Don't Pretend to be Poor with Me

Chapter 13: CH 13


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I just accidentally touched it a bit

By the time Xia Zhiye finished changing his bandages, Song Yan had already laid down on the bed.

He slept on the inside, facing the window, wrapped in blankets, exposing only a head of black hair.

Knowing the other didn’t sleep well, Xia Zhiye didn’t call him.

He sat down, opened his computer, and after seeing [This Lady is Beautiful and Wild] sent a slew of messages, lightly tapped on the keyboard to reply.

[Pure and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play Online]: I still have class tomorrow, no time.

[This Lady is Beautiful and Wild]: Ying ying ying1, my beloved didi2, your jie really can’t enter Master. As long as you take me to Master, everything is as you wish.

[This Lady is Beautiful and Wild]: Oh, right. I heard grandpa froze your card again. Do you still have enough money?

[This Lady is Beautiful and Wild]: But as long as you help your jie get to Master, I’ll give you allowance whenever you want.

Xia Zhiye wasn’t addicted to playing LOL, but he was pretty good at it.

His older cousin3, Xia Yu, was coincidentally the opposite, and her addiction to vegetables4 was quite large.

So Xia Zhiye’s attitude towards this was quite firm.

[Pure and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play Online]: Sorry, knowledge is the only way to change one’s destiny. Please don’t affect my studies.

[This Lady is Beautiful and Wild]: ???

After responding, Xia Zhiye ignored his sister’s keyboard smashes, and was prepared to go offline when he saw a new message come in.

[Beautiful and Rich Little Lady]: Little brother, play King’s Glory with me, one round for 200 yuan, ok?

[Beautiful and Rich Little Lady]: QAQ, kisses

Over the summer, Shang Huai wanted to exchange his guitar, but didn’t have enough money. His mom also didn’t give him money, so he created an account named [Sexy and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play Online], in an attempt to subsidize it himself.

But because his skill was not good, he was complained about repeatedly by customers, so all day and night, he’d call Zhou Ziqiu and Xia Zhiye and bawl everyday without fail, regardless of rain or wind. He was just short of taking a rope and hanging himself from the big gate of the Xia household’s villa.

The two were so annoyed that they couldn’t endure it any longer, then distinguished themselves with the IDs [Pure and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play Online] and [Cute and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play Online]. Then the three of them, using the least respectable names, started the most respectable business of accompanying others to play. Finally they had pooled enough money to buy the guitar.

Then in order to catch up with the start of the new term, they had no time to play, and had no time to change their IDs.

Who would have thought that business would still come knocking on his door.

[Pure and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play Online]: Sorry, not taking it.

[Beautiful and Rich Little Lady]: ?

[Pure and Good-Looking Male High Student Accompanying to Play Online]: I don’t cheat money from little girls.

After Xia Zhiye responded with this sentence, he went to the bathroom to shower, as if he had no interest.

Song Yan, who had been left behind, burrowed in the bedsheets and looking at his phone screen: “?”

What do you mean you don’t cheat money from little girls? Didn’t everyone like beautiful and rich girls?

This person is sick.

Song Yan felt he had already done his utmost duty, and if Xia Zhiye didn’t appreciate his kindness, then he should just let it go.

He locked his phone, closed his eyes. The other could do whatever he liked.

He wouldn’t bother with this trivial matter.

Perhaps it was because he took medicine, but once he closed his eyes, a sense of drowsiness overcame him.

In a haze, he seemed to have heard someone putting on clothes.

Song Yan forced open his eyes, and saw Xia Zhiye had already worn his clothes, and was dressed neatly. The shirt of his school uniform had even been buttoned up to the top.

With a hoarse voice, he asked: “It’s so late, where are you going?”

Xia Zhiye ignored him, and directly left.

Song Yan was not assured, and dizzily followed.

After walking for a while, they walked to a hotel.

Song Yan didn’t know where they were, and was just about to call out to Xia Zhiye, when he saw an unrestrained woman wearing high heels with a flirtatious expression walking over, then pulled out a few bills, and tossed it at Xia Zhiye: “Come to my room tonight.”

In the next second, the world spun, and he saw Xia Zhiye being pressed onto the white bed in the hotel, his cheeks flushed, tightly grasping the collar of his school uniform in one hand, while sobbing with tears: “Jiejie, don’t be like this, jiejie, I’m not an adult yet, jiejie……”

Fuck.

Song Yan suddenly jolted awake, and abruptly sat up in the bed, his back overflowing with cold sweat.

He checked, and saw Xia Zhiye properly wearing his One Piece pajamas sitting in front of his computer, then lengthily exhaled.

