Chapter 41: Chapter 41 – Transportation

I directly explained the whole plan I had in mind, then gave her a couple of very strong, durable, and thick leathers I had in my inventory. After talking some more and asking her about Cai Yi I returned to the watchtower to continue practicing Mind Link.

After three hours I finally managed to learn it. Even though I had no one to try it on, I was pretty sure it was a success.

I could feel my thoughts becoming wordless the moment they come in contact with the link I formed.

I flew on top of the watchtower and looked at the situation below, the project was coming in nicely. All that was left were the little hammocks inside.

The idea I had was fairly simple, we will sew together a couple of huts and thus make a very long and wide cloth. Afterward, we would tie the ends of the big cloth together and the women would be able to lie inside of it whilst I carry it with my claws.

The only issue was that they would not be able to stay in that tough condition for a long time because due to their weight they'd be all mashed up and smashing against each other at the bottom of the 'bag'. Hence, the tree!

The tree log would be put in the middle of the cloth thus forcing it to stay wide in the middle, and it'd provide a space in which they'd be able to build small hammocks, or more like swings using the tree so that they could sit somewhat comfortably, maybe they might add back support even.

The only prerequisite was the strength of the cloth to be able to carry that log and the weight of the women without tearing apart. Here is where the leather comes in, so I instructed Jia to tell the seamstress to make an opening for both ends of the log and enforce them with the leathers I gave her.

Looking at my final project, I felt very proud! It was great to see an idea come to life.

Thankfully, all the materials used were very strong thus giving a chance for this plan to work. Even the huts were not simple, they were a couple of inches thick and they seemed sturdy.

I also noticed that Cai Yi was awake, she was sitting by herself looking at the campfire, there was not even a fire before maybe she lit it herself.

I dove down and landed beside the western gate and kept looking at Jia, it was our little signal so that she'd approach me.

"Nice work, it looks perfect", I said softly after she was just a couple of meters from me.

She laughed and said with a surprised expression, "That's a very great idea, how did you come up with it? People usually use carriages and other things this one is a first!"

The idea was really simple, if people never thought about it was probably because there were better alternatives or she was just not aware of it. However, it was indeed a good idea using the limited options we had.

"Originally, I just wanted to toss you in a big bag and take you away, but fortunately it evolved on its own to suit your comfort," I said jokingly, though that was exactly my thought process when I came up with it. I then added another question, "How many seats would there be inside of it?"

"After squeezing and utilizing every bit of space we only managed to make seven", she said.

"Perfect, I will carry the remaining three on my back", I said assuring her. It was within my expectations, now the question is whether I'd be able to carry all of them.

If we calculate that each one of them weighs about 60-70 Kg on average and the log around 100-150 maybe? It'd be a whopping 750 KG, that's almost a ton!

I still had another countermeasure in case I could not carry all of that weight.

I glanced in the direction of Cai Yi, and turned to look at Jia "How is she?", I asked.

She turned around, looked at her, and sighed, "She has not said anything and she did not eat nor drink." She paused for a second and asked with a pleading expression, "Do you have a pill that could heal her scars please?"

I had already thought of that before, I had three dark green pills that seemed to be the strongest among the pills the leader had. I could tell that just by sensing the rich vital healing mana contained within, but I was not entirely sure whether they'd be able to heal her scars. They were not simple, it was as if her grudge materialized some sort of curse against herself that prevented those scars from recovering.

Previously, just the pink pill given by the leader to the bald guy was able to close his wound and almost remove any sign of an injury being there. Yet, she consumed the dark red pill that was of an even higher quality than the former and the scars remained which I found to be very odd.

Maybe emotions were not just intangible things that do not affect just the one who feels them in this world of magic? Or maybe the bald guy is stronger and thus managed to completely use the pill? Or the fact that she was unconscious and the pill needed active guidance of its healing properties? Hmm...

Jia was still waiting for my reply while I was lost in thoughts, "Yes, of course! I will be waiting for her outside of the camp, tell her to come."

Hearing my answer she looked overjoyed and said, "Alright! Wait I'll tell her that you're looking for her!"

I did not know if she knew I was the one who saved them instead of a beastmaster, maybe she did not even care she had enough on her plate already. The gate was still open, I flew out and landed on the branch of a tree a couple of meters from the entrance of the camp.

