Desperate Pretense At Being Poor
Chapter 34 – Look Forward
While Fu Zhihuan was in university, he took the initiative to visit a highly respected psychologist for counseling.
During that time, Jin Chenhe got married with the help of his family and his wife became pregnant. He also got a job through his family’s connections and his life seemed to be on track.
Fu Zhihuan could not investigate someone just based on his inference since it was not considered evidence. Even though Fu Zhihuan was clear about this but from Jin Chenhe’s psychological quality, most probably he was not the murderer but someone who had inside information.
After more than twenty years of investigation that did not bear fruit, the Fu Family learned to forget and gradually gave up to start a new life.
There were no eyewitnesses and no relevant clues. As the years passed, the information that could be found became less and less.
‘The dead can’t be resurrected. The living must learn to look forward.’
Almost everyone gave him this advice.
“Fu Mingheng, you won’t be able to understand. That time, if I had held onto Xiao Qing’s hand and stayed beside her, she wouldn’t have gotten lost and wouldn’t be killed.”
Fu Zhihuan lowered his eyes and murmured.
“At that time, I just had to reach out my hand…….”
Forgiving others is definitely must easier than forgiving oneself.
Therefore, he could not turn a blind eye to the easily obtainable truth.
So he found a highly respected psychiatrist.
“So you’re worried that you will use extreme methods to set up a private court*?”
(Setting up a private court means handling or settling a problem by illegal means.)
The old psychiatrist asked calmly.
“Everyone would think of avenging their loved ones. But Fu Lu, from the moment you took the initiative to look for me and apply for treatment, it was obvious that you wouldn’t violate the bottom line of the law.”
“It’s just that you don’t love yourself enough.”
Misanthropy.
(Misanthropy is the feeling of hatred, dislike, and distrust of humans.)
It was not known when this feeling started.
Fu Zhihuan would not choose extreme methods to get justice because he understands that no one can set up a private court.
Law does not exist solely for any particular person. It is set up to maintain social order and is rational justice.
Fu Zhihuan just hated himself for being powerless and will live his life in guilt every day from then on.
“Father and Mother have arranged a fiancée for you. Her name is Wen Ruan and she is a very lovable girl.” Fu Mingheng said.
“You will know when you meet her. Father and Mother feel that she can make you happier. Mother said you’re already twenty-six, so you should have someone beside you.”
Fu Zhihuan: “That’s not necessary. I’ll explain to them and break off the marriage.”
Such a lively and bright person should not be burdened with the mission of ‘making someone happy’.
However, he did not expect that he and Wen Ruan would have a fated interaction.
Fu Mingheng is right.
She is a very lovable little girl.
It was like a life that had always been barren…….then suddenly something happened and life became something to look forward to.
He suddenly understood what the psychiatrist said…….
“People don’t live for the past. There will be a day you will encounter something or meet someone that will make you look forward to the future.”
“And that is the time when you will understand life isn’t just about the past.”
And now, he has found it.
***☆☆☆***
Wen Ruan was stunned by the sudden apology.
Only then did she carefully study the expression on his face.
Suddenly she realized that the low pressure from his body was not a result of anger. An inexplicable dejection showed in his pair of dull eyes together with a deep feeling of tiredness and despair.
Although she did not know why but she could feel Fu Zhihuan’s current mood was not sad but painful.
She did not speak and just reached out to touch the back of his hand with her fingertips.
His hand seemed to be…….very cold.
When she saw that he did not move, Wen Ruan took a deep breath then held his right hand, and slowly wrapped her hand over his.
The warmth from her hand spread and soothed his stiff fingertips.
He was stunned. Then he raised his eyes and asked. “What are you doing?”
“Comforting you.”
Wen Ruan did not beat around the bush. She smiled and answered truthfully.
“I am not taking advantage of you. When I was a child in kindergarten, that’s how the teacher coaxed me! Doesn’t it give one a sense of caring?”
…….however, there is a slight desire to take advantage…….
But because she wanted to comfort him, it is negligible!