In his heart, he couldn’t help but curse in his heart, ‘fuck.’

What kind of dumb fucking dream did he have.

He forcefully pulled at his hair, then laid down to go back to sleep, but once he closed his eyes, he saw that eye piercing scene and the sound of Xia Zhiye calling jiejie. He tossed and turned in bed, but no matter what, couldn’t forget the scene.

If he continued recalling it, he would probably have a mental breakdown.

Song Yan really couldn’t stand it, then sat up once again, pulled out his phone, and opened the ‘accompanying others to play’ app5. He clicked on Xia Zhiye’s profile picture, then sent another message: [No mic, no private messages, no nonsense. It’s inconvenient to play on the PC, I can only play King’s Glory. Each round is 300 yuan. Take it or not.]

Xia Zhiye originally had been doing research regarding little mahjong attending kindergarten and its relevant policies, when a new message suddenly jumped out on the screen. The tip of his eyebrow raised, and he thought to himself, this little lady had quite a temper.

Also, he didn’t know if it was because he had become used to Song Yan’s scolding, but when he saw this message, he unexpectedly imagined Song Yan’s sour face and his cold manner of speaking, even that way of treating money as dirt like a rich second generation was very similar.

It was quite interesting.

But for the time being, he had no need to take on any orders.

He was just about to block the other, when a message from Shang Huai came.

[Peerless Cutie Xiao Shangshang]: Ye ge, let me tell you something.

[Wild]: ?

[Peerless Cutie Xiao Shangshang]: Our good-looking group of three male high school students might have to open up for business again.

[Wild]: ?

[Peerless Cutie Xiao Shangshang]: It’s like this, today I saw a company is recruiting trainees, and is accepting demos.

[Wild]: So?

[Peerless Cutie Xiao Shangshang]: So I’m still missing Yamaha’s UP22C6.

[Wild]: ……

[Peerless Cutie Xiao Shangshang]: It’s not expensive, just 3,000 yuan. You just need to help out your bro this once, then once I’m famous all over China, I’ll definitely introduce my outstanding father, Xia Zhiye, to everyone.

Fuck off.

Xia Zhiye saw Shang Huai’s stupid grinning profile picture, then tossed his phone, as if he had never given birth to this mentally handicapped son.

But his line of sight returned to the screen of his computer, and he stared at the messages on the screen, then thought of that idiot, Shang Huai’s, only dream, then couldn’t help but grab his phone again.

[Wild]: Fine, I’ll let you experience firsthand that ‘a father’s love is like a mountain.’

After saying this, his fingers flew across his keyboard.

[Pure and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play Online]: No mic, no private messages, no adding contact info, no video chats, not responsible for coaxing or consoling people. Working time is Monday through Friday, 10pm to 1am; any time on the weekends. Book 1 hour ahead of each round, and each round is 20 yuan. After you’re steady in King’s Glory, pay on the app.

Song Yan saw this long message, and felt Xia Zhiye, this person, had some issues.

Although he had never found someone to accompany him to play, but if that person had this kind of attitude, Song Yan would beat him so hard his mother wouldn’t recognize him.

Furthermore, he didn’t listen when spoken to nicely, and only responded after getting dragged and 300 yuan per round was cut down to 20 yuan a round. Unless the other had a 10 year old cerebral thrombosis, they wouldn’t do something like this7.

But it was much better than going down the wrong road.

Song Yan thought of the eye piercing image from the dream before, then with contempt, responded with: [Fine]

After Xia Zhiye received the response, he turned the computer off and prepared to get in bed to sleep, with no intention of chatting.

He just happened to turn around and saw Song Yan playing with his phone, and asked: “How come you haven’t slept yet?”

If it weren’t for you going to a hotel with others to mess around.

Song Yan coldly replied: “You also haven’t slept yet.”

Xia Zhiye: “I had to deal with something.”

Song Yan: “What did you have to deal with?”

Xia Zhiye lifted open the blanket, and sat on the bed: “Nothing much, just chatting about business with a dumb, rich little idiot.”

Song Yan: “?”

After realizing the dumb, rich little idiot was likely him, his face collapsed, then he directly tugged the blanket and burrowed himself in it. Then he turned to face the wall, leaving no warmth behind for Xia Zhiye.

Xia Zhiye stared helplessly as the blanket slid away from his body: “?”

Why did this little young master suddenly throw a tantrum again?

He probed: “How about you share a bit of the blanket with me? The weather is still a bit cold.”

It’s fine if you freeze to death.

Song Yan turned backwards, and burrowed himself deeper.

