Chapter 24: Chapter Twenty-Three: Pair Bonding

           “So what now, your Majestic Mighty Majesty?” Hugh asked as they made their way out.

            Leo grabbed a pear from a nearby tree and threw it at Hugh, where it squished against the bronze scales of his back.

            “Ugh, gross.” Hugh tried to turn himself to get at it. He finally rolled over, rubbed himself against the grass, and then ran to catch up with them.

            Leo held onto his wolf mount. “Well, I think what we should do is split up. We have two people who are now mounted, myself and Val—”

            “Don’t even think about it,” Hugh said. “I can match speed with that wolf now that I’ve made a few levels, even if I can’t go quite as long. And I can carry Lily the whole way. There’s no way you can convince me to sit this one out.”

            Leo was touched but still tried for the logical response. “You’re a gleaming bronze tiger, for crying out loud. Even by our group’s admittedly bad standards, you have all the stealth of a rhinoceros charge. You should go back.”

            “Don’t compare me to a cat. And I’m not going back.” Hugh smacked the cobblestone road with his tail, something he tended to do when angry or excited.

            “I just meant in size, buddy. I know you’re a mighty lizard.”

            Hugh huffed. “I can tell you’re being sarcastic. I’m not dumb. I’m also not leaving.”

            Leo sighed in surrender. “Fine. At least stay back a bit.”

            “Sure.”

            Hugh turned to Lily. “All right, princess, mount me so we can get going.”

            Damn it, Hugh.

            Cheeks slightly pink, Lily scrabbled, with help and awkwardly, atop the dragon.

            Wolten picked up the pace, going into a loping jog. Leo grabbed two handfuls of neck fur and tried to ignore the jouncing of his coccyx and… other parts. Fortunately, it was a mere few miles to their target.

            Hugh, Wolten, and Helwo carried their charges through the forest, and then, once they’d returned to the marble road, picked up the speed to a run.

            Which caused Leo a near panic. He clamped on to Wolten with his thighs and held on for dear life. It was one of the more stressful fifteen minutes that Leo had ever undertaken, as they flew north up the cobblestone road next to the Blue River.

            Soon, the trees became entirely organized but overgrown orchards, and rotting, wooden fences and clogged drainage ditches began to appear along the roadside.

            “Stop!” Leo called out, yanking on Wolten’s neck fur.

            Wolten stopped hard, and Leo went over the front with a yelled, “Whoa!”

Leo hit the ground and rolled expertly, coming up with only a few bruises for his trouble.

            The others stopped more slowly, Hugh laughing boisterously and Lily giggling with her hand in front of her face. Even Val had a slight smile.

            So much for my royal majesty. Leo rubbed his butt. His end hurt from both the ride and the end of said ride. Always with the word games.

            “I think we’re close to our destination,” Leo muttered, pointing toward the ditch and fences. “Lily said that most of the little towns here were orchard towns. I can’t be sure, but logic would indicate that the orcs would establish themselves in an urban area to avoid having to clear a forest or build a whole new fort. We should continue our journey on foot, through the trees on the side of the road.”

            Lily and Val nodded, and all of them moved across a dirt-filled section of drainage ditch and past a completely rotted fence that had collapsed into the orchard on the other side—an orchard filled with apple trees.

            Leo snatched one to eat—as opposed to using it as a missile against Hugh—as they walked. Well, he walked. The others were still riding. Leo bit the apple with a loud crunch, reflecting he wasn’t exactly as stealthy as a ninja, but any hope of that had died with Hugh regardless. He moved through the undergrowth like three elephants tap-dancing. Once they saw the enemy base, Leo figured he’d ask Hugh to wait and try to be a bit stealthier if he needed further information.

            A few minutes—and a few orchards traipsed through—later, Leo gazed upon the enemy. They had come through the last set of trees—pear, this time—and looked upon the ruins of a small town. Most of the buildings had shattered walls or roofs, and Leo thought he recognized giant dragonclaw prints still embedded in the ground. A few things looked scorched and even exploded.

