After having a long conversation with Sarana, Laura, and my mom, I found myself in the kitchen with my face, arms, and hands all covered in flour.
The kitchen counters were all filled to the brim with ingredients like the weird cheese I found, fresh tomato sauce, sliced tomatoes, sliced onions, mushrooms, several types of herbs, and a few spices, beef, chicken, and even a bit of my homemade barbeque sauce!
I was kneading dough in one of the few available spaces in the whole kitchen. I had a small audience looking at me with admiration.
"It is actually happening! Pizza! I can't believe I'm actually going to eat it again!" Jinhee or Laura was acting like an excitable little girl and almost jumping in joy.
"Hehehe! I'm looking forward to it too!" Said Satsuki or Sarana as she lovingly hugged me from behind. Her arms were wrapped around my stomach.
I had to try my hardest to not get distracted by the soft things that were pressed against my back…
"As expected of my great-grandson, being able to cook is an essential skill in order to be a ladies' man!" Bruno, who had just returned, was nodding to himself with pride.
"I really wonder how this one is going to taste… If it is as delightful as those burgers were, then I might not be able to hold myself back!" My mom was looking at me with sparkling eyes while she was writing down what I was doing in her recipe book.
"You have no idea, sis! You're going to love it!" Laura basically jumped at my mom and hugged her tightly. She had a big smile on her face.
As you can see, despite the terrified looks both Sarana and Laura had when we discovered that my mom had been standing by the door the whole time, everything went well with the conversation we had.
Actually, I would say more that it went better than well since both Sarana and Laura said that a heavy weight had been lifted from their shoulders after they told my mom about their reincarnation.
Our long talk consisted mostly of my mom and I listening to Sarana and Laura as they told us about their previous life as Satsuki and Jinhee respectively.
It turns out that they actually were half-sisters back on Earth. They shared the same father, who was an officer in the US military that was stationed in Japan, where he met Satsuki's mother, got her pregnant, and then he left when Satsuki was 18 months old when the military moved him to Korea and cut all contact with Satsuki and her mother. Shortly after he went to live in Korea, he met Jinhee's mother and they got married. The two of them had Jinhee a year and a half later.
They didn't even know that the other existed until they both found themselves in a white void after they died on the same day. In that white void, they met the Goddess of Love, Catris, who informed Satsuki and Jinhee that they were sisters and decided to reincarnate them in this world in exchange for the two of them helping Catris when the time came.
Even though I already suspected that Catris had reincarnated them, I can't help but feel wary of Catris and her motives after what happened with Auntie… Still, I'm going to trust Lia and wait until tonight so I can get some answers. And payback. I'm definitely getting some payback from Catris.
"Julius, can you make mine with extra cheese? Ah! Put on some peppers too! And some chicken! Definitely some chicken!" Sarana said with excitement while nuzzling against my back.
Sheesh… She's really affectionate, isn't she? Even though we just met today and she's already this clingy.
It seems like Liliana, Luna, Leaf, and Mia got themselves a worthy adversary…
"Sure, no problem." I nodded as I kept kneading the pizza dough.
I didn't mind listening to Saranas' request since I was going to make as many pizzas as I possibly could since most of my family eats quite a lot, so it was fine making different types as long as we had the ingredients.
"Ooh~! I want to have some of that!" Laura said as walked over to me and looked at the pizza I was making with expectation. "I would like a pizza with a lot of beef and a lot of barbeque sauce!" She started fidgeting and shooting a few pleading glances at me.
"Very well." I said as I started to hand toss the pizza dough, causing everyone in the room to look at me with amazement.
Bruno and my mom were actually left speechless by what I was doing. Hell, I was also pretty surprised that I could still do this so naturally despite not having done this in a decade or so.
"That's so cool! Hey! Hey! How did you do that!? Can you teach me?" Laura was gently pulling my sleeve while she was practically beaming with excitement.
"Where did you learn that? Were you working as a chef in your previous life?" Sarana asked with interest.
