Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Kiss The Ground

August 17

2245 hrs

I'm getting the hell out of this place by tomorrow morning, the wolves have come more closure to the shed, through a gap in the windows I can see their shiny red eyes glowing in the darkness. If I stay here I'm bound to commit a mistake. A mistake that would deliver me to straight on a parcel to death valley into the waiting arms of an undertaker who hasn't bathed for hundred years at least that's what the enslaved skeletons of every necromancer say on our side of the globe.

While gazing at the wolves I thought I saw a white shadow dancing to a strange tune. This hallucination must be because of those dead rabbits. There must be a hallucinogen inside their cadavers. I cleaned my bowie knife that was of no use. While at the same time keeping an eye on the wolves who were rolling around on the dirt, playing like dogs. Those wolves surely had a strange mating ritual as they were hopping like rabbits, trying to impress the lone female member of their pack. But where had she even come from, I thought only two wolves were keeping an eye on me, I need to sleep, and tommorow I'll try to flush out this new age drug out of my system.

Before I closed my eyes for good, I saw the two wolves were led into a cave by the female wolf. They had a lecherous look on their face, and going by their panting, I could clearly imagine they were eagerly waiting for a chance to pounce and do some physical action. I didn't want to watch the mating of wolves, so I averted my eyes and gazed at the celing that was covered from all sides by dust. But then I remembered a simple fact there was no cave outside this she, I was just experiencing the good effects of a hallucinogen. So I turned my averted eyes back toward the cave, and I leisurely listened to the howling of the wolves.

August 18

0830 hrs

Alright I woke up at a good time. The sun's out and its raging hot in the vast sky. Although there were bloodstains near the shed but that could be just the good effects of the drug. I picked up my bag, and took out a circuar communicator which had no signal. "Hello, Hello is anyone out there!! I need help! This is not a prank. Please send this message to the relevant authorities if you see my message." I recorded a video and then I posted it on a forum where even people who shittposts get views."

"I'm sure, surely one of them (internet zombies) would reply, even if I become the butt of a hundred thousand jokes at least I would be out of this jungle. The forest's really not a suitable place for humans to live, thrive or survive. When I get a signal this video would automatically upload itself. And they'll track me by the tracker left on this device."

The woods were strangely quiet, only the sound of my sneakers trampling on the ground echoed inside the jungle. I never saw a single animal in the forest on this day, while I was trying to find a way back to civilisation I saw a cloud of smoke rising up in the distance. Fire means the presence of human beings, I stepped on it, and I ran like a cheetah, my speed was even faster than a bullet at least that's what it looked like from my perspective. I arrived at the campsite huffing and puffing like a fatty who had been forced to run nine miles. There was not a single man or woman present at the campsite. I was fooled by the crackling fire, my hopes were dashed and I just felt like a male lich when he finds for the first time that his dick's gone forever. In my anger I kicked away anything I could find, first it was the compact sealed iron boxes of packaged food, Next I shifted my frustrations on fire, I kicked a burning piece of firewood, and it sailed through the air for just ten seconds, but within those seconds the fire had not gone out, it had blazed even more than before. I was flabbergasted when that piece of firewood landed on the dry grass, and in minutes the whole place was on fire. Unlike a koala I didn't scream, I just ran the hell out of that place, I couldn't go back so I just ran ahead, and soon I came to a dead end. I had too choices go back and face the fire or jump into the water from above 100 feet. I chose the latter but I was no diver, so I took a leap of faith, and I left everything to luck and as I plunged down I had a sudden thought, that maybe every man who aspires to be a villain really needs to learn about diving. 

1640 hrs

That leap of faith should've killed me but I was still alive and breathing. The moment I crash landed on the surface of water I felt a strange impact. It felt like I had smashed right into a steel door. I could feel that my body was rapidly sinking in the water but I couldn't do anything to save myself from this predicament as I couldn't even move my pinkie, I desperately wanted to get out of the water but just like a man with paralysis I could only leave me fate to the water... like a stone I sunk into the bottom edge of the waterfall, the freshwater was going inside my body through the way of my nostrils. I was choking on water and I would suffocate in thirty seconds 'cause just like I slacker I was from breath, I totally floated through the swimming classes being a salted fish.

