Chapter 11: Chapter 11 – Meeting old Friends

An hour after completing the morning announcements and addressing a few less...prolific issues from my councilmen, I teleport to my underground armory to get appropriately equipped for my meeting with Triglav later in the day. 

Flame dragons of higher ranks usually hibernate for long stretches of time when evolving. 

I’m unsure how much stronger he’s grown since we last met so my weapon of choice is both harmless yet equally effective: item No. 5 from my collection of weaponized parasols. Although they look harmless, this beautiful creation is a byproduct of a rather unfortunate evolution choice I made in my earlier, less experienced years on the planet. At that time procuring enough food for my small settlement was becoming a very tedious task since I had other chores to complete and my children often got lost in the forest when sent to hunt without my supervision. 

To reduce the duration of my trips, on my third evolution I made the brain-dead decision to permanently weaponize my skin in a way that required less energy and time from me but inflicted a significant amount of damage to my prey of choice regardless of their position. 

I…essentially made myself impossible to gaze at during the day, since when under the sun my skin reacted with the rays and reflected a large quantity of aether into the eyes of anything in possession of a visual sensory organ. Following this action was an overwhelming amount of regret on my part as my kids were unfortunately also included in the bracket of ‘anything’ despite having unconventional eyes and the first batch to find me after the evolution became permanently blind as a consequence. 

The next few months after that decision a wave of vision loss overcame my settlement and I was soon forced to discover the wonderful concept of clothing for the mere convenience it brought to my mine and my people. 

My spawns after that event gained a thankfully much tamer version of this awful ability, merely being bright in the sunlight, not blinding.

I had hoped my later evolutions would rescind this double-edged sword but so far it has only increased the severity of its damage to the sensory organ, leaving me no choice but to drape myself in oversized sun hats and full coverage clothing to even go outdoors during the daytime.

On the bright side-Ha! that's a pun-my later evolutions did make my condition much easier to control, but it also required a degree of focus I’m simply unable to maintain at all times of the day, leaving it an inconvenient option only for moments of desperation.

It’s like I’m a vampire, but I burn the retinas of everyone else in sunlight.

So as an end to a means, a lot of my weapons when being forged are equipped with a degree of shading properties. 

I swing the adamantine parasol lightly on both hands, reacquainting myself with its heavy weight and ten-foot-long length. Amongst thousands of weapons in the armory, something about its pointed tip and sharp edges just…calls me. 

A bit of aether seeps into its shaft and the runes embroidered on its silver canopy light up in a pleasant shade of lilac. 

How lovely. 

==============

Ana wasn’t sure what to expect after receiving a notification that some cultists had summoned a dragon only to almost get eaten by the beast. 

Owlman was called by the area’s law enforcement officers at the ass crack of dawn, so he found it completely appropriate to inform Star Streak who lived three cities away. 

Star Streak, understandably upset at being made to fly so early since their portals were still being repaired, decided to call Solar girl who lived even further away from the scene than he did. Y’know, to show good sportsmanship.

Solargirl, firmly believing that this honor must be shared, kindly informed Anatomic Ana and Martian Mayhem to revel with her in joy. Since, wow! Who doesn’t love fighting dragons before sunrise?

Then Martian Mayhem, struggling with the heavy burden of being trusted so deeply, personally flew the one-hour distance to include the currently off-the-grid Sea Lad into their cult of suffering. 

Boy wonder was unfortunately on another continent and the nearest flight to Oooo leaves in six hours so he was currently out of reach.

Stuck wondering what to do with the furious dragon, Anatomic Ana had the bright idea to call Igetis Cyl, their beloved sponsor who was probably as fossilized as the dragon, and who knows? Maybe they'll know each other?

The bulk of Igetis Cyl’s parasol connects to Triglav’s head with a thunderous crack, sending him blasting through the forest around the clearing and into the ground in a blur of black. 

In a stroke of what was surely fate, they did know each other. 

Triglav emerges some seconds later from the hole, shooting towards Igetis Cyl with unprecedented glee and trading a fury of blows with this surprisingly flexible tail and claws. Sparks flow from each deflected attack as their movement steadily morphs into a blur of colors. 

They also, unfortunately, seem to really dislike each other.

“Should we…stop them?” Solar Girl questions, eyes trained on the form of Triglav failing to bite Igetis Cyl and getting head-butted back into the hole.

…That’s a really thick skull.

“Maybe?” Triglav releases a beam of fire, melting the trees around it but deflecting off Igetis Cyl’s floating, weird-looking umbrella. using it as a shield It shoots towards him, curling its body around his neck in a grip tight enough to cut off his vitriol of flame. 

