Chapter 22: Is There No Distance I Can Run? Is There No Place Where I Can Hide?

I woke from a foul dream, a reminder of why I despised the docks. But there I was, awaiting Tarion, the metal box in my cloak pocket which was fastened shut. In the other was a small bundle of flares for the blunderbuss holstered on my right thigh, a gift from my captain.

"We'll be riding on deck," Tarion said. "The flares will help us through the engineering passes. We have a six minute window, so fire when I say."

Questions rattled off in my head. Why were sneaking through areas the militia had access to? We were riding on deck? Were we spying on someone? Was this a legitimate op? It all pointed to us uncovering some sort of corruption, so I determined myself to keep quiet and follow orders.

I wrapped one set of fingers around the rail as the ship lurched free of its moorings, then let go so I could load my first flare. Tarion had pre-loaded it, and I almost missed h8s first signal. I shot the gun and the pass was lit for barely a second. The flare was so quick and dim I missed entirely any detail it may have shown, but Tarion whispered a command down the narrow stair in the forecastle and the ship turned. Another flair and we stopped, submerged enough to wet our feet, then we pressed ahead. I envied Tarion his shorter height. When we came out of the lowered section I fired another flare, instantly reloading as I did each time, and finally We came to a ledge where Tarion and I disembarked.

I followed him through the dark, though for me it was only dim, and through a labyrinth of boiler rooms, utility closets, gauge clusters and scrap heaps we came to a stone block that acted as an insulated joist between a nexus of old piping. There was a narrow gap in the block, hidden by angle and shadow, through which we passed. Five pairs of eyes blinked apprehensively. Anticipating the activation of a light source, I dimmed my eyes in time so as not to be blinded by a low powered crystal. I saw Tarion had donned a pair of goggles, the sort only the very well equipped even knew existed. With these he saw as I had, and this was the first I knew of such a device.

The five pairs of eyes belonged to strangers. Two women, three men, all human save for the old tarrasquin who pretended to die while guarding Eris.

"You've improved," I told him.

He nodded towards my boots and commented that I had too. I decided it best to continue my silent following of orders and stood still after that exchange, but soon found all eyes were patiently on me.

"Did you bring it?" Tarion asked me.

"No," I answered, projecting with my breath and shoulders the relief I would have felt if my word was true. The old tarrasquin laughed. Having seen his capacity for destruction, I wanted nothing but positive interactions with him. "I was told nothing beforehand. Had I been instructed to bring it, I would have. It's not my property. I don't even know what it is."

"Relax, boy," said the tarrasquin, "you're in no danger from us. I stuffed it into your pocket, after all."

I kept my head still while scanning the six people facing me. What I found perplexing was my place among them. Did they have their eye on me before I threw that errant stone? Or had I merely stumbled into this plot, whatever it be? With Tarion there, it could have been either case.

"Don't stress over this, Victor," Tarion's voice was calm. "There's lots of reasons people do things in secret. You're in no trouble. We wanted you to meet with us all, seein' as you got tangled up in our business."

"What of Matias?". I watched the tarrasquin closely.

"We brought him in on an unrelated matter." Tarion's voice tensed, ever so slightly.

"He'll be fine," said the tarrasquin.

The other four continued to watch me silently. I had a feeling I had learned all I would at this point, but I teased them with a bold question.

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"What's in the metal case?"

There was less surprise than approval. It was the older of the two women who answered. Her voice was sweet but stern, with a hint of mockery. It was the kind of voice that made sense with the person projecting it. She was venerable, but not overly aged, and handsome, but not dainty. Her grey hair was still full and tied in a long, bountiful braid.

"Blasphemies. Profane teachings. Idle curiosities that frighten the uninformed. Sadly, many of those have risen to prominence in recent years, and we're forced to go to these ridiculous extremes for a mere scholastic endeavour."

I was paralyzed by my questions. I doubted a mercenary like this old saurian would be brought in for a scholastic endeavour, and was confused by the indifference in this woman's voice while speaking of what she openly called profane teachings, and in the very next sentence idle curiosities. The statement she made of the Board made me queasy as well, and the apparent manipulation was nauseating. How falsely had I misjudged Matias? And could I trust his daughter, who I was so instantly besotted with? And again I thought of Tarion, and wondered if he'd wanted me in his squad because I had shown promise as a soldier, or as a patsy, and I was questioning my own prowess. I did the only thing I could do in that state, and asked a question that meant absolutely nothing to the security of my life.

"What are these teachings?"

They again seemed to approve. If they saw the turmoil within me, they might not have. I saw the question for what it was; a futile distraction. The woman said exactly what I had been thinking.

"What all teachings revolve around. The Sun, the Fates and the Fall."

"That doesn't sound very profane." The moment I spoke the words, I wanted to strike my own head with a truncheon. I wanted to leave this place, not remain and converse with these strangers that had me hopelessly at their mercy. I wanted so badly to take the case from my cloak pocket and hand it to the old tarrasquin, but something held back my hand, and I sat still and listened.

"To some, child, only the original two covenants are acceptable beliefs. To others, only the one they've chosen is acceptable. Times are more complex than they once were, and now the nature of the world is a matter of royal policy, and the Board is debating on which myth to act upon. The information inside that case you carry in your cloak is far outside the parameters of anything being discussed."

I quickly apologised for my deceit, and stated that I only wanted to do the right thing. The saurian man was quick to wave away my fear. He, of all people. Tarion, though, he seemed disappointed.

"You were thrust into this without your consent," the tarrasquin said, "if you want out now, hand it over. If you don't mind doing the six of us a small favor, hang onto it for a little while."

I looked to my hauptmann. He nodded.

"Only we know you have it. For now, Matias's crimes have local offices occupied."

I nodded, then swore myself to secrecy.

"You've lied to us once, son," said the tarrasquin, his serpentine eyes gleaming, "don't waste your breath with oaths. Do as you will. Consequences will be your judge. You've seen what I can and will do to inconveniences."

I recalled Caduceus's words.. I was bid to wait outside the stone block while they conversed for a moment, then was following Tarion back to the ship. My remaining flares were used on the return to the dock. Tarion told me we would talk soon, and promised there was more that he wished to reveal to me than the others would. I thanked him, repeated my oath to him as his subordinate, and went home to bed. I slept little, being shaken by standing on the small deck of the ship overlooking black water. There are memories of my past that disturb me, not because they are traumatic, but because I am not certain that they are real, or even my own.

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