Chapter 104: [Vol. 3 pt. 16]

Cani didn’t always keep up her spunky act around us since we already saw her without it before, but it was out in force since she had no food to prepare for us. Or maybe, she was less spunky and more just… excited. Very excited.

She couldn’t look nor act any happier about feeding us than she was.

Meanwhile, the wolves who were stationed as guards in her restaurant just stayed near the walls to either groom themselves or cuddle with one another.

“Man… I can’t wait,” Cani said. “I want to start you off with the newest, ultimate creation of mine, but I’ll start you off with the simpler dishes first so that we can work up to that.” Her tail excitedly wagged behind her as she brought the first dishes over to us.

And surely enough, I could immediately tell that strawberries were involved.

She really loved strawberry everything.

“First, drinks.” Cani set down a glass of pink liquid with ice and strawberries in front of both me and Akorya.

“Strawberry lemonade?” Akorya asked.

“Mhm, mhm, but you have to try it. It’s different this time.”

Well, I was never going to turn down a sweet beverage, so me and Akorya tried it out.

Our eyes went wide as we discovered just how delicious it was.

“What did you put in this?” I asked. “It’s… extremely smooth, but also… something vanilla?”

Cani leaned over the table, watching as both of us drank the lemonade with a smile on her face and a wagging tail behind her.

The fact that she didn’t give me an immediate answer to my question was kind of suspicious, though. But she did at least end up saying, “It’s something fitting for the dungeon.”

That only made one thing come to mind right away. “Cum?”

“Wow, first try. Then again, I guess with what kind of dungeon it is, that should be obvious.”

I hesitated for a moment when it was revealed what was in the drink, but that didn’t stop me from finishing it. There was nothing cum-like about it. It didn’t have the texture, taste, nor warmth of cum. It was just a strawberry lemonade with a hint of vanilla over ice that tasted exceptionally smooth and incredibly sweet without being overwhelming.

“Woah… seriously?” Akorya asked. “It totally doesn’t taste anything like that.”

Cani stood up straight and crossed her arms under her breasts, pushing them up a little as she stood over us with pride. “I’ve been experimenting with all sorts of monster cum lately since I thought it would be fitting.” A moment later, she transferred twenty different glass jars clearly full of spunk onto our table. “What you’re drinking right now is made from hopsteed cum.” She picked up what must have been a jar of that and swirled it around, showing just how watery and thin it was. “Bought all of these from the market board. I probably shouldn’t have been as surprised as I was that a game like this has tons of people collecting cum and selling it on there.”

Cum was used in all sorts of different crafting recipes, generally for perverse items, so I wasn’t surprised at all. All I was surprised by was that Cani actually went all in on cooking with cum.

As for the monster she used the cum of for the lemonade, the hopsteed, that was an amphibian monster domesticated to be used as a mount by some group of people living in swamps according to the lore. I didn’t remember too much about that area because I was speeding my way through it when leveling up. I always hated swamps. They were always home of undead, poison, killer plants, and occasionally home of cultists similar to the legendary Florida man in nature.

Back to the hopsteed, it was basically a frog in all honesty. A giant frog. The developers made it look just monstrous enough to be different enough that it couldn’t legally be called bestiality.

Personally, I wasn’t a fan of them and had no interest in bringing them into my dungeon.

But I was, apparently, a fan of strawberry lemonade made with their cum.

“It seriously doesn’t taste like there’s cum in it,” I said. “I’ve had some other dishes made with cum before and they… well, they tasted like they were made with cum. And they were disgusting.”

Akorya nodded as she finished her glass. “Swallowing cum is great, but that’s because you don’t have to taste it if it goes straight down the throat. And playing with it in your mouth can be fun, but like… when you mix it with food… then you’ve got like… crumbs and stuff which just makes the texture really nasty.”

“Exactly,” Cani said. “That’s why I’ve made it my mission to enhance food with monster cum, not to ruin food by just slapping cum on top. You know, it’s like the difference between cumming on a muffin or mixing cum into muffin batter. If you just cum on a muffin, all you have is a muffin with cum on it. If you mix cum into the batter, you’ve got a cum muffin. It becomes infused with the cum. The cum becomes a part of the muffin’s structure. It’s not something you can just scoop off. The cum is in every part of it. It’s a lot simpler with a drink since all you have to do is mix it in until it gets blended, basically, but the point stands. You don’t just cum in a glass of water and then serve it. You do, however, drop some cum into a glass of water, stir that up until it becomes blended together, and then serve it.”

