Chapter 14: 1.14 A ”powerful” drink

Velariah had facepalmed and groaned after my maybe-too-honest answer. I think Elly would have done the same, but her status as maid prevented her from actually doing it. 

"Like, I know you have to roast them but I don't know if there's any steps in between. I don't think there is much though, we could try soaking one half in water, normally that is something you can do with beans but these are not really ''beans'' technically, so I don't know.''  

It was a shame I couldn't enter the kitchen I was going to have to rely on them to not burn the beans. The other option was to move it away to a place where I could observe but the problem with that was that we would probably end up roasting them over open fire which didn't seem such a good idea to me. At least their stove, even if fueled by wood, would spread the heat more evenly in the pan.  

With that came the next issue, I had no idea how much time they needed. Our plan would consist of roasting two batches, one soaked in water and dried and another one without soaking in water first. Then we would start roasting them and take a bunch out after some time. We, or at least I, could compare the colors and taste and decide what would be the best. From there on out it should be simple enough to repeat the steps to get there.  

And so, we had first soaked half the batch in water and then laid it out outside in the sun to dry while we worked on roasting the other batch first. Velariah had picked the first guard she saw outside and had him watch over the beans.  

It must be good to have such a high ranked family. 

Elly did the cooking as she was most experienced with handling it and Velariah was going to get a few items that I would need for when we finished the roasting process. I had her pick up filtration paper from the alchemist workshop and some milk. Coffee without milk was just too much... I guessed fresh coffee would probably be even stronger than the stuff I had at home. I was going to have to be careful. 

I had instructed her that the beans needed to at least be brown before she should start taking a few cups outs. About 15 minutes later Velariah returned and Elly was done roasting the first batch. The knight had put the milk in their version of a refrigerator and I was taking a look at Elly's handiwork.  

As I had expected, these were indeed coffee beans. I felt relieved to see that their color had actually shifted towards the brown I was used to. Elly had created four cups of differently colored beans ranging from light brown to almost black, I was fairly certain that last batch was actually burnt but it could be worth trying. These people didn't know, after all. 

I had checked on the beans outside and startled the guard who was overseeing them. When would I ever get used to this? He actually asked what the beans were used for and I told him I was going to make a drink out of them and that he would be welcome to try it out as thanks. He hesitated but accepted the invitation. He would have to wait for a bit still, these were not dried enough yet.  

So, we did what we could do. Elly and Velariah were each grinding the beans into ground coffee in a mortar. In the meantime, I created several cones out of the filtration paper, these should do nicely.  

Hmmm, the smell of freshly ground coffee entered my nostrils. It smelled heavenly; I could practically taste it... 

''You're drooling.'' Velaria grinned. 

Oops. 

''Anyways, we need boiled water next.'' I tried to distract. ''And an empty jar or anything that I can use as container.'' 

With a bit of luck, I should be able to get four, maybe five cups from each set of beans. I wondered which one Elly and Velaria would prefer. Everyone had their own taste, after all. 

''So, this is pretty much like tea?'' Velariah asked. 

''Well, yes, but actually, no.'' I thought for a moment. ''Tea is quite a bit simpler I would say, you don't need to run it through a paper. Also, coffee actually packs a punch, you will see it.'' 

I was actually curious how they would react. I was not going to tell them about the part where it could actually have you running for the toilet after drinking coffee, they would find that out on their own. Poor Elly, she didn’t deserve this. Velariah certainly did. Maybe I was actually a monster.  

Elly returned with an empty glass jar as I put one of the medium roasted ground coffees in a filter cone. I placed the cone in the jar and waited until the water was boiled.  

''If all goes according to plan we should have this world's first coffee soon, that is, if nobody else had the same idea of doing what we just did.'' 

I looked at Velariah. She shook her head. 

''Haven't heard of it at least.'' 

''Hmm.'' I let out. ''Just remember that if this gets out of hand, I didn't come up with it.'' 

''Understood.'' Velariah gave me a thumbs up. 

Elly went back to the kitchen as we waited, and came back with sugar and a glass milk pourer. She put them on the table and went back to the kitchen. 