Xia Zhiye tugged a corner of the blanket: “Just a little bit?”

Song Yan completely ignored him.

Haa, this little temper lacks punishment.

Xia Zhiye directly sat up, then hugged the blanket, including the person wrapped in it, horizontally.

Song Yan suddenly felt weightless, and widened his eyes: “Xia Zhiye, what the fuck are you doing.”

“What else can I be doing, I’m sleeping.”

After he said this, he found a gap in the blanket, placed Song Yan back on the bed, then pinched the corner of the blanket, lifted then tugged, and Song Yan tumbled out.

Then without waiting for his resistance, directly spread the blanket and made his way in. Then he conveniently pulled Song Yan into the blanket, placed an arm and leg over the other, and tightly pressed down a certain bad-tempered young master, preventing any further resistance.

Then he closed his eyes with satisfaction: “Okay, go to sleep. Good night.”

Song Yan, after struggling numerous times and failing, while the other remained unmoved and had even fallen deeply asleep: “……”

Fuck.

The difference between 181cm and 187cm was that big?

Tomorrow he’d start to gain weight and muscle. If he didn’t beat this idiot to death, then he wasn’t Song Daxi.

.

Probably because he was pressed down by a certain someone, the entire night, Song Yan had a dream of being licked madly by a golden retriever.

Once he awoke, he saw Xia Zhiye wiping his hair with a bare upper body just after leaving the bathroom, and he numbly shut his eyes.

Forget it, what’s the point of talking about having a sense of shame with a dog.

He turned his body over, and planned to continue sleeping.

Xia Zhiye walked to the side of the bed, and tugged the blanket: “Wake up, if you don’t get up we’ll be late.”

With closed eyes, Song Yan grasped the blanket back, blocking his waist: “Don’t pull, just a little longer.”

“The first class is Luo Wei’s class.”

“I said, just a little longer.”

“There’s only 18 minutes until the school doors close, there’s really no more time. Be good, listen to me.” Xia Zhiye simply thought he was bad at waking up, so while coaxing the other with a good temper, he also extended his arm to pull the other out of the blanket.

Song Yan simultaneously rigidly held onto the blanket, while irritatedly pushed away the other’s hand: “I already said, just a little longer. Don’t fucking drag me.”

“It’s so early in the morning and your temper’s this big……”

He hadn’t finished speaking, when Xia Zhiye’s hand on Song Yan’s body suddenly paused.

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Song Yan’s body that was covered under the blanket also paused.

The air suddenly plunged into an awkward, deathly stillness.

In the next second, Song Yan directly raised his legs, then firmly kicked Xia Zhiye.

Xia Zhiye’s eyes were swift and his hands were even faster, and he grabbed the other’s ankle with one hand: “Don’t be mad, don’t be mad. We’re all boys, and we understand what we should understand. I’ll help you keep it a secret.”

Keep it a fucking secret.

Song Yan had thin skin, and his ears had turned red much earlier. He struggled for a moment, wanting to pull his ankle free, but he wasn’t as strong as Xia Zhiye, and failed to struggle free, and he immediately grew even redder.

Xia Zhiye watched as the other’s ears turned from white, to pink, then to red, and couldn’t hold back his laughter: “Little classmate, is it that bad? I just accidentally touched it a bit, but you’re embarrassed to this extent?”

Em-fucking-barrassed.

Song Yan sat up, and his fist flew forward.

Xia Zhiye promptly used his other hand to grab the other’s wrist: “Don’t worry, although you’re very good looking, I definitely won’t have any improper thoughts about you, it was purely an accident just now.”

Im-fucking-proper.

Song Yan finally couldn’t hold back, with his hands held down, and knocked down Xia Zhiye. Then he grabbed the other’s collar, dragged him to the bed and planned to beat him for a period of time.

Then after taking into consideration Xia Zhiye’s wound, didn’t hit him as ruthlessly.

It’s just that after beating the other up, Song Yan and little Song Yan calmed down.

Xia Zhiye held back his smile, then tossed the other a black T-shirt: “Grandma took your clothes to wash this morning, just make do with this.”

They had no time left, and Song Yan didn’t carefully examine it. He took the T-shirt then easily pulled it on, brushed his teeth, washed his face, ruffled around with his hair, then carried his backpack to exit.

Xia Zhiye had already pulled out that pink bicycle.

Song Yan: “My leg is already healed.”

Xia Zhiye: “But we’re out of time.”

Xia Zhiye: “The first class is Luo Wei’s class.”

Xia Zhiye: “The self reflection of DaMing Lakeside8.”

“……”

In a resigned manner, Song Yan sat on that destined, pink bicycle.

