Chapter 47: Chapter 46

Jackie couldn't think as she sat in the car. All she was capable of was crying. Her tears streamed down the fur on her cheeks, falling from her face as the car bumped along the road. The drops were large enough that she felt she could hear them as they hit the bottom of her jacket. She'd been certain as soon as she saw Seth, as soon as she'd heard him speak, that he had been untrustworthy. Turns out her fixation on watching him like a hawk had ultimately led them to lose him.

Of course Seth had been smart enough to misdirect anyone who attempted to follow. Of course he would've used deepfaking to make body doubles of him and Lucas. Now Seth had Lucas, and Matt and Ashley. They were long gone. Seth had gotten everything he wanted.

And now Jackie was alone. She felt that darkness drawing back in her, that hopelessness. It was the same twisted up knot of depression and anxiety that had crippled her before she'd come to love Matt.

She cried harder. Matt.

Ever since she was a child, she'd known Matt Hewitt down the street. He was just another kid in the neighborhood, who liked playing cowboy, and being a small bit of a menace. She hadn't been friends with him, not until high school when she'd come into his friend group more - and even then she had viewed him as immature, self-centered...

But he had changed. Going through this crisis she'd realized just how much there was to him... and how little there was to herself. She shook. Matt would say that wasn't true at all. She wished that she could believe the lies that he told her.

A deep chill ran through her. No, Matt was right. She was far too hard on herself, and she was only eighteen. Most people her age weren't out doing things that shook the Earth, and that didn't make her any lesser.

Jackie had started to feel more confident in herself because of Matt. She had stopped being ashamed that she was a furry. She'd started actually being honest, and showing others that she liked being canis. Despite how weird she knew she was, Matt had loved her anyway. WIth him, Jackie had started feeling like maybe there was hope in her future. She'd started looking forward to her new self.

She'd started looking forward to life. Life with Matt. Having a family... even if those kids had floppy ears and little tails.

That was gone now. She would never find someone who cared about her like Matt. She'd only been able to open up to him out of the sheer crushing hopelessness that had been hitting her at all sides. She... she had seen who he truly was then. When despite all her fears to the contrary, she opened her heart, and rather than crushing it... he had comforted it. He had comforted all the hearts he could.

Then the universe took him away. Whether it was the random cruelty of an uncaring world, or punishment from some vengeful God, Jackie just felt like she couldn't take this horror she was living with. Her mind just couldn't process that somehow, Seth had won.

Everyone in the car was silent as they drove. She did not know where they were driving to. Probably back to the Lucas's work.

In the silence... those scornful voices of her past filled the void. Those anxious voices that her time with Matt had stamped out... or so she thought. Her inner demons were still there. She had let herself believe that people could love her - the actual, bizarre, and weak person she was deep down.

But then... then a different inner voice came. She imagined Matt sitting right beside her.

Not that Matt who had complained about something during group activities, not that Matt that had seemed to her like a child... not human Matt. Dog Matt, with his blanket-like fur and warm brown eyes.

She imagined him next to her... holding her. Letting her know that it was going to be alright. She knew that if he was here, he would say that. What else would he say? - she thought.

Probably that she was stronger than this... that she had the will to overcome these fears. She would insist he was wrong. He wouldn't argue with her... he'd simply hold her tight, and then repeat the same... yes you can.

She paused in her sobbing, and wiped her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Meagan asked in her lull of crying.

"No," Jackie wheezed. "But... but maybe I'll be able to be okay... maybe someday."

The car jerked forward slightly to a stop. Everyone got out to the sound of crunching gravel. Meagan needed to pull on Jackie's coat a bit to encourage her to move. Jackie slowly, achingly, got out of the car. She blinked the tears away. They... they were not in the city anymore. They were out on some mountainside, on the edge of some woods. The sun was low in the sky.

"That day," Meagan said after they closed the car door, "is today."

"What?" Jackie asked, her eyes becoming clearer.

The other car in their operation was parked a little bit up the road from them. Clive and Tessa were talking about something next to the car's opened trunk. Clive noticed them as Jackie and Meagan walked closer. He looked at Jackie's teary eyes with confusion.