After a couple of minutes, I saw Cai Yi walking toward the gate. She was wearing a robe and had her face covered, but you could still see the outline of her face and neck which were covered with terrifying scars.

At first glance, it was a scary dreadful sight and you'd be terrified when meeting such a person. However, if you knew the story behind the scars you would only feel a deep sympathy towards her.

As she got out of the camp, she started looking around. Of course, she would not be able to sense me, I slowly moved my wing and pushed away a small branch making a small rustling sound.

I looked down, and she looked up.

Then! Our eyes met and her previously dead-looking face could not help but change for a second. Not due to fear mind you! Or maybe it was indeed fear, but it was not from me I could tell.

Both of us were reminded of that scene before the bandits were massacred when she was throwing all sorts of things at me with a crazed expression.

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I of course understood her intentions back then, but I could not kill her, because I knew I was in the process of helping her so it was only a matter of time.

She kept looking at me for a while, then as if she was reminded of something she looked away and remained silent.

She was not that much surprised, it seemed that either Jia told her or she remembers when she woke up half-conscious the other time.

I grabbed one of the dark green pills from my inventory and controlled it with my mana keeping it hovering between us, noticing that was she looking at it, and I said "Take it, it'll heal your scars." then I moved the pill close to her face.

Her eyes were looking intently at the pill, even though it looked like it was an easy decision, it seemed as if it involved a lot of emotions for her.

After a while, she looked at me and said softly, "I don't need it."

"I still have a lot of them, don't worry!" I said trying to assure her because I thought maybe she was aware of the value of the pill and did not want to accept it or seem rude.

"I don't need it.", she said once again, this time her voice sounded low and a bit broken. Just like the voice of someone who's doing their best to suppress the emotions they're going through from showing in their voice.

Sigh... Hearing her answer I had some ideas on why she did not accept it. After the bandits died, all of the blame and hate she had toward them was maybe directed at herself. Even though, rationally she did nothing wrong nor did she have to blame herself for what happened to her or her brother. But we are emotional creatures first and foremost, reason does not play a very big part in how we approach our inward problems at all.

The question is, would anything have changed if we did approach it by reason? Let's say she understood that she was weak due to several factors that were outside of her control. Affinity, resources, experiences, wisdom, luck, and many other things, would that hate and blame simply vanish? It wouldn't.

I took back the pill and looked at her, then I flew towards the gate and I carried the body of the leader with claws and picked up the head using my beak.

Surprisingly, it still looked as if it was killed just a few moments ago. The other leaders also had their bodies stuck to the gate, I left them there for display. The women would come from time to time to look at them, one of them even started hysterically punching one of the corpses until she grew tired and started crying, the other women did not stop her of course because they could understand emotions she was going through.

I threw the headless corpse towards her and opened my beak to throw the head as I was returning to my previous spot in the tree.

Seeing the corpse and the face of her tormentor, she was petrified! She was visibly shaking, and I noticed a few tear drops at the edge of her face.

"It was all his fault, a weak man's lack of empathy because he had no respect for anybody and only sought to benefit himself at the expense of others. Once upon a time, he was probably just an innocent cute kid. I'm not saying this so that you sympathize with him, the dead are dead and have no use for such things. When life got difficult, he made his choice and chose the version of reality in which he could live with utmost comfort. Unfortunately, his version of comfort included doing whatever he wanted without care. Slowly he turned him to this force of evil and destruction that you happened to come across.

However, sympathize with yourself, there was nothing you could have done. You could not save your brother because you did not have the strength to do so, and you did not have it because that was where life lead you until that point. Maybe you had no great desire for strength because life was simple back then, maybe you did and you did your best and this was the level you achieved with the limited options you had.

I do not want to lecture you even though that is what I'm doing, but if there is one thing I'm sure of, hating yourself is not the answer. The longer you keep on doing that, the bigger would that self-hate or shame or whatever emotion becomes, then at some point once it reaches a certain threshold that you are no longer able to bear, that self-hate would have to transform and change. You would either kill yourself due to the unimaginable pain you feel every day and the loss of anything beautiful you had inside of you. Or even worse, all of that hate would shift and turn towards other people. Maybe you'd start massacring bandits left and right, maybe you'd start killing all men indiscriminately the possibilities are endless. Though one thing is certain you'd also become a force of evil and destruction devoid of any warmth whatsoever. Essentially, you'd become the thing you hated the most, Him." I finished by gesturing with my wing to the leader's corpse.

