But I didn't tell my parents. I'd dreaded the conversation as it drew nearer and nearer, as I finished my last class and rode the bus home. When I'd walked through the front door however, my mom noticed the mask, I sprung to my excuse of feeling slightly sick, and she let me stay upstairs, bringing me my dinner.
It had been a huge relief - but ultimately it only led to me procrastinating the day of reckoning. I could've gotten away with saying that I didn't want to go to school, but the next morning I'd felt like perhaps my nose looked a bit more normal. I didn't feel like panting either - as much.
Now later in the day, in my fitness class, going to school was starting to seem like a poor idea.
"I don't think you should play basketball with a mask on man," Douglas said.
"No, I'm fine. I'm feeling better, I just don't want to cough in someone's face as I play defense."
"Okay," Douglas shrugged.
Really, I just knew that if I sat in the bleachers during class, I would be left alone. Left to think. To stew on my concerns, my anxiety. If this was caused by stress - unlikely, but all I had to go on - being alone with no distractions was the last thing I needed. Sitting in my last few periods had also been feeling uncomfortable for some reason. I'd had an odd nerve pain at the end of my spine. The sensation was not extremely painful, but it felt... pent up somehow, like I really needed to sneeze but couldn't release.
I got up and joined Douglas in one of the basketball courts, adjusting my sport shorts. The odd feeling persisted. It did not make me feel any less on edge considering everything else that was going on.
Getting into a game of basketball felt good. My mind was focused only on playing, only on being the craziest defender I possibly could. Douglas was one of the ones that could really play the game though. He was the one who could score shots from halfway across the court sometimes. We didn't let up for a second, the two of us working strategically with each other - me dashing to the ball at a crazy speed, freaking out the person with the ball. Another person would come up from behind and snatch the ball, then pass it to Douglas who'd score.
Eventually, heart pounding after a solid victory, we were able to all line up to the drinking fountain inside the boy's locker room. I was desperately thirsty, but I needed to hang back. I wasn't risking anyone seeing my nose - or a probable bout of panting. Soon everyone was gone out the door, leaving me and Douglas.
"You go ahead dude," Douglas breathed heavily, "you earned it."
"No," I said beneath my mask, feeling my tongue yearning to slip out, "you go first."
He waved his hand dismissively. "Nah, I'm not worried about any of your germs."
"No I'm good man you go first."
Douglas stood there silently.
"What?" I asked, feeling my muscles grow tense.
"Dude there's something up with you I know it."
"What are you talking about? I'm just feeling a little bit sick."
"Sick enough to not want to use the drinking fountain, but not sick enough to sit out on a game? You aren't sick dude, I saw you out there."
I felt the sweating beading not just on my forehead, but everywhere. Gosh I wanted to pant so bad!
"There's nothing wrong Douglas, you're the one that's acting weird if anything."
He continued to stare. I turned towards the drinking fountain, and pulled down my mask, getting that blessed drink of water at last. I also finally wet my nose too. Ahh it felt so good, I just... I needed to -
I couldn't hold it any longer, and panted.
"What.... the....."
"Don't freak out, don't freak out," I said between the panting.
"Matt, you are panting like a dog - and you have a black dog nose! You need to call the emergency room, or your mom -"
"I'm not," - panting, - "calling my mom. We're going to both just settle down, and go back outside -"
Douglas shook his head in disbelief. "Dude... this is like... I don't even know. This is some messed up horror movie stuff."
I finally began to get the panting more under control. "This is bad, and I know that. I'm not dumb, but this is not a horror movie. You're just -"
"This definitely is a horror movie Matt! You know why? You are being the dumb idiot who's going to fall prey to something awful, all because you were too stupid and proud to ask for help. C'mon, you're going to call your mom."
He grabbed tightly onto my arm and started pulling me towards our lockers.
"No," I said, "I'm not... I... I can't."
"Dude this is freaky and embarrassing but are you seriously just going to let it get worse?"
I stood there silently, head bowed. I licked my nose.
The door opened and we both flinched. Thankfully I was turned away from the door.
"Um, guys?" a boy whose name I couldn't remember said, "you gonna join the game or what?"
"Just a moment Aidan," Douglas said, "I need to finish talking to Matt about something."
Aidan left, and Douglas planted his hands firmly on my shoulders, gripping hard.
"Matt, you are acting delusional. If you don't call your mom right now, I'm going to tell Coach Caldwell that you have an emergency and that we need to go to the main office."
I breathed slowly, trying not to embarrass myself again in front of him by panting.
"Just... just after we do one more game alright?"
Douglas maintained his firm disapproving look.
