CHAPTER 7 - THE BEGINNING OF WAR

Barney sat in Monro's office. The president was bandaged on his arm and shoulder while Barney himself had bandages on his head, a reminder of the events at the UN. They enjoyed their time with the best caviar and champagne. The struggle at the UN Council was repeatedly shown on TV. The exchange between Barney and Aswad was highlighted. Monro hugged Barney and said:

“You are a great guy, Barney. You showed Aswad who the lion is and who the mouse is. Now Aswad, the mouse, is trembling with fear from every lion like me and like you. Tell me a joke Barney, something funny about the Selected Democratic Organization.”

Barney reviewed some jokes in his mind but did not find anything. He tried again to remember but gave up and improvised a joke.

“Three vampires from the Selected Democratic Organization compete who sucks the most blood. The first vampire, who receives a disability pension, goes off comes out and returns after a while with very little blood on his lips. The other two ask where he got the blood, and he says:

“Do you see that tree? Behind it there’s a building with some people inside”.

The second vampire, who receives an income supplement goes off and after a while returns with more blood than the previous vampire does, so the other two ask him where he got that blood, and he answers:

“You see that tree far away? Behind it there are two buildings with lots of people in them.”

The third, who was a homeless vampire, goes off and immediately returns loaded with blood so the other ask:

“So much blood so fast? What happened?”

He tells them: “You see that tree? I didn’t.”

Monro cracked up laughing. He waved towards Barney with a jocular threat and screamed:

“Three blood suckers from the Selected Democratic Organization, ah? The first – receives disability pension, the second- income supplement and the third-a homeless, these are the bloodsuckers of the Selected Democratic Organization. You are great, a giant, and a genius.”

Monro raised his glass and clinked it to Barney’s with a warm blessing, hugged him like a sweet and loving father, patted his back and continued with a serious or maybe an amused tone:

“One day you will become the President of the Selected Democratic Organization and I'll be the first one to recommend you. You are the man who kicked Aswad’s ass.”

Barney’s breath stopped from pleasure and self-importance, and he smiled with satisfaction and joy. He never believed that he would get that far. Monro was busy with his cell phone conversation with one of his assistants who reported to him about the actions taken at his companies and about additional purchases of Hi-Tech companies with which he was about to close a deal without regarding Barney. Suddenly Barney foresaw the future in which he made an unforgettable speech as the Democratic President in front of the UN and was applauded by the audience who gave him a standing ovation. The NBC TV reporter announced breaking news related to the Selected Democratic Organization and the Free Islamic Forces.

“Our reporter at the Free Islamic Forces, Jorge Behaiback, reports this very minute from the Straits of Borassus which separate the territories of the Democratic Organization from the territories of the Islamic Forces.”

The camera moves towards the marine area where warships of the Free Islamic Forces cross the bay, keeping foreign ships and especially ships of the Selected Democratic Organization from sailing through the straits.

“At this very moment we are informed that Aswad, the Islamic President, closed the Straits of Borassus to the passage of ships, merchandise, and equipment due to the threats of the Democratic Organization to harm the Free Islamic Forces. Every ship or any other type of sea craft that carries merchandise or equipment from and to the Selected Democratic Organization will be prohibited from entering the straits. Any sea craft that tries to enter by force and confront Aswad, will be sunk without mercy.”

The Foreign Minister, Defense Minister, Chief of Staff and Prof. Cheers along with Barney rushed into Monro’s office at the Parliament and tried to interrupt Monro’s business conversation. He refused to stop and was angry with the others who screamed at him while the CNN team entered his office.

“Mr. President, you must watch TV. There is important breaking news regarding the Islamic forces...we don’t...”

Monro rudely pushed the CNN team aside with his body while he continued talking on the phone and screamed at them:

“I don’t care about TV, and I don’t care about Aswad, the mouse. Do not interrupt me. This is an important call.”

Luckily, Monro glanced at the TV and was astonished to see the threatening pictures. He ended his phone call and got closer to the screen to see what was going on. He hit his dining table with a karate chop and screamed with uncontrollable anger while the CNN team shot Monro’s reaction.