Fu Zhihuan looked down at Wen Ruan who is in front of him.
This little girl never seems to lose her temper.
Even when she throws a little temper, she would never let it affect others. After getting angry for a while, she would come over to coax others as if nothing had happened.
She is indeed a very lovable person.
Fu Zhihuan’s fingers trembled slightly and subconsciously wanted to withdraw his hand.
He looked at the person in front of him and for some reason, he suddenly had the urge to gather her in his arms.
And it was as though by touching her, he would be able to feel the warmth seeping into his cold heart.
However, he suppressed that feeling and it finally turned into a soft sigh.
""
He lowered his eyes with a slight smile then released Wen Ruan’s hand and said helplessly.
“So are you treating me like a kindergarten student now?”
She said righteously and confidently. “Whether it’s a child or an adult, everyone needs comforting!”
He laughed involuntarily when he saw Wen Ruan’s smiling slightly red face. He reached out his hand to rub her head and then turned around to walk towards Lu Kechen’s house.
“Let’s go.”
She looked at his back and was stunned for a moment. Then she raised her hand and touched the top of her head.
…….Did that man touch her head just now?!
***☆☆☆***
Due to his special identity, it was inconvenient for Fu Zhihuan to visit or communicate with the suspect without first reporting to his superior and getting permission.
Therefore, he remained downstairs and did not follow Wen Ruan.
Lu Kechen lived in an old fashion tube-like building apartment* and the trash bins downstairs were filled with stinky garbage bags. Many of the lights in the building were not working and the handrails seemed to have never been cleaned and were covered with a thick layer of dust.
(Tube-like building apartments were popular in China during the 70s and 80s. The buildings were usually 3-6 stories high without elevators and walkways ran through the middle of the buildings like tubes. Usually, one-room units of less than 20 square meters were arranged on both sides of the walkway without individual toilets, bathrooms, or kitchens. The whole building would share these common facilities situated on designated floors.)
Not a single piece of wall was left empty as they were covered with all kinds of small advertisements.
In fact, when Wen Ruan met Lu Kechen three years ago she knew that his family was leading a difficult life. His father ran a hardware store but could only make very little money and had to pay monthly rent as well. When Lu Kechen was three years old, his mother ran away with another man.
So……how did Lu Kechen save the money that he sent to Qin Biyang every month?
Wen Ruan stood in front of Lu Kechen’s house, took a deep breath, and lifted her hand to knock on the door.
She waited for a while but no one answered.
So, she knocked a second time.
Suddenly, an angry voice of a middle-aged male sounded from behind the door and it seemed to be approaching from afar…….
“All of you get lost! How many times have I told you that I don’t want to be interviewed?! Do you want me to chase you away?!”
Following that, the door in front of Wen Ruan was yanked open.
Father Lu stood at the door with his brows tightly knotted. His face was full of anger and his eyes were red. He was wearing a vest and when he opened the door, he had used so much force that the green veins in his hands were bulging.
Father Lu looked much older than three years ago and his chin was full of stubble.
Wen Ruan could remember very clearly that while she was talking to Father Lu three years ago, this sturdy man was silently smoking one cigarette after another.
Perhaps it was because there had been a steady stream of reporters coming to the house today that Father Fu became so irritated.
She was not frightened by him and instead, she said calmly. “Mr. Lu, it has been a long time since we saw each other.”
Father Lu recognized Wen Ruan and the angry expression on his face just now gradually loosened up but his hand was still resting on the door to prevent Wen Ruan from entering.
“I’m sorry, Lawyer Wen Ruan, I didn’t know it was you. Why are you here today?”
“Uh, although this is very presumptuous……I want to talk to Lu Kechen..…..about the recent case.”
Then she paused for a while and added seriously.
“Mr. Lu, I’m here to help him.”
Father Lu’s face stiffened. His hand that was holding the doorknob clenched tightly and he could not help but say. “Lu Kechen is not at home today.”
Of course, Wen Ruan could see that Father Lu was lying with just a glance.
“Mr. Lu……”
“I have said, Lu Kechen is not at home today! He has nothing to do with the case!”
