Chapter 8: Chapter 8 – Miracles and Interviews

Miraculously, none of the individuals in the three other cars were harmed in the incident. 

Not even a single scratch.

One of the passengers even found himself cured of his chronic lung cancer after they were admitted to the hospital for a routine checkup under the doubts of the bystanders who witnessed the entire incident. 

Miraculously.

The First van slammed against ours while the car behind it swerved to avoid crashing into it but unfortunately hit the car next to it instead. The old man driving the second car was understandably spooked, patting his chest for relief while the two family families in the other vehicles huddled together for comfort. I would have expected that they would have started an altercation with me after they gained consciousness but they just accepted my apology.

 Since everyone emerged relatively unharmed, they were unfortunately unable to press charges against me on the grounds of personal injuries, so I offered to pay the bills for their vehicle replacement in exchange for having them sign an NDA.

While I busied myself explaining the situation to the first responder officer who was called to the scene, Shannon was unfortunately found to be under the influence of some very illegal…plants- of which she also had a very illegal amount hidden in her van. 

“She’s a drug dealer?!” Mthyl exclaims, looking up from her phone. On the screen, a picture of the specific plant and its effects on the mind had been pulled up.

“No.” I take her device, “She was merely a plant enthusiast of the very specific kind,”

“But they said she sold drugs.” She pouts, “I’m not dumb.”

“I’m sure that can be debated-“

“Igetis Cyl, don’t we have this in our-“ I spontaneously pull Zylm into a hug, interrupting his words.

“It’s a different plant.” And whoops, all of their phones just died. “They just have a very similar appearance.” And taste, and smell, and composition.

Haha.

I ignore the judgmental gaze of the social workers tasked with picking us up from the police office, opting to look at the captivating grey scenery outside our vehicle. 

I had hoped my first meeting with the hero organization would have occurred under very different circumstances. Maybe without the kids…or in the sun, or even in a nice office on a sunny day where we could all get the leisure to chat and really become more acquainted with each other.

Nevertheless, as the environment around us gets more and more deserted and our vehicle stops in front of a very shady-looking building… I plaster on my friendliest grin and fix a special hat on the last of the kids. 

My brief period spent in the police station did nothing to change my opinion on the general public safety of this city, especially in such a desolate location.

“And do we all remember the procedure for emergencies?”

“”Yes Igetis Cyl.””

“Great.” I close the car door, temporarily reinforcing it with aether. 

Just as an extra precaution.

================

 

“Why are we here again?” Starstreak asks in a whisper, sitting precariously on the edge of his plastic seat. These chairs were purposely made for discomfort and that was the belief he was going to hold till the day he died.

He looks to the rest of his team for answers but they merely shrug and gesture at the hulking frame of Owlman sitting before the large screen of their computer; surrounded on all sides by empty cups of coffee.

Now, Starstreak wouldn’t claim to know the man personally but… he looked more stressed than usual. 

“Sigh…”

A lot more stressed than usual. 

Starstreak slides down, burying his face in the disgusting cream rug of their secret base. 

“Dude…” He groans tiredly.”I thought we only gathered for emergencies?”

It was already eleven pm and he had a job in another city to return to in the morning. Carla was going to be furious at him for taking another unprompted ‘overtime’ at the ‘office’.

He batted away the energy bar Sea-lad threw at him from the other side of the room, choosing to remain hungry instead of trying another bite of his absolutely disgusting tuna bar. 

“We are gaining a new sponsor.” Owlman begins in a low voice, taping on the screen to bring up a familiar photo.

Starstreak was pretty sure the entire world at least had an idea who the person on screen was. You don’t get in a scandal almost every month for three months straight without having people know your face, especially when it's so unique.

“Cylestine 001, or as it seems to prefer- Igetis Cyl of Crlya.” He zooms in on the photo. Expanding the bright grin, iris-less eyes, and marble-like skin of the subject of interest. 