“You crazy Aswad, you closed the Borassus Straits. This is tantamount to a declaration of war against the Selected Democratic Organization.” He turned to the Minister of Defense and took his arm with decisiveness “Our response is to send all the warships into the bay and put our army on war alert.”

“But Mr. President, every action against the Free Islamic Forces should be made at a government meeting. Maybe we should convene a meeting...” Monro screamed:

 “Fuck you and the government together and separately. This is an emergency. We do not have time for a government meeting. We must immediately react with force. The government will approve it later on and do not forget to send all our ships there. Prepare them for the elimination of the entire Free Islamic Forces marine corps. We will get them.” The Chief of Staff hesitated.

“But this is impossible. Our submarines are in the Mediterranean. They can do nothing…if…”

“I couldn't care less. I want the submarines in the bay, start bombing, fuck Aswad.”

Barney responded.

 “Mr. President, there is no passage from the Mediterranean to the Borassus. Submarines cannot fly and land on the Persian Gulf.”  Monro lost it.

“What? Are you all against me? Immediately load the submarines in planes and land them by the bay. Our great army can do anything. Don’t forget the war between the North and the South, the Second World War, Vietnam War, Cambodian War, World War, Star War, the Galactic War. This is our army, the Democratic army, the greatest of all.”

The Minister of Defense responded in a shaky voice:

“Mr. President, you know that our army is no longer mandatory service. Many years ago, it was decided that the army would employ only paid volunteers and that is because 75% of the youth evaded the draft. Those who remained were unsuitable. Today we do not have a large enough army to fight a war. We are going to get screwed BIG TIME.”

The angry Monro had no response. Barney got scared when he looked at him, secretly winked at him and laughed hysterically.

“Our Democratic army has been and will always be the best  in the world. Even when we were attacked, we won all wars. Do you need soldiers? We lack foot soldiers, artillery corps, tank crews, pilots, and commandos, the Marines, Kung Fu, Aikido, Karate and Jiu Jitsu. Recruit all the unemployed and the homeless. Recruit all those who receive disability and do not forget those who receive supplementary incomes. We will pay them twice as much and you will be surprised to see how happy they are fighting in fire and water. Even when we had nothing, we won. Let them all train for a day and they will defeat every army in the world and in the galaxies,” he sighed with frustration. “You are lucky that you have Monro, the admired leader, the supreme general, the one who solves all your problems. Thanks to me, the great Monro, the Giant, the supreme leader, we will vanquish everyone.”

Barney was shocked. He could not believe his ears. Monro took his own joke and turned it into strategy? Barney planned to warn and protest but he saw that everyone else agreed with the magician Monro, the super magician, so he  remained silent.

Aswad sat with Band-aids on his face in his fancy office with his consultants and government ministers who enjoyed their time eating sweet Arabic pastries and drinking Arak. They stopped conversing when the TV broadcast Monro’s hysterical reaction.

Aswad became furious and whispered to his Foreign Minister:

 “Call the CNN, I have an important message...”

The CNN team near the office quickly arrived, prepared the cameras for transmission, and announced that they were ready.

“Dear Islamic Forces, dear viewers, Monro, the President of the Selected Democratic Organization, announced that he was sending war ships to the bay and in addition he declared war on the Free Islamic Forces. We won’t be silent or beg before the Selected Democratic Organization.”

 He whispered to his Minister of Defense:  “Start gathering the Free Islamic Army in the “Fata Morgana” desert opposite the pathetic forces of the Democrats. We are starting a doomsday war against the army of the Democratic Organization.”

The CNN reporter asked the poker-faced Aswad:

“What is your response to the events, Mr. Aswad? Is it related to the things you just whispered to your defense minister?”

Aswad smiled with indifference.

“We are not afraid of the Selected Democratic Organization. We shall respond accordingly. Soon enough you will understand what is going to happen.”

Shilton , who had  bandages on his neck and eye, a reminder of the struggle at the UN, watched the CNN broadcast regarding the Free Islamic Forces and the Selected Democratic Organization with astonishment, stopped necking with his new secretary and ordered her, saying:

“Call Monro and Aswad. I must talk to them immediately on a video conference call.”

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The secretary showed dissatisfaction since he stopped petting her and did what she was told.

“Mr. Aswad and Mr. Monro are ready for a conference call” she tried again to get all over him, but he pushed her away.