“I think this is the most I’ve ever heard you talk before,” I said.

“I take my cooking seriously. Was actually going to a culinary school for a while… but yeah. So much for that.”

“Now I’m curious. If you’re comfortable answering, what happened to that?”

“Aha… well, you see… I kind of fell for my teacher… and I thought we had something and were going to go on a date… but then I made it the kitchen early the day of our date and saw him groping one of the other girls… and yeah. I quit. Just being in the same building as him made me sick. Almost slashed his tires on the way out, but I resisted.”

Akorya shook her head. “He’s not worth getting in trouble.”

“Right? I was so tempted, but I resisted. Oh! Wait! God, that’s not even the worst part. You know what’s really messed up?”

“Oh no… do I want to know?”

“Okay, so, I removed him from my social media since we added each other on there and stuff. Then my little sister uploaded a picture one day, and she’s stupid and hasn’t made her account private like I keep on telling her to, and you know who liked it? That asshole did. He was in his forties! She was seventeen! I mean, I wasn’t even that surprised by that part. After all, he liked me even though I was only nineteen at the time. It just pissed me off and creeped me out because he was creeping on my little sister’s account. There was no way he should have seen anything from her unless he bookmarked her page and was checking on it every now and then. God! Just talking about it is pissing me off! And my stupid little sister still won’t private her accounts! Ugh, she takes after me. I told her she was going to have creepy older guys checking her out and you know what she did? She smiled and said ‘good.’ God, it runs in the family. My dad is thirty years older than my mom. I tried going after the teacher and he was like twenty years older than me. Now my little sister wants older men to creep on her. Ugh, it makes me cringe now. I need to pop out some kids with some younger guy so that I can break the cycle.”

Me and Akorya both finished our drinks before Cani even began ranting, so we were left sitting there and listening while occasionally looking at each other. Neither of us ever expected her to open up and rant like that, but there she was.

“Sorry,” Cani said. “It feels good to rant about that asshole.”

“It’s fine,” I said. “I’m always here to talk to if you ever need to vent to somebody.”

“Thanks. So, uh, I’m going to get the next dish. Stay here.”

Cani left, giving me and Akorya another opportunity to just sort of look at each other in disbelief of what just happened.

Akorya decided to break the ice first by saying, “I didn’t know I’m supposed to get mad when I walk in on you and Lily groping each other.”

“Oh, you didn’t?” I asked in return. “I’ve been wondering why my tires haven’t been slashed yet.”

“Nyehehe. Don’t worry, I won’t slash your tires, but I will ride you until you’re begging me to stop.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“You think you can last against me?”

“Not at all. But it’s not about lasting, it’s about not begging you to stop after I’m already dry.”

“Doesn’t it get like, painful if a girl keeps going after you cum?”

“Yeah, but my momma didn’t raise no quitter.”

“Sounds like we’ll have to have a duel, nyehehe. See who surrenders first. Whether I give up on riding you, or if you give up and beg me to stop.”

“I can tell you now that if you win, it’s because I let you win.”

“Oh? So confident. We’ll see if that confidence lasts.”

“Let’s make it more interesting. Loser has to do whatever the winner wants for a whole day.”

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“But wouldn’t we already do that for each other?”

“Yeah, but it’s more exciting if it’s part of a bet.”

“Nyehehe, true. Alright, deal!”

We shook on it just in time for Cani to arrive with the next dish.

The latest dish immediately looked less appetizing as it was a cupcake with a suspiciously runny, thick, white icing on top.

“The cum is in the icing, isn’t it?” I asked.

“Yes,” Cani answered with no shame. “So, it’s less original, but I also wanted something that is like… your typical, obvious, food that looks like somebody came on it while making it taste good, too. And there’s way more than just cum in the icing. Also, the cum was whipped first. Nobody else whips cum before putting it on something.”

Akorya was the brave soul who reached forward with a single finger to scoop some cum icing onto it for a lick. Her eyes lit up as soon as she tried it. “It’s so good! And it tastes like… alcohol?”

Cani nodded, clearly proud of herself once again. “Whiskey caramel cupcakes with cum icing. This one,” she paused to place another jar of cum on the table, “is responsible for the icing.” The cum in the jar looked the thickest out of all of them. It was more like cream-colored honey in the jar than cum. “I found out that you can whip this into a really nice texture that blends super smoothly into anything else. There’s also a bit in the cupcake itself, but it’s mostly in the icing.”