My eyes saw a light. And it was a miracle when I floated out of the water and just like a fucking fairy from a fairytale, I rose out of the water. Talk about a cheap way to ruin a manly man's pride. Looking closely at my body I could see my skin had been coated by a layer of a purplish-black light.

I could see with my own eyes that every part of my body was going through a divine healing procedure. This miracle phenomenon continued on for more than an hour. I had read about the laws of our world on online boards but I still couldn't believe it. According to the most popular theory on public and private forums, when a villain commited acts of villainy the power of nature present in this world 'Core' that favoured villains would give the villainy doers powers as a gifts for committing every kind of act that society frowned upon.

I had also read that if a villain was lucky enough he would receive certain powers from the 'Core' but I guess wasn't lucky enough to get a power. Above the waterfall I could see the large fires burning trees, disfiguring anything or anyone that dared to stand on its way. I guess in a way that fire for this jungle is a kind of baptism. From the burnt ashes of the old forest a new jungle would be born which I hope could one day endure the test and taste of fire.

According to one of my friends the people of Orion were quite touchy about the subject of trees, and if they caught me here on the scene, I would be sent straight to the gallows without even a trial. I guess for herbivores trees are even more sacred than their God or mother. I bowed to the trees and bid them adieu then I jumped onto the stream and I was lucky enough to find a log which carried me back to civilisation. I was grateful for a lot of things but there were two things that I was especially greatful for, one being that I had no girl to carry over as a deadweight and the other thing was that the water was lukewarm, so I didn't have to freeze my balls off in cold water, and I was safe from a death by hypothermia.

2200 hrs

I think the moon's beautfiul tonight but my clothes are too wet I can't concentrate on its beauty and neither can I appreciate the blemishes on its surface. The whole concept of this world is just one bullshit after another. We're fighting a war that'll never end. If one villain goes down hundreds of new villain will rise and the same thing could be said of the heroes. We all are like hamster running for the cheese, in the end we do get cheese but at what price--- most of the times the price's too heavy. I mean how can I kill a human being, sure I can burn down a forest without batting a eye, but this and that are two different things. I need to make a fire but everything inside my bag is wet. I bought everything except for guns for a cheap ass price from a shop in the slum district. Those firearms back home were my investment.

Some lucky bastard at that party might have already nicked those and he already might be partying on the west coast with a bunch of babes, or a entourage of sissies. If I was back in the academy then I could surely threaten my mentor to put a curse on the thief. In our world the price for saving a life's quite expensive, over a million Dollars but for killing another person, the cheapest price's Ten Dollars, the killers of Necromantic society in search of new minions would let go of anything even profits: the most beloved thing of the merchants for which they could do anything and I mean anything, I once saw a merchant gifting his own daughter to the buyer to sweeten the deal. This world is quite cruel to the powerless that day I learned that lesson.

August 19

0900 hrs

Sticking your thumb out on a road like a fool would never net you a free ride. I haven't shaved my legs for years. No driver would mistake me for a girl and stop their car even though I have a lean figure and a chest that sticks out like a sore thumb. For hitchhiking, seriously you need a girl by your side so she can charm the pants off the fools behind 'em wheels.

I set up a roadblock, the obstruction was a nearby fallen tree which I had to roll over to the middle of the road. I could see a car racing straight towards the obstruction. The driver didn't step on the brakes on time and his car flew sideways and then it came down along with the driver who didn't have a hair on his head, maybe he was a fan of necromancer. I walked up to the car and I asked the driver about certain things.

