To say I am extremely woried about this is an understatement, I’ve never played D/D/D before. My only experience with it was reading the cards and laughing about a deck needing a combo spreadsheet to learn how to play it. Then every meta deck got a spreadsheet…
I look at my hand to see what I’m working with.
[Standby Phase, Main Phase 1]
Now if you are asking if I remember the spreadsheet… I don’t and, in my infinite wisdom, I've done zero research about modern D/D/D with my knowledge of the deck boiling down to ‘Gilgamesh’ broken, ‘Genghis’ go brrrr, and ‘Machinex’ end board.
So with this in mind, I start my turn. “To start, I’ll activate the effect of ‘D/D Lamia’, by sending ‘D/D Proud Ogre’ from my hand to the grave I special summon lamia in defense position.”
A person sized lamia clad in red, white and dark blue scales emerges. She holds her arms in a cross, defending against attacks.
My opponent is looking intensely at the board, but a few seconds go by and she doesn’t respond to the summon, so I continue.
“Next I’ll use the effect of ‘D/D Swirl Slime’ using it and ‘D/D Savant Thomas’ as fusion materials! FUSION SUMMON!”
After sending both cards to the grave, the two monsters briefly appear on the field before merging with each other into a dark purple light.
“ARISE! ‘D/D/D Flame King Genghis!’”
A figure cloaked in flames walks out from under the light. It wields a large great sword and a roman shield, which shimmer with the flames that surround the figure.
“I’ll activate the effect of ‘D/D Swirl Slime’ from the graveyard, special summoning a card from my hand by banishing itself. I special summon ‘D/D Savant Kepler’ in defense position.”
I place the card on the duel blade and a mechanical character slowly rises from a portal on the ground.
As my opponent stood looking at her duel disk screen, I continued the duel. ‘Strange how her personality shifts when she’s dueling… Do I also do that? If I do, I hope I don’t look so… Creepy.’
“Now that I special summoned a D/D monster, the effect of Genghis activates, allowing me to target a D/D monster from the grave and special summon it, I target ‘D/D Proud Ogre.’ But, before that, I chain the effect of ‘D/D Savant Kepler’ adding a ‘Dark Contract’ card from my—”
The green-haired cheerleader suddenly looks up from her disk and interrupts. “Not so fast! I activate my trap card! ‘Phantom Knights’ Fog Blade!’ Targeting Kepler and negating its effect. Take that!”
From her trap card, various spirits emerge that surround Kepler.
‘Tch, ok then, but I think I can still continue.’
“Chain link 1 Genghis effect resolves, special summoning ‘D/D Proud Ogre’ from the grave.”
A large monster clad in sparse metal armour and wielding a giant axe comes out to the field.
“Next, I tune level 1 tuner ‘D/D Lamia’ with level 1 ‘D/D Savant Kepler’ and level 6 ‘D/D Proud Ogre’ to synchro summon! Come on out! Level 8 ‘D/D/D Cursed King Siegfried!’”
D/D Lamia turns into a single ring of green light while both D/D Savant Kepler and D/D Proud Ogre turn into 1 and 6 spheres of green light, respectively. The Ring surrounds the seven spheres before a pillar of green light consumes the arrangement. The light show ends with a tall knight in glorious silver armour and a red scarf wielding a body sized great sword walking out from the pillar.
“With this I set a card face down before activating the effect of Seigfried, targeting the field spell ‘Orcustrated Babel.’”
“Not going to happen! I activate my other trap card ‘Phantom Knights’ Fog Blade’ negating the effects of Seigfried! You will not cancel out my magnificent tower with cheap cards like that!”
‘… Ok then, first, Seigfried only negates till the standby phase… So I was doing it just for this turn… Second… CHEAP? I beg your pardon, these cards were anything BUT CHEAP!’ I wanted to yell out, but I maintain my calm attitude to not give anything away.
“Doesn’t matter! Battle!” I announce.
[Battle Phase]
“Seigfried attac-”
[“*BZZZZZ* Seigfried can’t attack.”] I’m interrupted by a warning on my duel disk.
“What?!” I inadvertently shout out.
“HAHAHAHA, looks like you can’t read! As Siegfried is affected by fog blade, it can’t attack!” She explains.
‘Hey! I’m a YGO player. We’re FAMOUS for not knowing how to read!’ I joke in my head.
“Very well, I end my turn.” I say before realizing the mistake I just made.
‘I should’ve used Genghis to summon Machinex… I even have a card for it to use its effect…’
[Main Phase 2, End Phase]
That left me in the very precarious position of having no negates against an unexpectingly decent opponent.
