Don't Be a Kept Man

Chapter 86: CH 86


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Adults already have a set thought process, a set of beliefs and concepts that guide their thinking, and have been set in how their brains process throughout their growth since childhood. So, in a split moment to process, it would be hard to change ingrained habits. Normal people who could ride on this backwards bicycle without falling flat onto their faces would have already been thankful to the heavens. It was not a surprise that the few in front had already been run ragged with their attempts, enticing the crowd to chuckle and laugh.

When it came to Chen Yi’s turn, there were still a lot of tourists on site, watching the spectacle. When he went on the bike, he had at first started to drift sideways, but he was able to correct himself very quickly. With a “swoosh”, he followed the straight line all the way down.

“Wow!”

The crowd of people immediately started to bustle and Fu Xiu Nian followed along the noise with applause. The stall owner evidently did not think that Chen Yi could drive all the way through and very unwillingly scooped out a wrinkled up hundred yuan bill, handing it over with a terrible attitude. And then she continued to use her loudspeaker to call for other willing customers, 

“Everyone, have you just seen this sight? This young fellow here has just done it. I haven’t lied to you. Turn your five yuan into a hundred yuan! My bike has no secret, no special cheat, just as long as your limbs can move, you can ride it over.”

With Chen Yi as an example, quite a few people were bolstered by the stall owner and they all wanted to try. At first, Fu Xiu Nian thought that they should be leaving, but Chen Yi went to the back of the line again, as if he wanted to try once more. Fu Xiu Nian bumped his shoulder and smiled as he asked, 

“Ah, what if the stall owner wants to chase you off?”

Chen Yi squinted his eyes, 

“Fall on the floor, cry and blame her for injuring me.”

And so, Chen Yi went to try again. The elderly woman evidently could recognize him and her face turned extremely sour. With her actions rough and dismissive, she stuffed another hundred yuan into his hands and then raised up her loudspeaker to say, 

“Those who pass can only try once. Only once. Everyone come take a look…….”

Chen Yi received his ill-gotten gains and pretended to be dumb, and he purposefully asked her, 

“How many times can those who don’t succeed try?”

Fu Xiu Nian was afraid that he would get beaten up and without waiting for the elderly lady to answer, he quickly dragged Chen Yi away. There was a small shop beside the bicycle game stall, and the two of them went over to buy two instant noodle bowls and two grilled sausages. The owner of the place probably saw the camera crew behind them, and he didn’t dare to raise the prices to be even more exorbitant than they were, only about a buck or two higher than the average in the city.

Time had passed very quickly, and it was already the afternoon. The burning temperature had finally faded a bit, and Fu Xiu Nian and Chen Yi found a place where there weren’t a lot of people, crouching by the roadside to eat their bowls of noodles.

Fu Xiu Nian sighed in relief, saying with a very satisfied tone, 

“So full. So happy.”

Chen Yi bought him a yogurt drink and the more he looked, the more he thought that Fu Xiu Nian was an idiot. Crouching by the roadside, he looked far away and then suddenly said,

“Thankfully I haven’t been transmitted the virus of being an idiot.”

Fu Xiu Nian: “You yourself are the virus.”

Chen Yi: “……”

This area was a scenic area, with mountains and water. But young adults would mostly prefer the exciting attractions and so the tourists around this spot were mostly of an elderly age. Not far from here, there was another game stall with throwing hoops. Fu Xiu Nian had a faint interest, and he watched for a while before tugging on Chen Yi’s sleeve and saying, 

“I want to play that.”

Chen Yi blinked, a faint smile on his face, 

“Go on then.”

Fu Xiu Nian uncomfortably said, 

“I don’t have any money……”

Chen Yi thought in his heart, you don’t have money and you act so crazy. He stood up and stretched for a bit before dragging Fu Xiu Nian with him, holding his hand as he said, 

“Let’s go. This big brother will bring you to play hoops.”

Chen Yi was a very contrary character. His outer appearance made him look like such a player, but the more you interacted with him, the more he gave you a very safe and comforting feeling, as though even if the sky fell, there was no need to worry. Fu Xiu Nian followed behind him, not missing a single step, looking quite like an underling.

The game stall had lined up quite a lot of toys, about thirty or so, each one about half a meter apart. The stall owner was a man who had a cigarette in his mouth and his hand held a long stick with a hook at the end which had about forty to fifty or so coloured rings on its end.

Chen Yi hooked his arm around Fu Xiu Nian’s shoulders and said, 

“Hey boss, how much?”

The man shook the stick and roughly said, 

“Ten yuan for three. Buy more, and I’ll give you a discount.”

Chen Yi said, 

“Forty rings. A hundred yuan. Deal?”

The stall owner was a fast and easy man, and he didn’t waste any words. With a “wah la la” he counted out forty rings. Chen Yi paid him and then threaded all the rings onto his arm before pulling Fu Xiu Nian up beside him and said, 

“Let’s go play.”

About one and a half metres away from the stall, there was a line of string. Players must stand outside of the line when throwing their hoops. Fu Xiu Nian grabbed ten hoops and said to Chen Yi, 

“The rest is for you.”