By the time they arrived at the entrance of the school, it just so happened to be at the busiest time.

Shang Huai that idiot saw the two from far away, then raised his voice to shout: “Fuck, Song Yan how come you’re wearing Lord Xia’s clothes? Your relationship grew to this step already?”

Originally, Song Yan and Xia Zhiye appearing together was already quite eye-catching, and with this added shout, the students at the school entrance turned over to look one by one.

Then they saw Xia Zhiye wearing a white, graphic T-shirt, drinking from a pouch of soy milk, with one leg on the pedal, while the other leg lazily stood on the ground.

Song Yan behind him held onto Xia Zhiye’s bag with one hand, while the other hand held the same pouch of soy milk, wearing the same graphic T-shirt in black.

That T-shirt was also even a bit big.

Song Yan’s height was estimated to be around 1.8 meters, while the T-shirt he was wearing was close to the 1.9 meters size. His figure was also more thin, and the collar exposed a large swath of a collarbone as white as snow, making him appear very frail.

As if it suddenly had that kind of mood.

The gaze of the vast majority of the girls present became subtle, faintly expressing an excitement that straight men couldn’t understand.

On the other hand, the two straight men were completely unaware.

Xia Zhiye directly responded: “Yesterday night, he slept over at my house, and didn’t bring a change of clothes, so I lent him my clothes. What about it?”

As soon as he said this, the air seemed to be filled with a cracking sound.

They looked towards the surrounding audience.

A girl with pigtails that came to hang around Year 2 Class 1 everyday covered her chest, and slowly collapsed.

“It’s nothing, but you probably just broke a young girl’s heart.”

.

Xia Zhiye and Song Yan stopped the bike, then while unhurriedly walking to the classroom, the two had a brief encounter with the girl with pigtails.

Who seemed to have just come from the direction of their seats.

Xia Zhiye put down his backpack, then asked the little fatty: “What happened?”

“Um, nothing. She just came to take back the chocolates she gave you last night.”

“?”

“And also told me to tell you, her long one-sided love for you is done from now on, and you must forget about her.”

“??”

“Also you must treat your new lover well, though your new love may violate ethics, but she sincerely wishes you well.”

“???”

With a face full of confusion, Xia Zhiye turned to look at Song Yan.

Song Yan coldly bestowed him with one word: “Scumbag.”

“……” Xia Zhiye, “????”

What the fuck is going on here?

From the beginning, he had no idea when the chocolate was given, nor did he know why the other party suddenly took it back. Also who in the world was this girl and who was his so-called new lover. Meanwhile, Xia Zhiye had already become a scumbag in Song Yan’s heart who had over forty girlfriends, but he was completely ignorant to all this.

It was all quite mysterious.

Xia Zhiye was in the midst of a daze when Ruan Tian had already entered the classroom, habitually said a few reminders, then with an expression that was as if she couldn’t bear to open her mouth, said: “Now, students, it’s almost the end of September……”

The cultural committee member, classmate Kong Xiaoxiao had already begun to cover their ears.

Every year at the end of September, and at the end of March, was No.3 Middle High’s Culture and Art week. Every class had to put on a show, and for a majority of the classes, it was an activity of ‘building one’s character,’ but for the second years in Class 1, it was a period of great calamity of demons dancing about on stage9.

They were divided into this class in the second semester of freshman year, with a total of 39 students, and where only 4 students were girls. So with such a strange ratio of boys to girls, they made history in Nan Wu No.3 Middle High for singing so poorly as a choir that they were kicked off the stage by the principal.

To this day, Kong Xiaoxiao refused to remember that dark period of history.

Ruan Tian encouraged her: “We are different this year.”

Kong Xiaoxiao covered her ears, with no intention of listening.

Ruan Tian continued to encourage her: “This year, the class who wins first place will receive an award of 2,000 yuan.”

Kong Xiaoxiao continued to cover her ears, not wanting to listen.

Ruan Tian could only resort to one last trick: “If you win first place, teacher will add another 1,000 yuan, in addition to the class fee. How about I treat everyone to eat at FengKaoBiGuo10?”

Kong Xiaoxiao put her hands down: “Okay, teacher. Then do you think little fatty dancing ballet is better or Zhang Mianmian walking on a tightrope is better, I can arrange both.”

“……” Ruan Tian, “It doesn’t have to be that novel, being average is better.”

“Should we sing as a choir again?”

“Don’t, the principal is getting old, we can’t compensate for his losses.”

“Then how about we dance? Our class just happens to have 4 girls, we can dance Swan Lake, it’s perfect.”