"No, nothing as fancy as that. I worked a few part-time jobs here and there. I just happened to work in a pizzeria when I was going to uni." I replied as I placed the dough on the tray nearby and started spreading my homemade tomato sauce.
Before I died, I used to work in a pizzeria that was named after a small Roman Emperor. I'm a little surprised that I still remember what I learned while working there and that it would become so useful in another world…
"So you had a lot of part-time jobs? I'm so envious! My mom never allowed me to get one even though I wanted to give working a try!" Sarana complained before giggling.
"Hehe. Back then, my parents were against me working too. They wanted me to just focus on school and have fun with my friends without worrying about working, but I felt bad about having to ask them for money, so I was able to convince them to let me work part-time when I was 16." I said with nostalgia as I imitated a certain salty bae, sprinkling copious amounts of shredded cheese over Saranas's pizza.
"Oooh!!!" Sarana and Laura were both looking at me with admiration and pointing at me, clearly recognizing the particular way I was sprinkling the cheese.
Hehehehe, right now these two really remind me of Alex, Amelia, and Claire when they were teenagers. I guess that makes sense since Sarana and Laura both died when they were 16 and 14 respectively.
I don't know if it is due to my big brother's instincts kicking in after a decade of being dormant after seeing their playful and excitable behavior, but I kinda want to spoil them a whole lot, just like I used to do with Alex and Amelia.
I miss them… I can't wait for the day to bring them to this world to arrive!
Ah… Speaking of big brothers… I gained a strange title because of the beautiful elf and the affectionate foxkin that are standing by my side…
I am now apparently their Big Brother. Well, it doesn't appear like that in my status. My new title is Onii-chan/Oppa. Both are words in Japanese and Korean respectively, and they both mean Big Brother.
Although it is very weird that the title hasn't disappeared from my status even though both Sarana and Laura are technically older than me in both worlds!
Hmm? How do I know what those words mean? Well, it is all thanks to all the knowledge I acquired while watching anime and reading webcomics with my dear Claire.
Ahh… Now I'm very sad that I never finished S*lo L*veling or Omn*scient Re*der…
Fuck! I want to know how they end!
(Ehh? Do you want to read them? I can lend you those as soon as we are done with our business with Catris. You can read them as long as you are in my Divine Realm!) Thiasis suddenly granted me my wish.
(Please do!) I replied without hesitation. (But I have to admit that I didn't imagine that you would read that kind of thing too… I guess there's still a lot I have to learn about you huh.) I said to Thiasis.
Even though we have been together ever since I was reincarnated, there are things I still don't know about this Goddess…
I guess that it is true what they say in this world… That getting to know another person is a never-ending task, but a very fruitful one.
(I mean, I need something to do in my limited free time, you know? I also liked to play multiplayer video games from time to time but Lia banned me from playing those after she caught me flaming the gods of other worlds.) Thiasis said casually. (Though it really makes Lia and I very happy that you want to get to know us more!) Thiasis was overjoyed.
(Don't tell him that! Get back to work now...) Lia said with her usual cold tone, but this time with a little bit of embarrassment mixed in.
(Boohoo~... How boring~...) Thiasis complained before leaving.
I couldn't help but chuckle to myself thanks to the antics of my Goddess.
"What's so funny, Julius?" Laura asked as her face got awkwardly close to mine. Her face was filled with curiosity.
"Nothing, really. I was just thinking how happy and playful you two seem right now." I said as I started putting on the chicken and the peppers Sarana had requested on her pizza. "You really do remind me of my little sisters from Earth when they were your age." I smiled at Laura.
After being given the opportunity to live anew, I realized how short life could be. My previous life was pretty short, hell I'm already halfway to reaching my previous age, but theirs was obviously shorter than mine…
What I'm trying to say here is that thinking about their story makes me increasingly sad…
There were so many things I wanted to do and I couldn't do them because of a malicious deity. Even to this day, I'm still obviously sad and tremendously enraged because of that.