Chen Yi reached out to pull Fu Xiu Nian’s ear, 

“You absolutely won’t even hoop one.”

When he first joined << I Came From Far Away >> and saw him catch fish, he could already see it. Fu Xiu Nian’s right hand wasn’t that dexterous, but for games… The most important thing is that you yourself are happy. Who really cared about those toys in the stall after all?

The first few rows were all cheap items, with only the back row holding the real prizes. One of which was a replica toy of Sun Wukong, the monkey king.1 There was even a twenty yuan bill pressed below, and Fu Xiu Nian seemed to be eyeing that prize. Unfortunately, in nine consecutive throws, he didn’t even get one in. Chen Yi walked behind him and grasped onto his wrist, saying in a low tone, 

“Put your weight behind your throw, don’t tremble.”

He seemed to always have a faint candy smell around him, so very sweet, that was very contradictory to his whole personality. Fu Xiu Nian followed his words and following Chen Yi’s advice, he tossed the hoop. Light shone upon that neon green hoop in the air as if he threw a perfect parabola, and it just barely landed onto the golden rod of Sun Wukong. And it was at this time, another pink hoop also followed behind.

Fu Xiu Nian and Chen Yi paused, and they looked over, and discovered that it was an old elderly man beside them. When they had arrived at the stall, they had seen him before, but they did not think he would catch the exact same item.

As per logic, since Fu Xiu Nian first hooped the object, it should be his. But that stall owner acted as if he didn’t see anything and directly handed that toy to that old man. With his back towards Fu Xiu Nian, they conversed quietly, 

“This thing should as per reasoning be given to that young fellow, but seeing that you haven’t been able to get anything, I’ll let you off. Take this, take this and go.”

Chen Yi’s eyes were sharp, and he saw the stall owner discreetly take that twenty yuan bill back. But the old man didn’t say anything about it, and left very satisfied.

Fu Xiu Nian suddenly retracted his smile and said to the stall owner, 

“That should have been won by us first?”

The stall owner gave a “huh” and said with a very disinterested air about him, 

“Young man. Give some way to the elderly. You missing out is a blessing.”

Chen Yi: “I especially wish for you to have as much blessing as there is water in the East Sea.”

If he could use his hands, he wouldn’t hold back. Before, he could only refute back at people online only because he had no way to climb over the internet and take care of those keyboard warriors. But in reality, some people had thicker skin than others, and it didn’t hurt them one bit whether they were cursed at or not.

The stall owner directly said, 

“Are you going to play or not? If not, then move aside. Don’t bother my business.” 

And then muttered under his breath in a countryside dialect, swearing at their ancestors.

Chen Yi’s footsteps paused, and Fu Xiu Nian quickly reached out to pull him back, 

“Don’t care about him. If a dog bites you, are you going to bite it back?”

Chen Yi coldly laughed, 

“Bite? I can’t bite him to death.”

Fu Xiu Nian: “…….”

The stall owner put out another item and also like before, added the twenty yuan bill underneath. Who knew how many times he had done this before. Chen Yi gave all the hoops resting on his arm for Fu Xiu Nian to hold and pushed up his sleeves as he said, 

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“No more……”

Fu Xiu Nian, with his face blank in confusion, 

“What no more?”

Chen Yi: “I must teach him how to be a human.”

Throwing hoops, this kind of child’s play was too simple. Not even speaking about the distance of a metre and a half, even if it was separated by ten metres, he would still be able to score perfectly. 

Chen Yi tossed out a  neon green hoop, and it so happened to rest perfectly on that item with the twenty yuan bill. The stall owner immediately rose upon seeing this, and yet before his butt even left the seat, another hoop was tossed and scored the most expensive toy, which was a set of matryoshka dolls.

Stall Owner: “……”

This was only the beginning as Chen Yi seemed to have opened his senses, throwing each hoop to land on one item each. Whatever number of hoops he had, there would be as many items he kept winning. Ten minutes later, basically every item had a hoop around it.

People seemed to have crowded around them for a while, and there were quite a few fellows who gave Chen Yi a big thumbs up, 

“Wow that’s amazing dude!”

The stall owner’s face was turning green and his chest was heaving irregularly. He sat in his original spot, unable to move, filled with disbelief that he would meet someone who could beat him at his game. Chen Yi put all the items he won aside, and with the game stall left in an almost fully empty display, Fu Xiu Nian gave him a smile before saying to the stall owner, 

“Won’t you put some new items up, Mr. Boss?”

The stall owner rose up, muttering curses, and waved his hands in front of Chen Yi and the crew, signalling that he would not open his business to the both of them. There were some people in the crowd that weren’t satisfied, 

“Ah, how could it be like this. If you come out to do business, you should accept that there will be losses. You are just running a game that can’t be won, but when someone brute forces through, you just close up your business. What an evil business!”

The stall owner was dripping blood on the inside at the amount of losses he sustained today and immediately yelled back, 

“My motherfucking things have already been won by him, what business can I even do!”

And then he started packing up, as if to close up his stall. Chen Yi took a look at the stuff beside him and asked Fu Xiu Nian, 

“Do you have anything you like?”

