Chapter 7: OOPS

A gong woke us up for our first breakfast at Doom Valley Prep School. Today was the day we'd meet the older students, see the school and pick our classes, I was dreading every minute of it. While Ella stepped into her closet and came out wearing the blue school dress, I came out in my padded armour. After seeing how bad the freshmen were, I didn't want to even think what the older students were like and had to be ready for anything.

“Don't be so nervous,” Ella said, as I stared at myself in the mirror, wishing my parents had given me some kind of weapon. “The older girls are smart enough to know talent when they see it and will make deals.”

“I'm not nervous,” I squeaked, which was really embarrassing. My new voice was already high pitched, so I sounded like a scared mouse.

She giggled quite prettily. “You beat up a boy in front of the teachers, avoided getting ripped off by bullies, dodged a giant, and beat a psychic to a pulp with a lunch tray yesterday when he couldn't impress you, and now you're scared? Honestly after how well you did yesterday, I'm pretty sure everyone is worried about you. Which, if you can back it up, is a very good place to be.”

“I don't think I can back it up.”

She threw her arm over my shoulder. “Than it's a good think you have me to back you up. I need you to be my ace in the hole like you were yesterday, so I'll be yours. Now cheer up and give me a big smile.”

I smiled as best I could. And blushed as I saw how pretty I looked in the mirror.

“Perfect! Never show fear unless you want to make someone feel sorry for you, or are trying to get them monologuing.” She led me out the door, where we picked up the other girls who were just coming out of their rooms.

“Oh wow! I never slept on such a nice bed,” Naomi, who was walking with a very sharp looking spear, gushed, and the others quickly agreed, except Ivy who wandered in front of us, sniffing the air, and growling hungrily.

I got up beside Calci while the others talked. “So how was Ivy?”

“She snores, it's more like growling,” the Dwarf said. “But she just curled up in bed and fell asleep so I could read the school handbook for a bit.”

“I fell asleep right away, what did it say?”

“Mostly don't get caught. But it had things about formal challenges of students and teachers. More rules written in small print with clauses, sub clauses and hidden clauses that could not be told to students beforehand, and contradictions. We're also a nemesis of The School of Righteousness and Honour , so we'll have regular competitions, get-togethers and two balls in winter and at end of the year.” She shook her head in wonder at that.

Slapping my head and groaning, I realized, again, that I was doomed. Not only wasn't I in hero school, but when I finally graduated, IF, I graduated, they'd all know I'd gone to villains school. There was no way they'd trust me after that. Maybe I could ask one of them how to get a transfer.

“What's Ella the Empress in waiting, like?” Tabby asked.

“Really nice. She let me get cleaned up first and said that she'd watch my back as much as I watch her. I didn't think I'd meet anyone as nice as her, or you guys here,” I said, hoping to get a hug.

She rewarded me with a tight embrace, although I had to admit having her head squishing my new boobs was very, very weird. “Aw, you're so nice,” she said. “I thought I'd be turned into a frog or something on my first day to. I can't believe we survived and haven't been transformed yet.”

“Yeah... That's really surprising,” I said, blushing at how easily I'd been fooled.

“Hey,” Clarice said, ducking in between the two of us, “do you think you'll be able to get breakfast today?”

“I hope so. I've had enough interesting things happen already, I don't want anything else to go wrong,” I admitted.

“Well just remember, we've got your back. Like it says in The Morons Guide to Controlling Minions, good help is hard to find, once you find it treat it like mithral. We worked well as a team yesterday, we just have to keep it up,” she chirped, which with her tiny size, had her sounding like a kid sister. “So have you decided what classes you want to take?”

I had been thinking about it off and on yesterday, and I thought I had a decent plan. “I'm going to try for straight subterfuge. I've never been very good with magic, and I really don't want to get into a fight with people like that,” I said pointing at the barbarian girl who I had avoided like a rabid dragon.

“I know what you mean,” Calci said, as Clarice shuddered in fear. “Fighting like that is a big no for me.”

We joined the mob of girls who were heading for breakfast, following the ones with the noses again since it was still impossible to make heads or tails of the way there. This time in the cafeteria, everyone gave a drop of blood and we got into line. I was allowed to go first in case I had any trouble again. Getting to the counter, I gave the cat woman my sternest look. “I want basilisks eggs, over easy, fried unicorn sausages, and orange juice, now!” I ordered.

“All out.”

My head banged nicely against the metal. Giving up before I ruined my day, I went and grabbed a table. Victor glared at me from across the room, so did Michael, who was still walking with a painful limp. To my very big dismay, they sat down together and started talking. My head banged against the table again. I gave it third bang for good measure.

