Chapter 4: Chapter 2: The Beginning Arc

‘What should I do? Even if I leave, I’ll end up starving out there without money.’ Suddenly, I remembered about some coins that Josie kept upstairs to pay the men who brought food to the orphanage upon a deal they had with the chief. Incapable of allowing my life to end after struggling in diverse ways, I gripped my right hand and started devising a way out of this place.

‘It’ll be risky to go there on my own, but I need to leave this place before it’s too late.’ I moved hall after hall, curving to the right, then to the left, reaching some staircases that took me to the second floor. Step by step, slowly to not make them creak, feeling nervous and stressed, my feet climbed them. Upon successfully reaching the top, I walked closer to a sole door at the end of the thin hall in front of me. My hand then grabbed the round handle, rotating it clockwise, opening the door softly and slowly, inspecting what was inside or who. I hoped with all my heart for the room to be empty and with my heart almost exploding from the tension, I pushed it.

I found myself faced with a square window across the room. The light showed me how empty and tidy the room was. Without time to waste, I rushed to the chest drawer and started opening one drawer after the other until I found a bag of coins. ‘Thank goodness she didn’t take it with her.’

Swiftly I pushed them back, leaving everything closed, then without a moment to waste, my body turned around to the exit and made a run for the stairs, shutting the door on my way out. Slowly, my feet went downstairs, avoiding unnecessary sounds that could alert Josie. Once I reached the bottom, I leaned with half of my face at the closest turn to find the evil caretaker. With her out of sight, I went to my room and changed from the white pajama to a white shirt and brown pants. In the trousers pocket, I placed the bag with the coins.

‘I can only hope the rear door exit is open, otherwise...’ I gulped dry, tired from all the running and mental pain that kept aching in my mind, causing my teeth to clench while hoping for the best. ‘I’ll be stuck inside this place till I’m sold.’ I wiped the sweat from the forehead with the long sleeve white shirt and then resumed running, right corner, then left one, following through the last of the long halls which led to the exit. As I was about to reach it... it caused me to imagine a dark scenario.

‘Please be open or the lunatic duke will chop me into a thousand pieces.’ A whimpering sound left my lips, along with a slight trembling sensation that flowed through my skin.

‘I beg you door... do not betray me too.’ My heart pounded at a thousand beats per second as my right hand reached for the door handle and a voice echoed from the hall behind.

“White-haired girl? Where are you?”

Feeling the cold sweat descending on my back, along with the Cerberus’ howls. I put all my remaining strength on the handle, turning it forcefully while gulping down the accumulated saliva. It seemed in god’s plan as the believers would say. The door opened, and I went through it, closing it on the way out. It was pretty common for me to hide from Josie, who would search for me whenever she needed to vent some stress, so with some luck, the caretaker would take it as just another one of those times.

‘Where do I go now?’ I looked in front of me, finding a path that led to a narrow street, dividing itself further ahead in three directions. Without ever having left the orphanage as the caretakers prohibited us from doing so, and if that wasn’t bad enough, they would also award those who tried with great punishment. I felt absolutely lost right from the start, not knowing where to go. The people around looked at me with disgust as if they were looking at filth.

The hell dog roars became louder, something normal as it began feeling some frustration for not finding its prey, causing my legs to move on their own through the middle path, ignoring everything and everyone. Step after step, I went through some narrow streets and a couple of alleys that looked identical one to another.

‘Why does everything look the same?’ I panicked and scorned my fate.

My hand gripped itself, resulting in whiter knuckles than usual. Once I felt it itching me, I let go of it, looking back at my palm, noticing red dots surfacing on my pale skin where the tip of my fingers almost carved some holes.

A sigh escaped my lips and shook my head to the sides. I knew hurting myself wasn’t the solution. My head turned from one direction to the other, but all that came into my view were rock-paved roads and similar houses. Some made of orange-looking dirty bricks and others of disgusting gray and black stone. All of it looked cheap, simple, and identical, and none of it gave me a hint or a solution.

I ran a bit more filled with despair, and on my way to the new location, I bumped into this or that person, eventually stopping three hours later, between two walls in a little dark corner of sorts, next to a small wooden sign. The object that made some distinction compared to the other places I went through. My eyes took a glimpse at it and the word pub I read, not knowing what it meant. Back at the orphanage, they forced us to learn how to read and write, allowing our price to increase. Only the basics, and certainly not enough to reach a named one standard knowledge.

“Wondering what is this place...” I took a glimpse through the pub’s window, finding figures inside. They were chattering loudly, sounds of merry men with rosy cheeks as they ate, drank, and laughed. I quickly disregarded it and moved back to the sign, thinking about the next step.