Seeing that she was crying, I quickly added, "If you happen to agree with what I said, don't fall into the trap of hating yourself because you hate yourself, that's another vicious cycle. Just drop all expectations on what you should or should not feel, process everything, and let it out. Hate, grieve, cry do what you will. Just don't lose yourself in the process". I knew that even though what I was saying was rational, she was going through a lot of emotions that involves self-hate, blame and shame and would not necessarily see what I was trying to say. Suddenly, I had a lightbulb moment! I just needed to show her the exact situation she was currently going through just without her self-hate and all the emotions involved so that she'd be able to see it with much more clarity. It was like how people are great at giving advice to other people, but when it comes to their own issues they suck. Because there are a lot of emotions involved there that cloud their judgment.

I stopped speaking for a while, then I said, "Imagine that you were the one who died in that incident, and the one who I'm speaking to right now is your brother." at the mention of her brother her movement stopped completely. It caught me off guard! I had no idea whether this was a good or a bad thing, I hurriedly continued what I was going to say, "What if it was your brother who went through all of this and now blames himself for your death, and you know that he did nothing wrong. What would you have wanted to say to him from your grave? Don't answer me, just in your mind. What you'd have told him is the same thing he wishes for you to know right now and it's what you should know."

*Thud*

She dropped to her knees, then she put her forehead on the ground while holding her head with both hands, and I could hear her sobbing quietly.

"Take your time, and forgive yourself for not living up to some crazy expectations. Emotions are strange things, they affect each one of us differently so no use to compare yourself to others. Whether it takes you a day, a month, or a year is all the same. What matters is that you live on, because you're a very wonderful person I could tell", I finished talking, then I flew far away whilst making sure I was hitting my wings together to produce sound.

I said the first part so that she could allow herself to grieve as much as she needed to without feeling like a failure for not moving on quickly or something because I was trying to help her. I intentionally made a sound because at the end of the day we don't know each other that well, and being completely vulnerable and crying heavily in front of someone is difficult for some, I could tell from the way she was doing her best to hold her emotions. So, I gave her the space to be on her own.

Frankly, I had no idea whether I was helping her or making things worse. There is a very fine line between the two, it's so difficult to know exactly what to say to people because you have no idea what they've been through and how they had processed and internalized what happened to them. However, what matters the most is the intention behind what you're saying.

Still, I took the chance and talked to her because from what I had heard from Jia, she was a very happy-go-lucky person and seemed always cheerful. Psychological issues grow in time, the more you keep feeding them through thoughts the bigger they become. It's only been around a week since that dreadful incident and only a day since she started hating herself instead of the bandits. Theoretically, giving a kind push in the right direction might do the trick, but you never knew with things like this...

Ultimately, I did everything reasonably within my control, any more than that, and I'd just make things worse for her. Whether she pushes through or not is not my business, not in a bitter kind of way like 'I don't care what happens to her I did what I could she can only blame herself'. But just a fact if she dies and gives up on herself I'd feel sad for her for a while, but at the end of the day, I will move on.

Life is constantly moving, moment to moment. Its nature is dynamic, to be static and hold onto the past is to lose touch with life. We should approach the past just like how ants would approach a handful of sugar mixed with debris, dirt, and sand. They pick up the sugar and throw the rest.

I was planning to go talk with the Mama bird but after my conversation with her, I felt a bit melancholic about the whole ordeal. I told Jia to leave give her alone, then I returned to my safe watchtower to cultivate.

Right now, I finished everything within the camp, I only needed to make some final arrangements tomorrow and we'd depart for Vance City!

I reactivated my Dao Field, and I could immediately sense a change occurring to a radius of 200 meters with me as the center. The women below of course could also feel it, but they'd have no idea about where it's coming from.

The mana became abundant and elemental laws made more sense compared to before, and I closed my eyes to continue cultivating.

(Author's Note: A humble representation of the carriage "Bag", )

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