“What's up?” Ella asked, as my friends sat down.

“Nothing much, I think my two nemeses just formed a partnership,” I said as lightly as possible.

They put my breakfast down in front of me, and looked at Victor and Michael. “Don't worry so much,” Naomi said, putting her spear on the table, pointed by sheer coincidence right at the boys. “Victor blew his shot yesterday. Now that we know what he can do we just have to keep concentrating whenever he comes by. My Dad says that psychics are best when they catch you by surprise, or alone.”

“And you beat up the other boy really well,” Ella pointed out. “You have to be careful, but you have to be careful about everyone here.”

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She had a point. Digging in, I tried to put them out of my mind.

“Hey Ella,” Naomi said, “do you know what that mid-year dance we have with the heroes school is all about?”

Ella shrugged dismissively. “We're suppose to get to know the opposition and they do the same to us. So we have a banquet and ball where we're suppose to have a date with someone from the other school. We try to seduce them to the darkside, or brainwash them, and they try to do the same to us. It's mostly used for pranks and beating each other up.”

My day was just getting better and better.

When we were half done the doors opened up and older teens who looked like seniors came marching in. They looked impressive, no school uniforms for them, instead they had expensive clothes, jewelled robes, spider silk dresses, dragon leather armour, enchanted clothes that gleamed in the light, enchanted weapons, familiars, objects that just screamed magic and a knowing look in their eyes.

A beautiful woman, who's clothes and cloak showed a dark, stormy sky, where the clouds moved in time with her movements, came to our table. She didn't have a weapon, from looking at her she didn't need one. This girl expected people to follow her, and she made you want to do it.

“Good morning, I'm Marid. I'm your guide today, come with me,” she said. Her voice was soft but from the way she stood, her looks, her brilliant gold eyes, she was backed up by steel.

All of us stood to follow her, except for Ella.

“We'll finish our breakfast first,” she said, not bothering to look at the girl. Ivy sat down immediately while the rest of us looked between the two girls in confusion.

“Breakfast is done,” Marid said. She didn't change her voice or anything else I could notice, but I expected to hear swords being drawn when she spoke.

“No it's not. Please sit down and we can talk about things. We all have questions.”

Marid smiled. “This is a power play you can't win. I can just walk away, leaving you confused about where to go and what you're supposed to do. Last chance.”

I was torn between sticking with Ella and going with the senior. Both girls looked very confident, Marid was more impressive, having a cooler more collected look, Ella had a tiny bit of sweat on her brow but was ignoring it, eating a slice of golden peach as if she didn't have a care in the world. I sat down, knowing I was making a mistake, but not willing to leave my friend behind.

When I sat down the other three did as well.

“Your loss,” Marid said, walking away very casually.

“What was that about?” I demanded.

“She's too smart. She'd have us begging her for information and giving her everything to learn a little more,” Ella explained. “We want someone who is a bit more straightforward. Like her.”

We all looked to where she was pointing. A mountain of a girl, who just so happened to be an ogre, with a mace hanging from her gleaming mithral armour, was sitting at a table with four cowering girls. I knew the girls were ones who'd had their keys taken from them, and they just stared in wonder as the senior took the food from their plates.

“Girls, that's our guide,” Ella said, grinning like a madwoman.

“She's scary,” Clarice said. Naomi nodded in agreement, hugging her spear.

“Exactly, she's used to getting her way through violence. We just have to convince her that it's in her best interest not to be violent. And if we can get her telling us useful stuff instead of being a bully, we'll have those other girls very thankful. Never underestimate the power of gratitude.”

We finished our breakfast in record time and then followed Ella over to where the senior was still talking about how great she was.

“Excuse me,” our unofficial leader said, “we were hoping you could be our guide today.”

The senior glared at us, up close I noticed her tusks were etched in a pretty twisting pattern of lines and swirls, faintly dyed in reds and blues. She spoke with a gravely voice, “Nope. I'm not doing anymore work than I have to.”

Acting as if she was asking how much a pair of shoes cost, Ella smiled and said, “We could make it worth your while. How much would it cost?”

None of us were ready for what happened next. A massive hand grabbed Ella around the throat lifting her into the air. When Ivy moved in growling like a wolf, a sword appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, pointed at her nose. “We are given a group, we can't add anyone to it. Losing them is fine, as long as we make sure they know we're there to help. You pissed off Marid, which makes me happy, but you're on your own.”

Placing Ella back on the ground, and patting her head for added insult, the senior pointedly ignored us. Dejected, we returned to our table.

“So what now?” Naomi asked.

For once Ella didn't have an answer.

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