Father Lu seemed to have regained his anger and his tone became sharp like just now.
“Miss Wen, so many people want justice but who will seek justice on behalf of my son? I don’t care about other people’s business! Anyway, it has nothing to do with my son!”
Wen Ruan could still remember that Father Lu was always silent before Lu Kechen’s court hearing three years ago.
Back then, he would only just squat at the entrance of the corridor while pressing on his knuckles and his lips were pressed tightly together in silence but his eyes were faintly red.
He is Lu Kechen’s father and at that moment, he has no noble-spirited thoughts and is only a father.
Wen Ruan did not say a word and a long while later she just bowed to him. She took out a business card and offered it to him with both her hands.
“Mr. Lu, I’m sorry…….I have been presumptuous tonight. This is my name card…….if you need my help, you can contact me any time.”
Father Lu’s fingers trembled but in the end, he reached out to take the card and closed the door.
Just as Father Lu turned around, he saw Lu Kechen standing at the door not far away and their eyes met.
Lu Kechen’s expression was very calm. He was holding the door with one hand and his eyes were like a layer of wet mist, deep and incomprehensible.
Without a word, Father Lu walked to the bedroom and then said in a soft voice. “What are you looking at? Go back to the room to sleep. Aren’t you going to school tomorrow?”
“Father!” Suddenly Lu Kechen shouted. “I’m sorry.”
Father Lu’s movements stopped. Taking a deep breath, he turned around to look at his son and said in a very serious tone.
“Child, tell me the truth. Did you kill that person? If anything happens, Father will take responsibility with you but you mustn’t lie.”
Lu Kechen looked at his father.
After so many years, without even realizing it, he was almost a head taller than his father.
The corners of his lips twitched slightly and he said with a smile.
“Don’t worry Father……it will be over soon.”
When Father Lu heard the words, his pupils shrank instantly. He stretched out his trembling hands to hold Lu Kechen’s shoulder and his eyes turned slightly red.
“Child, promise me that you won’t do anything stupid. You must believe there will be other ways to seek justice.”
Lu Kechen did not answer and just lowered his eyes. After a long silence, he reached out to pat the back of Father Lu’s hand and said lightly.
“Father should rest early.”
“See you tomorrow.”
Chapter 34: CH 34
While Fu Zhihuan was in university, he took the initiative to visit a highly respected psychologist for counseling.
During that time, Jin Chenhe got married with the help of his family and his wife became pregnant. He also got a job through his family’s connections and his life seemed to be on track.
Fu Zhihuan could not investigate someone just based on his inference since it was not considered evidence. Even though Fu Zhihuan was clear about this but from Jin Chenhe’s psychological quality, most probably he was not the murderer but someone who had inside information.
After more than twenty years of investigation that did not bear fruit, the Fu Family learned to forget and gradually gave up to start a new life.
There were no eyewitnesses and no relevant clues. As the years passed, the information that could be found became less and less.
‘The dead can’t be resurrected. The living must learn to look forward.’
Almost everyone gave him this advice.
“Fu Mingheng, you won’t be able to understand. That time, if I had held onto Xiao Qing’s hand and stayed beside her, she wouldn’t have gotten lost and wouldn’t be killed.”
Fu Zhihuan lowered his eyes and murmured.
“At that time, I just had to reach out my hand…….”
Forgiving others is definitely must easier than forgiving oneself.
Therefore, he could not turn a blind eye to the easily obtainable truth.
So he found a highly respected psychiatrist.
“So you’re worried that you will use extreme methods to set up a private court*?”
(Setting up a private court means handling or settling a problem by illegal means.)
The old psychiatrist asked calmly.
“Everyone would think of avenging their loved ones. But Fu Lu, from the moment you took the initiative to look for me and apply for treatment, it was obvious that you wouldn’t violate the bottom line of the law.”
“It’s just that you don’t love yourself enough.”
Misanthropy.
It was not known when this feeling started.
Fu Zhihuan would not choose extreme methods to get justice because he understands that no one can set up a private court.
