Chapter 2: 2

Opening her eyes, the first thing Tuoba Yan saw was a white ceiling above her head. Her body felt weak all over, and her left wrist stung with extreme pain, “Hmmm…”

“Yanyan!” A familiar voice of a female exclaimed in a hushed tone, “Yanyan!”

Yanyan? Tuoba Yan thought in a daze; it had been ages since someone last called her by this nickname. She struggled to turn her head, and there she saw the woman who was crying loudly earlier, sitting right next to her.

When Qiao Chunyi saw her daughter wake up, she felt so happy that she didn’t know whether to cry or laugh. She hurried to call a nurse over. When the nurse came, she opened Tuoba Yan’s eyes wide and looked at her pupils. She wrote down something in the record clipboard and then kindly asked, “What’s your name?”

Tuoba Yan was muddleheaded by the series of unforeseen events. She subconsciously replied, “Tuoba… Yan.”

The nurse was obviously relieved as she glanced at the surprised Qiao Chunyi and asked again, “How old are you?”

Tuoba Yan remained silent.

The nurse asked her again, “Do you remember who she is?” She gestured to Qiao Chunyi.

Looking at Qiao Chunyi’s haggard face, Tuoba Yan murmured, “Mother…”

The nurse did not ask any further questions as she recorded some notes on the clipboard. She told Qiao Chunyi, “There seems to be no major issues with your daughter. Her memory is a bit muddled, so we will be keeping her under observation for now.”

Qiao Chunyi nodded gratefully to the nurse and asked her, “Then, what kind of food can she eat?”

Tuoba said, “I want to eat meat…”

Both the nurse and Qiao Chunyi became dumbfounded. Few seconds later, the nurse strongly coughed to hide her laughter, while Qiao Chunyi was so greatly impacted that she doubted whether she was dreaming or not:

Her daughter with anorexia volunteered to eat meat! 

“Okay, meat, what else does Yanyan want to eat?” Qiao Chunyi asked.

The nurse held back Qiao Chunyi before she could continue, “The patient is still too weak to eat meat and greasy meals. It is better to stick with liquid food.”

Qiao Chunyi looked at her daughter’s visibly disappointed face, ”Can she eat fish fillet congee? She used to like that congee the best.”

The nurse replied, “Of course, she can, but be careful not to let her eat too much. The patient’s digestive system has been degraded due to long-term anorexia, so it is not suitable for her to eat to her fullest.”

Qiao Chunyi asked the nurse to help pay attention to her daughter’s condition and packed up to go buy the congee.

Only Tuoba Yan was left in the ward with all the surrounding beds empty. Laying on the bed, she slowly started sorting out the incredible things that had happened to her.

First of all, she was indeed dead, the sharp pain of the long sword slitting her neck can never be an illusion.

So, was she now borrowing someone’s body and living their identity?

When the woman in white asked for her name, she subconsciously answered “Tuoba Yan”. The mother of this body didn’t react abnormally, so this original owner of the body she was occupying, “Yanyan”, must also be called “Tuoba Yan”. Although there may be some differences in specific words due to the subtle differences in pronunciation, the difference was not actually much.

Tuoba Yan was born in Northeast China, she had grown up outside the Shanhaiguan Pass when she was a child. Her usual diet consisted of roasted meat. Later, when she married the fatuous Emperor, the cook in the imperial kitchen knew that she was not used to eating seafoods, and almost never gave her fish and shrimp dishes. Later, when her post as the Empress was abolished, the food that those villainous people brought in every day was rancid green vegetables with white rice, with no meat.

So when “mother” asked her what she wanted to eat, Tuoba Yan subconsciously answered “I want to eat meat…”

Now that she thought about it, even if Tuoba Yan was ruthless and unsympathetic, she felt a bit ashamed of herself.

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Soon, Qiao Chunyi came in carrying a box of fish fillet congee and gently asked Tuoba Yan, “Yanyan, do you want mom to feed you?”

“No, no need,” said Tuoba Yan. She tried to move her body and support herself to eat. “Thank you, Mom. “

 Qiao Chunyi shook the bed panel up, cushioned the pillow behind Tuoba Yan’s back, and nagged, “Hurry up and tell mother if you’re feeling uncomfortable, don’t be too hard on yourself.”

The former General of the North tried her best to smile, but only a stiff smile appeared on her face, “En8”

[TL: En: onomatopoeia for okay/approval.] 

Qiao Chunyi thought that her daughter was still weak, and did not pay much attention to her changes. She put a bed-table on Tuoba Yan’s bed. A box of fresh congee with fish fillets was put on the board for Tuoba Yan to enjoy.