I can't imagine how the two of them must feel since they died in very unfortunate accidents at such a young age… They weren't even able to get through high school!
They weren't able to graduate with their friends and classmates, they weren't able to make memories with their friends, and they couldn't ask their crush out, much less go on dates with them… They missed out on so many important experiences…
I don't know, it just makes me incredibly sad that they died in what's supposed to be the best and probably the worst years of one's life…
I know I'm talking like an old guy, but I can't help it when I remember their story…
"When they were our age? Do I need to remind you that Sarana and I are the same age you were when you died? We are fully-fledged adults!" Laura got a little pissed off and started poking my cheek quite vigorously.
For some reason, Laura is a little sensitive about her age and I don't really know why… I mean, she's just 20 years old and an elf on top of that, she'll look young for a very long time, probably for the rest of her new life, so I think age shouldn't matter that much.
Ah… I'm talking like an old man again…
"Fully-fledged adults, she says." Before I even got the chance to reply, Bruno scoffed before taking a sip of his ale.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Laura turned around and faced her grandfather with an annoyed expression.
Bruno just ignored Laura and focused his gaze on me.
"Listen up, boy, this will be your first lesson as a ladies' man." Bruno said as he placed his mug on top of the kitchen counter and took a moment to consider what he was about to say.
"Hey! Don't ignore your grandchild, old man!" Laura frowned as Bruno didn't pay attention to her.
"Calm down, Laura. You know how grandpa can be sometimes, especially when you ask him to not try to make his great-grandchild follow in his footsteps!" My mom had her usual calm and gentle expression, but in reality, I could tell she was also a little annoyed…
"Alright, Julius... Tell me, what do you think of Laura and Sarana? Please be completely honest with me. There's no need to be shy here, after all." Bruno asked with a smile, clearly ignoring both my mom and Laura.
"Oh! I'd also like to know what you think of us!" Sarana suddenly got excited thanks to Bruno's question, so much so that she tightened her grasp on me.
"I mean if we don't take into account the kidnapping incident from a few hours ago…" I paused while looking at Laura.
"For the last time, I'm sorry about that! But don't you think you're blowing it out of proportion!? I didn't actually kidnap you, I just calmly asked you to come along with me!" Laura got a little red in the face.
"Yep, because asking nicely is actually just picking me up from the ground without my consent and saying that I have to come with you and that I have no choice on the matter." I said with a flat tone just to annoy her a little.
Just as I thought, Laura started pouting because of what I said. It was funny to see her reactions.
"But to answer your question Grandpa, I think that both of them are quite lovely." I said with a straight face, not giving Laura any time to retort to what I said earlier.
"L-L-Lovely!?" Unlike before, Laura's whole face including her long and pointy elven all got painted in a deep red color.
"Lovely? Me? Hehehe! I see~! I see~! Thank you!" Sarana nuzzled against my back again and wrapped all of her fluffy tails around me. She sounded quite happy to hear what I thought of her.
"But are you talking about their appearance or their personality?" Bruno's expression suddenly turned serious.
Huh…
"Both, obviously. Why?" I replied while tilting my head with confusion.
I mean, really not taking into account the "kidnapping" incident with Laura, I've got no complaints about them.
From what I have seen so far in the short time I have known Sarana and Laura and hearing the stories from their previous lives, I think I more or less understand their personalities.
It might not seem like it right now, but Laura/Jinhee was your run-of-the-mill outgoing popular girl from middle school, who had tons of friends and everyone liked her. Right now, I see her as a responsible, serious, and empathetic woman who likes to help other people, so much so that she would take extreme measures like kidnapping someone as she did with me…
I think it is time I stop teasing her about that… But it is so funny though~.
As for Sarana/Satsuki, she was the total opposite of Jinhee. According to her, she wasn't popular at all and she didn't have any friends because of her shyness. People even bullied her because of her being an otaku and also because she was half-American. To me, Satsuki was exactly in the same position as Claire when I met her.
