Chapter 24: Chapter 20 – Bismilah

“So, grandma, the visions I had…” I began, immediately noticing May tense up, before she slouched her shoulders. I turned off my glamour when we got home, and I was now hugging my tail. May had made her way over to the bed and sat down right next to me. “You avoided talking about them on the tram pretty awkwardly, but… I figure I should talk to you about them. About the ones I got of you.” 

“You should have gotten some of your own life as well.” She was avoiding my gaze, like an action hero hiding a bullet wound so as to not worry their comrades. 

“I did, but they were just… me not getting to be a girl when I was a kid, and of finding out mom died.” I hugged my tail tighter, and May turned to face me. 

“Finding out?” I took a couple deep breaths at her question. 

“Dad didn’t let me see her the second she got hospitalised.” I let go of my tail, as I knew I would hurt myself squeezing it as hard as I was about to squeeze it. But I also felt my ears droop down a little bit? “I never got to say goodbye...” I turned to look at May. Her expression was horrified for just a second, before it turned to that of righteous anger. She took out her phone and sent off a quick text, before pulling me into a hug. 

“I’m so sorry dear, I should have been there for you. I don’t think I can ever properly make it up to you.” I of course hugged her back, how couldn’t I? 

“You can start by not avoiding talking about the visions.” I could feel May nod into the hug. 

“You’re right, I haven’t talked to anyone about it since it happened, and I should.” She pulled out of the hug slightly, to position herself and me better for a long conversation. “So… what did you see?” 

I contemplated how to start, how to properly explain what I saw. As I wracked my brain my ears again felt weird, as if they were moving. I sighed and reached for one, finding it to be fuzzy and triangular. Great. Furry cat ears. I’d have to get a proper look at them later. I couldn’t believe I missed them on my first examination. But, I shook off my quick surprise and began. “So, first one, you were sitting in a field with someone named Odie? Aaaand… you mentioned wanting to be a mom.” May let out a little snort at that. 

“Oh wow, I was what, 50 back then? No wait no, 30. We hadn’t even begun establishing Hell by that point, nobody had died yet. Well, nobody mortal from the new run.” She leaned back and sighed. “It was nice back then. I haven’t visited Hell ever since I went on the run. Outside the torture zones it really is a remarkable place.” 

“Yeah, Leonard kind of accidentally dropped us there earlier today. I met Lucifer… and found out I’m going to Hell for being trans. Can’t believe the bigots were right about that.” I chuckled nervously, before continuing. “Odie gave you a carved figure, for your first daughter.” May nodded at that. 

“Her name was Issa. I had her with a priestess that hadn’t performed one of her temples sacred rites. It was a choice back then, as it is now. Issa was curious and athletic and quite enjoyed exploring.” She smiled slightly. “Still not quite sure how the second pair of arms and the spider eyes happened.” 

“Then the second one, you were surrounded by I guess your family, and Odionyx visited with a warning and a gift for Amber.” 

“Amber, yes, my youngest. The one who survived. She really liked stories, hearing them and telling them and recording them. She was, also, quite a bit of a smartass.” May pulled me into a hug again. “You remind me so much of her. She was about your age when I last saw her.” I eased into the hug, sighing. 

“How was life like, with all of them?” 

“Oh, it was wonderful. A caring house full of love. I was so proud of each and every single one of them. Loved them with all my heart. They made eternity worth living.” May had begun stroking my hair at that point, and I smiled a bit. 

“Do you… do you want to have a movie night, before we talk about the last vision I had?” I looked up at her, and she gave me a quick shrug.

“I’d rather get it over with, truth be told. Peel off the bandaid. What was the last thing you saw?” 

“It was, um... It was you, hulking out and ripping off an angel’s wings.” I felt her hug get tighter, as she took a deep breath. 

“A demon is a creature of emotion. We’re powered by all kinds of feelings, can induce all kinds of feelings. Overwhelming feelings can make the container shatter, like an unburped fermentation jar. And that’s how the hulking out happened.” I squeezed her hand in support. “Imagine losing all your loved ones in one fell swoop due to the actions of an overzealous angel. The pain of that is… indescribable.” She squeezed back. “But what’s more overwhelming is finding out that one survived, and lived and thrived and had daughters of her own. And that I get to connect with one of them.”  