‘Shit, I just hope she can’t finish me off here… I only wanted to humble this chick. Why am I the one getting a good dose of humble stew…?’
[Draw Phase]
“Looks like it’s my turn. DRAW!” she announces.
She looks at her hand and pauses the automatic duel phase progression, signifying she has something to do in the draw phase.
“I activate the effect of ‘Orcust Cymbal Skeleton!’ By banishing it, I revive ‘Galatea’ from the grave!”
I look at the field and decide to respond. “I’ll chain my trap card, ‘Dark Contract with errors’, by activating it, it negates the effects of all face up trap cards excluding itself. This negates both fog blades!”
The spirits around Seigfried disappear.
“Chain link 1 ‘Galatea’ returns to the field! I activate its effect to shuffle ‘Orcust Cymbal Skeleton’ to the deck.”
I interrupt again. “Before that, I activate the effect of Seigfried, targeting ‘Orcustrated Babel’ and negating it for the rest of the turn.”
She flinches. “Fine, I didn’t need that card, anyway! Galatea’s effect continues, and I set the trap card ‘Orcustrated Climax’ from the deck.”
I smirk. “For not needing that card, you were weirdly keen on not getting it negated last turn.”
“IT DOESN’T MATTER!” she yells and manually progresses the duel phase.
[Standby Phase, Main Phase 1]
“Using the effect of ‘Bardiche’, I send ‘The Phantom Knights of Ancient Cloak’ from the deck to the graveyard to set the trap card ‘The Phantom Knights of Shade Brigantine’ from the deck. Now I use Galatea to build the overlay network!”
‘Here comes another…’
“XYZ Summon! Emerge! ‘Dingirsu, the Orcust of the Evening Star!’”
Another towering automaton rises from the whirlpool of darkness. Standing in the field with its comrade-in-arms. The image of the two gigantic monsters is all I can see in front of me.
‘The worst-case scenario… It’s here.’
“As a monster has just been special summoned to a zone it points to, Phantom Knights Bardiche’s effect activates, targeting Jet Synchron for destruction. I then Chain Dingirsu’s on summon effect! Sending ‘D/D/D Cursed King Siegfried’ to the grave! The chain resolves!”
That it did, sending my only monster she couldn’t attack over to the graveyard. ‘Why didn’t I summon Machinex? It would’ve fixed everything!’ I complained in my head.
“I detach a material from Dingirsu to negate Jet Synchron’s destruction.” She continues.
‘Why is she wasting Dingirsu’s effect like that? Bardiche’s effect isn’t mandatory, is it? “During your main phase: you can send…” So it’s not. Why is she wasting that effect, then?’
Before I could come up with a good reason for her to be wasting such a good effect, I get something else to worry about.
“I change Jet Synchron to attack position. Battle!”
[Battle Phase]
“Dingirsu! Attack ‘D/D/D Flame King Genghis!’ Feel the wrath of the CSG!”
The towering automaton drifts its spear and pierces Genghis’ armour. My monster stands still, taking the attack before shattering into flaming metal shards, which then fly in my direction.
“Shit!” I yell, holding my arms up to protect my face.
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Various pieces of hot metal hit me before disappearing entirely. The place where they hit sizzle as my skins burns from the flaming shrapnel.
“GRRRR,” I groan and fall on one knee. The pain isn’t as bad as it sounds, mostly localized to where the shrapnel hit, but I was expecting a shock, not this.
[LP: 7400]
“Giving me the knee already, are you? I gave you a chance to run away, but you decided to face me. NOW SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES! Attack my monsters!”
I would cringe at what she’s saying if I didn’t have other things to worry about, like the living jet engine that just fired off a fireball at me…
I brace myself to take the attack; the fireball explodes a few meters away from where I kneel, but the blast knocks me over.
“ARHG!” I wail, hitting the floor on my back.
[LP: 6900]
Before getting up, I hold myself up by the arms to try to see what’s coming next. To my horror, I find ‘Bardiche’ standing opposite to me, holding up its massive axe.
It swings the massive weapon around, firing an energy slash.
I don’t have time to get up before I get hit by it straight in the belly.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” I scream, while rolling around on the floor, covering the bleeding gash it just left on my body.
[LP: 4800]
I use almost all the strength I have left to prompt myself up, confronting the hulking automaton which still hasn’t attacked. I’m hunched over with my right hand holding onto my wound.
The last monster finally delivers its attack, pointing its spear in my direction.
I taunt the unfeeling monster. “Come on, fucker, do your worst!” And look away.
…
…
…
‘Where is the attack?’ I look a back for a second just to spot a beam of energy shot from its spear.