            Throughout the ruins of the city, Leo spotted the tents of orcs, and the orcs themselves. He hadn’t seen one since his brief and disastrous arrival in this world a month ago. Each of the orcs was close to seven feet tall, with gray skin and small tusks around their mouths, and looked like roided-out gym rats. The single large camp had numerous elf slaves, doing menial labor or suffering abuses.

            A few orcs rode wargs around the town in small patrols. Leo thought at least twenty were mounted that he saw, with another twenty or so unmounted wargs roaming free.

            Based on the few tents he could clearly see the occupants of and the total number of tents, Leo’s quick estimate put the total number at around two hundred enemies. They had a pier of sorts, with two galleys on it, but very few orcs were there.

            We only have eighty of our own soldiers, Leo thought. They’re significantly better equipped than these guys—who are in hide, with mostly wood and bone weapons. Still, I’ve fought orcs, and they’re hideously strong and tough. Although nothing compared to the wargs. Without the wargs, and with the advantage of surprise, I’d give us a solid chance at least.

            A huge building, just off the center square, remained intact. It was constructed entirely of marble, including a marble fence around the outside. It was long and flat, but for a single tower in the front. The top of the tower had a tree symbol etched into its facing.

            Inside the marble fence, cages had been constructed—large ones. Hundreds of people were inside. Most were obviously high elves, with their lithe bodies, pale skin, and metallic-colored hair, but a few had dusky-gray skin and pure-white hair.

            “Deep elves,” Lily said from Hugh’s back, her voice complex. “And they’re holding them and the high elves both in a desecrated temple to Iluvin Eteria, the Wyld Goddess.”

            Hugh snorted. “What the heck are deep elves? How many varieties do mortals come in? Can I get a spotted river elf to keep around the cave?”

            For a brief second, Leo wondered if a spotted river elf was a real thing—he’d seen rabbit and ox people, after all.

            “Who are the deep elves?” Leo asked Lily, choosing not to acknowledge Hugh’s questionable humor.

            “What are the deep elves,” Lily said, her brow furrowed. “They’re a different subspecies of elf, similar to the high elves, but they gave up the light thousands of years ago. Now they live in the deeps of our world. There was once a colony of them where the goblins of the Dark Warren live now. They fell years before the kingdom did.”

            “I don’t mean to pry,” Leo started, then he stopped and laughed. “Okay, that’s a lie. I’m totally trying to pry. Why are you weird about the deep elves?”

            Lily took a deep breath. “Well, once upon a time, they refused to join the Kingdom of Averia. Multiple times, really. It was an ongoing political scandal, and there were talks under multiple kings and queens of absorbing them by force.”

            “And?”

            “We made an alliance with them instead. While they certainly weren’t the first people the old kingdom didn’t defend from the orcs of the Blood Tribes, it was the only case of the kingdom not coming to the aid of an explicitly elven ally. Like we abandoned our cousins. The few who escaped had long and bitter memories of what they called our ‘betrayal.’ But at the time, the elves who ruled our kingdom held that it was their prideful lord’s fault for not joining us.”

            “Hmm…”

            “Also, deep elves don’t tend to do as well as other elves aboveground,” Lily said. “They might be a liability if we rescue them. And I suspect most of them remember the past and will be antagonistic to the return of Averia, not supportive. We might want to leave them, even if it pains me, for the sake of the other elves.”

            “You know Leo’s not gonna let so much as one person go un-rescued.” Hugh snorted. “Why even bring it up? It’s good-deeds-card time. Those deep elves are already rescued. They just don’t know it yet.”

            Leo smiled at Hugh. “Glad to see you know me, buddy. Remind me to teach you the explode-it fist at some point. Of course we’re going to save the deep elves as well.”

            “You’re not even going to condition the rescue on them acknowledging your authority?” Lily asked.

            Leo shook his head. “Of course not. If they came to me and asked me to use resources on them, perhaps I would put some conditions on it—but trying to turn to my advantage a rescue I’ll be making regardless just seems like a good way to build enmity.”

            Lily smiled slightly. “Silly me, bringing up political realities. Let’s go save everyone. I suppose it will at least feel good.”

            Leo heard yelling from the direction of the road.

            “Why is this scouting trip so insane?” Leo asked, mind-boggled. “Is it too much to ask for a moment to actually scout? Or are the orcs so incompetent that they can’t even keep track of their borders?”