Velariah took a seat and patiently waited for my concoction. We had everything we needed, milk, sugar, spoons, we just needed water now. It was time for me to take a seat as well, literally. I actually took two and put them aside.  

Before I took a stand at the table, I decided to check with the guard outside.  

He was still there looking out for the beans, leaning against the wall. I inspected the beans and it seemed they had dried up in the sun. I wrapped them in the blanket and invited him inside to try the first batch. 

I put the blanket with the beans out on the table and saw the guard looking at all the stuff that was spread out on the table. Yes, it was a mess but that’s part of science, alright. The cups with the different types of coffee were still standing on the table, as were the mortars and pestles and the sugar and milk.  

Elly walked in with a pot of steaming hot water and I prayed that I had done all the steps correctly. At least the ground coffee smelled like how ground coffee should smell.  

The moment of truth had arrived. My many legs were dancing with anticipation which had the guard run to the other side of the table. His face went white as snow. 

I couldn't help it, okay? 

I slowly poured the hot water in the cone. Bit by bit the infamous brown liquid dripped down into the jar.  

''That looks disgusting.'' Velariah had commented on the dark brown liquid. 

I had never thought of coffee as disgusting-looking. 

I shrugged. ''You'll get used to it. When the process is optimized, they will form rows long lines to get a cup of this stuff. You'll see.'' 

Everyone, even the guard looked at the process playing out in front of them. I don't know why but it seemed that everything I did drew more attention that it deserved. I mean, it was just coffee! 

Forgive me coffee gods for belittling your gift to the world!  

Elly walked back to the kitchen and returned with four glasses with tea spoons. How barbaric, they didn't even have coffee cups. Well, they didn't have coffee so... whatever. 

A few minutes later I had a jar full of coffee. Now came the ultimate test.  

I poured four cups and handed them out. 

''Now, you can try it like this but I highly doubt you'd like it. I prefer sugar and milk in it.'' 

I put in some sugar and stirred before took a small sip to check the taste.  

That wasn't half bad. That at least tasted like coffee, if not ideal. I added some milk and too and tried again. Yep, that's coffee alright. It was nothing special which disappointed me slightly. I had expected it to be some kind of magical brew because of how fresh it was.  

Wait. Was Elly drinking it black? She seemed to enjoy it too. This girl was hardcore. 

Velariah messed around between tasting and adding sugar and milk herself before she seemed to find a perfect balance.  

''Hey, this stuff is pretty good.'' 

Told you. 

The guard seemed to enjoy his drink as well. When we had finished, he thanked us for the interesting drink and went on his way. I was pretty sure he was going to be looking for a toilet from the way he walked.  

Coffee: 1 Guard: 0. 

Well, at least I had created coffee.  

I looked at the other ground coffee that was still in the cups on the table. Oof, I was not going to be able to drink that much, I now saw why those ''tasters'' would just spit it back out when inspecting quality. I guessed we would try some other flavor tomorrow?  

That had me thinking on what to do with the other beans. Should we roast them now? And if we did, to what degree? I decided to have Elly roast them now to the same degree of the beans that we had just had now. We could always get more later on if we needed. This also gave us the advantage of having a few more people having a taste of what I thought was the perfect roast.  

Delicious. I did have to give praise to Elly though, she managed to finish before me, without even adding milk! She was now getting the cups to the kitchen and Velariah put a hand on her stomach. 

''Is this feeling normal?'' She had a slight panic in her eyes. 

I giggled. ''Yep, that's the ''kick'' I was talking about. You may experience an urge to go to the toilet as well but that's normal.'' 

''Uhhh, is that also normal?'' She pointed behind me. 

''What are you talking abou-'' I had tried to turn around but my legs wouldn't respond. Even worse I fell to the ground; my legs gave out beneath me. 

''What the hell?'' I exclaimed as Velariah walked over to me. 

''Are you alright?" She called out. 

''I'm fine, but what is going on?''  

My legs ignored my commands and had me dragging across the floor. Apparently, what the elf had pointed to earlier was a large amount of silk ''leaking'' from my behind. What the hell? 

''What the fuck is going on?'' I screamed. 

My legs spasmed and silk was spreading everywhere. I could apparently, actually shoot it out if I wanted to. This was not how I wanted to find out. The floor was starting to get covered in sticky, gooey spider webs.  

