Chapter 37: 1.37 Letting Go of the Past

Why was sleep such a struggle? 

I was dead tired, yet I had issues getting myself to sleep. Added to that was the thought that Vel could come home any minute and barge in here. The feeling was eerily similar to when one knew there was a mosquito in the room but it kept quiet until one was almost asleep and then it would start buzzing again. This feeling was the worst!  

She didn't come home as early as I had expected and I did get some sleep, but I was awoken by the faintest sound of the door to the bathroom opening. It wasn't loud at all, yet it got me out of the light sleep state I was in. Apparently utter exhaustion couldn't keep me down, as much as I wanted to just drift off. 

The elf clapped softly and the lights turned on.  

She seemed to think I was still asleep. 

I was curious what she was going to do if I was, so I pretended to still be asleep, even mimicking soft snoring. So far, she had done as I predicted. There was no way she was not going to be here if I left the door unlocked. I opened one eye far enough to be able to see without her knowing. 

Next thing I knew, I was staring at her undressing. As much as I could stare with an almost closed eye, anyway.  

Her armor really covered up her elven beauty... 

Ugh, there was that thought again. I had a hard time resisting it. She really was a succubus! 

Why did elves have to be so perfect... 

She put her clothes and tag on top of mine in the sink and made her way to me. I closed my eyes, not wanting her to realize I wasn't actually sleeping and she clapped out the lights softly as I could feel the pillows shift as she lowered herself into them. 

The next thing I knew was that she was searching for my arms that were casually laying on one of the pillows next to me. I did, after all sleep on my side, as much as this body allowed me to turn my human part that was.  

She found my arms and wrapped herself in them.  

So that's what she did the last time as well... 

She then pressed herself against me, her hair under my nose and hugged me tightly.  

I had a hard time pretending to be asleep. How could I? I was being overloaded by the sensations she was giving me. She was far a pillow than any of these other ones. Four hands only served to amplify the experience of her soft skin.  

She even went as far as grabbing my left pedipalp and put in behind one of her legs. 

This elf has issues. 

She then kissed my neck softly and whispered goodnight. 

I wanted to wish her goodnight as well, but that would reveal that I was in fact awake. Maybe she knew? I hoped not.  

I felt my mind clear away the worries from before and found myself relax quickly. I hoped I wouldn't need the elf to fall asleep, but I didn't mind It either.  

Maybe I did like her too. I'd only known her for such a short time, though. I feared this would not work out if we rushed things. The longer we hugged though, the more I wanted to try this. My emotions once again conflicted with one another, but I soon found myself relaxed enough to fall asleep again. 

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When I woke up, I could still feel Velariah in my arms. It was strange to find her still in bed this late. At least, I assumed it was late, because the last time I went to sleep feeling exhausted, it wasn't until afternoon that I got up.  

When I moved my head to crack my neck she spoke up. 

''Good afternoon Elania.'' She whispered softly. 

She had her head on my chest and still hugged me tightly, not wanting to let go it seemed. 

''Good morning to you too Velariah. How late is it exactly?'' I whispered back. 

''No idea.'' She moaned as she shifted herself deeper into the pillows. ''Don't care.'' 

''Aren’t you hungry?'' I asked as I moved my nose in her hair.  

Even after travelling two days, it still smelled nice. I really needed me some of that miracle shampoo. 

''Not hungry enough to leave you.'' 

''You're awfully attached, aren't you?'' I grinned. 

''Well, someone has to make the first move in this relationship.'' She fired back. 

Ouch. 

''I mean, you know I like you Vel, but I fear going at your pace it could ruin our friendship.'' I tried to explain. 

''Oh, so you do like me?'' She turned her head to look into my eyes. 

Why did she have to have heterochromia? Her eyes were far more distracting that way... 

''I do. I think.'' I closed my eyes when I said it.  

Oh my god, did I just confess? I swore she forced it out of me. I blamed her succubus heritage! 

''Awww, Elania, no need to be so shy about it.''  

She started playing with my hair. I still had my eyes closed as I tried to think what this meant. I had just confessed to a girl that I'd known for, was it 10 days now? I wasn't sure. I didn't know if I would have ever done that in my old life. My memories of friends and family were still missing. I didn't know if I should be thankful for that or not. At this point, remembering things may actually put a far heavier load on my shoulders than not knowing a thing.  