“The honorable, Mr. Aswad, the President of the Islamic Forces and Mr. Monro, the President of the Democratic Organization, how are you?”

“Thank you, Mr. Shilton .” Monro answered. He was disgusted at seeing Aswad’s face.

“Thank you, Mr. Shilton ” answered Aswad who felt disgust seeing Monro’s face.

Shilton  continued:

“Dear friends, I was deeply saddened to hear about this difficult situation between you. I ask and beg you to think rationally and to stop this conflict. I am indeed very busy at this moment with other political issues, but I promise to help you as much as I can.  Calm down. You are behaving disgracefully.”

Monro cut him off.

“I couldn’t care less; this mentally ill Aswad closed the borders and that constitutes a declaration of war against the Democratic Organization. We are reacting in the same token. I declare war on the Islamic Forces. May Aswad go to hell!”

Monro hung up the phone with disgust and disappeared from the conference call. Aswad burst out with a naïve and tormented facial expression.

“I am sorry, Mr. Shilton . We closed the straits because we had no choice. I did not declare war on the Democratic Organization since I currently prefer to resolve this issue peacefully, but you saw Monro’s reaction. He is insane and therefore he declares war on the Free Islamic Forces. That was always his intention - to conquer the Islamic Forces. Similar to the intention of the Democratic Organization many years ago to conquer Israel, South Korea, Cambodia and other countries. He never agrees and cannot stand a situation in which we do not agree to become his puppet government like Iraq, Dubai, Saudi Arabia, Israel, Singapore, and Hong Kong. Monro has long awaited the right moment to declare a war on the Islamic Forces. Mike Satanic’s escape was his excuse. The Democratic Organization wants to fight the Islamic Forces and to conquer it and, in that manner, to continue its capitalistic, democratic conquering ideology with his Zionist, Israeli friends. This is the realization of Monro’s prophecy. Regretfully, we cannot turn the clock back since Monro and the Democratic Organization declared war.”

Aswad hung up and disappeared from the screen. Barney and the honorable people in the office stared at each other with despair and helplessness. They glanced at Monro like lost sheep that hoped their shepherd could bring them home safely. Barney was worried and prayed like everyone else that the situation was just a nightmare and not a reality.

“There won’t be a war Mr. President, right? I’m sure the government will find a solution to offer Aswad.”

Monro scared everyone with his hateful facial expression.

He looked like he was in a different world and spoke to himself:

“The Democratic Organization has the strongest army in the world. Anyone who tries to tease us will be struck down. Aswad is the new Bigler, and he will pay for his crimes against the Democratic Organization and against humanity. Just as the Israelis did to the enemy, Biknan, in the same manner Aswad will be hanged in Times Square or at the White House or maybe in Hollywood, in the film studio and a movie will be made out of him.”

Everyone looked like chilled gefilte fish lying on the holiday table and ready to disappear into waiting stomachs. Prof. Cheers clapped her hands giving the unreal situation a special, surrealistic charm. The TV showed a young Neo-Nazi group in the city of Demos viciously abusing helpless people while the broadcaster reported that the police did not know what to do about them. Monro looked at the Neo-Nazis with indifference while Prof. Cheers praised him.

“Good for you, Mr. President. This is a war between the sons of light and the sons of darkness. Only you will win. Because that is what God ordered, when someone comes to kill you, kill him first. The hero of the Selected Democratic Organization will not slumber and will not sleep.” 

Monro pointed at the Neo-Nazis on TV and called to the Minister of Defense:

“My dear Minister of Defense. You say we do not have enough soldiers. Recruit them too. Instead of abusing the old they will abuse the soldiers of the Islamic Forces. If they don’t want Marine uniforms, as far as I’m concerned, they can wear their Nazi uniforms”.  “When the war is over, we will also eliminate the problematic ones, the unnecessary ones, the non-conformists, the gays, and lesbians, the handicapped, the sick, and the homeless. All those who are not useful, who do not produce. We will say they died in the war. We must become stronger, the weak are a burden and do harm.”

Prof. Cheers egged him on:

“You are a wise man, a genius” she started singing excitedly “Monro, is a jolly good fellow...good fellow.”