‘What should I do now? I don’t even know where I am... is there any place I could go for help?’ I looked around, not finding a single soul as it was getting dark and the cold of the night began freezing me mercilessly. And then, out of nowhere, the door next to me opened along with maddening screams, confusing me more than I already was.

“Out of my pub, you drunkard! Go get more coins if you want more ale! It’s not fucking free!” After a few tries pushing the man out of the pub, the tall figure fell on the ground, tripping down a couple of stairs, landing a few steps away from me.

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Abruptly after, the door shut with great impact, since the owner was incredibly furious. The figure got up, complaining about the pain from falling. Much to my surprise, he began walking in my direction. Noticing this, I took a few steps backward from the main road, further to the side into the no exit alley, allowing him to pass by, and as he reached close enough, to my poor luck, his feet slipped, causing his figure to curve towards my direction.

This resulted from the humid floor, but mainly from his own sorry state. Boldly and crudely, he fell on top of me accidentally, and roughly, crushing my right knee bone, splitting the edges from one another. A familiar degree of harm made my body despair as the intense pain flowed into my brain. It commanded it to give me the most devilish response. As such, I followed through it with my own roar. It sounded incredibly loud, poured with all the strength of my lungs. If it was during the daylight, it would’ve startled everyone around. 

“Uh? What’s this soft thing under me?” The man groped the back of my left thigh randomly, causing me more harm, eventually finding its way to my butt, which made him let a happy snort.

Feeling the pain from my knee, the uncomfortable touch, the intense smell of alcohol close by, and the dirty ground below, I voiced out in great protest. “Ugh! Let go of me! You’re heavy!” 

The guy turned around fully, finding me in a defenseless position with my stomach faced to the floor. To his eyes, fresh and uncooked meat, far from the appropriate age, but edible to a savage beast void of morality and scruples. The man, who looked more like a brute orc, had an ugly and short-haired head, along with an enormous belly, whose alcoholic turmoils reached my ears whenever he bounced it. The villain figure punched the back of my head while shouting his insanity and dirty will.

“Shut up, cunt, you shall be my beer replacement today!”

‘Replacement? What does he mean by that?’ Despite all the bullying in the orphanage, there was one thing that never happened to me. Sexual abuse, and the only reason something like that wasn’t allowed, was thanks to the increased price of the children leaving that place with their virginity intact.

As he started pulling my brown pants to him, I yelled, seeking and hoping for someone to save me while looking at his horrendous expression and rosy cheeks. Even if I didn’t understand the exact procedure of sex, I felt in all ways that the way he touched me was inappropriate. Both my heart and mind didn’t allow it, and I struggled in every way possible with my body by moving, squirming, and resisting as much as possible. “Help! Someone save me!”

“You bitch! Stop delaying and accept your fate! Today is the day that hole will widen. Now, give it to me!” With brute force, the man grabbed my arm, hurting my slim wrist harshly, making me unable to voice my rescuing petition. Instead, I started screaming out of pain, the one he caused, and this amount, in particular, I was quite familiar with. My voice got louder the lower my pants went, and eventually, they reached my knees.

‘Please, I don’t want this... let go of me, please...’ Such words crossed my mind as my mouth was busy shouting, to no avail.

As he was about to lower my white underwear, a clacking sound hit the stone-cold grey paved floor. One after another, coins started falling from the pocket like a miracle. It would have become one if it wasn’t for their value, one I needed for my survival.

“Money! Alcohol!” With shouts of joy, the man’s hand penetrated the hole of my pants, grabbing the bag along with every coin that fell, getting up and running away to a different bar, leaving me crying scared on the floor in physical and emotional pain.

My right hand, which was still good as the left one, was numb from the brute force of the man. Along with both knees hurting, especially the one that broke before from the man’s weight along with the initial impact. I pulled my pants single-handedly the best I could while gritting my teeth, resisting the best possible to the pain, crawling further inside the dead-end alley, seeking shelter from the one who harmed me, believing he’d return to finish the job.

‘I must hide before he returns...’

Time went by, and my crying softened with it. After spending hours yelling for help, I remained silent, a decision to conserve my strength. Unfortunately, as I was since birth, abandoned, punished, and disgraced, the rain started pouring down heavily on my body, bringing coldness and wetness to the mixture of my tears who started those sensations.

With an audible weak voice from all the crying, I muttered for someone to rescue me. Day after day, I shouted in vain, eventually losing my voice. Accepting the coldness surrounding my body and the hunger that tarnished from deep within.

My heart became full of despair, giving up on being rescued and in a desperate and sorrowful way of life itself. By the fourth day, a fever joined the mixture of my symptoms and by the sixth, I fainted into a deep sleep.

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