At the very least I didn't have to think about what my parents would think of me... 

''I'm not good with these things...'' I whispered softly as I opened my eyes again. Velariah's eyes were waiting for me when I did so. 

''I've forgotten half of who I am, of who I was, and now half of me is physically changed too. Why do you think I am so hesitant about this?'' 

Through the absolute mess that was my memories and emotions I did know I liked Velariah. She'd been with me for what felt like so long, even though it had only been a few days. Still, she'd been with me for most of the time I'd been awake.  

To start being liked by the first person that hadn't tried to kill me, it just seemed impossible to me, too good to be true, and me reciprocating that feeling, it just couldn't be.  

Why did this elf have to make a mess of my emotions every time? 

I was still trying to adjust to this world, the worst days of hardship were surely still ahead, yet here she was, in my bed, hugging me tightly. She didn't seem to have a care about anything else in the world. Maybe she was just true to her feelings? 

Had I done something terribly wrong to find myself in this world? Did I even deserve love? 

I couldn't help but think something awful would happen to Velariah for feeling that way. 

''Don't cry Elania, your face is too pretty for that.'' Velariah whispered as she wiped away tears from my eyes with her thumbs. 

Was I crying? I hadn’t even realized. 

''I think you think too much about your past. I don't know how to help you with that except for telling you to let go. Whatever happened, it’s not your fault.'' She whispered again. 

It was probably true that it wasn't my fault. I wasn't an evil person, was I? 

Back when I found myself in that cave, I had resolved to find out what happened and find my missing memories. Maybe that was something holding me back too much. I think that's what this elf meant at least. Maybe I should just let go of it?  

It's hard to give up your identity, or at least what made you you. That's what I had thought before and it turned out to be ever so true.  

''Just let go.'' Velariah whispered again. ''You're here now, the past is the past, I'll gladly be here for you in this new life of yours.''  

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Those words of her's had me try to let go of the past and the resolution I had made. I would never find out what happened and how I got here, what happened to my friends, my family, to me. I tried to let go, and with it, the flood gates truly opened. 

I cried. 

I cried long and hard. Tears flowed freely as I hugged the elf tightly.  

Amnesia truly was a blessing when trying to forget. It didn’t make this any easier, though. I stained the elf's hair with tears as she had done to me earlier. It was ironic that we'd have to go through the same process again with our roles reserved. Nevertheless, I was glad she was here for me. She'd promised to be there for me and I would gladly accept it.  

For the first time since coming to this world, I truly felt at home, even as my eyes continued to produce more and more tears, trying to let go off the past.  

''Thank you, Vel.'' I whispered through the flood.  

She put her head on my chest again and I started to calm down.  

From now on, I would look towards the future instead. My life was only just beginning here and a lot remained to be done. I would gladly dive into it with Velariah, and if things went well, happily share it with her.  

Even if it was going to be life of fighting, hardship and traveling, I was looking forward to it. Even if I’d have to get through it with this freaky body of mine, I would do it. Even if things could take a turn for the worst and we weren't sure if there was going to be a tomorrow, we were going to get through it.  

''Thank you.'' I whispered again and I let myself relax into the pillows. 

I don't know how long I remained like that. We wouldn’t get much done today if we kept this up. I didn't care, though. I felt like a huge weight had disappeared and allowed me to move forward now.  

Velariah's hand ran through my hair in a loving gesture. She had a small smile on her face which put me further at ease. 

''We'll get through this.'' She spoke softly. ''I have all the time, don't worry about it.'' 

I smiled back. 

''Is that a reference to your lifespan?'' I asked, feeling considerably better now than before. 

''I guess it is, huh?'' She smiled back.  

''How old are you anyway, if I may ask. It'd be nice to know if we start this, you know... I've been curious about it for a while.'' I paused for a second when I realized something. 

''Hold on, how long is a year here anyway?'' 

I hadn't bothered to ask before, but I guessed when it came to age it would be important to know. 

Velariah took strands of her damp hair and rubbed it on the pillows, trying to dry it. 

Sorry about that Vel... 