“We don’t know what it is, where it came from, or how it was made but we have records that it’s been here for thousands of years and possibly much longer.” He scrolls to another photo, this time of a lush flower valley extending into the distance beyond the screen. 

“I’m sure you’ve all heard of the valley to nowhere?“ 

Starstreak nods, sitting up to get a better look at the screen. He remembers being younger and getting enthralled by the stories of the valley to nowhere. Always blooming even in winter and extending to an unknown distance. Numerous tests and explorations into the valley ended with the drones walking back to their location months later in a perfect circle. It had been deemed one of the world’s plethora of mysteries.

“Well,” Owlman scrolls and the screen changes into what could only be described as a rich perfectionist's dream neighborhood, with pastel-colored mini mansions lining both sides of the streets and brightly smiling unique-looking individuals swinging on flower vines, picnicking or just looking incredibly happy to be sitting on their perfectly mowed lawns. 

“The valley did actually go somewhere. A fact the world only discovered three years ago when the subject of our meeting expressed interest in joining the world union with a country that had remained non-existent on any the world maps till that day.” He gestures limply, turning the chair to face them. 

“This photo of a suburban nightmare was taken by one of the inspectors on their short trip to the country of Crlya. A perfectly normal day, he had said on his record afterward. They all looked like this at every moment of the day.” At that he rests his back on his seat, palming his forehead.

“I’m sure you might have also-“

“What’s the point of all of this?” Solargirl interrupts, Crossing her hands over her chest. An action that broadened her shoulders but also, unfortunately, emphasized the rather impressive size of her-Starstreak abruptly slams his head into the oval table, gaining the attention of the five others present at the meeting.

He was in a relationship with a wonderful woman who accepted him despite his numerous faults, and his sleep-deprived horny brain would not make him ruin the only good long-term relationship he’s ever had.

“As I was saying before getting interrupted by Solargirl and Startstreak’s attempt at brain damage- we are having this conversation because Igetis Cyl is our new sponsor.” He concludes.

“What?!” Boy wonder sits up abruptly from his seat; his entire six-foot, muscled frame adulating Starstreak’s younger self’s hindsight to not name himself Starboy during his first debut. 

Owlman heaves a heavy sigh filled with so much disappointment that Boy wonder’s expression turns a bit abashed,  “Sorry.” He grins awkwardly, sitting back down.

“Do not be shy! Boy wonder,” Martian Mayhem encourages from his side with unneeded levels of enthusiasm, green skin washed out under the harsh lights of their base, “Tell us what wonderful thoughts have formed on the meat in your skull,” 

Starstreak feels his face grimace under his mask, an action mirrored by his fellow teammates.

“MM I thought we talk about-“ Solar girl begins.

“Why do you keep saying shit like that-“ 

“Quiet.” Owlman says from the side, resting his head on his palm, “Boy wonder…take the podium, and Martian Mayhem please, just…” How he manages to look disappointed despite the mask is still a mystery, “Stop saying gross things, I think we already get enough of it from villains.”

Boy wonder perks up at his name, flying to the black podium at the front of the room with unshared levels of glee.

“Okay,” He begins, voice akin to gossiping, “So I’ve been hearing a bunch of news about this guy-”

“Like the rest of the world-” Anatomic Anna groans, sitting upside down in her chair.

“And apparently it’s like really evil.”

“Okay,” Owl man intones from the side, taking a sip from his black flask.

Star Streak wonders what’s actually in there. Common sense says it's alcohol but knowing owl man it's probably some disgusting blend to ‘raise his vitamins’ or some other useless shit.

“Go on.”

“Well…” Wonderboy scratches his head, “I heard it mind controls its citizens, and keeps them drugged from birth.”

“Un-huh.” He takes another sip.

Anatomic Ana pups her gum loudly.

“I heard it killed a lot of people in the past and…” He pauses, taking in the unmoved expression of his other teammates.

Startstreak wouldn’t blame him, boredom was a tough response to deal with from an audience.