Fu Xiu Nian took a look and then grabbed the item that was stuffed with the twenty yuan bill, 

“I like this one.”

Chen Yi was a bit speechless and then chuckled as he pressed down on Fu Xiu Nian’s hat, 

“If you like it, then keep it.”

And then turned around to walk over to the stall owner. Whatever Chen Yi was saying, he made the stall owner very agitated, but after a while of discussion, the stall owner suddenly hung his head in despair.

Fu Xiu Nian put his legs on Chen Yi’s knees, shaking them over and over, holding onto that bouquet of candy and not willing to let go, 

“It’s such a pity that you aren’t in business. A pair of empty hands to exchange for a white wolf, giving up almost nothing to always gain so much.”2

“You’re patting off all the dust on me, do you have ADHD?” 

Chen Yi patted his legs, but Fu Xiu Nian wasn’t stable and instead, his legs started sliding off. Chen Yi grabbed his feet back and placed them firmly onto his thighs.

By the time they were home, it was already dark. When they got out of the elevators, they could hear a faint crying sound. The door was not locked and when Chen Yi twisted it open, a chubby kid rammed straight into him and couldn’t absorb the rebound energy and fell on the floor onto his butt.

The crying stopped for a moment and the world was at peace at once.

The child on the floor was about six to seven years old, and he was wearing overalls, so very chubby and cute. There were a few tears still dripping down his face, and when he saw who “bumped” into him, he wiped his tears and climbed back up from the floor, 

“Uncle, daddy wants to hit me. I don’t want to go home. Take me in.”

And then went crying again to Fu Xiu Nian.

Chen Yi laughed and didn’t let the chubby kid touch Fu Xiu Nian. He grabbed him with one hand through the back straps of his overalls to toss him back inside, 

“Kid, got a zero on your exam again?”

Chen Xiao Meng was standing in the living room and her hair was in a mess, evidently having gone through a “terrible battle”. She stomped her feet in anger, 

“He came running over by himself when school let out. You guys weren’t home and he came to find me. I was just calling his dad when he threw my phone into the fish tank!”

The chubby kid was Fu Xiu Nian’s nephew, and since he was young, he had been a master at creating trouble. When he knew he had gotten into deep trouble, he would come over to hide, a bold child king indeed.

Chen Yi took joy in her misfortune, 

“Who told you to buy a phone that wasn’t waterproof.”

Chen Xiao Meng had pushed him in anger when she discovered the camera crew behind them. Embarrassed, she took her hand back and then huffed off in anger on her crutches, 

“This bundle of trouble can be managed by whoever wants to. I don’t care!”

Fu Xiu Nian grabbed two tissues and crouched down to wipe the tears off the chubby child, 

“How did you get here? Your dad?”

The chubby kid thought that his uncle Fu Xiu Nian was super gentle and he loved his uncle the most. He reached out to hug his neck and said, 

“Fu Si Ping went to attend a meeting. Mommy’s at a fashion show outside the country and they both don’t care about me so I told the driver man to bring me here when I got off school.”

Chen Yi pulled him away, 

“How old are you to still be crying. Go play by yourself over there.”

The program still needed to film a short ending interview, and upon hearing that Chen Yi was not going to banish him away, he immediately ran off.

The interview was done separately, with Chen Yi in the bedroom and Fu Xiu Nian in the living room. They didn’t know what the crew would be asking them, and this program was notorious for asking difficult questions, testing the guests’ bottom line over and over, trying to guess at their real personalities.

Chen Yi’s outer appearance was very cold, but since he was home, he unconsciously let down the barriers in his heart. His eyebrows were lazy and comfortable as the female interviewer complimented him, 

“You are very handsome. Actually I can be considered as your fan, as you have a particular meaningful way to refute back at others. But since filming for << Minister >>, we very rarely see you battle it out with anti-fans.”

Chen Yi honestly said, 

“Hmm, that is because I had no fans before, so I could only face them myself. But now I have fans, I don’t need to do it myself anymore.”

The female interviewer paused in surprise and then smiled as she said, 

“Actually I would rather be viewing this kind of understanding as a sort of growth, as when compared to before, you have made leaps and bounds of progress. But at the height of your popularity, you chose to expose your relationship, causing quite a few fans to leave. Do you think about it and regret it?”

Chen Yi shook his head, 

“Not one bit.”

The female interviewer asked, 

“What about your fans? Do you feel ashamed?”

Chen Yi thought about it and then warmed up his voice to say, 

“Idols are really, in some sense a mental hope for fans. When another person sets someone else as an idol, that means that that person had some sort of special quality that was attractive to them, and they would unconsciously want to mimic and follow it. I hope that the reason why they followed me as a fan is not only due to the superficial reason of looks……”

Notes:

*1 This is, as you might have already guessed, from the Journey to the West, of the main character.

Sun Wukong

*2 This is an idiom that means without, or with a very tiny amount of effort, they received a huge payout/reward, usually towards business like stocks. This is comparable to how white wolves are very rare (outside of the arctic) as well the danger factor of even trying to get a white wolf with no weapons, and sometimes referred to as not making any investments, or using cheat/lying tactics to gain something that is very big.

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