I think she's a very affectionate, caring, playful, and confident woman who seems to be able to quickly read the atmosphere in the room and lift the mood of the people around her very easily.
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And about their appearance… They are both extremely beautiful women, there's no denying it. Saying otherwise would be a big lie in my humble opinion!
For starters, Saranas's yellow-colored eyes are simply stunning and so full of mischief that I feel drawn to stare at her just because of that! She's on the thicker side though, so she's a bit curvy. Of course, let's not forget about her fluffy soft tails and fox ears that seem like they were made out of cotton! They simply make Sarana look so freaking adorable despite the whole alluring playful aura she has around her!
Of course, Laura doesn't fall behind Sarana at all. Laura is quite slender and thin, with long blonde hair, precious emerald green eyes, and her lovely pointy ears make her seem like a delicate, cheerful, and graceful elven princess.
Of course, the size disparity between Sarana (1.63m tall) and Laura (1.76m tall) only made their different physiques much more apparent.
Though I guess I might be a little biased because they are both busty blondes (my type back on Earth), to me, they are certainly very attractive.
"Sheesh! You're going to make me blush~!" Sarana said playfully.
"Sigh… It looks like in the end, my little sisters will actually become my daughters-in-law. It was something truly unexpected…" My mom said as if she had resigned herself to that fate. In reality, she looked a little amused.
"S-S-Sis!? We are talking about your child! There's no way I could possibly marry my nephew!" Laura shook her head vigorously.
"Is that so? Well, it is your loss then." My mom just shrugged. "You know, Tiria didn't seem to mind that fact and she's pretty happy with the engagement. I mean, how could she reject her cute nephew when he expressed his love and admiration towards her in such an innocent yet romantic manner~? He even promised to protect her with all of his might and to make her the happiest she has ever been~!" My mom asked playfully. I also felt like she was bragging about me for some reason…
Hey! I have never said such a thing! Yes, I did confess my feelings to Auntie, but I didn't do it out of my own will! It was Catris's fault! Also, she was the one who asked me to marry her and it was also the fault of that goddess!
That is what I wanted to say, but I had the feeling that it would just raise some sort of misunderstanding that I’m not in the mood to deal with.
"Hold up… What!? Julius is engaged to Tiria!? That Tiria!? The Demonic Wind of all people!? Are you messing with me!?" Laura looked at my mom with a flabbergasted expression.
"I'm as honest as a proud mother can be~!" My mom said with a smug look on her face as she lied through her teeth.
You liar…
"Wow… You must have been very brave to do such a thing! Congratulations!" Unlike Laura, Sarana spoke to me with amazement and a gaze full of admiration. "You know, I wouldn't mind getting engaged to you if you propose to me in such a cool way, big brother~." Sarana whispered in my ear in a playful manner.
Wait… What…? Please tell me she's just messing with me… I can understand marrying one auntie, but marrying two of my aunties would make it seem like I have some sort of weird incest kink even though we are not related!
"So young and he has already on the way to failing lesson two… How pitiful…" Bruno pinched the bridge of his nose and started shaking his head with disappointment.
What about lesson one!? How can I be on the way to failing lesson two if you haven't even finished the first one!? That's bullshit!
"Julius, it might be true that Sarana, Laura, and even your mother are lovely, appearance-wise." The old man had a very serious expression "But personality-wise… As a man, you should absolutely stay away from girls like them!" He suddenly raised his cane and pointed at his three granddaughters.
"Grandpa, what exactly do you mean by that?" Laura, Sarana, and my own mom spoke in unison as they were staring daggers at him… It was absolutely terrifying…
"Laura is a gold digger with nothing but money on her mind and she's not even that good at being a gold digger! As for Sarana, well… She's low-key, the laziest and the most perverted woman you'll ever meet, and that's a whole lot coming from me, you know? And finally, your mom has a terrifying temper… Just because of that, she's definitely the craziest of the three!