Elly came walking through the kitchen door in a hurry and gasped as she saw the mess I was making.  Velariah was trying to get a hold of my spider parts. That was not going to happen. They couldn't be controlled and seemed far more powerful than the little force she was using to keep them down. 

''Get a hold Elania!'' She said as she grabbed one of my legs. At least that prevented me from spinning on the floor like a break-dancer on their head.  

''I can't, I don't know what the hell is going on!" 

My legs moved on their own and grabbed Velariah tight. Even with all the armor she was wearing she was still easily overwhelmed. She was held down like a fly in a web as my legs spasmed around her, half of them keeping her pinned down and the other half kept ''dancing'' wildly. 

I started to get some idea as to what was going on through all the embarrassment. It seemed I had in part the same reaction to coffee as the reaction that I had had to alcohol back in the cave. Did my spidery parts get drunk off of coffee? What the hell, gods? I already said I was sorry, don't do this to me! 

Velariah had been properly pinned to the ground and was now completely stuck in the silk that had been literally sprayed across the floor. My legs stopped pinning her down and moved back a bit so that my human body was above hers before giving out. This caused me to land on her lap and only fueled my growing shame.  

It didn't simply stop there. My legs were still contracting and retracting constantly in a weird dance and to make matters words my pedipalps started to ''feel'' around her body. I was thankful she was in armor or this would have been even worse when they ran over her chest area. I hid my face in all my hands so I couldn't see her face. 

I couldn't help but peek every now and then and to my surprise she wasn't actually panicked, at least not that I could see. She wasn't struggling at all, it seemed she was patiently waiting until I could wrestle control back.  

''I'm sorrryyyyyyyy.'' I screamed, still hiding my beet-red face while my body rocked back and forth on her stomach because of my limbs still creepily moving in all directions. 

At least my fangs were not being used, that could actually turn this situation dangerous. Wait, I just jinxed it didn't I? 

I looked down but couldn’t see my fangs. That at least meant they were still safely tucked under my body.  

The spasming in my legs seemed to lessen slowly over time and a few minutes of dancing later it seemed I had collapsed on top on Velariah. I was unable to move an inch as only my hands were my own and they wouldn’t move my body that got all tangled up in silk. All I could do was push my human body up from her. 

''I'm sorry.'' I whispered to Velariah as I was on top of her. ''I can't move.''  

I felt exhausted. This was the opposite of what coffee was supposed to do, damnit! Would this mean I couldn't ever drink coffee again? Such a cruel fate. I had so looked forward to this... Was it the caffeine? How do you make decaffeinated coffee? So many questions that needed to be answered! 

''Are you alright?'' Velariah spoke softly. 

Are you kidding me? I basically assaulted her, stuck her to the floor and started groping her with my extra limbs and she still asked if I was okay? This elf... 

''I'm fine, I think it was the coffee... I had about the same happen when I drank alcohol back in the forest.'' 

''That reminds me, I still have the two canteens that you gave me earlier.'' Velariah said. ''One of them has some high-quality booze, I'm sorry, I tried a bit.'' She spoke as I removed my hair from her face. 

''Yeah, you can keep it, unless you want to repeat what just happened.'' I sighed with a slight smile. 

She laughed sheepishly. ''Elly, could you give us a hand?'' 

''Lady Velariah?'' She questioned. 

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''Please cut us loose if you don’t mind.'' She sighed deeply. 

''Sure, just hold on a minute.'' She walked back to the kitchen. 

It took a while before she returned.  

That was more than a minute Elly. I was getting more than uncomfortable here, I couldn't imagine how Velariah was feeling. Could this get any worse? 

I heard a door open and thought it was Elly but it was the wrong door and it was Valtheril walking in in full armor and a frown on his face. Yeap, I had just jinxed it again.  

''Sorry I still had to take care of those beans.'' Elly said as she walked in with a large knife before she noticed Valtheril had returned and stopped in her tracks. 