“Don’t, a few of us are in the school’s dance club, and we have to rehearse for the opening dance. We definitely can’t deal with the class’s matters too.”

“Fuck, then what are we going to do. Even if we act out Water Margin11, we at least have to have Jinlian and Erniang12.”

“But in this kind of situation where our class is lacking any artistic talent, we can set up a modern drama at best.”

“At our last class meeting, didn’t we put on a comedic version of ‘The Butterfly Lovers’13 that had a pretty good reception?”

“But the problem is that Zhu Yingtai went to rehearse with the choir, so what should we do about the remaining pile of Liang Shanbo and Ma Wencai14?”

“Why don’t we just have a boy play a girl then?”

As soon as this was said, the entire scene grew quiet.

Kong Xiaoxiao: “Little fatty, you’re a genius.”

Little fatty: “Thank you, but the question is, who’s going to play the opposite sex?”

The entire scene grew quiet once again.

Then Song Yan, who had been single-mindedly battling in close combat with a pulley and trolley15, suddenly felt a number of bad looks, and when he raised his head, saw everyone tender-heartedly yet maliciously staring at him.

Song Yan: “?”

Little fatty exaggeratedly boasted: “Look at our Yan ge’s pure white skin, this pitch-black hair, these bright red lips. Tsk, tsk. It’s as if he were Zhu Yingtai reincarnated! The most beautiful woman in the world is you!”

Song Yan looked at him: “Have you thought of where you wanted to be buried?”

The little fatty obediently shut up: “Sorry, I’ve bothered you.”

He then raised his head to look at Ruan Tian.

Ruan Tian had an expression of a caring mother sending a son off to battle: “Song Yan, Class 1’s future is all up to you.”

The entire class nodded their heads: “That’s right! Class 1’s future is in your hands!”

Song Yan didn’t care about Class 1’s future, and with a cold face: “Have you ever seen Lin Daiyu16 pulling out the weeping willow?”

The audience shook their heads.

“Then have you ever seen Lord Voldemort carrying a hoe and burial flowers17?”

The audience shook their heads once again.

“So you guys want me to act as Zhu Yingtai because you’re all sick in the head?”

The audience frantically nodded their heads without any hesitation.

Song Yan: “……”

This entire group was on the fucking line.

Too fucking unreasonable.

1. Ying ying ying, is a cute way of writing crying noises

2. Didi = 弟弟 = younger brother, do not necessarily have to be blood related

3. XZY calls her 堂姐 (tangjie), which is an older female cousin on his father’s side.

4. Addiction to vegetables: someone who loves playing a game, but is not that good at it.

5. An app to find others to play with you to win in exchange for money.

6. I tried searching it up but couldn’t find anything. It may or may not be a piano (P22), but I’m not too sure.

7. Essentially means ‘doing something extremely dumb.’ XZY wouldn’t cut down the cost of a round from 300 yuan to 20 yuan unless he had a 10 year old cerebral thrombosis (stroke).

8. XXX of Daming Lakeside is meant to be satire. Used when someone is living happily, while leaving another person miserable. Meant to remind someone of their promise. XZY is reminding SY of the self reflection they had to write because they were late, see c4-5.

9. A metaphor for a bunch of bad people running rampant on stage. Basically, Class 1 can’t act nor put on a good show.

10. FengKaoBiGuo (逢考必过) is a hot pot restaurant chain.

11. Outlaws of the Marsh, 水浒传, a novel by Shi Nai’an, and considered one of the four classic novels of Chinese literature.

12. Jinlian and Erniang are two female characters in the novel.

13. The Butterfly Lovers (梁山伯与祝英台), a folktale of a tragic love story between Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai.

14. Ma Wencai is another character in ‘The Butterfly Lovers.’ This person is saying there are only students left to play male characters, as their class only has 4 girls.

15. A type of physics question.

16. Lin Daiyu is one of the main characters in a famous Chinese novel, Dream of the Red Chamber. She is portrayed as a woman with weak constitution. Meanwhile in Water Margin, there is a plot point wherein a character, Lu Zhishen (a canonically ‘strong man’ in the novel) pulls out a weeping willow. Because the contrast between the two is so strong, it has become a meme to mean something is ‘too excessive’.

17. Similarly ‘carrying a hoe and burial flowers’ is a scene from ‘Dream of the Red Chamber’. The character (Voldemort) and scene are incompatible, hence referring to a scene that is way too excessive. Essentially SY is saying him playing Zhu Yingtai is just as excessive/incompatible as Lin Daiyu pulling out a whole willow tree, or Voldemort carrying around a hoe and burial flowers.

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