Trust your old Gramps on this one, they might be good-looking on the outside, but on the inside, they are all genuinely crazy! You'd be a wise man if you stayed away from girls like them!" Bruno ignored the hateful stares of the women and continued with his lesson... "Which leads us to the very vital Lesson Two… Boy, don't EVER, and I mean EVER, stick your dick in crazy!" He made a lot of emphasis on some advice I had already heard countless times back on Earth…
I couldn't help but remain silent… There was nothing I could say to the old man when the temperature in the kitchen had gone below the negatives…
All I could feel around me was the pure murdering intent coming from the three women in the room… Even though I had already felt killing intent plenty of times, I couldn't help but get goosebumps thanks to the intensity of the murderous auras Sarana, Laura and my own mother had all around them...
"Grandpa, what the hell do you think you're teaching my 9-year-old child!? Also, the fuck do you mean I am the craziest of the three!?" My mom was seriously pissed off now.
"I'm not a pervert! I mean, I am but not as much as you Grandpa! Weren't you the one who tried to sneak into the women's bathhouse the other day!?" Sarana immediately stopped hugging me and stood up, completely enraged.
"Well, I'm sorry if I seem like a gold digger to you, but whose fault do you think that is!? It's yours obviously, who brilliantly decided to gamble all of our remaining money remodeling granny's house to be an inn and a bar! The only visitors we have had in the last two months besides Big Sis and her family was that elven lady you tried to fuck who was actually a very feminine guy!" Laura immediately walked up to Bruno and tried to argue with him. "And I'll have you know that I have many rich suitors in Imperial Academy dying to have my hand in marriage!" She added.
In response, Bruno chuckled to himself while shaking his head.
"See? They got offended, so that's how I know I’m right, and deep down they also know that I'm telling the truth. I know what I'm talking about because I raised them!" Bruno said with a smile. He was actually ignoring the killing intent directed at him.
"I don't think that's how it works, grandpa…" I said while thinking about how to de-escalate the situation, especially after noticing that the women's glares had become filled with hatred and violence.
This was certainly not going to end well…
"It is exactly how it works. But anyway, since you already got yourself engaged with one of the crazy ones, we should move on to Lesson 3… How to be a good boyfriend. An essential concept to be a ladies' man!" Bruno was genuinely enjoying himself teaching me. "You see, being a good boyfriend or husband is like being a good rearguard in an adventurer's party! You have to watch yours and your companions' backs all the time like a hawk and make sure to support them with all of your strength even if they want to argue about things like loot or what brothel to visit at night!" Bruno explained with excitement using a strange analogy…
Yeah, that analogy is a bit… Though it does remind me of another analogy I heard from an old neighbor back on Earth.
I think that analogy went like this: Being a good boyfriend is like being a goalkeeper. You won't be able to catch all the balls, but as long as you catch most of them, you'll be good to go.
It is a weirdly similar analogy, but I think Bruno essentially means the same thing with his rear guard analogy. I guess it is actually not bad advice… I think?
"Hmm…" I just frowned in response.
"Don't worry, boy. Many don't get it the first time either but give it a few years, and you'll eventually understand how much sense it makes!" Bruno looked pleased as he nodded to himself.
Unfortunately for him, the old man didn't have too much time left in this world…
Bruno was suddenly grabbed by the arm by Laura, Sarana, and my mom…
"Don't fill my cute son's head with garbage, old man! The only crazy person in this household is you and your dementia-ridden ass." My mom said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. She was tired of being ignored.
"Indeed, that is all utter garbage. Sis, I propose that we take it somewhere else so we can have a talk. What do you think?" Laura was smiling from ear to ear in the same manner as mom…
"You know, I think it is time for Grandpa to meet Granny in heaven! I think it is something long overdue!" Sarana said with delight as put her hands together, almost like she was praying.
In the blink of an eye, Bruno was taken out of the kitchen by the three enraged women.
