Chapter 13: 13. Not Dead Yet

Tired, starving, bashed up, soaking wet, with a hole in the back of my nightgown and one side badly scorched, I finally made it to the girls dorms.

“What happened to you?” Ella asked, when I gratefully slipped into our room.

I ignored her question and asked my own, “Why does our school have a flooded hallway, full of sharks that shoot freaking fire from their eyes?”

“I think they're used to encourage the swim team,” she replied. “Did you fall in?”

Marching to the bathroom all I said was, “Don't want to talk about it. I'm going to have a shower and then eat, I'm starving.”

Stripping out my nightgown, I looked at the large hole in the seat, the acid burns around the collar, the mud and blood stains, and the dozens of tears in it. There was no hope of salvaging it, so I tossed it in the trash and stepped into the shower. Pressing a gem, a water elemental surrounded me, covering me in warm water. Grabbing a sponge I spent at least half an hour trying to clean the grime off.

An air elemental blew the water off and quick dried my hair. I had to use a hairbrush to get the knots out of my now short hair, a problem I never had as a boy. Somehow I got it looking OK with only minimal cursing and swearing. Wrapping a bathrobe around me, I went back to the room and all my new friends there. Even better I saw a small table full of food.

“Everyone is talking about you, Petra,” Clarice said. “You did great.”

My eyes went wide. “WHAT?!”

“They were showing some of the survival tests on the magic mirrors, and yours was one of the ones they showed the most,” Calci explained, while polishing a war hammer.

“How many people had a test?” I asked.

“Everyone.”

I shuddered a little at the thought of how many people had to die. “At least you guys all survived.”

“Actually,” Calci said, “I got eaten by a dragon.”

Clarice hugged herself, “I was poisoned by a lizard man.”

Ella grimaced, “My competitor turned ally and I, almost succeeded until we fell into a pit trap while running from a troll.”

From her comfortable seat by the door, Naomi just curled up into a fetal position and shuddered.

“Zombies got her,” Ella explained.

“But how are you still alive?” I asked.

“It was a pass or die test, it didn't say anything about us staying dead. Almost everyone died or failed, so they know what we're weak in, but they wouldn't want to lose everyone before class starts,” Clarice told me.

Groaning I slapped my head. “So I could have just died really quickly and not had to wander around, cold, bruised and humiliated?”

“Surviving is much better,” Calci said. “Getting killed hurts a lot.”

“So...” I started, my heart filled with dread, “everyone saw that I not only survived but succeeded.”

“Correct,” Ella said. “You survived with no weapons, no equipment, in your nightgown. You also managed to wrap a freshman from the School of Righteousness around your finger, getting him to do all the hard work, along with healing you. Then you almost got him killed as a wonderful diversion, finishing it off by humiliating him when you saved his life. And on top of that, you got the two of you out of there with barely a scratch. We're impressed.”

The other girls nodded in agreement. Then Clarice had to make things even better. “At supper, they were only showing your challenge, and lots of people were talking about you. You're now seen as one of the big threats.”

Suddenly I wasn't very hungry. Putting down my fork, I copied Naomi by curling up into a little ball and groaned.

“They're going to kill me!”

**

“Rise and shine, Petra!”

“I don't wanna go to school, Mom,” I whined, as I groggily woke up from a pleasant dream. I'd been giving a presentation at school and totally naked. It was a good dream because I had been at my old school, not Doom Valley, and I was a boy again. So even with everyone laughing at me it was a vast improvement on reality.

A pillow flew across the room and hit me in the face. “No sleeping in,” Ella said, “being late is not an option.”

“I'm going to die today, at least let me be well rested before they kill me,” I said, rolling over and putting her pillow over my head.

Ella sighed in exasperation. “You're not going to die on the first day. Probably. You will get a detention if you miss class, and that most likely will kill you. Come on, last chance to get up before I get Ivy to bite your butt.”

That got me out of bed, into the bathroom and back out a few minutes later. “I am not ready for this.”

Looking me over, Ella shook her head. “Yeah, you really aren't ready to start the day. You look like my brother Ronnie.”

My eyebrow rose in question.

“He's a zombie. He was killed in a little family argument and his mom tried to resurrect him. Daddy put him to work as a sewage manager. Believe me, you don't want to look like him,” she told me.

“I didn't sleep much last night,” I said. Seeing my reflection in the mirror I had to admit I did look pretty bad. The dark rings around my eyes stood out spectacularly against my pale skin. Running a hand through my hair was impossible thanks to all the knots, somehow it was even worse than yesterday. “I think I'm a lost cause.”

“Not even close,” Ella responded. “We just need  a little... a lot of makeup. Where's your supply?”

Makeup!

“I don't have any,” I squeaked out.

She grabbed my shoulders, spinning me around to look at her, eyes wide with shock. “NO MAKEUP?!”

“No. I never needed it,” I truthfully admitted.

“Not even some lip gloss?”

I shook my head.

“Wow!” Ella said in disbelief.

“I can just use some of yours, can't we?” I asked.

That got a huge laugh. “No! My makeup is for dark skin, and I'm sorry to say you're one shade up from a vampire. It would never work.”

“So... no makeup?” I asked happily.

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“Put on your blue dress and wait here,” Ella said, heading for the door. “I'm going to get reinforcements.”