They all look to Owlman who seemed content to just watch from the side, the exposed skin under his cowl a picture of placidity. 

“Don’t look at me,” He says cordially, reaching into his utility belt for his black flask, “I’m on med leave, remember? My kneecaps’ll take at least another week to heal.” 

“Fair enough.” Martian Mayhem shugs.

The loud sound of a thirty-foot-tall dragon free-falling from the sky turns their attention back to the battlefield as an increasingly blue-looking Triglav tries to dislodge Igetis Cyl from its weird boneless full body grip in a fierce battle against asphyxiation

People didn’t really care how professional heroes fared after stopping a villain attack. Ana sometimes saw vigilantes struggle to fight from a lack of proper self-care and a part of her wished they would be more selfish about their health, or less reckless with their lives. 

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Triglav begins flaying violently on the ground, creating numerous port holes in the terrain; but with every crash, Igetis Cyl’s coil over his neck becomes tighter and tighter, unsettlingly similar to a snake slowly suffocating its prey to death.

She cringes at the thought of being involved in whatever that was about. 

“C’mon Tracy,” Star Streak throws an arm around Solar girl’s shoulder, “Take one for the team.” He grins, subtly pushing her forward.

Seemingly left with no other choice, Triglav gives up struggling in defeat and Igetis Cyl loosens its grip.

“Nuh-uh.” Solar Girl throws his arm off, flying further away from them in a streak of yellow. “Not today.” 

She pats her blond hair, tucked into a tight, sensible bun since having long hair during a fight is just plain crazy. “I am not showing up to my date bald again. Lucas already thinks I’m weird enough,” And being a professional hero probably didn’t help.

They begin speaking but it’s in an old-sounding language Ana has never heard of, then their tone becomes steadily more heated like in an argument. Ana has never heard Igetis Cyl raise its voice before, it's kind of terrifying. Then Triglav starts screaming, turning into a hulking caricature of a man- what the fu-

Ana gestures at Martian Mayhem’s scrawny-looking body, “Well someone has to go, and it’s definitely not MM.” Then at the equally scrawny teammate on her left, “Or Sea Lad. I mean-just look at them!” She points to the battlefield, ”Then look at them!” 

From what could have been considered a high fantasy boss fight, the genre changes into a full-blown MMA wrestling match missing only the ring and a qualified referee as they both get really physical.

“My strength is internal-” Sea Lad beings, valiantly defending his besmirched honor. 

After a few rounds of grappling Triglav tries to fly up to gain an aerial advantage but is outmaneuvered and pulled back down in what can only be classified as a brain buster. The ground below them cracks from the force of his descent.

”And I just got my armor replaced!“

“Well, I went last time.” Tracy huffs, 

“Oh don’t even start about that-“ Star Streak throws his hands up in exasperation. Visibly upset at hearing the phrase. 

Igetis Cyl slams its face into Triglav's and uses his disorientation from the blow to raise him in a suplex.

They’ve all had ‘Don’t count' talk from Central multiple times. Apparently, keeping track of the number of times you risked your life for each other was not a heroic trait.  

Neither was tax evasion but they still did it, so she took that advice with a grain of salt.

The monsters begin grappling once more, Triglav attempting to use his superior width to his advantage and force Igetis Cyl into submission but getting caught in a brutal-looking guillotine choke instead.

Ana winces.

“You know,” Owlman sips from his flask, “You could all just, not go?” He says slowly, “I’m not sure why you’re all even bickering about it. If we wait long enough they’ll probably stop soon.”

They all pause, 

Seemingly tired of rolling around in the dirt, Igetis Cyl stands over the crumpled form of Triglav, somehow smiling and looking unruffled in its multiple layers of clothing; Its missing hat and tossed hair the only sign that it had even been in a fight.

See, Ana wasn’t a bad hero. 

It raises a foot at an angle impossible for anyone with a skeleton, the blue metal of its platform boot gleaming faintly in the morning sun, before stomping down with intent. 

But it was only 7 am and she had a whole day ahead of her. 

With the help of an absurd amount of luck and supernatural resilience, Triglav is barely able to remove his head from the range of attack but the ground around them raptures on impact and his body ceases all movement.  

Becoming disabled had not been part of her daily agender.

They all spend the minute watching Igetis Cyl curb stomp the head of the former dragon with absolutely no iota mercy in its action, deciding that the unconscious beast was sufficiently unconscious enough only when the blood and brain matter around his body suggested the same.

It couches down, ungloved hand digging through the pulpy remains of the skull with practiced movements before Owlman clears his throat and it turns to them with widened eyes, 

“I’m sorry,” It laughs, standing back up.“I forgot you were still here.” 

Ana struggles to smile back.

What the fuck did they hire?

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