Law does not exist solely for any particular person. It is set up to maintain social order and is rational justice.
Fu Zhihuan just hated himself for being powerless and will live his life in guilt every day from then on.
“Father and Mother have arranged a fiancée for you. Her name is Wen Ruan and she is a very lovable girl.” Fu Mingheng said.
“You will know when you meet her. Father and Mother feel that she can make you happier. Mother said you’re already twenty-six, so you should have someone beside you.”
Fu Zhihuan: “That’s not necessary. I’ll explain to them and break off the marriage.”
Such a lively and bright person should not be burdened with the mission of ‘making someone happy’.
However, he did not expect that he and Wen Ruan would have a fated interaction.
Fu Mingheng is right.
She is a very lovable little girl.
It was like a life that had always been barren…….then suddenly something happened and life became something to look forward to.
He suddenly understood what the psychiatrist said…….
“People don’t live for the past. There will be a day you will encounter something or meet someone that will make you look forward to the future.”
“And that is the time when you will understand life isn’t just about the past.”
And now, he has found it.
***☆☆☆***
Wen Ruan was stunned by the sudden apology.
Only then did she carefully study the expression on his face.
Although she did not know why but she could feel Fu Zhihuan’s current mood was not sad but painful.
She did not speak and just reached out to touch the back of his hand with her fingertips.
His hand seemed to be…….very cold.
When she saw that he did not move, Wen Ruan took a deep breath then held his right hand, and slowly wrapped her hand over his.
The warmth from her hand spread and soothed his stiff fingertips.
He was stunned. Then he raised his eyes and asked. “What are you doing?”
“Comforting you.”
Wen Ruan did not beat around the bush. She smiled and answered truthfully.
“I am not taking advantage of you. When I was a child in kindergarten, that’s how the teacher coaxed me! Doesn’t it give one a sense of caring?”
…….however, there is a slight desire to take advantage…….
But because she wanted to comfort him, it is negligible!
Fu Zhihuan looked down at Wen Ruan who is in front of him.
This little girl never seems to lose her temper.
Even when she throws a little temper, she would never let it affect others. After getting angry for a while, she would come over to coax others as if nothing had happened.
She is indeed a very lovable person.
Fu Zhihuan’s fingers trembled slightly and subconsciously wanted to withdraw his hand.
He looked at the person in front of him and for some reason, he suddenly had the urge to gather her in his arms.
And it was as though by touching her, he would be able to feel the warmth seeping into his cold heart.
However, he suppressed that feeling and it finally turned into a soft sigh.
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He lowered his eyes with a slight smile then released Wen Ruan’s hand and said helplessly.
“So are you treating me like a kindergarten student now?”
She said righteously and confidently. “Whether it’s a child or an adult, everyone needs comforting!”
He laughed involuntarily when he saw Wen Ruan’s smiling slightly red face. He reached out his hand to rub her head and then turned around to walk towards Lu Kechen’s house.
“Let’s go.”
She looked at his back and was stunned for a moment. Then she raised her hand and touched the top of her head.
…….Did that man touch her head just now?!
***☆☆☆***
Due to his special identity, it was inconvenient for Fu Zhihuan to visit or communicate with the suspect without first reporting to his superior and getting permission.
Therefore, he remained downstairs and did not follow Wen Ruan.
Lu Kechen lived in an old fashion tube-like building apartment* and the trash bins downstairs were filled with stinky garbage bags. Many of the lights in the building were not working and the handrails seemed to have never been cleaned and were covered with a thick layer of dust.
(Tube-like building apartments were popular in China during the 70s and 80s. The buildings were usually 3-6 stories high without elevators and walkways ran through the middle of the buildings like tubes. Usually, one-room units of less than 20 square meters were arranged on both sides of the walkway without individual toilets, bathrooms, or kitchens. The whole building would share these common facilities situated on designated floors.)
Not a single piece of wall was left empty as they were covered with all kinds of small advertisements.