“Look, Wonderboy.” The metal of Owlman’s flask clinks against the glass of their large oval desk. “I understand your transfer from central has been…a tough adjustment but, Ooo is a little less uh- morally uptight as central. If you get my drift?”

“What?”

“God,” Starstreak pushes his hair away from his face.“He means we don’t give a fuck, dude.” 

“What?!” 

Anatomic Ana twirls her chair, blond hair moping up the dirt from the rug. “The alien has money, we definitely need more money. The alien offers to pay us money? we take the money. Understand?”

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“I mean- yeah! But don't you care that it's clearly evil? I mean just look t that face!”He points agitatedly at the screen, now showing a fast-forwarded view of Igetis Cyl attending an interview but soundless. Throughout the entire process, you can see the interviewer get increasingly more uncomfortable as the smile on Igetis Cyl’s face remains at the exact same angle no matter what question was being asked, like a mask.

Unhelpfully, his brain provides that it also sat completely still the entire interview, moving only with purpose or to emphasize a certain word when speaking.

“I guess it does look a bit…creepy.” Owlman agrees.

“I know!” 

“But take a look at Sea-Lad-”

“Hey!” Sea-lad raises his head from the aquarium, offended.

“I’m not sure we can really judge based on looks.” 

“But-”

“And we really can’t afford to judge based on looks.” He waves at the tired-looking heroes littered around different corners of the room. “Anatomic Anna hasn't been able to fix her armor for two months now, Stars-streak’s been out stuck flying two hours every day to get home since the teleporter to Vanpor broke half a year ago, Sea-Lad has basically been out of the mission loop for half a year now after his device broke in a fight, Martian mayhem is stuck on earth till further notice since his spaceship was used as the method of transportation when Lady Luna tried to steal the moon last year, and our bases have been steadily declining quality and quantity over the last few years due to our lack of funds to pay our bills.”

“For the past ten years I’ve been steadily filling the gaps in our finances but it's becoming a danger to my secret identity. I cannot move so much money without raising any more suspicion than I already did, and every meeting with central so far has just been empty promises piled upon empty promises. Our continent has such a bad rep that no one with common sense would ever invest money into our branch knowing that they’ll make nothing in return. This is our one chance to get a private sponsor for our activities else we risk shutting down.” 

 He sweeps his gaze over the room, “ I don’t care what you feel about Celestine 001 but when we go out there for the interview, I expect you all to be completely professional about his entire debacle. Understood?” He asks, staring directly at Wonder Boy who looks vaguely uncomfortable to be placed under his focus.

Starstreak feels his brows raise under his domino mask. This was interesting.

He had never seen Owlman get so agitated about anything before, and he fights the mentally deranged for a living.

They must really need more funds.

====================

 

Backing up his claim twenty minutes later, Start Streak concludes that they must really, really need more funds to interview such a sponsor.

As the hulking frame of the Igetis Cyl comes into view, Start Streak reminds himself that it was not a villain, no matter how much it looked like one. And that the uncomfortable feeling under its skin was merely his powers reacting to stress, not fear.

The shimmery fabric of its intricate blue gown glides against the concrete floor seemingly separated by an invisible barrier. Every inch of its skin is covered by the fabric, accessorized by an excessive amount of jewelry hanging off its neck, ears, horns, arms, and even on the ridiculous hat on its head.

As the being moved closer Star streak feels the pulse beneath his skin quicken with Adrenalin. Threat. Threat. Threat. 

“It is wonderful to meet you all.” It says in a formal tone, voice an odd mix of soothing yet persuasive. 

Owlman reaches to shake its gloved hand, giving a small smile at the creature’s wide grin.

“The pleasure is all ours.” He gestures at the simple seating arrangements on the side, chairs obviously made to hold the weight of average-sized humans, not eight-foot-tall aliens of mystery weight.

The cameras made it seem shorter than it was in reality, a lot much shorter.

“Would you like some refreshments?” 