"Fourth lesson kid! Having a high defense and knowing healing magic are essential things for a ladies' man!" Those were the last words Bruno managed to scream to me before he was seen for the last time…
…
…
…
How the hell did it end up like this? We were having a merry pizza time just a few moments ago!
Oh, well! To be fair, it was his fault for trying to teach me something like that IN FRONT of his granddaughters and on top of that, calling them crazy!
The old man fucked around and is definitely about to find out… A shame.
Rest in peace Bruno, you'll be missed. Probably.
"Well, better keep making those pizzas." I just shrugged before I started kneading more pizza dough.
After a few minutes of me on my own in the kitchen making pizzas for our late lunch, my dad suddenly leaned in through the door to take a peek.
He suddenly let out a bit of a sigh before coming in with a mug in his hand, filled to the brim with ale, and started patting my head.
"Damn… The old man might actually have dementia after all… There's a limit to foolishness, but calling all three of them crazy while being right in front of them…" My dad shook him with disappointment before taking a sip from his mug.
"Will he survive? I don't think I have ever seen mom that pissed off…" I asked with concern as I finished making the pizza Laura had requested.
Putting the pizza in the tray where all the finished ones were, I turned around to face my dad.
"I've heard he has gotten himself out of worse trouble, so… But, I think I'll go buy a coffin for him, just in case." My dad muttered to himself and just shrugged.
As I looked out into the dining hall, I could feel the temperature actually falling down rapidly… Blue-colored mana was covering every corner of the room and everything looked much darker than before… That could only mean that some powerful magic was actually being used…
I don't want to even imagine what's happening to Bruno over there, so I'm just going to feign ignorance for the time being…
"Yeah, I guess we will need that coffin…" I shuddered thanks to the sudden drop in the temperature…
"I agree…" My dad nodded and crossed his arms. "Just so we are clear, don't follow Bruno's advice. It would be stupid to follow his advice… I mean, you just saw what happened, right?" My dad asked with a worried expression.
"Dad, I'm not dumb enough to follow the advice of someone who has divorced six times!" I shook my head vigorously before laughing.
"And that already makes you way better than me… I followed his advice once and your mother almost divorced me…" My dad smiled bitterly.
Hold the fuck up!? What!?
"What the fuck!?" I couldn't contain my surprise at the revelation…
"Language." My dad looked at me with disapproval.
"Sorry, but what did you even do for mom, who loves you to the moons and back, to almost divorce you…?" I still couldn't believe what he had just told me.
"You're too young to know… I may tell you when you're an adult, but, I genuinely think that it is better if it stays buried deep and it never comes up again…" My dad shook his head again, clearly mortified after remembering what happened between him and mom.
Grandpa, what the actual fuck did you tell him to do!? There's no way Dad could have screwed up that badly on his own!
"In any case, my advice is for you to take anything that comes from your great-grandfather's mouth with a literal ton of salt from now on… If he survives, that is." My Dad placed his hands on my shoulders. He was clearly trying to warn me about the importance of his advice.
"Yep, thanks to the events I witnessed a few moments ago, I will do just that." I nodded in agreement.
The moment I finished talking, an explosion of pure magical power shook the entire building and even the ground below us, almost like there was an actual earthquake happening at that moment…
Both dad and I just stared at each other for a second… It was decided… We were gonna play dumb and forget about what had just transpired…
"So, these pizzas of yours can be made spicy?" My dad asked awkwardly.
"Of course? Do you want some red peppers? Sarana told me these were extra spicy! How spicy do you want your pizza?" I asked him with an even more awkward smile.
"Surprise me! Make it as spicy as you can!" This time, he showed an expression of genuine happiness before drinking from his mug.
"Hottest pizza in the universe got it!" I nodded before going back to work.
I did my best to ignore the explosive surge of magical power coming from deeper into the house…
We may not need that coffin anymore… I think we will need just a few trash bags to pick up the remaining pieces of Bruno…
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