Chapter 8: 8 Last Resort

Conor had always believed that if he worked hard enough, things would get easier. It’s because he wanted his relationship with his adopted mother to work, no matter how messed up it was.

Unlike other children his age, he was intelligent and independent enough to live on his own. Yet, there was also this small glint, this tiny wish to depend on someone else—a real family.

Years ago, he never imagined he was entitled to such a privilege. His broken father just proved him different too many times. So when he was adopted by Victoria last fall, he thought that maybe, just maybe, he got another chance. His last chance. 

Victoria turned out to be a bad mother. Terrible, even. She was short-tempered, overbearing, sometimes down-right dangerous and a total pain in the ass. Yet, she also gave him delicious food, a place to sleep with clean, fitting clothes and the opportunity to study.

In the beginning, this was the main reason why he endured her torment in the first place. It was only later on when he thought that as long as he proved himself, showed her that he was worth it, she would acknowledge him enough for them to be a real family. Almost like the harmonious stereotype he used to see on TV.

But now, this dream was crushed as well. 

After all, he had no talent. Or, at the very least, it was terrible enough to be meaningless. 

Either way, it didn’t take a long time until Conor was starting to lose hope. Failing continuously was a great burden mentally, despite his determination. Victoria, on the other hand, was far from convinced. Every day, she would bring up some new way to awaken his sense of inner force. 

“Alright, now take a deep breath. I’m going to transmit some of my inner force into your body which will feel a little hot. Let it wash over you without resisting, okay?”

“... Got it,” Conor replied in a quiet voice. They’ve already tried this two times before which is why he didn’t have many hopes for this try either. 

Feeling a weird sensation creeping through his muscles, Conor suddenly got a sense of warmth coming from his body. It spread over to his lower body, down his legs before coming back up and vanishing altogether. 

Then, he suddenly spat out blood. Coughing, the crimson liquid came out of his mouth uncontrollably as his sight grew dizzy.

“Damnit!” Victoria cursed as she pressed the nape of his neck to stop the coughing reflex. She called the nurse over while carrying Conor’s body over to his bed as quickly as possible. 

Meanwhile, Conor has long passed out from blood loss. 

It was only two days later that he regained consciousness. Luckily, the harsh training made his body more resistant to injuries such as these, otherwise, the result would have been worse.

Conor tried to see if that experience changed anything but to no avail. With his head hung low, he spent the next few days in recovery, looking out the window without saying a single word.

This continued until one morning, Victoria entered his room holding a yellowish-brown, wrinkled root in her hands.

“This is a ginseng root. It’s commonly used for replenishing fatigue but its medicinal properties rely on the fact that it stimulates the latent energy in the body. Maybe if you eat this, the excess in latent energy makes it possible for you to feel inner force.”

“Can we just stop?” He asked, making Victoria frown.

“What are you talking about? This might be your chance to succeed. Why stop now?”

“Hah, we already tried this method, don’t you remember? Half a month ago and it didn’t do work! The only thing it stimulated was my stomach, making it so bloated that I sat on the toilet for an hour!”

“This one is different. The quality is much higher-...”

“It doesn’t matter, okay? I can’t feel that energy in my body and probably never will!”

Seeing his resigned state, Victoria understood that Conor has already given up. This fact somehow made her angry. Maybe even afraid.

“So that’s it. You don’t want it to succeed. In your mind, you’ve already declared your defeat, blocking all effort from paying off.”

Conor listened quietly to her words but hearing her belittling him like that, he became angry as well. He was hurt after all his hard work over the last year was said to be useless. At this point, he didn’t even care if his tantrum would earn him another beating.

“Yeah, and what of it? I understand you’re trying to turn me into someone who can stand up proudly against the entire world but that’s not me. Maybe I should just go back to the orphanage.”

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“You want to go back? To that pit of despair, I pulled you out from?”

“Well, at least I can have a life there and not crawl through this misery for the rest of my life.”

Victoria suddenly laughed. 

“A life. Don’t joke around, little bug. Do you know the statistical future of orphans like you? Sixty percent will go around unable to find a job due to their missing education. The rest will gain an opportunity out of sheer luck and be swallowed in the gulf of capitalism a couple of years later. 

In response, the majority lean on gangs and criminal behavior to make a living until they find themselves stuck in a prison-cell. Less than one percent can get out of that cycle but not without having a mark for a lifetime on their back. That is the gap between the rich and poor.”

“So why don’t you donate to those orphanages if you guys have all that money?” 

“Tsk, little bug. Who do you think financed that place you were living before, huh?”

After Victoria was finished and even countered his last desperate remark, Conor fell silent. He didn’t think the truth would hurt that much but it did. It made clear to him that either life wouldn’t be easy. A hopeless orphan or a threatened heir.

He knew it was more painful but hopes and dreams were the only things he had left. If that would be taken away from him as well, he would be nothing.

As he pondered about this while blankly staring at the ceiling, Victoria decided to leave. The conversation was over and both of them needed time to think.

……………

Entering her office, Victoria let out a deep sigh. Although it didn’t show much on her face, she was deeply exhausted. More mentally than physically.

When she considered adoption for the first time, she didn’t care much about the child’s talent. Some experts and ancient clans recruit members through requirements like that but Victoria was different.

Willpower, determination, and personality were more important. Someone who would click with her. Talent and comprehension were something that could be made up with training.

At least, that was until the case with Conor. 

She understood that his failure of sensing inner force was less a matter of lacking talent but more of a mental barrier. The only problem was that she didn’t know the cause of it. Might it be his past or rather concerns for the future?

It was a mystery. 

She didn’t want him to go through the same thing as her sister. Unable to practice martial arts, she was scorned and looked down upon by family and strangers alike. Her mere existence was said to be a stain. 

Back then, Victoria was still powerless and tried to show her talent to shift the attention away from Cynthia. It worked for some time but soon enough, it backfired when people started comparing her outstanding ability to her sister.

At last, it was her marriage with Henry Blake that shut down those people. She started to become successful in business and proved that martial arts weren’t needed for her.

But Conor was different. He was the future heir of the Hawkes family and giving him back to the orphanage wasn’t an option, especially after spending all that time with him.

He had to succeed. She might have forced him to train but he didn’t know about the brutal plots of the people that would want his head in the future. Acts of poison, planned assassinations, or straight-out wars were all too common in the fight for supremacy. 

That’s why he needed to feel inner force. To surpass his mortal limits, otherwise, he would never stand a chance. 

For that, she would put him in a situation that forced him to use it. A situation where the consequences meant death. 

She hoped to avoid such methods but she was left with no other choice.

Tomorrow, she would throw him off a cliff.

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