"Fella, maybe you could offer me and yourself the ride to a hospital. Look chap you're injured. You arm's bent in the wrong direction and your face's scratched so bad that even your momma won't recognize your new mugshot. Just scoot over, and I'll drive this car to a hospital. Once we get to the hospital they'll fix you right away. You might not know it but they have got this amazing new technology that can restore your body back to when you were at your prime. Why are you not moving fella? You think I had something to do with your accident? No man I was just a bystander. I saw a lady she was wearing red heels, her macho boyfriend picked up that log and he dropped it on the middle of the road. Look at these lanky arms I can't even carry a chip of wood how do you except me to carry a log? Fella say something don't you wanna report those couple to the police." I shook his shoulder and he slipped out of his car and then he fell right into my arms.

Ah... I killed a fellow human being. I wanted to puke my guts out, I needed to behave like a empathetic protagonist of a melodrama but sadly the tears never rolled down on my cheeks. Strangely enough I couldn't feel a thing. There was a strange thoughts going on and on, inside my head 'Get rid of the body.' And this thought was on repeat. I saw a large trashcan a hundred feet away from the site of the accident. I picked up the fella for his last ride, and when I threw him inside the trashcan a strange feeling of mirth and giddiness rose inside my heart. And I wanted to dance and sing like a crazy guy in a musical. But I stopped myself from doing the exact opposite of which a manly man should never do. "Aye Fella you were a good guy, even though you and I were total strangers you were nice enough to stop your car and you even offered me avride. There ain't too many nice fellas like you in this world. I wish I could know you, we could've had beer togethers, talk about girls and we could've gone hunting together but now you are dead. A cadaver without a soul. And the only good place for a cadaver is a garbage bin, a vessel that can't even hold the soul of my friend needs to be totally erased from this world."

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I press on the incinerate button on the modified garbage bin and my best friend's body turned into ashes. "I hope you get reborn again, and for that I'm even willing to knock up a few girls, my good fella latch onto me and the first girl I knock will be your mother." I took a deep breath, and then I gazed at the drifting clouds in the sky and I murmured, "Why am I such a nice person? This world needs a saviour, and by my actions I'll save the world." The sky turned dark after I uttered those honest words and then I had thought, if orange was the new black, then for sure black was the new white.

1200 hrs

After trying to drive a car for hours, that I didn't know jackshit about like a pro, I learned that certain things in life are better left to the machines. Which is why I just sat behind the wheels and played a game that was about saving the world with choices. "Heroes suck. There games are bad as bad as their breath." A game needs hack and slash, I want to kill things to fell better about myself, if I want learn something I'll watch a fucking documentary.

I threw the digital pad that was made from dragon glass out of the car and I turned on the radio on which a righteous man was going on about the effect of good and bad on urban population. "Don't turn off our channel. And keep on listening stranger. Me and you over there are here to talk about what's wrong with this world. I supposed you saw the news today Meteorman and BlueBear from the magic association fought near New Eden city. Their battle raged on for hours and today was the concluding day of that battle in which the main heroine of our Orion nation somehow won by beheading Meteorman like one of those nature loving terrorists. Before dying Meteorman summoned twelve or more meteors and those astral bodies that once floated in space flattened BlueBear and the whole city of New Eden like pancake. More than a million people died today and we just expect that kind of loss casually in our world. We all need to be out on the streets protesting for peace. Get your ass out of your chair and lets make a bad decision together."

I turned off the radio, this fella was off his rocker, on the other end of the world he was transmitting frowned upon thoughts for which he would spent the rest of his long life counting bars 'cause he had the audacity to dare speak against the basic ethos of our society by which our world is governed by the two sides of good and evil.

Up ahead the police had set up a roadblock. They are searching for someone, and that someone could be me. I'm scared, I've heard every prision in Orion is famous for their special kind of torture. One prison in particular, its called the love island. In that prison the convicts are only allowed to sleep four hours a day, and the rest of the time they have to spend watching artsy movies which make no sense to a normal human being.

I turn the car around, and I wait for the cops to leave I park the car right underneath a copse of trees. I feel a little dizzy... my head sways from one side to the other side, and suddenly I've lost my vision...