“Shit!” I yell.
The beam lands, sending a powerful shock coursing through my body.
[LP: 2200]
————
I barely stay conscious, for that effect the pain of the other injuries help, but that’s a rosy way of putting it, it’s been about a minute after she delivered the attack and other than ignoring her shit talk I’ve been trying to calm down. The thing is… I have nothing that can break that board and my field is empty…
‘Stupid, stupid, I should’ve never tried something this stupid, running a deck that I barely know in a real solid vision duel… That’s how penta summoners get killed.’
“So, pig, are you going to draw your card or just surrender? Because as much as I love seeing you suffering there, this has to end one way or another.”
I look at my duel disk and then back at the field. ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’
“Draw.” I draw my card.
‘Good, a reminder of the deck I shouldn’t have picked…’
[Standby Phase]
[“Effect of ‘Dark Contract with errors’ activates”]
“ARHH!!” I shout in pain from the resulting electric shock.
[LP: 1200LP]
‘That… That can happen.’
I'm too exhausted to even be bothered the pain. It just wakes me up.
[Yuumi: 1200LP]
[Anna: 4000LP]
[Main Phase 1]
Looking at my hand and then the field, I try to figure something out.
‘With Kepler, I can search for a dark contract. The question is, what dark contract? She has two Dingirsu with no materials, which means AA-Zeus can be an option. But then what? I lose in the next turn either way. I could attack Jet, she only has 4000LP, but that only deals 2500LP of damage, and I lose the next turn! Fucking hell, if only I could get a monster with more attac… Wait…’
A possible path to victory opens up in my mind. ‘I can use that… But what if it doesn’t work like I expect!? I lose! That’s what I hate about playing new decks. You think you can do shit and then you try it and it doesn’t work! Normally, I'm playing against a bot or a friend, but here my life's on the line!’
Still, I have no better plan, so, against my better judgement, I decide to go for it. “I normal summon ‘D/D Savant Kepler’ and, using it’s on summon effect, add ‘Dark Contract with the Swamp king’ from the deck to my hand.” I confidently announce.
The cheery cheerleader moves in to banter about it. “Searching for options, are we? You know, the surrender button is right there…”
I steady myself. “Don’t think so. I activate the continuous spell ‘Dark Contract with the Swamp King!’”
A single tombstone rises from the ground and turns the surrounding area into a dark swamp. The sludge gradually climbs the tombstone before distinct eyes form and hands separate out of the ambulant sludge.
“Using the effect of ‘Dark Contract with the Swamp King’ I use ‘D/D/D Flame King Genghis’ and ‘D/D/D Cursed King Siegfreid’ as fusion materials! Fusion summon!”
The monsters I specified come as ghosts above the swampy land before descending into the sludge. From there, a bring violet light rises.
‘Come on, I have one chance.’ “Arise! ‘D/D/D Wave Oblivion King Caesar Ragnarok!’”
Bright light burst and I don’t dare look away. This is my only opportunity for victory. If this doesn’t work, I don’t have a back-up plan.
The light finally calms down and a massive purple titan with massive horns and metal blades stands before me.
“Battle! I will finish this now!” I shout.
“HAHAHAHAHA! Not only can’t you read, but your math is also dreadful! How do you plan to win here exactly?”
“Laugh while you still can. ‘Ragnarok!’ Attack Jet synchron!”
My opponent laughs. “And that’s you defeated, congratulations you just used your only attack on the monster that only gives me an advantage for being in the grave!”
I smile. “Don’t think so. I activate the effect of King Caesar! By returning ‘Dark Contract with the Swamp King’ to my hand, I can equip one of your monsters to him. I’ll take one of your Dingirsu’s.”
My monster surrounds one of her Dingirsu’s with a dark energy, making it wail in pain before being completely enshrouded by the darkness. The energy moves to encircle King Caesar, but this time the monster absorbs the energy, making it grow to match the monster that it absorbed and raising its attack to 5800.
She quickly panics. “WHAT? NONONONONO, THAT HAS TO BE A MISTAKE!”
“I’m afraid not!” I rebut. “King Caesar! Continue your attack and end this!”
The hulking titan pulls his arm back to deliver a tremendous punch that hits Jet Synchron, shattering it into many pieces of sharp metal shrapnel. Before my opponent has the chance to surrender, they hit, causing terrible wounds all over her body.
She uses her arms to protect her face, much like I did, but that only causes more wounds to open up on her arms. Eventually, she collapses.
[Anna: -1300LP]
[WINNER: YUUMI MATSUNAGA!] The message shows on my disk.
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