Tuobayan looked at the bowl of congee. The crispy white rice porridge was filled with fresh fish fillets seemingly dripped in sesame oil and sprinkled with chopped green onions and sesame seeds on top, making her almost unobtrusive.

Her left hand was hurt. At the moment, she couldn’t wait to reach out her right hand to take the disposable spoon and scoop up a spoonful of congee. Tuoba Yan hesitated for a moment before raising the spoon to Qiao Chunyi. “Mom, you eat it too,” she stammered. It felt strange for Tuoba Yan to call a woman of her own age ‘mother’.

Qiao Chunyi almost shed tears again. To think her daughter would become so considerate and sensible after the accident. She tried to hold back her tears so as to not worry her daughter. “Mom is not hungry, you just eat quickly.”

Tuoba Yan insistently kept her hand raised towards Qiao Chunyi, her face turning a bit pale, “Mom should eat too.”

Qiao Chunyi was so moved, she opened her mouth and ate the congee. The mother and daughter pair shared a bowl of congee, filling the ward with a light and joyful atmosphere for a while.

To outsiders, the little girl, Tuoba Yan, was recovering quickly. In order to understand the affairs of her family and this world, Tuoba Yan asked Qiao Chunyi to bring her former books, which were basically celebrity magazines, some related to beauty, dance and music. Tuoba Yan couldn’t understand simplified chinese characters at the beginning, but after Qiao Chunyi found her the simplified chinese dictionary of the original owner when she was at school, she quickly mastered reading simplified characters and recognized every single character.

Qiao Chunyi took care of everything, even giving consideration to the most trivial things that could hurt Tuoba Yan. After a week of recuperation, she gradually returned to having a normal diet and finally had some flesh on her body. She now no longer had the ‘horrifying skin and bones’ body.

Tuoba Yan couldn’t figure out whether it was an illusion or not, but lately, she started feeling dependence and trust in Qiao Chunyi from the bottom of her heart. Her previous life’s memories seemed to be covered with a mist everyday, and the feeling of despair that made her lose interest in life was gradually dissipating. 

The former, feeling dependence and trust, can only be attributed to this body’s mother-daughter bloodline connection.

As for the latter, this kind of change was beneficial and harmless to her new life. Since she took over the modern Tuoba Yan’s body and enjoyed Qiao Chunyi’s love and care, she should naturally repay the favor like a gushing spring. In the future, she would show filial piety to her mother, and won’t let her cry and be sad any longer.

After reading the large box of magazines sent by Qiao Chunyi, Tuoba Yan flipped out an exquisite pink book, which was carefully sandwiched in a gutted large section of the dictionary, and pressed together with the dictionary at the bottom of the box. The book seemed to have recorded Tuoba Yan’s diary for nearly a year.

It was from this diary that Tuoba Yan found out the cause of Tuoba Yan’s suicide that had troubled her for a long time.

Tuoba Yan was a girl from a single parent family. Her mother Qiao Chunyi and her father Tuoba Xiu divorced when she was young. The reason for their divorce was due to the intervention of a third party. Her mother didn’t remarry for the sake of Tuoba Yan, but soon after they divorced, her father couldn’t wait to marry the pregnant Gu min into their home. Four months later, she gave birth to a daughter and named her Tuoba Jiao.

Qiao Chunyi worked hard to raise her daughter, but Tuoba Yan, who was in her period of rebellion, became more and more difficult to discipline. She would fight against her father, and when she heard that her younger sister Tuoba Jiao, had participated in a talent show, Tuoba Yan, whose looks weren’t considered bad, decided to imitate her and enter the entertainment industry so that she could show how she looked.

However, Tuoba Jiao was able to run in the election, and there was no lack of sponsorships provided by the Tuoba family. Tuoba Yan, who had no background and effort, was brushed off in the first round.

Tuoba was very obsessed with the idea of surpassing Tuoba Jiao that even if Qiao Chunyi cried and scolded her, she left her studies and started to frantically look for opportunities to become a star every day. Finally, an opportunity came; a recruitment notice for a new girl group idols, so she took this chance and signed up.

It was already hard enough for Qiao Chunyi to fund her daughter’s high school education, so it was impossible for her to fund her child’s dance classes. Tuoba Yan’s rigid performance naturally failed to impress the recruiting teachers, and one of the women even said sarcastically, “Did you make a mistake while writing down your weight? Go back and lose 20 pound.”

There were low, gloating laughs from the girls in the room as they whispered.

The author has something to say: Well, half of the mystery behind Tuoba Yan’s suicide has been discovered. Let’s see how General Tuoba can fulfill her wish.

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