''A year here consists of 324 days. Twelve months of 27 days. As for your other question, don't you know it's rude to ask an elven maiden her age?''  

I looked up to her. Was it that bad to ask? 

She noticed the confused expression on my face and laughed as she sat up. 

''Just kidding, Elania, I'm twenty-seven. What about you?'' 

''I'm...'' I started. ''I don't know. It appeared I lost that too.'' 

I tried to remember but couldn't. 

''Heh, whatever. No use brooding over it now.'' 

She was right. I was trying to forget. I doubted I would need my age here, anyway. This wasn't Earth anymore. I should get used to it. 

I thought about what she said. 324 days in a year. It would seem the days here are at least a few hours longer. I guessed it would be about the same as an earth year? 

She was still very young then, for an elf. Even for human standards that was fairly young. It did confirm however, that elves reached maturity at about the same age as humans. It seemed life for them simply slowed down after that. 

''Come, let's get something to eat. I'm starving. Aren't you?'' She spoke. 

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''Actually, I'm not hungry at all but I guess I should eat at least something.'' I replied. 

''Good, let's eat something, there's something I wanted to do today.'' 

This was not going to end well for me, was it? 

We had a quick breakfast consisting of stale bread. I had asked Elly if it would be possible to get her hands on lemons. There was something I wanted to try. She said she would buy some the next time there was a shipment coming in from Duskleaf.  

When Velariah had asked what I intended to do with lemons I had told her there were certain ''Life hacks'' that would make life better without much effort.  

She then asked what a ''hack'' was... 

I shrugged and told her I'd perhaps explain one day. It was quite complicated after all. 

When we were heading out Velariah had insisted I'd put on my armor and take my spear with me. I noticed the two boxes were still next to the entrance where I left them the day before. I should probably take those into the bathroom as well, or at least give the dirt one to Valtheril. The sulfur I'd like to keep for myself, maybe give a bit to Valtheril to mix with the dirt so he wouldn't get suspicious of possible other uses.  

'Does Velariah have some kind of quest planned?' I thought as we walked out of the door, fully equipped.  

I hoped it wouldn't be a hard one. 

Instead of walking over to the guild to see our companions, she led the way into the direction of the forest. It made me wonder what exactly she had planned. Were Draco and Seralyn aware? What did they do last night after I left? 

That reminded me of something else entirely. 

''Velariah, how much did you guys get paid yesterday? 

''Fourteen gold, all in all. It was quite a haul, those lynxes brought in more than I'd expected. Turned out that Duskleaf has been flooded with humans who, for some reason, want trophy wall mounts of some of the more... exotic animals.''  

''Exotic animals, huh? Guess we should keep that one in mind.'' I stated. 

''Heh, a lynx is about the most exotic you'll find here. Don't even bother.'' She replied. 

Damn. 

Still, fourteen gold was a motherload compared to what we had earned before. This means our share would be seven gold. I believe we still has two gold left over from before. This meant that after the expenses for having her sword crafted, we'd have five gold to our name. Not bad, but long from where we wanted to be.  

I should check with Valtheril how the coffee thing is going... 

Last time I checked; the fields looked mostly ready for planting.  

I hadn't actually bothered to check on the way back, I'd been too busy making sure we got to Dawnleaf quickly because of a certain wounded elf.  

We reached the outskirts of the village and walked into the grass a bit out from the checkpoint. Velariah unsheathed her weapon which put me on edge. 

''What are you planning to do?'' I asked, stopping to see what she was going to do.  

''Training.'' She said as she turned around and charged at me with the weapon. 

I barely managed to sidestep the attack.  

''With your weapon, you dummy.'' She said as she charged at me again. 

I tried to parry the sword with my spear but found it impossible to do so, the blade at the tip wasn’t large enough to protect against a sword. I could only partly destabilize it, and only temporarily. Velariah could re-stabilize and slash my human body if she wanted to. 

She stopped her swing before that happened though. 

''You sure a spear is for you?'' She asked. 

''Hey, I'm trying hard not to hurt you, alright?''  

I pulled up my fangs to make clear what I meant. If it was a person charging me like that, I would probably pin them down and pump them full of lethal venom.  

