First, being caught in a situation where he couldn't even contact the people he wanted and had to think thrice before acting.
Second, spending so much time and effort only to realize he didn't get a single clue of what Sia went through in the academy.
Third, he hated that fog blocking his memory. He felt its presence in the back of his mind. It was subtle but absolutely unbearable.
These three pushed him into a state of rage and he finally broke out.
Varian never thought he'd feel this, but he was actually happy that Narcis died. He imagined the pain Julius would go through…if that monster felt any pain.
"Hahaha! Julius, you deserve it!" He laughed, praising the karma.
But after laughter came fear.
'If they try to kill Sia like they tried to kill me, would she be safe?
Would Enigma put her life on the line for Sia?'
The moment this thought was born, it spread like a wildfire.
Varian realized that even if Sia was really in danger, there was nothing he could do.
Given their state of the relationship, he couldn't convince her.
He was helpless and he absolutely loathed this feeling.
He lived with it for an entire year after Amanda's death, and after he awakened, he swore to himself that he would never be helpless again.
Despite the obstacles he encountered, he kept moving because he believed everything would be fine.
But now…if by the time he grew stronger, what if something happened to Sia or Sarah?
His thoughts grew erratic and Varian slaughtered his way through the dungeons.
The dungeons he visited all had beasts in Body path. So he was immersed in close combat.
He fought till he was exhausted. Rested in the ghost ship. Ignored Boo's words. And fought again until exhausted.
He lost the number of creatures he killed. Ten, twenty, thirty, fifty, hundred…
His rage was already numbed and his rage went from searing hot to deathly cold.
Finally, he stopped.
After 48 hours of the mad killing, Varian loosened his fists.
He sat on the top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere and looked around.
The plains that used to be light yellow were now dyed by the blood of different colors, painting a poignant scene.
On the beautiful plains were corpses littered all over. Not a single corpse was complete.
"Just what did I do...?" Varian questioned himself as meanwhile the sensations of his body returned and he finally started taking in what he had just done.
His body was long covered in the blood of the creatures. Red, green, blue…they all mixed onto him.
It might have looked like he was cosplaying, but the intense killing intent he emitted negated any such thought from popping up.
It was scary enough to directly kill a normal person. Level 1s would find it hard to even move under his killing intent.
Even enemies of his same level would feel the pressure should he release it.
After all, his killing intent was built on the deaths of countless low-level 6s, and even mid-level 6s.
'I do owe them one.'
"Haa~" Varian exhaled deeply and the next moment, he was already in ghost ship and started showering.
The cold water washed away the reeking blood and his rage. With each passing second, Varian's mind cooled a bit more.
Finally, he set apart his emotions and started to think.
"My three main concerns.
Clear up my memory so that I can meet Sia.
Don't get Sarah into trouble because of me.
Grow stronger and kill those two bastards." He said out loud and after a while, deeply sighed.
"It all comes to strength, eh." A wry smile formed on his face.
He was getting used to things going his way so far and this sudden change took him by surprise.
Varian wasn't pleased and before he knew it, various factors pushed him into a fit of rage.
"Master~" Boo's voice sounded.
"I'm bathing, dammit," Varian said and got into the bathtub. "Leave me alone."
"Phew~ you're finally back to normal." Boo sighed in relief.
"…" Varian's mouth twitched.
An awkward silence filled the room except for the water sounds.
"What instructions did I give?" Varian finally asked. He clearly remembered nothing. It was like being drunk and forgetting everything you said or did.
Boo's embarrassed voice sounded. "Just before you went insan..craz…angry, you asked me not to follow any of your important decisions until you got normal."
"Oh." Varian nodded in approval. As expected of himself. Though he didn't remember saying that, taking credit for his own work wasn't a problem, right?
"After you flew into range, you gave five hundred orders in total. Two hundred were to try killing everyone in the Xander family.
Two hundred were to kill or kidnap everyone related to Kreo Bell. You also spoke of a few plans to torture Xavier Bell in front of him.
And one hundred were asking to investigate Sia and Sarah. They also included times when you wanted to inform everyone that you're alive."
"My past is an idiot." Varian immediately separated himself and threw his past self under the dust.
"Yes, master. You gave 500 orders in 2 days, right!"
"Did you do anything?" Varian asked in anxiety.
"Nope. Now I can. Would like me to?"
"Nope." Varian hurriedly said.
"Then where are we going now?"
"Enigma's place," Varian answered after serious thought. He opened a spare comm and sent a message to Enigma.
"…?!" Boo was taken aback. But it didn't object and nodded. "Good."
After he 'met' Sia, he had a talk with Enigma and she eventually gave him her contact.
He didn't think it'd be useful.
{I need to speak to you.
Dreamer.}
He thought he'd need a few hours to wait, but it was quickly answered.
{I just attended your funeral. Are you coming back from the dead?
Three hours. I'm hunting some bugs. We'll meet in Old Place.}
The ghost ship took off and dashed towards the Secret Realm.
'Once I meet with Enigma, then I can meet up with Sarah…' Varian sighed.
After thinking things through, he realized Sarah wasn't in any great danger.. It was actually Sia.