In fact, when Wen Ruan met Lu Kechen three years ago she knew that his family was leading a difficult life. His father ran a hardware store but could only make very little money and had to pay monthly rent as well. When Lu Kechen was three years old, his mother ran away with another man.
So……how did Lu Kechen save the money that he sent to Qin Biyang every month?
Wen Ruan stood in front of Lu Kechen’s house, took a deep breath, and lifted her hand to knock on the door.
She waited for a while but no one answered.
So, she knocked a second time.
Suddenly, an angry voice of a middle-aged male sounded from behind the door and it seemed to be approaching from afar…….
Following that, the door in front of Wen Ruan was yanked open.
Father Lu stood at the door with his brows tightly knotted. His face was full of anger and his eyes were red. He was wearing a vest and when he opened the door, he had used so much force that the green veins in his hands were bulging.
Father Lu looked much older than three years ago and his chin was full of stubble.
Wen Ruan could remember very clearly that while she was talking to Father Lu three years ago, this sturdy man was silently smoking one cigarette after another.
Perhaps it was because there had been a steady stream of reporters coming to the house today that Father Fu became so irritated.
She was not frightened by him and instead, she said calmly. “Mr. Lu, it has been a long time since we saw each other.”
Father Lu recognized Wen Ruan and the angry expression on his face just now gradually loosened up but his hand was still resting on the door to prevent Wen Ruan from entering.
“I’m sorry, Lawyer Wen Ruan, I didn’t know it was you. Why are you here today?”
“Uh, although this is very presumptuous……I want to talk to Lu Kechen..…..about the recent case.”
Then she paused for a while and added seriously.
“Mr. Lu, I’m here to help him.”
Father Lu’s face stiffened. His hand that was holding the doorknob clenched tightly and he could not help but say. “Lu Kechen is not at home today.”
Of course, Wen Ruan could see that Father Lu was lying with just a glance.
“Mr. Lu……”
“I have said, Lu Kechen is not at home today! He has nothing to do with the case!”
Father Lu seemed to have regained his anger and his tone became sharp like just now.
“Miss Wen, so many people want justice but who will seek justice on behalf of my son? I don’t care about other people’s business! Anyway, it has nothing to do with my son!”
Wen Ruan could still remember that Father Lu was always silent before Lu Kechen’s court hearing three years ago.
Back then, he would only just squat at the entrance of the corridor while pressing on his knuckles and his lips were pressed tightly together in silence but his eyes were faintly red.
Wen Ruan did not say a word and a long while later she just bowed to him. She took out a business card and offered it to him with both her hands.
“Mr. Lu, I’m sorry…….I have been presumptuous tonight. This is my name card…….if you need my help, you can contact me any time.”
Father Lu’s fingers trembled but in the end, he reached out to take the card and closed the door.
Just as Father Lu turned around, he saw Lu Kechen standing at the door not far away and their eyes met.
Lu Kechen’s expression was very calm. He was holding the door with one hand and his eyes were like a layer of wet mist, deep and incomprehensible.
Without a word, Father Lu walked to the bedroom and then said in a soft voice. “What are you looking at? Go back to the room to sleep. Aren’t you going to school tomorrow?”
“Father!” Suddenly Lu Kechen shouted. “I’m sorry.”
Father Lu’s movements stopped. Taking a deep breath, he turned around to look at his son and said in a very serious tone.
“Child, tell me the truth. Did you kill that person? If anything happens, Father will take responsibility with you but you mustn’t lie.”
Lu Kechen looked at his father.
After so many years, without even realizing it, he was almost a head taller than his father.
The corners of his lips twitched slightly and he said with a smile.
“Don’t worry Father……it will be over soon.”
When Father Lu heard the words, his pupils shrank instantly. He stretched out his trembling hands to hold Lu Kechen’s shoulder and his eyes turned slightly red.
“Child, promise me that you won’t do anything stupid. You must believe there will be other ways to seek justice.”
Lu Kechen did not answer and just lowered his eyes. After a long silence, he reached out to pat the back of Father Lu’s hand and said lightly.
“Father should rest early.”
“See you tomorrow.”
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