''Hmmm.'' She seemed to think for a moment. ''I can see what you mean. You don't think you'd be able to handle a sword in addition to a spear, you know, with four arms and all?'' 

''Maybe I can, it's just that a spear is incredibly easy to learn, and quite effective.'' I explained. 

''Might be worth to consider a sword as a side weapon, just to be able to deflect from close range in case any humanoid enemies make it that close.'' 

I shrugged. ''I guess.'' 

She took a few steps away from me.  

''Let's continue to improve your deflection with a spear first, I'm sure you can do better.'' 

She charged again and I hit the blade of her sword as she held it sideways. While her sword was destabilized and flowing over the wood of the spear, I lifted the spear up, raising the sword high. Four arms of strength were too much for the elf and the sword fell from her hands as her body continued to run to me because of the built-up momentum. I used my pedipalps to stop her charge before she bumped into me.  

''Not bad.'' She said as her face was inches away from mine. ''Let's try that again.'' 

She walked back away and picked up her dropped sword.  

She charged again in the same fashion and I tried to pull off the same move. I was about to hit he sword with the tip when she lowered her swing angle. I completely missed as a result and her charged continued uninterrupted.  

Yep. That was bad.  

She grinned as she brought the sword to a stop again. 

''Again.'' She said as she walked away again. 

Screw that. I'm gonna use all the tricks I have.  

I lowered my abdomen to the grass as she was walking away and not paying attention. I dropped some sticky silk and lifted it up again without breaking the thread.  

When Velariah charged at me again, I pretended to focus on her sword as I took a few steps back.  

She never even knew what hit her.  

Before she realized what I was doing, I had already moved back enough to have her step into the sticky trap that I had just created. As she stood there, stuck and confused I put my spear against her mail chest carefully and pushed her over.  

She landed on her bum and fell down further on her back. She was completely stuck and I walked up to her. I grabbed her feet and stretched her legs before lowering myself onto her lap with my pedipalps pushing her down on her shoulders. 

''How's that then?'' I asked as I talked to my immobilized ''prey''. 

''Heh, not bad, but not good enough.'' 

She raised her sword with one hand and tried to swing weakly, knowing it would not pierce my chest plate. Unfortunately for her, she was too slow and I simply deflected the attack with one of my legs, disarming her in the process. 

''You were saying?'' I taunted her. 

''Elania, stop teasing me like this.'' 

''What do you mean?'' I asked. 

A voice interrupted Velariah who was about to answer. 

''Oh my, I didn't know the lovebirds were into that stuff.'' 

''She's right behind me, isn't she?'' I asked with a sigh. 

Velariah nodded. 

Seriously. Was Seralyn going to show up every time Velariah and I were alone? And at the most awkward of times too?  

At this point it wouldn’t even surprise me she walked into my (our?) bedroom when we were doing... advanced relationship things. 

Would we get that far? The thoughts made me blush. 

I didn't dare to look at the other elf while I was still blushing. Thankfully Velariah spoke for me. 

''What do you want Seralyn?'' 

''Oh, you know, just making sure you weren't going to do stupid things. It seems you still managed to get yourself into a... let's call it a sticky situation despite not going far from the village. Seriously, how did you manage that? Anyways, a new quest was posted. Apparently, there's a troll warlord that needs taking down in the forest. Draco has already accepted it and is signing us up for it.'' 

''I do hope you weren't planning on doing that today? Elania and I were in the middle of... training.'' 

''Oh, so that's what they call that nowadays? No, we'll head out for it tomorrow. You guys can go and finish your...'' She paused. ''Training.'' 

Velariah sighed and I could feel my blush intensifying.  

''Alright, we'll head out tomorrow then. We'll see you at the guild at noon, hopefully Coldanus will have my sword finished by then.''  

''Cya later, lovebirds.'' Seralyn's voice called. 

I waited for a few seconds before I asked. 

''Is she gone?''  

Velariah nodded. 

''You mind getting me out of this... sticky situation?'' She grinned. 

''Maybe I do.'' I smiled. ''Maybe I do.'' 

Faragi

Reminder that there is an outstanding contest for writing a proper synopsis for this story. I'd like to post the possible options tomorrow with the new chapter (If I dont feel terrible) so time is running short!

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