Putting on my dress, it felt rather drafty around my legs and crotch. Why did girls like dresses? It didn't offer any type of protection and it seemed way to easy to flip up and show off my underwear. Sure I'd already shown off my underwear the day before, but I didn't want to give everyone a second show.

I fell onto my bed.

I was worrying about my underwear and wearing a dress. As a boy I would never wear a dress. As a boy showing my underwear would have been a bit embarrassing, but not a big deal. And now I was waiting to put on makeup!

“I've really become a girl!” I said, wanting to cry.

Getting to my feet again, I headed for the door. I could try running away. I just had to make it through the lava field, a monster filled jungle and climb razor sharp cliffs. It had to be better than getting makeup. If I could just steal a weapon on my way out, I'd have a chance. Before I could escape the door burst open and my friends came charging in.

“Oh wow, you're right, Ella. She really does need help,” Clarice said.

Calci shoved me down onto a chair. Her big Dwarf muscles didn't exactly give me any choice in the matter, she could probably pick me up in one hand and carry me. The others put a variety of makeup, brushes and what looked like torture devices, on the table. I'm pretty sure I whimpered in fear as they began talking about skin tone, colours and nails.

“Should we go with red lipstick or peach?” Tabby asked.

I tried one last defense, “How about none?”

All four girls looked at me like I was crazy. “Just watch and learn, you'll thank us in 20 minutes,” Naomi told me.

Calci grabbed my hand and began clipping my nails, which were cracked and pretty rough from wandering around the cave the other day. Naomi held my head firmly in one hand and started plucking my eyebrows, ignoring my pleas for mercy. While that torture was going on, Clarice and Ella were discussing makeup, eyeing the various colours and my skin with a scary intensity.

My nails were done quickly. Then Calci used a regrow brush to make my short fingernails suitably long and covered them in a glossy light pink polish. My eyebrows were much thinner and very sore by the time Naomi was done plucking them. A few minutes with a no-tangle comb, and my birds nest hairstyle was tamed into something Naomi called a pixie cut. I didn't get a chance to see what I looked like however as Clarice and Ella got to work.

My face was pushed this way and that as they applied peach coloured lipstick, some blush on my cheeks, and a whole lot of stuff around my eyes. Then they went and put mascara on my eyelashes. I felt like a clown by the time they were done.

When they held up a mirror, my eyes looked a lot bigger, and I wasn't quite so vampire-like anymore. I still didn't like it, my skin twitched and itched under it all.

“All right girls, I think we've done all we can for now,” Ella said.

“If we had a bit more time we could have done a bit more with her eyes,” Clarice said. “Maybe a bit of glitter.”

“No glitter!” I squeaked. I'd pretty much given up on looking manly or keeping any sense of manhood at that point, but there were some things that were just a step too far.

“Tomorrow,” Ella said. “We'll wake up a bit earlier so we have more time.”

Raising my hand, I asked, “Don't I get a say in this?”

“No,” they said in unison.

They got me to my feet, put my bag full of books on my back and marched me out into the hallway. Not having much choice, I followed them.

**

Taking the secret passage to the cafeteria was not only quicker but it let us avoid the worst of the crowds, so we were near the head of the line for breakfast. With a faint glimmer of hope I stepped up to the counter and looked the cat woman right in the eye.

“I'd like -” I started to say.

The cat woman slammed a tray in front of me, cutting me off. On the tray was a glass of water and a  small plate with a loaf of something brownish, that looked a little like food. Some of the lumps in it could have been raisins, or a weird type of berry. It smelled a bit like old socks and oatmeal.

“What is it?” I asked, poking it gently with a spoon to see if it would grow legs and scuttle away or eat the utensil.

“Your breakfast. Courtesy of the school,” the cat woman said. “Now beat it, you're holding up the line.”

I went to our usual table, staring in fascination at my 'food'. I was quickly joined by my friends, who were just as curious as I was at this strange, possibly edible, object.

“What is it?” Ella asked.

“I don't know,” I said.

“Is it alive?” Calci asked, leaning in close.

“I don't think so.”

“Have you tasted it yet?” Clarice asked, holding a piece of blue sausage up to a crease that could possibly be a mouth.

“No. I'm not sure if it's poisonous.”

Ivy gave it a sniff, jerked back in disgust and grew fur. “Ugh,” she growled.

Ella frowned. “I think you should try it. The school wouldn't poison you on the first day.”

“Well that's reassu- Wait! You mean they poison students?” I asked, jerking my chair away from the mysterious, maybe food.

She shrugged nonchalantly. “Sometimes, but usually only the higher grades. It's considered a test to see if they can spot the poison or heal themselves effectively.”

“Lovely!” I said.

Very reluctantly, I cut a small part of the soft material with the side of my fork. Stabbing it, to ensure it was dead, I brought it to my mouth and bit it.

It didn't scream, bite me back, kill me on contact or do much of anything.  It was a lot like eating a paper, just mushier.

“She's not dead yet, that's a good sign,” Naomi said.

“It's... food,” I said.

“That bad?”

“Yeah.”

Each of my friends gave me a plate or bowl from their tray, so I was able to have a real breakfast of scorpion eggs, blue sausage, emerald juice, and angel toast, while my own personal breakfast was pushed to the end of the table.

Today was going to be great.

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