Leo sprinted toward the shouts, through the orchard.

“Wait for us!” Hugh cried, running after Leo. “You need to start giving warnings when you plan an insane charge into danger!”

“I’m coming, my lord!” Val yelled as she hurried after him.

Leo managed to resist the obvious joke this time.

            As they approached, Leo saw an eleven- or twelve-year-old deep elf—dusky skin, short, white hair, yellow eyes, and elf ears—running as hard as he could down the cobblestone road. He had a large knife in one hand, one with blood dripping down its oddly curved and segmented blade.

            Two orcs, one with a massive club and the other with a steel-headed spear, neither wearing armor, were pounding after the kid and catching up rapidly, their seven-foot bodies’ stride far too long for the four-and-three-quarters-foot child to run from.

            “Leo, wait!” Lily cried from Hugh’s back.

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Leo ran from the trees of the orchard and onto the road without stopping. He drew his sword as he did and hit the spear-carrying orc in his neck before it even knew Leo was there. The hit, backed by Leo’s stat increases and magic bracers, carried enough force that he cut to the bone even with a running one-handed slash. The orc gave a weird grunt, dropped his spear, and fell, grabbing at the gushing wound.

            I wasn’t exactly stealthy there—was he that focused on the kid? Leo wondered. Or do orcs have naturally bad perception?

            The other orc swung his club just as the kid turned to look behind him, and the kid dropped to the ground with a yell. He rolled to a sitting position, legs out in front of him, slightly spread.

            The kid’s eyes widened in fear as the orc brought the club up above his head. “Bahk do, Quiv Elvesti!”

            Hugh hit the second orc at full charge, as he was wont to do, bull-rushing through him teeth-first. In an almost-replay of the first time Leo had watched Hugh turn his size and momentum into a deadly attack, the club did a lazy spin before coming down head-first between the kid’s knees.

            The kid scrambled back but didn’t yelp or otherwise cry out. He got to his feet, knife carried loosely in his right hand, yellow eyes darting around.

            “Are you okay?” Leo asked in Middle Averian. He put his sword back in its sheath as he received the death notification for the orc he’d slashed and walked up to the child.

            “Who are you?” the child asked, his voice shaky.
            “Leo Evans,” Leo replied, squatting slightly so he could talk to the child on his own level.

            The child’s hand tightened on his dagger, the only warning Leo got as the child brought the dagger flashing around, placing the oddly curved blade against Leo’s neck.

            “What the—” Leo started to yell, but he quieted as the kid pressed the blade in slightly.

            “Don’t move, don’t talk,” the kid hissed. “I’m in charge now.”

            It doesn’t work like that, Leo thought.

            The kid’s eyes focused over Leo’s shoulder, and he yelled, “No bows!”

            That must be Val.

            “You’ve got a dragon working with you,” the kid said, turning his eyes back to Leo. “So, uppy elf, this is what you have to do. You’re going to have to send your dragon in to rescue my mom and sister, and when they’re back, you can go free. Okay?”

            Uppy? What does that mean?

            “Um, I was already going to rescue all the elves in the camp,” Leo muttered. “I’ve got a company of mercenaries, Cavendil’s Coterie, waiting for my scouting report so that we can attack the base.”

            The boy hardened his glare. “You’re trying to trick me!  Everyone knows uppy elves are evil tricksters! You have to send your dragon now.”

            “What’s your name?” Leo asked gently. And why are so many of my first meetings antagonistic? It feels like the high elves left a very bad taste in most people’s mouths.

            “Zirvyl Xolterra ap Veltear, but everyone calls me ‘Zir,’” the kid—Zir—said.

            Lily gasped as she walked up to him.

            What now? And how long will I be here before stuff just makes sense to me? Also, when did she get off Hugh?

            Hugh, his mouth bloody, also came up next to their little drama, his head tilted to the side.

            The kid gritted his teeth. “That’s right! I’m the next Archduke Veltear.”

            In that moment, his attention wasn’t on Leo. Leo grabbed the kid’s wrist in a blur of movement and pushed the knife from his neck.