At least she had saved the coffee, that was at least something I guessed. If only I could drink it! Argh, this was driving me crazy. At least people seemed to like what I had made, even if it was far from perfect. I think with some more experience and experimenting the quality of the drink should be able to increase a fair amount. The next step would be selling it and making sure there was a steady supply of beans. This village had been struggling lately from what I have been told. En extra export product should be able to tip the scales. 

My mind was racing with distractions as Velariah's father was eying me on top of his daughter, the of us were covered in thread and I could only imagine how this looked to him.  

"I can explain...'' I started.  

''Looking forward to it.'' He said sharply as he sat down at the head of the table. His eyes were on the glass jar that still had enough coffee left for maybe one cup. 

''This is the drink you were talking about?'' 

How could this guy be so serious when Velariah and I were in this position. Well, as long as he didn't reach for his sword... 

''Yea, you can try it if you want. It's delicious with sugar and milk.'' I said with a face as straight as I could make. 

How was I even doing this? 

''I do have to warn you, it has a certain kick. It appears that my spider parts could not handle it...'' 

There, I had explained what had happened. He didn't even reach for his sword. Perfect, I would live another day.  

He poured a glass with the last remaining coffee, added some sugar and milk and gave it a sip.  

''Hey that's pretty good.'' He said, still maintaining a neutral facial expression. 

''Told you.'' 

Elly started cutting my legs loose from the obscene amount of silk that was covering them and a large amount of the floor. Sensation slowly started to return as she worked her way through the threads, control did not. I remained quiet throughout the process and watched Elly work so I wouldn't have to face Velariah's heterochromic eyes.  

As soon as she had my legs freed, I dragged myself off of Velariah with my hands. I didn't get far, however, my legs still refused to move so I just sat down next to her and tried to help Elly in freeing her. My hands weren't as effective so I had Elly fetch another knife. 

What a mess I got myself into. Literally. And not just myself, but Velariah too. Actually, I was out of the mess now but she wasn't so lucky. She was still stuck in a heap of sticky silk.  

''What are you smiling about?'' Velariah asked. 

Was I smiling? Oops. Maybe the scene in front of me had actually been quite funny even though I was almost dying from embarrassment. I was pretty sure with everything going on I was unable to control my emotions or expressions so I had no idea. 

''I'm sorry alright, I had no idea that this would happen!'' I apologized in earnest as I was cutting through my own silk. 

''It is funny how you finally got the silk that you wanted so badly.'' 

I grinned. Fortunately, Velariah took it in a good way and she smiled back. Yeap, that was one of her evil smiles. I would probably get payback soon enough. 

Elly had to be careful to not get herself stuck while trying to free Velariah so it was up to me to cut the places she couldn't reach. She had actually taken a piece of silk in her hands and was checking its properties by stretching it and feeling it. Knowing where that stuff had come from would always make me feel awkward. Even more so when others were scrutinizing it like that... 

''This is not what I expected when I asked for it, though.'' she was grinning as well. ''But you're right, I'll have Alline have a look at it... later.''  

''May wanna send some to the tailor as well.'' I suggested, half laughing. ''Maybe I'll get a discount next time.'' 

It was extremely difficult to get the elf out of this mess but after a lot of cutting we managed to free Velariah enough to have her pulled out when I was able to walk again. Seeing her armor still covered in silk here and there it reminded me of something.  

''By the way, what happened to the boar and wolves?''  

''Sold them.'' Velariah had said while trying to get a few pieces of thread off her armor, she wasn't having a lot of luck. 

''Guess what's on the menu at the guild for the coming week.'' 

Hmm, bacon. 

''You okay?'' I finally asked as Velariah was trying to get the last of the mess off her armor. 

''I'm fine. Though, the next time you decide to drink coffee, at least let me leave first.'' 

Yeap, there it was. The comment that both made my face flush red and made me feel sad at the same time. I would have a hard time saying goodbye to my power drink.  

''Miss, should I save the material?'' Elly asked, referencing to the insane amounts of silk on the floor.  

''Yes, please, but leave it for now, I'll help you out later.'' 

''I'll help, too.'' I added. It was my mess after all.  

Even if I had not done it consciously, this was a mess to clean. I could not let that poor elf do it alone.  

''For now, I'll check when it's my turn to do battle. I'm not sure how much time we lost there.'' 

