Later that night, as I walked towards my room, I heard a tumblr, perhaps what sounded like something going against one of the walls, or even someone falling straight onto the floor. My heart raced, spooked I was without knowing what to do. ‘Is it an intruder?’ I placed my hands on the cold sides of the hall, using them to sense the vibrations and impacts that were constant, delicate sometimes, and a little stronger at others. My head turned back towards the path that would lead me to the master bedroom, but waking him up in vain could bring forth a severe punishment. ‘I have to make sure!’
My plan was simple. At first notice of an intruder, I’d scream as loud as possible. After all, my surroundings consisted of the presence of dangerous brothers and sisters, the named ones that composed the core of the brotherhood. Not to forget the master, in our kingdom alone, there were only nine others who could duel him.
Step by step, my feet took me closer to the noise source. As I reached the door, the vibration was clearly stronger, as if the pace of the beating had gotten rougher. If this was an assault, perhaps someone was smacking the floor with the rest of their energy for what could be their last struggle to resist passing away. Gentle trembling, my pale fingers quickly found its way to the handle, turning it softly, avoiding any sorts of sound, and then I pushed the door forward, slowly, to not alert anyone who might be inside.
Due to the small size of the aforementioned room, the first thing I saw that left me instantly speechless to the point of causing my mouth to open was a barren land. Solid, sturdy dry sands with hills through the entire terrain. It was fantastic, and it made me blush. The sight of the dunes going forth and back, getting bigger or smaller depending on the movement of his entire body. The muscles that seemed to sparkle as the rain poured down on them, the sweat that contoured every ledge and each corner of them, causing them to glitter. And by his waist, two light tanned feet, embracing that grand back as if it was her entire world. The sounds were no longer troublesome. They no longer caused my heart to panic. I knew what was happening, but my brain was still processing the entire thing. The most vivid recollection of such a scene was when the greasy man fell on me and attempted that nasty assault. But seeing them it felt strangely different, not quite sure how, however, a simple thought came to me. ‘They look beautiful together.’
That was all there was to it, my sole reasoning that was followed by my hand reaching out for my mouth, shutting it, ceasing the sound of my saliva going down my throat as it starved for its wetness, to lubricate its tender inner sides. I managed to not bother them, to not spoil both of their nightly pleasure, to avoid their awareness to catch up to me. Like a ghost, I remained ghastly and concealed from them by the room entrance, spying with an eye through the thin line between the hall and the door. Very similar to a creeper, but more than that, like an innocent soul that couldn’t cease all this curiosity inside. Fafia and Rubia had told me about it, as I once explained what happened before the hunter found me. They went into all sorts of details, giving me the realization of how to get pregnant. It wasn’t all too weird. At first, I found it repulsive and dreadful, scarred by my trauma. It contained some fear and disdain altogether, but Fafia often spoke of love and that sex aligned with it. She even went as far as to say that doing it created more love. In addition, the young woman advised me to not subdue myself to a past event, that luckily for me, it didn’t go all the way. It might have been like that, but it still haunted me. She knew it well, and so did I, as up to this day, a sour flavor pricked my tongue whenever someone mentioned that occasion.
My warm face leaned on the hall, and from that a cold sensation collided with it, very much like the strength that the hunter who was on top was doing, causing the bed to move forth and back. The hitting sounds on the wall were his fault, but it was an overall relief. I preferred it this way, much better than an intruder penetrating its way into my little haven. I shifted the angle a bit and stared at Fafia’s pretty face. Her hair was a mess. It looked chaotic on her pillow, and her cheeks were rosy. The lips had a thin line of blood dropping in the middle of them, but she seemed happy. ‘I’ve never seen her smile like that...’
Amidst the sounds, the echoes of moans coming from both caused him to straighten his back, pulling Fafia’s legs closer. In my eyes, it looked like they were about to go a notch higher. It was the feeling I got. And to my realization, it was right. She placed both her hands in front of her lips as moans were no longer coming out of it, screams were, but not pained ones. Be it as it may, it sure painted her eyes with a new glint, a priceless shiny one that sparkled sweetly for the man in front of her. Despite what I thought could be painful, her legs tightened even more around his large back, alleviating my heart that she wanted it, possibly even more than he did.
“He’s going to break her, ain’t he?” I murmured silently while having my right hand in front of my lips to seal the sound further. Above all, I had to be sure neither of them would catch me in this situation. It would be at the very least very awkward, and hard to explain. These words came from the way his hands gripped her legs. They looked like an eagle claw. I closed the door, not willing to see the ending of it as my heart felt like it was going to explode from the mixtures of emotions that flowed through me. ‘I should get back to bed.’
And I did. Soft steps took me to my room where the usual open window and a black crow often awaited my return. Ever since that time one year ago, he came to check on me every so often. That’s what I would tell myself, knowing fully well that everyone in this world only wants to use me for their own goals. And this little bird was no different. To get his stomach full of the leftovers of bread I left there from time to time. But at the very least, he allowed me to pet his back while he ate. It was rough in the beginning as he’d fly away, possibly scared.
The most disappointing thing about meeting this crow was how our blue eyes used to match to some extent, and now, as if betraying me, they looked brown, and he appeared to be a big bigger than before. I let out a small muttering sound that was matched by his own calling. “I don’t have bread for you today.” Almost as if understanding me, he flapped his wings violently without leaving the top of the desk, going as far as to look at me sideways by turning his head, judging me with a single eye. “You can glare at me all you want...” And with a softer tone, I added, embarrassed. “... I will not pass through that room again to get you some.”
I took a seat on the bed, indulging myself in the typical corner while hugging both of my slender legs as I felt relaxed. My blue light eyes stared at the creature who didn’t look happy, but despite a few pecks he did when we played together a few times, there had never been a real crow attack. I extended my arm, placing the palm of my hand upward as if inviting him to fly to it. At that, he flapped his wings a few times and left through the window. My heart scorned that behavior, and I held back my tears. I cuddled under my sheets while facing the nearest wall. “I should get a different pet, stupid crow...”
That night, for the first time, I dreamt of the eight doors, of the way each and every single one of them glowed differently. And from them, convicted voices crawled towards me with tempting invitations through their small keyholes. “Come creature, join my army and deliver its light to the world!”
“Don’t listen to the god of light. Come here instead, little monster! I shall bless you with greater water powers!” The diverse voices spoke of their dignified goals and their prizes, similar to the wheel of the elements. But not a single of them called me by my name.
I started spinning around while hearing many others, meeting the diverse colors, eventually stopping. And then my surroundings were the ones twirling. However, before I could get a grasp of what was happening, I found myself looking at it all from above. The girl under me fell to her knees and her head leaned backwards, allowing her long hair to touch the floor. Our gazes matched at that single frame of time. Tears fell from her sorrowful eyes, and she yelled. “Save me!”
It was then that I woke up and found my vision to be turbid, my cheeks cold and wet, heart pained, and belly too. It hurt greatly. But the last sensation followed me since the morning, so it was to be expected that it wouldn’t go away immediately. “It was just a nightmare, Aura. You’re okay now... I’m okay now.” I reassured myself, talking like this often used to help in my loneliest and darkest moments, and this time, it was just another one. I clutched the sheets and use them to wipe the salty water away off my skin, drenching them in return, darkening some of its white spots.
I gazed around as if looking for something, but nothing was out of place. My eyes met the room entrance, and I spun my sight away, across the room onto the window instead. ‘I don’t need a trauma with doors, too.’ I chuckled out of desperation at my own issues that seemed to increase day by day.
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