            “No!” Zir yelled, trying to yank his hands free and then, when that failed, he kicked Leo square in his unmentionables.

            Leo managed to hold on to the knife hand even as agony coursed through him, and Zir didn’t try to escape, instead dropping the blade from his captured right hand into his left.

            Hugh nudged the kid, hard. Zir face-planted onto the road with an “oof” of exhaled breath and a slight crack. Before Zir could do anything else, Hugh put his giant forepaw on the kid’s lower back, pinning him down.

            “That looks like it hurt, buddy,” Hugh said as he gazed at Leo, who was bent over and cupping the family jewels. “This is another reason dragons are better than elves. It’s all on the inside with us. No awkwardly hanging, vulnerable reproductive organs on this dragon, no siree.”

            Val and Lily snorted laughter, and Val said, “Only male elves.”

            “It’s the empathy that I like about you most, pal,” Leo ground out to Hugh, the pain lessening enough that he was able to stand again.

            At the same time, Zir said, “Just kill me, then, you ass uppy elf! I hate you!”
            “Hugh, let him up, please,” Leo said.

Hugh withdrew his paw.

            Zir rolled and then back-hopped to his feet, knife held at the ready.

            “I was serious,” Leo said. “I really do have a mercenary force, and I really do plan to save everyone.”

            Zir glared at him suspiciously. “What plan?”

            “I don’t have a plan, yet, I just plan to save everyone.”

            “How?”

            Leo ground his teeth together and changed the subject. “What does ‘uppy’ mean?”

            Lily stepped forward. “It’s a derogatory term that some of the less optimized elves used to describe the high elves. It is a derivation of ‘uppity,’ referring to our supposed arrogance. It gained widespread usage during the time of Queen Jynellae Stardew, when the subject nations were mostly abandoned, and the high elf houses thought their time would last forever.”

            Less optimized?

            “It means you’re a wine-drinking, good-for-nothing layabout elf who thinks his poop smells like flowers,” Zir said. “Like all the high elves.”

            I swear if it doesn’t start antagonistic on this kooky world, it isn’t a real relationship, Leo thought to himself.

            Maybe Zir noticed his frustration because he lowered his knife. “Thanks for killing those orcs. They’re way worse than high elves. Sorry I threatened you.”

            “Yeah, no problem, kid,” Leo said. “How old are you, by the way?”

            “I’m twelve.”

            Leo turned to Lily. “How old is that in elf years?”

            Lily smiled and started lecturing. “Elves age at the same rate as humans until they’re just post-pubescent, and then they reach full, final growth—twenty-five years of age or so for a human—in about their sixtieth year. After that, elves stay that age, physically, until perhaps three hundred and fifty, and then over the next seventy years or so slowly age until full senescence sets in and they die. Absent magic, of course. A sufficiently strong Body or Wyld user could theoretically become immortal.”

            Leo pondered this. Good to know I might be able to become immortal. Way to drop that on a guy.

            “Or an Entropy user might be able to become an undead deathlord!” Zir said, his eyes alight.

            Whelp, this kid is now creepier than the Children of the Corn.

            Zir continued. “So, are you going to save my family now? Have you thought of a plan yet?”

            “I’m a bit outnumbered at the moment. My soldiers are outnumbered, I mean. I need to even the odds somehow. They have two hundred, including forty warg riders. Any fight I start against those odds will likely result in a slaughter. Of us.”

            “Send for more soldiers?” Lily asked. “I mean, we have a ton of gold still. We could hire reinforcements.”

            More soldiers… “Actually, I have an idea,” Leo murmured. “I think I can kill the forty warg riders, draw them out and finish them tonight. Then it’ll be a hundred and sixty poorly organized and equipped orcs versus our well-armed and armored eighty.”

As the plan coalesced in his mind, Leo laughed. “Oh, man, Lily, you’re going to love this. We need to scout the main route into the village ahead, and you and Hugh will need to go back to camp and talk to Commander Meryl, but I think Me, Val, Wolten, and Helwo can legit even the odds…”

            “Oh.” Hugh nudged Zir, who stumbled a few paces to the side. “I used to be skeptical, but I’ve learned that when Leo gets ideas, it can get pretty exciting.”

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