She was still trying to get the webs off of her to no avail. Damn, that stuff was tough. I mean, I knew it already because that boar had stood no chance against it but still. Thinking about the boar being turned into bacon had stirred something within me. I heard my stomach growl. I was actually hungry. Apparently Velariah heard it too as her eyes ran over my stomach to my face. 

''You gotta be kidding me.'' She spoke. I wasn't sure if that was serious or meant as a joke. 

''I said I'm sorry, okay?'' 

''Guess all this really took it out of you, didn't it?'' she grimaced. 

There it was again, another joke to make me feel embarrassed. Why did you have to be like this? She was evil, evil! 

''Hey, where do I get some more of this stuff?'' Valtheril interrupted our talk. He was holding up an empty glass. 

This guy... 

''Uhm, there is some more that we could make, but I am not sure about the flavor, it could be stronger, I'm not sure.'' I explained. 

''I'm going to see the organizer you can help my father in the meantime.'' 

''Sure.'' 

With that, Velariah walked out. 

''Stronger you say? Ho, now I am curious.'' 

Looks like I found myself somebody who likes coffee as much as I do. 

I had Elly make another pot of boiled water while I worked on folding another paper cone. I placed it in the now empty glass jar and filled it with a slightly longer roasted ground coffee. I was kind of curious what he would think about this one. I would have taken some myself too if not for certain issues... Coffee, you have failed me too! 

Valtheril made sure Elly was gone before asking a question. 

''So, does everyone in your world drink this?'' he checked out my cone filled with coffee. 

''Almost everyone. it's one of the most popular drinks on our planet, and there are many different flavors too.'' 

I'd have to be careful to not start drooling, that wasn't going to happen to me again!  

''You sure you couldn't help out with that crossbow idea of yours?'' 

There it was again. The question that had me considering earlier, and it still had me considering now. Just how bad was the situation here? 

''Are you guys alright?'' 

The tone in his voice was calm but the worry was obvious in his eyes.  

''I wish I could say we are, but our defenses are stretched far too thin, hostility has increased lately with more and more skirmishes breaking out. While it's true these potions give us a great edge, I fear it won't make up for our numbers.'' His eyes were fixed on the cone in the jar. 

''How did that happen anyway? I mean, your numbers being so low.''  

''It's all connected really. Our financial situation has gotten worse over the years. The farms don't produce as much as they used to and we haven't been able to keep up the pay for the defenses we need.'' 

''So, if we manage to get the income up you will be fine?'' 

''That would help, yes.'' 

I shrugged. ''I guess you're in luck. This stuff you're drinking should be able to fetch quite some coin, especially at the guild. Its energizing effects will be a welcome bonus for any adventurer going out on business.'' 

Elly returned with another pot of hot water. I started pouring it through the filter again with Valtheril's scrutinizing gaze watching over me. The aroma of this batch at least smelt richer than the previous. I was betting on it that this would have some more oomph. These gods sure were cruel... 

''Is it okay if I take the rest to the guild to have them try?'' He asked as the jar was almost filled up.  

Why was he even asking that? He could do whatever he wanted.  

''Sure, just remember that this is not my invention. Oh, and it would be better to keep the process secret.'' I told him, reminding of what I had mentioned earlier. 

''Understood. Also, I'm a general but I do know a thing or two about trade. Never reveal your secrets, am I right?'' He smiled as I poured a glass of coffee.  

''That's right.'' I smiled back.  

I had been quite happy with the people I had met so far. None of them, except for the treemender that I hoped to avoid, seemed like bad people. Wary, scared, careful, sure, but I was afraid I couldn't blame them for any of their initial hostility. After realizing I wasn't a monster (I hope they realized, at least) it didn't take long for them to open up. 

''I'll go look for Velariah.'' I said while checking for Velariah's leather pack. I was getting rather hungry and I'm pretty sure she still had my coin pouch. When I couldn’t find it, I assumed Velariah had it with her.  

''Sure.'' Came the general's voice. ''Also, take good care of her.'' 

I had no idea what he meant with that. 

I was pretty sure Velariah could take care of herself. 

Faragi

Spiders on drugs : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc&ab_channel=AndrewStruthers

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