Monro thanked her with a smile, bowed slightly towards her and left the office without moving an eyelid while everyone joined her excited singing. Barney stared at all of them in disbelief, uncomprehending. He sighed quietly.

“I was certain like everyone else that he didn’t mean it... That he was joking, that he expressed himself irrationally because he was nervous and frustrated.” Night fell and covered everything with an oppressive silence. Any sane, conscientious person was tense and worried as he listened to the broadcast news and the commentators who discussed the chronology of events. Barney and Elena finished eating their dinner. The nagging thought did not let go and continued to reverberate in Barney’s head. He stared at Elena silently.

“You probably heard the radio and even saw on TV what’s going on between the Selected Democratic Organization and the Free Islamic Forces.”

“Yes, Barney, I know the situation is tense, but everyone believes that the situation will calm down once they find a peaceful solution.”

Barney chuckled, “The situation will calm down? The situation will become more fucked up. These two leaders are insane and are interested in war. I plan to call the airport today and buy you tickets to travel abroad. You will fly to a destination where we can find the earliest flight. I don't care about anyone. For me, my family is first, then my country. We got used to the country taking care of its people. It’s about time that we take care of ourselves.”  “Once there was one Bigler who caused the Second World War. Now there are two.” Elena looked at him worriedly.

“Aren’t you exaggerating, my love? I’m sure the leaders are not interested in war; in war there are no winners.”

“You are so right Elena. You are smarter than both those mad leaders. It is a pity you were not elected. Unfortunately, the war has already begun.” Barney distorted his face and looked like the angel of death. “It’s not something new on earth. It seems like everyone misses it.”

The phone rang and disturbed their silence.

 Barney listened to his mobile phone, hung up, and continued:

“Monro just called; he wants me to report to the Command Center in Demos immediately because we are at war. All vacations are frozen and there are no trips home. I and the rest of the government members must remain with Monro until further notice.”

Elena hugged him and tried to calm him down, but Barney felt her fear. They both shuddered as the television news started. The reporter announced with shooting in the background.

“Hello to our Fox viewers. . We were just informed that the army of the Selected Democratic Organization and the army of the Free Islamic Forces are arrayed against each other on the border of “Fata Morgana” desert. It seems like the decision to fight a war has already been made. Even a miracle won’t be able to prevent it.”

A breathtaking photo shoot by the communication satellites that move continuously along the 30-kilometer border of sand dunes that separate the two armies showed army forces scattered in different areas including: ground forces ready for combat, artillery, tanks, and helicopters of all kinds, standing in their places awaiting an order to advance. In addition, combat aircraft of all kinds were waiting at the two air force bases, ready for war. The war reporters analyzed the situation continuously. Barney felt numbness and confusion and suddenly held Elena’s hand.

“I don’t have a choice. I have to stay with Monro but as I previously said, I am buying you tickets to fly anywhere, preferably, as far as possible. You never know how bad it can become and how long it will take.”

Barney started pressing numbers on his cell phone, but Elena’s hand stopped him. Barney was surprised and stared at her without understanding.

“I don’t want us to be overseas while you are here. We must stay united and support one another.”

Barney snapped, “Don’t talk nonsense, you're better off overseas. A sane person should not remain here...maybe...”

Elena responded, “No, Barney, we are a family, we love you. Your fate is also our fate.”

In addition, like in unforgettable Hollywood movies, they fell into each other’s arms, hugging and kissing tenderly. They knew that they were turning a new leaf in their lives, at the mercy of an unknown fate.

 Elena sobbed and said with a trembling voice:

“I'll go upstairs to our room to prepare a small suitcase with clothes and things you'll need.”

The clock in their room showed 11 PM. Barney stood near his bedroom after kissing Elena tenderly. She was sleeping deeply as he left the room and entered the children's rooms. He also kissed them softly in order not to wake them. His expression was gloomy as he left the house for the government limousine outside. It was destined for the airport and from there to the Command Pit. He couldn't breathe or believe his eyes. He saw himself a broken man. He took his suitcase with shaking hands, looked gloomy, sad, depressed, and hopeless while thinking that this was the last time, he would see his dear and precious home before the beginning of war. He felt that his sweet home was looking back at him with a desperate and humiliated appearance as he sobbed, his tears wetting his tormented face.

 

 

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