I didn't have to ask what it was, I knew exactly what it meant.
And I wasn't a kid enough to rant and rave like a brat, denying the words and spouting blue words.
Isn't there any way ......... you can help Suela and the kid?
That's how hard the word lurks on me.
It was as if the word despair had become a pressure, gripping my heart and making me feel suffocated.
But that doesn't mean I've given up hope enough to give in to those words, to acknowledge and dismiss them as okay.
Leaning against the wall, nodding, almost despairing, but in my head I'm still trying to figure out how to help both the parent (Suela) and the child.
My knowledge of earth and my knowledge of this company, both of which are limited in terms of birth knowledge, medical knowledge and medicine knowledge, is poor.
That's true.
I was a humble businessman before, and now I am a fighter.
I'm not a doctor or a pharmacist or whatever it is that helps people.
The doctor said that Suela would be a month at the earliest before she gave birth, which he said was still premature, but that it was just barely enough to keep the child healthy.
Wanting to deny the word "I don't know," to cling to the possibility, and yet not wanting to give up even when confronted with the fact that I was helpless, I asked Evvia to cling to her and ask her how.
She knew that she would hear these words, so she sat down on her knees and gently explained to me as if she were talking to me.
I can only see Evvia squatting down, and I don't know what she looks like talking to me.
And we have only two weeks to keep things as they are. I'm not talking about money or medicine inventory or not being able to continue treatment. I'm not talking about money or medication inventory or the inability to continue treatment, I'm talking about Suela's energy needs beyond that.
"Huh.
Her voice is gentle, but she's a harsh reality.
I know she's telling me this because she thinks it's what I need to hear.
A hand gently placed on my shoulder is proof enough.
I know it's wrong to blame Evvia for this.
But where the hell should I direct these insurmountable emotions?
It would have been better to be blamed for my bad behavior, and Evvia keeps me from even feeling self-loathing.
This is a dungeon. This is a dungeon. I can create an environment in which the magic supply itself is fine under my authority. But no matter how much magic is supplied, it's only through Suela's body that the magic is delivered to the child. There's a limit to the amount of magic power that can be supplied through the magic print. Even if you send magic power into Suera's body, that magic power will always be supplied to the child.
I can't help but nod emphatically at Evvia when she asks if I understand.
If there's anything you can do, Evia will do it.
If you strengthen Suela with magic or medicine, you have no idea what it will do to the mother and the baby.
And she will surely show me the hard way what I should do.
If I can't do that...
"And a being without magic will gradually lose strength and eventually begin to weaken.
You know the rest.
And even Evvia herself sounded frustrated, showing me the future.
".........
But she couldn't even nod, let alone reply to those words.
Even if there is a way to say that giving up the child would help Suela, I remember her face, which had a smile on her face every day, looking forward to the child.
.........
".........
".........
".........
I'm not the only one who knows that.
Memoria and others were sobbing and sobbing softly.
Is it Keely who banged on the wall with a gun?
It was Himiku who gently fell to his knees.
And I'm sure Evvia herself is frustrated that she's holding on to my shoulder with a firm grip.
You'll be able to find out the best way to help them.
Do I have to give up?
It was as if a sound similar to my voice was echoing in my head.
No, it wasn't.
That voice was definitely coming from my heart.
I wanted to shake it off, and I tried to hate it.
"So you're going to leave Suela and kill her child?
I want to scream no to that too.
Of the three lives, there is a way to save one of them.
But you can't save two of them.
Clawing to save three won't save three.
One or zero. That choice will cruelly rip my heart out.
"Think, is there time to think?
It was the only word I could squeeze out of such a feeling.
There was no way I could make a quick decision.
......... limit is three days. Currently, we can't wait any longer if we're going to reliably help Suela. The more time that goes by, the more physical strength will certainly be drained out of Suela. To get something as big as a child out of her body, you know.
Evvia answers my questions without laughing at me for being so indecisive.
Then he brutally tells me to make a decision on such an important matter in three days.
What can you do in three days?
Do we wish to God that technology would be created that would miraculously help a pregnant woman with the same condition?
Can you meet ......... Suela?
In the midst of such a cliffhanger, I thought about what I should do and came up with the desire to see Suela.
I couldn't come up with any solution, and that was the best I could do in my head.
Yeah.
My wish was granted by Evvia.
I whipped my weak body to go through the tightly closed door, then stood up, the purification spell was cast on me, and then, wrapped in a faint warding-like membrane, we were led to Suela's place.
"Suela.
It was not the intensive care room I knew.
The first thing I saw when I entered was a shallow bathtub-like structure.
Other than that, there is no medical equipment other than what looks like a tiny genie floating around.
The bathtub was constantly dripping with a light green liquid, which seemed to be constantly changing into something new.
There, lying there, dressed in bathing suit-like clothing, soaking her body in the pale greenish liquid, Suela was asleep.
She didn't respond to my call, she just slept silently.
"A potion that allows you to absorb magic efficiently. Although the concentration of magic in this room itself is set high, it is not effective in absorbing magic by itself. That's why I had no choice but to do this now.