Martian Mayhem emerges from their small kitchenette, a large tray of snacks In his arms. Star Streak didn’t Remember there being anything of the sort available when he last checked the kitchen. In most of their bases, the kitchen was a waste of space that was never stocked with anything edible, and never of use to anyone on the team. 

Were they hiding the snacks?

Martian Mayer offers the tray to Igetis Cyl and Startstreak expects it to decline politely, however, it seems pleased to be offered food and takes it.

A minute-long silence befalls them as they awkwardly sit on the chairs, watching Igetis Cyl clean off the entire tray.

“Should we…order some food?” Owlman asks, his tone giving Start Streak a whiplash harsh enough to throw him an incredulous look.

In the five years they had worked together, Star Streak had never seen Owlman so polite. Not even to the higher-ups at Central and he works for them.

“You wouldn’t mind?” The being seems genuinely surprised.

“Of course not.” Owl man nods. “I understand you’ve had a rough day.”

“Yes!” It exclaims in a suddenly passionate tone. ”She seemed so lovely over the phone, I had no idea she was a plant enthusiast.”

Starstreak tilts his head in confusion. What did that mean? 

“Indeed,” Owlman says, expression underneath his black domino mask twisted in mock sympathy. 

What.

“It’s always the least expected.” He says. “Who knew hiring random strangers off the internet could be so dangerous?”

 Igetis Cyl laughs.

Startstreak can’t tell what the joke is. He looks over to Anatomic Ana with his brows raised in question but finds her mirroring his expression. 

Great. He’s not the only one confused. 

“I haven’t had the chance to check our newsfeed yet-so,” Star Streak drums his fingers against the wooden table, “Mind catching us up?”

“Oh, I’m sorry-“ Igetis Cyl turns, big white eyes lasering its focus on him. Creepy. “I had some troubles with our vehicle on my way from the airport.” It says, tone light and amicable.

“It broke down?” Anatomic Ana questions, “That is unfortunate-“

“No no,” It waves, “We almost got run over by a truck. It was awful, haha.”

“Oh.”

That was completely different from what Startstreak imagined when it said vehicle problems.

“Our driver was unfortunately found under the influence of some very illegal substances-“

“What do you mean-“ Boy wonder begins incredulously.

“But it all worked out fine in the end.” 

Star streak was pretty sure it just admitted to a crime. He wasn’t sure what crime it was but it something about its words just feels vaguely illegal-

He’s broken out of his musings when Igetis Cyl proceeds to pull out an entire box of what looks like pizza from thin air. 

“May I use your kitchen?” It asks abruptly. “My kids are in the car and they’ve had nothing to eat all day.” 

“Um,” Solar girl turns to Owlman, who nods in agreement. “Sure?”

“Great!” 

The table suddenly gains weight as boxes of different types piles on top of each other. 

“I had plans to drop them off at school and then attend our interview at three.” It says, gliding off to the kitchenette in a completely familiar manner. 

Starstreak meets the incredulous gaze of Anatomic Ana. 

How do you respond to professionally your potential sponsor who seems to not know common social etiquette?

He sees Owlman rise to follow along. 

“Did they miss it?”

“Yes,” A sigh, “Your justice system is very ineffective. Earlier in the day, I was held hostage by a seafood furry at the bank.”

Okay, this conversation had officially turned fucking weird. 

“I see.” Owlman, the champ who sold his soul for better equipment powers on, “Was anyone harmed?” 

“I’m not sure.” Igetis Cyl admits, throwing the item from one of the boxes into the microwave and setting it at thirty seconds. “I left when he got distracted yelling at the cashier. He seemed awfully upset at being told to calm down, and even refused my offer to pay a ransom.”

“Why didn’t you just…beat him up.” Wonder boy questions. 

Igetis Cyl laughs, voice deceptively pleasant.“Then he’ll die, humans are very fragile.”

It turns to them, still somehow smiling.

“Why don’t we start the interview?”

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