It was my turn to try the cupcake. Surely enough, it tasted amazing. I shouldn’t have been surprised at all given who the cook was. The only thing more surprising than that was the fact that strawberries weren’t involved at all. “That’s two for two so far,” I said. “Great work. Though, I’m still not sure if I’d intentionally order anything if I know it’s made with cum.”

“It could always be the secret ingredient we don’t tell people about until afterward,” Cani proposed.

“That’s… well. A tough one. On one hand, cum is sexual, so we’d be giving somebody something sexual without their consent. On the other hand… people order things like animal dicks and testicles without realizing what they’re ordering and they eat those. Or any other part of the body. And it’s being used as an ingredient in something to eat. There’s no sexual intent there.”

“Exactly. I think it’s fine. Also, I could always put up a sign that says something like, ‘there may or may not be cum in the food.’ They’ll probably think it’s a joke, but it would technically count as warning them.”

“I’ll think about it. Also, I just noticed something.”

“Yeah?”

“Drinking age is 21.”

“In some parts of the world, anyways.”

“You have to be at least eighteen to play this game, but it simulates the effects of alcohol pretty realistically, so you can get drunk in this game. More specifically, you can legally get drunk in this game even when you’re not old enough to legally get drunk in real life.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s just something I thought of while eating the cupcake.”

“You can also legally kill people in this game even though you can’t legally do it in real life. Did you know that?”

“Al-alright. When you put it like that, I feel kind of stupid for my realization. Got any more dishes?”

“One more!”

Cani left me and Akorya alone again, and Akorya was ready to giggle and tease me for my realization. “That was adorable and way too innocent for you, Master,” she teased.

“I—I just never thought about it before, alright?”

“Nyehehe, so cute.” She played with my feet using her own underneath the table. “That made me want to pamper you and treat you like a little kid. Maybe I should ruffle your hair up.”

“I’d be down for that.”

“Of course you would be. I could be your big sister!”

“What’s with everybody wanting to be my big sister?”

“You’ve totally got little brother energy.”

“I… I do? I’ve never heard that before.”

“Yeah. Like, you’re the kind of little brother who wants to protect his big sister and make her happy, and you’re super cute during it. But you’re also a mischievous little pervert who steals her underwear and jacks off into it when you think she’s not looking, but she totally is and watches while you do it through a hole in the wall.”

“That sounds like a hentai plot. Also, I would be absolutely down for roleplaying that.”

“Hmm… maybe I’ll make you act like my perverted, but caring and protective, little brother if I win our duel.”

“I surrender.”

Akorya playfully kicked my leg. “It’s too early to surrender! At least put up a fight first!”

“I’ve lost the will to fight. You win. Please stop riding me.”

“I’m not even riding you yet! Nyehehe.”

Cani presented the final dish before we could screw around any further, and it ended up being the most extravagant one yet.

It also featured strawberries in true Cani style.

It was a cake. A cake covered in white frosting with strawberries all around it and surely within it, too.

“Here we are!” Cani announced. “A vanilla and strawberry cake with cum frosting. I know, it might look and sound simple, but trust me. You have to taste it to understand.”

“Well, everything else was good, so I’ll take your word for it,” I said before picking up the fork she brought for me and taking a bite out of the cake. I made sure to get a slice that had a strawberry on it.

And when I tasted it… she was right. I needed to taste it to understand.

My taste buds went on a spiritual journey of strawberry and vanilla deliciousness.

I saw God and he was a strawberry wearing robes made of cum.

Everything was perfectly balanced. The sweetness, the texture, the vanilla and strawberry flavors—it was impossible to be in anything but a near-orgasmic state after tasting the cake.

I only snapped out of my cake-induced trance when Cani spoke up to say, while putting a new jar of cum on the table, “Mushroom cum. It doesn’t actually do anything for the flavor, but it provides a raw increase in how good somebody thinks something tastes by applying a buff to them that… basically makes them trip for ten seconds every bite. You could mix this cum with anything and it would have that effect.”

I looked at Akorya who was looking straight in my direction, but she wasn’t looking at me. She was looking through me to some spiritual plane that I could never begin to imagine myself. Or rather, she was until the buff wore off and then she smiled and went for another bite. And just like that, she reentered the trance.

“God… God was a strawberry,” I said.

Cani nodded, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I know. I know.”

I went back for another bite.

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