Evvia standing beside me and explaining to me how to treat me.
I couldn't help but wonder vaguely if this was the method of treatment.
I thought it would be like an intravenous drip, passing through a tube to replenish the magic power through the blood vessels, but I was a little relieved to find that it was different than I had imagined.
Standing by the side of the tub, I peered in and saw that she was so peaceful as if she was really just asleep.
I even entertained the childish idea that if I shouted, she would jump up and down.
......... Is it safe to hold your hand?
You can't do such a thing, reasoning that it's impossible, but just coming to the side made me desire to touch her.
The gloved doctor wiped Suela's hand out of the tub and asked me to take it.
"Suela.
I held your hand, so what can you do.
I take hold of Suela's left hand with both hands as if to say that such words of reason are irrelevant.
The warmth of her faintly warm hand is proof that she's alive and gives me a sense of security in my heart.
What do I do?
And that sense of security loosens the fetters she's been holding back, making her feel weak.
There is no way those words could have reached her as she slept.
Evvia told me the time limit is three days, but I don't think I'll be able to make this decision as time goes on.
If I had to make it, now would be the time. I knew intuitively that I couldn't make it except for this moment when I was holding Suela's hand.
I knew that any decision I made at any other time would be a decision I would definitely regret.
The doctor would allow me a few minutes at best.
I had to make a decision during that time.
At that thought, I couldn't help but squeeze Suela's hand in mine.
"! Suela!
Maybe it was a conditioned reflex.
Maybe it was just that my hand was hurting.
Still, for a moment, a voice escaped from Suela's mouth, and I called her name as quickly as I could.
People around me may have noticed the reaction, and their eyes are drawn to it.
......... Jirou-san?
Then, he opened his eyes, looked around slowly, noticed me holding his hand, and called my name.
Yeah, yeah.
Suela is awake. I was so happy despite the fact that it was just that, the words of the female doctor behind me saying she couldn't believe it fell on deaf ears.
All I could do was nod my head in affirmation of my name.
"I'm going to...
When Suela wakes up, she's trying to remember what happened, as if she doesn't know what's going on.
I'm not sure how to explain to her.
"Suela, listen to me.
"Evia, sir?
Quickly and without hesitation, Evvia stepped forward and began to explain the current situation.
To a newly awakened woman who doesn't yet have a grasp of her current situation, I told her in a concise and straightforward manner.
It was the kindness of Evvia to make you decide in the meantime that you can't stay awake forever, and the probability of you waking up when you go to sleep again is lower.
.........
"Do you understand?
"Yes.
When I've finished explaining all the details of the current situation, where the lives of Suela and the child are in danger and there is no way to save the child, Suela's voice remains weak, but she can feel her grip tighten as she tries to stay conscious.
Jiro-san.
She calls me.
"Yes.
I had to wait quietly for her words.
And I had already decided what I was going to do.
And I knew that the words that were about to be spoken, the words that would determine my future actions.
"I don't want to die.
So, in a hoarse voice, she let her thoughts out.
Oh,
That is to say, her feelings of giving up on the child.
"But,
Not .
"I don't want to sacrifice my children to save them.
It was Suela's heart's cry to live with her child.
Even now, despite the fact that the magic continues to be sucked out of her, she squeezes my hand as if to tell me that this is how she feels.
I was so happy when I found out that Jiro-san and I were expecting a child.
"Oh.
I was really happy when Jiro-san was happy to know that I was having a baby.
"Oh.
I was really happy when I felt that Jiro-san cared about my child and me.
"Oh.
And then nodded and listened to Suela's words as if they were engraved on her heart.
The limit of time she can stay awake is drawing nearer and nearer.
My grip on her hand loosens for a moment, and then she squeezes my hand again, saying, "Not yet.
I'm glad that Kaylee was teasing me and congratulating me.
"Oh.
I was happy that Memoria was as happy as I was.
"Oh.
"I was happy that Himik would cook for these kids,
"Oh.
I was glad that Master Evvia was concerned about me being able to focus on raising my children.
"Oh.
Like sand in an hourglass, I can feel the time with her dwindling away.
The weakness of my hand, weaker than the strength of my initial grip, tells me this.
But Suela squeezes my hand with the last of her strength, as if to say she still has something to tell me.
"I'm glad that everyone wanted these children to be born.
"Oh.
It may be a commonplace word.
But for her, it was probably the best thing that could happen.
"So I want to live with these girls.
At last Suela looked me right in the eye and said, "Me and the baby.
"Me and my baby," she said.
I don't even have the strength left to squeeze it out.
Suela trailed off to say.
"Help me.
Gather your energy.
Jiro.
She left me and went to sleep.
She would not wake up, even if I squeezed her slack hand again.
It was a wish that might seem unreasonable and reckless.
But I'm ready.
The woman I love asked for help.
If you don't hold on here, you'll lose your man.
Oh, all right. All right.
I put my hand gently into the tub.
My face on the surface of the liquid is no longer filled with anxiety.
I'm on it.
It was the face of a man who had made up his mind.