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“See! It’s not my fault I’m here! Clearly it would be immoral to do me harm, not when I had no say in the matter,” said the skull, its eyes dancing nervously from Opal to Rain.

 

“Would you die permanently if I crushed you into powder I wonder?” said Rain taking a threatening step forward, his claws twitching and his body tensing in anticipation.

 

The flames in the skull’s eye sockets seem to shrink down warily as it looked up at Rain.

 

“Wait, wait, stop moving Rain!” said Lyra.

 

Rain paused and turned to her. “Why?”

 

“Your clothing, it’s about to tear, I only did temporary stitches.”

 

“No no, I think he should keep moving, straining, bursting out of his clothes, with his sheer si-”

 

“Please don’t! I’ll have to get everything lined up again! Just, hold on, let me stitch things properly before we get into this.”

 

The sheep girl dashed forward and grabbed up her sewing box and then bounced over to where Rain was awkwardly stuck mid-stride. 

 

“You don’t have to do it you know. I’m basically powerless now…” grumbled the skull, its words sulky and a little upset. “When you took me away from my collection you took everything from me.” 

 

“You knew you would survive what happened?”

 

“Well, yes, I am an undead and undead are nothing if not tenacious. Had I been left as I was I would have been able to collect together the corpses of my minions and eventually bring them back to undeath and rebuild my collection, damage from your brutish behaviour notwithstanding.”

 

“I recall you had a fracture from when I threw you. I don't see it now, meaning you must have the ability to heal your bone core and then return to life, or undeath.” Rain snorted. “Seems simple enough, I’ll just break you into pieces and bury them in separate locations, or, alternatively, I could just eat you.”

 

“I can heal, I will admit that much, and It worked perfectly fine whenever some overpowered leveler came along thankyou, and it would have worked again if not for that grubby Goblin kidnapping me from my home.”

 

“Hey screw you, you don't even know how many baths I’ve been put through lately. Nobody gets to call me grubby. Bitch boy.”

 

“That- Why are you calling me that?”

 

“Seems pretty fitting considering we kicked your butt for being a jerk. We won.”

 

“How disgustingly mortal of you.”

 

“Yeah? Well, what's your actual name?”

 

“I have had not need of one. The undead do not require something as ephemeral and shallow as a name.”

 

“So you're fine being called boney bitch boy then?”

 

“The skull seemed to pause at this and quickly reconsidered its position.”

 

“If you need to pick a name then just use your name from when you were alive, when you were a leveler,” said Rain. “You did not lose that in death.”

 

“I suppose since you are mortal you require mortal follies as pathetic as they are. Fine.”

 

“Mm too slow. I've thought of a new name for you,” said Opal tapping a finger to her lip in deep thought.

 

“I'm not letting a bottom grade monster such as you name me. No. I was the greatest Necromancer of my century, a scourge upon the lands feared by all for my undead armies, conqueror of unending walled cities, an unparalleled master of graves, my name such as it was when I was alive was Va-” 

 

“Your name is Boner!”

 

“My name is not Boner!!”

 

“Too late, I said it first, it's just your name now.”

 

“Don't worry,” said Red dully, “You get used to it.”

 

“You will not name me, the most powerful necromancer of an entire century, Boner!” said Boner.

 

“You lost, remember Boner? The winner takes the spoils and you are the spoils.”

 

“Naming is not spoils! I-

 

“You responded to the name! That makes it official!”

 

The green flames in the skull’s eyes were starting to sputter and spark with fury by this point.

 

“You have a very unique talent for being incredibly infuriating Goblin.”

 

“What was your name when you were alive?” Said Rain as Lyra continued to dart around his body furiously working her needle.

 

“My name was Vash the Reaper. I would appreciate not being called the insane Goblin’s suggestion.”

 

“Watch your words with her Vash, you live for the moment only by my whim.”

 

“Er… right.”

 

Opal bounded forward and scooped the skull up with her sleeve covered hands. Genuine concern appeared in Vash’s flame eyes at this development.

 

“Hey, maybe I can still use Boner as a weapon! All I need is a stick to put him on and I can hit things with him!”