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“Yeah, I’m… I’m glad to have you in my life. I mean it’s only been a couple hours, that included you kidnapping me in my underwear and then taking me shopping, but still. You’ve done more for me in like six hours than my father has ever done for me in 19 years.” May rested her head on top of mine. 

“How could I not, Lily. You’re family. Now how about we prepare for that movie night you mentioned, what’re you thinking?” I squirmed myself out of May’s clutches in that moment, walking over to my desk to look through the options. 

“Some low stakes cute cartoons? Something from before Disney went creatively bankrupt for money?” I was scrolling through my files, humming as I checked all that I had downloaded. It’s all public domain now, Walt’s Corpse Turned Puppet To Keep The Copyright Going For Money! 

“How about the 2060 remake of the Little Mermaid?” May offered. 

“The one where Prince Eric-” I did air quotes around both Prince and Eric. “-Is trans and realises it when her and Ariel learn sign language together to communicate, and the other pretty lady that results in Ariel turning into seafoam in the original story wants the Princess to be stuck as a prince?... Wow no wonder I liked that version so much. Especially all the hand drawn animation.” I quickly used the search function to bring it up, before I went to dive into the shopping bags for an item I was very excited to get and wear. One quick wardrobe change, and I was now sitting in bed wearing an otter pajama onesie, as May chuckled and conjured herself up a sheep one. And then I snuggled up in her lap and we watched the movie together. 

 

We must have passed out while watching, because I woke up with May holding me protectively against herself, as though she was scared that were she to let go of me I’d disappear. I decided to surprise my traumatised grandma with pancakes for breakfast. May pulled me closer the moment I tried to squirm out of bed. She needed Mrs. Fahrenheit more than I did, by the looks of it. With a bit of effort I did manage to free myself, and to walk over to the kitchen counter, seconds before May sat up straight in bed, her eyes panicked. 

“LILY!” She was breathing heavy, but calmed down slightly as her gaze fell on me, breathing a sigh of relief. “Just a nightmare. Just a nightmare. You’re here and he’s not-” She audibly gulped. “He’s not going to touch you as long as I’m here.” 

“Who isn’t going to touch me?” I had, partially as a goof and partially to test it out, begun whisking the egg whites using my tail. I was going to make VERY fluffy pancakes if it was the last thing I did.  

“Khazmiel. The angel who… who… who took them all from me...” May had made her way over to me, ruffling my hair a bit. I think it was half out of affection, and half to make sure I was real. “He’s a real piece of work. Known as the Bloodhound of The Triad, he’s pure zeal and devotion and aggression.” 

“So the angels got really jumpy about your daughters, my great grandmas & aunts, and decided to do something about it?” Mix dry and wet separately, then fold in gently, pancake batter can have lumps, lumps means you’re not overbeating and creating gluten resulting in tough pancakes. 

“They thought I was building an army to overthrow Heaven. An army! I just wanted to be a mom! I had a lot of love to give! So I had a lot of daughters! And they send the stab first ask never asshole after us.” May sighed and leaned against the counter, rubbing her eyes. “He remained on Earth after I ripped off his wings, just like I did. I had to constantly run and hide, since he was tracking me. I probably dragged his attention away from Amber with that.” 

“Shit, can he still track you?” I dug out a pan. 

“No, no, a friend of mine dealt with that, I’m invisible as far as scrying or magical tracking goes. Honestly, it’s much easier to find me using my transaction history. But as if Khazmiel even knew how to start a fire, he’s technologically stumped.” May’s eyes widened for a second, before she groaned. “Shit.” 

“What, what is it?” The pancakes were sizzling away as I asked that. 

“I just realised. The botched ritual was protecting you from being tracked by him. Now that I fixed that, you’re the strongest source of my scent there is.” May walked away a bit, checking her phone. “That’s two things to sort out with her... I have a very important question for you, Lily.” She said while turning to me. 

“Sure, what’s the question?” 

“How are you with needles?”