, the issue is keeping your soul inside it.

"On the other hand… upgrading things is much harder. I don't know the details of the process but your soul will essentially be split over two bodies as we carefully grow you a knew one so that it can adapt to your soul, and your soul can adapt to that body without simply being pulled away into the afterlife." Explained Nira who was certainly starting to ramble at this point.

*Woah. I didn't realise that she feels so strongly about this. I mean… I guess it is a bit of a big deal in some ways. Maybe this is bothering her more than me.* Lily was surprised to note a lot of her trepidation had actually disappeared with this revelation, making it even more likely to be true as her worries seemed to drain away. There was a small voice niggling in the back of her mind, but it was easy to ignore now. Lily decided it was perhaps Nira that needed a distraction. "What about clones?"

"You'll have to be more specific Lily. There are a number of different things that can be considered cloning. In some ways we are cloning you for this procedure," said Nira.

"Well… could someone make a copy of me with cloning or just use my body?" asked Lily.

"Not with your memories. Some of them are stored in the brain, and it would keep a little bit of an imprint but it wouldn't really last through the process of growing up again. Clones that aren't given time to age go crazy, especially if they keep those brain pathways. The other issue is even if you do manage to grow the clone and don't make them crazy they have no memories so you'd have a child in an adults body…

"With your body though… the only way to get it to work would be to summon your soul back into it. Which IS possible, though certainly unpleasant. You'd also probably not come back entirely alive if somebody did that. Still, compared to the other things they could do, it really isn't a big concern," explained Nira.

"Why do clones go insane sometimes and how come you can get them to work but only if they have no memories?" asked Lily, not overly interested in the answer but wanting to make it harder for Nira to realise she was being placated. Nira noticed of course. She had much better senses, more life experience, and specialised in calming people down.

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She didn't say anything about that though, instead she said, "Well it's actually a matter of the soul. The reason zombies go around killing things mindlessly is because they don't have a soul or only have small fragments of one. When you grow a clone properly it attracts a soul, if you don't well… it goes very crazy. Some people try to use cloning to keep themselves around, just like… keep a spare body around and summon their soul back to it when their body dies… it doesn't tend to work out well."

"Thanks for that explanation," said Lily taking a deep breath after she said the words, steeling herself one final time. "I'm ready."

Nira glanced at Lily and debated over whether that was true enough or not. Ultimately, Nira was willing to go along with it. Were there the option to back out, she might have tried to settle Lily down a bit more before moving onto the final steps but without that option, pushing forward while she was confident enough that things would be ok, that she thought it was worth it and was happy with her choice. It was enough for Nira.

So she carefully reached into her coat pocket and took out a brooch. It was a gaudy thing adorned with enough precious gemstones to bankrupt a medium sized country. The only reason it wouldn't be worth more, on Earth would be lack of knowledge about how rare it actually was. The whole thing was less a 'brooch' and much closer to a tiny shield. The whole thing was about the size of one of Lily's breasts.

It looked a lot like a tiny kite shield as well. The whole 'back' of it was a solid goldish alloy that was glowing slightly giving the whole thing a soft angelic appearance despite being handed to her by a devil. On the front, most of the available space was taken up by a red gem that was slightly darker then you'd expect from a ruby. It wasn't murky though, it almost seemed to absorb the light from nearby, it was clear otherwise though. It matched the shape of the shield exactly, leaving just a bit of space around the edges.

On those edges was a mix of gems, alternating between green and blue, but never the exact same shade of either. These gemstones ringed the edges using stones approximately the size of a fingernail, with the three in the corners, two blue at the top and one green at the bottom, about three time the size of the others and hanging slightly off the shield.

*How is this a brooch! It's nearly the size of my head! How will it even stay on my shirt? That thing looks like it ways a good few kilograms. Heck, forget the shirt, how am I supposed to lift the damned thing? Actually will it even fit on my shirt? It'd be really awkward if its hanging across my chest… and it's a little big to fit below that… where the heck do I put it?* "Um Nira… how? Just… how? I mean… how would that not tear my clothes? How can I lift it? Where do we put it?" asked Lily

Nira smiled, flashing a full set of pearly white teeth with slightly elongated canines and carefully pushed the 'brooch' towards Lily. As it got closer it shrank slightly as Nira moved it over to the side and pressed it against her shoulder instead. It was still quite large, but it had reduced its size by about a third and when Nira let go, Lily didn't feel the weight at all.

Lily waved her arm up and down and found the brooch sticking firmly to the sleeve. In fact, on closer inspection she noticed that it didn't shift the fabric or bunch up at all. Moving her other arm a few times to confirm, it was clear to Lily that her outfit was acting as if the brooch didn't exist at all. "Weird…" whispered Lily as she observed the brooch, her first real example of magic, and more specifically magical items.

Up until this point all the magic she had seen was from Kat, which, while cool, were limited things. They were all abilities that were clearly unique to Kat, or at most unique to the demon race. This was a magical item that, while perhaps not anyone, some people would be capable of making. Sure based on the clarity and appearance of the gemstones it had been exceptionally costly to make, but it was a thing. A real magical item and she was using it.

That was when the final vestiges of her concern fell away. This was magic. The world HAD magic. And soon, so would she. Lily turned to face Nira, eyes burning with passion and confidence. "I'm ready!"

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