 

“D-don’t you dare! You dam d-” his eyes shifted to Rain, Rain’s eyes were narrowed. “I would take it kindly if you did not do that,” Vash amended.

 

“Good” growled Rain. “Keep in mind that I can also find an open public cesspit and throw you inside of it. You can then live out the centuries trapped in a perpetual storm of shit.”

 

The skull actually appeared to shudder in Opal’s hands at that suggestion. “Eurgh, what a terrible fate. I think I would prefer being powdered. In any case you have nothing to fear from me, I sincerely promise.”

 

Opal turned the skull over and looked it in the eyes. She smiled mischievously. Vash started to wonder if the shit pit option was really so bad.

 

Half an hour later Lyra was done and Rain was freed from her hyper-focused sewing. He stretched his limbs, checking the clothing wouldn't tear, and then nodded at the sheep girl. 

 

“It’s good.”

 

Lyra blushed a little pink but looked pleased.

 

“We’re going down to the town. Red and Opal, you will stay here, Lyra will come with me.”

 

“What? No way in hell am I being left behind. Screw that.”

 

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“It’s dangerous and you aren’t needed for this. Goblins are in constant danger around levelers.”

 

“Don’t care still coming. If it’s levelers that are the problem then I can be your slave!”

 

Rain’s eye twitched a little hearing that. “I really don’t like that idea Opal, you nearly became a slave for real, I had to rescue you, remember?”

 

“I’d just be a fake slave obviously, but more importantly you could be my master.” The Goblin girl wiggled her hips and flicked her sleeves. “Just complete control and power over me and then you roughly pin me down and-”

 

“A slave could work, if she is willing, Goblin slaves are really common, she won’t attract a second glance,” said Lyra.

 

“See, it’s fine!”

 

“Alright you can come. Red will stay however.”

 

Rain approached Red and grabbed up his chain then pushed at the massive wardrobe, tipping it up and then dropping and kicking the end of the chain underneath before setting it back down. 

 

“Uhm. What if you guys don't come back?” said Red worriedly.

 

“Then you starve and die.” said Rain.

 

“...oh.”

 

“Don’t worry, there's food in the cupboards, look,” said Lyra, opening one of the cupboards. The interior walls were covered in runes, preservation runes, as was made obvious by the fresh contents which included fruits and meats. 

 

Lyra picked up a whole cooked chicken and put in Red’s claws who had wandered over to see. 

 

He looked at the chicken and then scented it with interest. Then he lifted it to his mouth and took a bite.

 

“S’good,” he mumbled from around a mouthful before burying his face back in it.

 

“I won’t be able to use my real name while in Lynthia. Someone may recognise it,” said Rain

 

“That is true, uhm, I did think that you would need some kind of cover. I was thinking that maybe you could pretend to be a wealthy merchant travelling between towns with valuables to trade and are staying at the Ranker’s mansion as his guest. We uh, have access to quite a lot of things to sell.” Lyra gestured around her broadly.

 

“Fine. Gather what you think we will need… and bring the skull too.”

 

Opal and Lyra busied themselves. They managed to find a new pack from somewhere, which was fortunate as the crude Goblin pack and the ragged ancient levelers pack were not suitable as something a rich merchant might use for their precious goods. They quickly stuffed it with things Lyra thought that a merchant might have, mostly gold and treasure, and then dropped the pack on Opal’s back. Opal, of course, being Rain’s ‘slave’ was now the designated carrier of valuables. The Goblin had a moment where she almost changed her mind in coming when Rain made her take off her weapons and discard the warm fur-lined coat, much to her annoyance. In the end though she decided being left behind was the inferior option. She dumped the blades and coat in Red’s greasy with chicken claws and ordered him to protect them with his life.

 

They had to hurry to catch up to Rain who had left the Ranker’s quarters and had made his way back to the lobby. They found him kicking aside broken furniture from view of the windows and covering over blood stains with the remaining whole furniture. He had also replaced the doors with doors he had torn out from elsewhere in the mansion. 