2319 hrs

After eleven hours and seven minutes of darkness I think I can see just fine. I must've collapsed because I didn't eat anything nutritious for days, since the whole waterfall fiasco. Checking up the dashboard of the car I found a bag of chips, and a large piece of cucumber it had a strange odor. I washed that cucumber until I could no longer smell its nauseating scent. I took out that all too familiar bowie knife out of my pocket and I aimed it at the front end of cucumber when the middle finger in my right hand elongated, and the knife and cucumber slipped right out of my hanfs. I think the legends were all true. I murdered that guy on the road and I got a power but what kind of shitty power is this... all I can do with this power's to create more and more aggro.

From a young age every man alive has dreamed to get hold of a mysterious power but I had never heard of power like this... what could I do with an elongated finger... finger a girl... that would only help me if I wanted a sugar mommy. I could go on tellie and show off my power to every spectator watching Tv. For humiliating myself on national and International television I would surely get a book deal but I didn't want to be part of such a thing. The only other option left for me was to start a cult based on the finger, I would call it 'The Middle Finger Cult that rules the world.' My middle finger would guide the old and young on the stable path of villainy. And then I would become a famous religious leader loved by thousands and hated by millions.

Again I washed the cucumber, and this time I used my left hand to cut it into pieces, if I had condiments I could spice it up to perfection. But I didn't even have salt to smear on the cool surface of cucumber with taste. The cops were long gone... there was no roadblock on the road. I stepped into the car and booted my dead friend's baby like a computer and then I set it on autopilot and my destination was the nearest town.

August 20

1015 hrs

The empty roads stretched out forever and I thought I was stuck in a time loop but when I saw the first lit up sign I knew was back in the civilized part of the world. The town was called DeadHam, the folks of DeadHam were quite welcoming to strangers as I was given a hearty welcome which even included a folk dance where the citizens of DeadHam held each others and they swayed around like swirling tops. I gave them a fake name, and I didn't even mention my affilation to the villain faction. The woman sitting at the respection was not wearing any clothes? But she was not embarrassed about it... 'cause she was doing that out of her own volition.

I did appreciate the eye candy but a mole under the right side of her sagging breast was hideous, it had even a hair growing on it, I pointed that out, as it was my duty as a man to point out the hidden flaws in a thing of beauty. She turned pink and she ran out of the room and that day she never came out of the washroom. Ahh... she was a nudist with a weak will. I hollered for the manager but he never came to the reception. A bellboy checked me in, and when he asked for a plastic card I gave him the most stylish one of the several different plastic card of my dead best friend, Ryan Harris Jr. 

After tipping the bellboy, I stepped into the room which was a little too heavy for my taste. The walls of the room were coated with Baby Pink, the colour of that room gave me such a nauseating feeling that I swooned like a little princess.

The people of Orion have always thought themselves superior from the rest of the us simpletons but even their rooms were more distasteful than their heroic culture.

I don't have braids, and the last time I checked I had a dick. How can I sleep inside this room? I'm a manly man I can't sleep in this room. I'm going back to my car. I won't sleep in this room.

I tried to open the door but there was no doorknob on that door, there was not even a keyhole, a card reading device was also not there, did that bellboy deliberately locked me inside this room?

I went online by using my dead friend's mobile device, and I clicked on the news tab. There was no news about a murder, or a manhunt going in or near the town of Deadham. While I was checking up about the Wayward hotel (in which I was currently staying) I was recommended a page on which there were new rules and guidelines for hotels.

There were only three sentences on the page and they were all rules.

Rule No. 1 - Customers cannot leave the hotel premises on their own. If there's a emergency they must inform the manager through their own registered devices.

Rule No. 2 - All services are non-refundable. But to avoid conflict between the customers and hotel side we're glad to inform to both sides that we have found a perfect solution which is to just lock the doors.

Rule No. 3 - All the pre-registered customers would be safe from the above mentioned policy but those that rent a room in the hotel after their arrival on the hotel premises can only leave after the time of their hotel stay is over. We're sorry for your inconvenience. If you've any complaints you can forward it to our local representative by a hand-written mail.

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