Chapter 56: Chapter 51

'This time, it's not going to happen. I have practically put myself in a dangerous situation. I've gotten too close to Lucy and now I feel that I am influencing her in a negative way. Imagine if this goes further. I'm going to get in trouble with the law. What will her parents think? I sure hope what Lucy said was an exaggeration. Every parent should love their child no matter what. Maybe that's what she needs. She needs her parent's attention, and maybe I'm the one getting in the way of it. That must be it. Lucy is having trouble at home and ignoring her parents. I'm a replacement of sorts, in some strange way. But... what about the dream? No, there has to be a logical explanation. I'm sure somewhere out there is a story we read but can't recall. That has to be it. In any case, I have to be considerate of Lucy's feelings and tell her the truth. Tell her to go home and talk to her parents about this. I'm just an emotional crutch, not the cure. That's what I'll tell her.”

With his clothes on, his hair brushed, and his shoes tied, Johan stepped out of his room and headed for the front door.

"Wait, Johan," he heard Wendy as they approached him. "Johan, I want to say something."

"Wendy, I'm about to leave now. I don't have time for anything you have to say."

"It can't wait. I just want to say something. Look, I know you are going through things right now. I don't know what it is, and you clearly don't want to talk about it, but I just want you to know that you can talk to me about anything you want."

"Wendy, I have to go now."

"Please, don't get the wrong idea about my meddling. It's not that I want to get into your affairs. It's just that... well... we're friends, right?"

"Wendy, stop worrying about me. Besides, I've finally realized what I have to do, and I got to do it now before it's too late."

"Really? What is it?"

"That's a private matter."

"Really? So this is it?"

"Pretty much. Now I have to go."

“Really?”

“Yes, now please...”

"Wait, Johan, before you go, I just want to say that whatever it is that you are going through, please, no matter what, just be happy."

"What?"

"I was thinking hard about what is going on, but I came to the conclusion that you should find your happiness. No matter where it is, go and search for it."

"What kind of advice is that?"

"I really don't know how to explain it, but it's the only thing I could figure out. Johan, no matter what, be happy."

With a blank stare on his face. he turned around, "Goodbye, Wendy," and closed the door.

When he stepped down into the sidewalk, 'My happiness is gone, and everyone took it away. Your advice means nothing. Everything I ever loved and respected is in the past. Unless you can turn back time, nothing else will make me happy.'

--

It was practically a ritual at this point; going to the same spot every time he visited the train station to meet up with Lucy, and just as before, his anxiety tagged along. 'This time, it's officially over. Just get it over with, okay? Just tell her outright what you thought of this morning. I'm sure she will finally understand if I explain about her parents. After all, she was prepared to accept my rejection the last time we were together. This time, I have to be strong. I have to be a man and let her know that this is the last time.'

He arrived at the meetup with Lucy waited for him at the same spot as always.

 

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But unlike before, today Lucy wore a curious blouse that was fancier than her usual attire.

"A friend let me borrow it,” she commented. “I don't have anything this nice. Do you like it? I wanted to wear something special for today."

After a moment of silence, Johan responded, “Oh, yes, I think it looks great, but don't you think this is a bit excessive for today?”

“Well, I figured since it's a special day, I should wear something more than just my usual clothes.”

“Special day?” Johan repeated to himself in a concerned manner. “Yes, it looks pretty on you.”

Lucy giggled as she covered her mouth, "Thank you. I'm kind of embarrassed to be honest. I never wore anything like this."

Johan felt as if his body was tightening, contracting within himself. Taking a deep breath, "I have to tell you something, and it can't wait anymore."

"Before that, let me say something first."

"No, it's best that I start."

Lucy grabbed his hand, "Johan, I want to thank you for everything."

"No, Lucy, stop right there."

"You have no idea how much this means to me. When I thought you never wanted to see me again, I felt like my life was going to be destroyed."

"No, Lucy..."

"But when you felt equally bad as I did, I realized that it was I who was going to destroy your life. I never thought I meant so much to you." Johan froze in place, not able to interrupt as Lucy's smile had a hypnotic effect on him. "Johan, I know this is weird. I mean, it's weird for me as this is my first time going out on a... you know. And with an adult of all people, but... I've never felt so happy in my life. I'm so happy right now that..." She took her hand off of his to turn around and wipe the tears coming from her eyes. "I swore I wouldn't cry; I really did."

As the tears streamed down on her face, Johan put his hand on her shoulder causing her to turn around. With a handkerchief on hand, he wiped her cheeks. "Lucy, I'm happy to have met you too. You have no idea how much you mean to me." These unexpected words surprised her so much that she started to turn her head away, but he put his hand on her chin. "Lucy, please don't cry, because I'll always be here for you."

Though everyone around them went about their business, to Lucy the world stopped in that moment as she stood there watching Johan give her a warm and gentle smile. She eventually got the courage to speak, "If you promise me that you will always be with me, I promise I won't cry."

"I promise."

With the last of her tears wiped away, Johan stood upright.

Together they started walking out of the train station and all the while, Johan thought to himself, 'What just happened?'

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