"What's her problem?" he asked.

"Damn it Clive," Meagan said with a bit of a bark. "For all your smarts about this operation, you sure don't know basic people skills. You used this poor girl and didn't even think that it would have an effect on her."

"Whhaa... what?" Jackie sniffled.

"They bugged you," Meagan said. "We don't know how, probably someone in the cafe did it covertly, but we knew that they'd get one of us. I pulled the bug off when you were getting out of the car, and now we've got our own little replacement in there playing a fake generated conversation, just in case."

"Why didn't you tell me I was bugged??" Jackie exclaimed in a strained, but hushed tone.

"Because if Seth thought we were on to him," Clive looked at his watch's screen, "he never would've gone back to his base of operations. I hate to be rude... again, but you don't strike me as a very good actor Jackie. And since Seth knows who we all are, I needed a real reaction out of you - the kind that'd satisfy Seth that we were off his trail."

"You're a jackass," Jackie spat at him. She grabbed a tuft of fur on her arm, squeezing it tightly.

 "...but thank you for having a plan."

"You can chew me out later," Clive said. "Right now we've got a job to do."

*****

Ashley and I ran through hallway after hallway, while my mind reeled from watching Melina's horrific transformation. Running like this was taking some getting used to. I wasn't used to running on all fours, and the linoleum didn't give very good traction.

I kept trying to wrap my brain around what had just happened to Melina, and what could've caused such an awful difference. I knew that being exposed to DNA with the virus active in it would lead to contracting it yourself - but that was supposed to take a while to actually cause changes, a week at least.

This had not only been fast, but looked painful. What had Seth being doing to us? Trying to push the virus to its absolute limit? 

At the same time I was at a loss with what had happened, Ashley and I were at a loss with where to go. There were signs giving directions to different classrooms on the walls - but they were just barely too high to be difficult to read - add on to that they were old and faded, plus my brain was having a harder and harder time processing the information.

I gathered at least, that this seemed like some old remote building for a university, originally for some sort of field work - but now Seth had gotten hold of it, maybe using lab equipment here for his illegal activities.

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Part of the problem I was having is that I wasn't sure exactly what I was even looking for. DId I want to find Seth and give him a bite the same we'd done to Melina? Maybe if I wanted to get shot. Did we just want to escape the building? Then what? For all intents and purposes, to anyone outside, we looked like any dog. Maybe with some luck we could try and communicate we were intelligent - but how on Earth would we find our parents?
 
Eventually I got tired of this endless maze, and knew that we weren't getting anywhere. I took a moment to stop, and when Ashley realized I wasn't following, she skidded on the floor for a moment as though she were on ice. It would've been funny - if we hadn't been horribly deformed by a mad scientist, and were now trying to escape.

Ashley ran back up to me. She panted. I stamped my paw twice. She looked at me with confusion. Oh no. My eyes became wide, and I stamped again, with more intention. Ashley shook her head and then stamped her paw likewise.

My anxiety was probably evident in my eyes. I was afraid that I had lost her. We were slipping... I could feel it. I only hoped that if we could escape, and get back to Dad, that maybe, he could try something crazy to get our minds to hold on... I felt a lingering sense of fear, that if our minds slipped from us, there might be no bringing them back.

I barked at Ashley, hoping she understood that I wanted a moment to think. I sat on my haunches, but she stayed alert, scanning the surrounding hallways branching off of the larger main hallway we were in.

To our right was a set of stairs. We'd already been upstairs. We knew that... that... gosh where had we already been through? I tried to form a mental image in my mind... but something that would've been relatively easy for me in the past... I just couldn't do it. I felt tired. Really tired. I just wanted to lie down for a bit. I wanted someone to scratch an itch on my belly...

I was shocked out of my trance. A door being slammed open in the distance. Oow! I scrunched my ears against my head. It had been so loud! I wanted to hide.

Why did I want to hide? I asked myself. Seth. I didn't like Seth. Seth was mean to us. Ashley ran towards the sound. I didn't like the sound, but I followed her anyway.

And then someone stepped through the door. Someone that I knew.

****

Clive abruptly stopped after going through the door, his gun held cautiously in front of him.