 

Lyra gave him a questioning look.

 

“If there happens to be anyone who comes to check on this place I don't want to make it too easy for them to tell something is wrong.”

 

It didn't take long to finish and they were soon outside and headed toward the main gates, or rather what was left of them. They had taken quite a lot of damage with Rain's passage. 

 

“Hey, hey, why don't you use your dumb leveler magic to fix it,” said Opal, repeatedly elbowing Lyra in the side.

 

“Stop that! And no, I can't, it needs to be within my range when it happens and something as violent as what Rain did would have broken the Skill anyway.”

 

“It’s fine,” said Rain as he brought a massive paw down on the iron. The metal shrieked as he curled his digits and squeezed and bent it back into position. Then he tweaked it, adjusting the metal using the sheer strength he could exert to straighten every slim iron bar. He then lifted each gate and put it back on the hinges. Surprisingly, by the time he was done someone would have to look a lot closer than they otherwise would to notice that the gates had been recently smashed open. 

 

It wouldn't hold up to serious inspection, but Rain wasn’t too worried. The Ranker’s infamous reputation tended to keep people away from the mansion as much they could possibly manage.

 

The three of them set off down the trail leading into the woods and toward town, the morning light dappling through the trees patterning the path with leafy shadow and a comfortable warmth.

 

As they walked a muffled voice spoke up.

 

“Would someone mind filling me in on what precisely is happening here. I do not care for mortal affairs but I sense that waking up in a bloodstained mansion may have some relevance to my future safety.”

 

Rain turned his head to look at Opal’s pack from where the voice had come. 

 

“Why did we take the creepy skull with us?” said Lyra.

 

“Because I don’t trust him alone with Red.”

 

Opal nodded her head wisely. “Boner could whisper evil things in Red's ear and then Red might throw away my stuff. It’s better Red is left dumb and innocent. Huh, I wonder if I could trade Boner in for a new sword...” 

 

“Stop calling me that! And please don't trade me, levelers do not take kindly to the undead… Really, where are we going?”

 

“Uhm, we’re going to the local dungeon town, Rain’s going to pretend to be a leveler to find some people he is after.”

 

“... you are joking right? Literally nobody is going to believe that. Have you even seen that brute of a monster?”

 

Rain growled. “Speaking of seeing, how did you see bloodstains in the mansion when you were inside of my pack?”

 

“Hmmph. Simple enough, I do not rely on miserable mortal eyeballs, I can see well enough from where I am.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

The group soon made their way through the woods and joined the main road to the town gates. As they approached Lyra decided it best if she approached first so as to not immediately scare the guard. Rain and Opal dropped off the side of the road and disappeared into the trees.

 

Lyra drew in a steadying breath and marched toward the front gate, a large heavy stone thing with crenelations and an open portcullis. An Elven guard with curly hair stood nearby, casually leaning against the wall. Lyra considered the bored look of the Elf a promising sign, that and the entrance gate appeared to be deserted apart from him. It did look vulnerable to attack although that was likely misleading. She didn't doubt the guard had some manner of magical backup plan, if he had expensive truth lenses, such as the spectacles hanging from a chain around his neck, then he likely had other things too.

 

As she neared the guard looked up and then slowly came to attention, pushing from the wall and stepping out into the road. 

 

“Business in town?”

 

“I’m here with my friend, he’s a merchant looking to trade and buy things in Lynthia.”

 

The Elf squinted at her then looked to either side of her. There was no one else there. 

 

“Are you pulling my leg or is your friend invisible? I don't sense any magic around you but are you really going to make me put these spectacles on? They give me a headache.”

 

“Ah, not quite. My friend is mm, on the large side, he’s of a race not often seen around here, I didn't want to spook you right away.”

 

The guard rolled his eyes. “What is he? A Minotaur? Come on, stop wasting my time.”

 

Lyra bit her lip but made a waving motion at the nearby woods. The trees shook as Rain pushed aside a large branch in passing and emerged out. Opal popped up beside him.

 

“What the FUCK is that!” The guard frantically grabbed at his spear and pointed it toward Rain.

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