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"I just... I just don't want to have to face the music yet... I want... I just wanted to play some basketball for a bit, and take my mind of all this."
"You promise you're going to call your mom right after?"
I looked down at my shoes, breathing slowly through my changed, bizarre nose.
"Matt."
"Okay."
We started walking towards the door.
"You have to promise not to tell anyone though," I pointed accusingly at him.
"I'm not going to do that," he said. "Besides, I feel like everyone was already wondering what was going on with you at lunch."
"Well then don't tell Jackie about all this at lunch tomorrow," I said.
"Alright, let's go."
I pulled up my mask and walked out the door.
"Do you know why Jackie was gone today?" I asked.
"No, I don't. Let's get moving."
I swallowed. I had to get out of this somehow. I didn't want to face this. It was impossible though. When Douglas set his mind on something, barring anything physics breaking, that thing usually happened.
The fear was still very real, but as I got into the game, and just focused on what I was good at - playing defense like a rabid beast - I was able to get my mind off of it all. For all my energy, sports weren't something I was very passionate about, to the chagrin of my sister, who did love sports, and was mad at me for "stealing" the talent first. It was however a great distraction.
I jumped around like mad, sprinting from one end of the court to the other. I seemed to be causing the person on the other team to feel unnerved, that for some reason the same person kept bothering them the instant they got the ball. I may not have loved sports - but I did enjoy being a creature of torment.
Finally, I was starting to have a good time again, and just focused on playing. I got up close to someone to block them from passing the ball. I shifted back and forth on my feet.
Wait. Something was off. My shorts felt uncomfortable all of the sudden, they weren't quite sitting right on me.
I lagged a bit behind the pack as the ball traveled across the court. While the others were away from me, I reached down the back of my shorts, and felt for the bunched up fabric that was making everything feel weird. No... it wasn't bunched up fabric. There was some weird lump right at the tip of my tailbone.
"Hey Matt!" one of my teammates shouted. He passed the ball to me, and by some miracle, I caught it.
I thought back to our game a few days ago, where I'd gotten hold of the ball. I had stood still, filled with indecision, and had messed everything up. This time however, I messed it up in a different way. I immediately tried to go for a basket, but it was a pitiful attempt, and was easily caught by someone from the other team.
I gave chase, running from the other side of the court. I started feeling tired and hot. More than hot. That urge came again. The urge to pant. I allowed myself a few seconds of it as I ran behind the group, and licked my nose. I caught up to everyone, and pinned myself on the person with the ball. I jumped high, and would've kept jumping and blocking him, except...
The weird discomfort from the lump on my tailbone... it felt... no. Stop. Focus on the game. I kept running to the person with the ball. But again, as I shifted back and forth on my feet, my body moving from side to side... the thing back there... it was growing...
I felt my spine cracking as it happened. I winced at the pain. And as I moved back and forth... it almost felt... like... like the thing was moving back and forth too. Like it was moving independently.
This had to end. I couldn't ignore all this anymore. I had to get out of there.
I ran off the court, feeling my spine cracking and growing more and more, and I ran into the locker rooms. I didn't stop to think. All that was on my mind was that something down there was still growing, getting longer and longer, a soft material brushing against my shorts. I sprinted past the lockers and threw open a bathroom stall, swinging the door back and throwing the bolt.
I briefly panted, but then gritted my teeth as I felt another crack. I heard the locker room door open, and the sound of Douglas's shoes against the tile floor.
"Matt! What's going on? Matt!"
I panted slowly and softly as I felt the growth become slower for a moment.
"Matt, please, open the door, we need to call your mom now, if this is life threatening we don't have time to waste!"
I let out a grunt, bracing myself against the stall door. My body had started to feel feverish. My shaking fingers struggled to grasp the bolt, and I opened the door.
And I felt that growth finally spring out of my shorts.
Douglas's eyes shot wide.
"Holy shit..."
I remained silent, slowly turning my head...
Growing from my bottom was a furry tail. Like a dog's.
I suddenly felt more alone, more lost, and more embarrassed than I ever had in my life. Casting salt into this horrible, vulnerable moment, the thing moved involuntarily, curling downward, between my legs. Like I was an ashamed dog.
Totally freaking out now, and hyperventilating, I was completely unable to stop myself from panting. As I stared at the tail, I watched it continue to grow slowly, wincing as another bone cracked. It was almost half a foot long.
"No no no," I said, finally remembering to lower my voice, hiding my mutation behind my back in case anyone came through the door. I can't... I couldn't be....
I stopped the thought. Potential humiliation aside, there was only one thing that I could think about doing now.
I ran to my locker, and got out my phone.
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