"What in the..."

Jackie pushed past him to see what he was looking at. She froze.

Two dogs, golden retrievers. One was a bit smaller than the other. They stared back at the group.

"No...," Jackie shook her head, "no it... it can't be...."

She ran up to the dogs as the others told her to stop. She ran to the larger dog, it smiled and barked at her, licking her face. She reached for the collar around the dog's neck, where there was a tag. A tag that said "Matt."

To say that Jackie's blood ran cold didn't do it justice. It froze solid. She... she ceased to feel anything. It wasn't until the others ran up to the dogs, and had the same realization, that she finally started to process what had happened.

My boyfriend has turned into a dog. He... he is no longer human.

Jackie's numbness suddenly turned to frenzied alertness, every hair of fur on her seeming to stand up. She grabbed the fur on the dog's neck, looking deep into the dog's eyes. Canine eyes... though still with warm brown irises.

"Matt...," Jackie began to sob. "Is... is that you?"

The dog's expression changed from one of joy, to one of stoicism - an odd look for a dog. The dog nodded, in a very deliberate, intelligent way.

Jackie hugged Matt's neck, while squeezing her crying eyes shut. She felt nothing, barely hearing Clive behind her, swearing to send Seth to hell for this.

A minute or two passed of Jackie and Meagan simply hugging Matt and Ashley. Jackie just couldn't believe this was happening... she couldn't believe Seth was capable of something so evil. He had stolen their humanity.

But no. Jackie could still see into Matt's eyes. She could still see that he was a thinking person in there, in his mind. He was still human to her.

"This is awful, and I can barely... gosh, I can barely wrap my head around it," Clive said, "but we can't afford to wait around. We need to get Lucas and then get out of this wretched place."

****

I ran behind Clive, and beside Jackie as we made our way through the building. It filled me with anxiety that we were going back deeper into this place... but we needed to find my dad.

Jackie glanced to me as we searched the building. I looked back at her longingly. I wished that I could tell her that I was alright. That it wasn't so bad. But I couldn't. I couldn't say anything to her. I might never be able to truly speak to her again.

And so all I could do was wonder what she was thinking. Her boyfriend was now a dog. He had transformed into an animal. That kind of thing... it didn't happen, except in stories. It wasn't something people were mentally able to process.

What I was sure of... was that if this was to be my fate, having the mind of a human but the body of a dog forever... it was over between Jackie and I. It wasn't like I could be her boyfriend, when I was no longer a boy, but a dog. A horrific image of the future struck me, as I realized that she might take care of me... like a pet.

Would that be my life? Was I going to lay around a house, only going out into the world to go on a walk, or to a dog park... smelling the other dogs... maybe finding a treat in the trash or playing fetch...

No. I was letting my mind slip again. I needed to focus on Jackie. I was going to find a way back to being my normal self again - or at least, my canis self. Then... no. I didn't know if that was possible. Thus far, we'd only seen that it was possible to change in this direction - but back to human, we were far less certain.

I was then hit with a different kind of horror. If I was stuck this way... how would Jackie respond? A scenario flashed in my mind - of Jackie choosing to give up her humanity, and becoming a dog. I timidly let in those thoughts. My parents taking care of me as their pet. Her mom doing the same for her. We'd play together, chasing each other. 

No. That was no life for her. I had already been condemned to this. If I was able to communicate at all with her, I would make it perfectly clear that she wasn't to choose that path. She had a life to live, and while she could live it as a canis person, she would lose so much in becoming a dog.

I just felt so... so defeated. Despite running beside her, i felt more separate from her than I ever had. Even if I could just wanted to talk to her again... I had taken it all for granted. I wanted to hold her in my arms. I wanted to be able to comfort her when she was sad.

Soon focusing on those thoughts helped me calm. Those intruding canine instincts that barraged my attention... they were not what I really wanted. What I really wanted in life was not the fun of playing fetch, the pleasure of just lounging around as a pet. I didn't even want the passion of some human romances.

I wanted the warmth I had felt with Jackie. The feeling that when we were together, we could stand against the world.

And I held onto that feeling with all my might.