Chapter 149: [Vol. 4 pt. 38]

I ended up having no small amount of sex with Lily, Akorya, and Meadow. Sophie ended up leaving once we got around to the proper fucking part since she only cared about sucking dick and drinking cum, so the three who remained were the ones who got to enjoy everything my new powers could offer them.

It was pretty great. No matter how much I went with them, I never ran out of stamina, never decreased in volume when it came to cumshots, and didn’t struggle to stay hard for even a second. I had the perfect body for what was basically endless sex, and there were all sorts of fun things I was able to do with my cocks by turning them into different shapes and sizes.

But once that was all done and over with, I couldn’t help but to remember what Meadow told me about how I still probably wouldn’t be able to beat Thera.

Skill was the main thing stopping me from being able to beat her. If I wanted to challenge her to a fight and win, I needed to get better at fighting—at PvP specifically.

Fortunately, I knew somebody else who could help me with that behind Thera’s back so that she wouldn’t expect it.

And that somebody was the legless woman sitting on my couch downstairs.

“Mom,” I called out, “I need your help with something.”

“Heh. So, you’ve finally realized that you need your mom’s help to seduce the ladies,” my mom replied, overly smug about it as she paused her movie.

“You know, I’ve seduced plenty of women without your help.”

“Then you need my help to seduce men.”

“I’ve seduced them without you, too.”

“Non-binary folk.”

“And them.”

“Genderless blobs.”

“I’ve fucked slime monsters.”

“Tch. Outdone by my own spawn, how shameful.”

“Don’t call me your spawn. It makes us sound like lizard people.”

“I’m down for scalies.”

“What aren’t you down for?”

“Children. That’s probably it, honestly.”

“Understandable.” We really were basically the same person. Though, she was twice my age and a woman. “Anyways, I need help… fighting.”

My mom perked up even more when she heard that. “About time! Who we fighting? The government? The police? The pope?”

“The pope isn’t even a thing anymore.”

“Damn. Why’d they have to stop having a pope before I got to punch one.”

“Probably because an increasing amount of people wanted to punch them.”

“Fair. Anyways, what’s up?”

“It’s to impress a girl.”

“Don’t you have enough of those already?”

“It’s Thera. I’ve told you about her before, I think, right?”

Mom tilted her head. “Don’t think so?”

“Spider girl who plays hard to get but I’ve basically been in a pseudo—”

“Oh! Her. The one who’s basically your first girlfriend but not your official girlfriend.”

“Right.”

Mom sighed and said, “I don’t get it. I still think you should’ve just told her to get over herself and left her behind. Playing games isn’t what adults do.”

“In her defense, if I told her that I honestly didn’t want to play along and just wanted us to be serious, logical adults about it, then she’d probably respect that and drop the whole fight thing. But I’ve been playing along with it, so I can’t blame her for continuing it.”

“Well, I won’t judge too much since I don’t have all the context. But if she ever tries playing any stupid games about the relationship, you better put her in her place. I won’t have you messing things up with your girlfriends over her.”

As much as I knew that my mom was overreacting to it, I couldn’t blame her. She didn’t know Thera like I did. She was simply acting out of a good place for me and my relationship. Besides, it was theoretically possible that I wasn’t seeing the truth and that I had too much faith in Thera.

But given that nobody who actually spent time with her had anything but respect for her as well, I was pretty damn confident that it was safe to assume Thera was a good person and just having some fun while playing a bit hard to get.

In a way… it was kind of like we knew we were going to hook up soon after getting to know each other. The romantic and sexual attraction was there from both of us pretty early on. We wanted each other from the beginning. And because we were so sure it was going to eventually happen one way or another, we didn’t mind playing around and taking our time.

That was how I saw it, anyways. I wasn’t sure if I always saw it that way, but that was how I ended up seeing it.

“Honestly, you’d love her, so trust me when I say to have some faith in her,” I said. “You’d probably like her the most out of all my girlfriends. She’d even team up with you to torment me.”

“Ooh. When you put it that way, it makes me want to train you right away,” Mom said. “Alright! Go get me my headset. We’ll use the game I bought you before that you never played with me even though I’m your mother who loves you.”

I… completely forgot that I never played it with her even though she bought it for me. “S-sorry about that.”

“Meh, it’s fine. I bought it knowing you’d probably be too busy or forget. Besides, it’s paying off now!”

She was right about that at least. Better late than never.

 

After actually installing the game, the two of us, sitting next to each other on the couch, immersed our minds into the virtual world. Our accounts were already added to each other’s external friend list, so we were able to join a lobby together and simultaneously launch the game from there. That way, we’d be put into the game together instead of having to enter it separately and have to find each other there.

Though, because it was my first time playing the game, I had to make a character. And because I was lazy and didn’t care about any sort of avatar for long-term use, I just used the default player model for men. After clicking through a few more menus and choosing to skip the tutorial, I found myself standing in what looked like an abandoned gym in a post-apocalyptic setting… with my mom standing in front of me.

It was immediately obvious just how much time and effort she poured into the game from how she looked.

Her arms and legs looked like they were made out of advanced cybernetics, she had on a pair of short jean shorts that hugged her waist way more tightly than I would have preferred, and she had on a small crop top that barely held back certain assets that were, for a lack of better words, significantly enlarged in comparison to real life. There was definitely no lack of belts and straps, too. She really liked her straps. They were around her thighs, arms, waist, chest—belts and straps everywhere, and half of them had combat knives attached to them.

She really went for the badass, knife-loving cyborg look. And while she might have had a pretty simple outfit, it was simple in the way that only endgame players in games could pull off. Everything looked high quality and more detailed than what lower level, similar clothing would have.

“Heh, I forgot just how lame noobs look in this game,” Mom said, looking me over. “Also, I’m pretty hot, right?” She brought her hands up to her chest and gave those oversized things a bounce from below. “Let me tell you, these babies probably win me most of my fights. The boys get too distracted checking them out while I’m running a knife through their gut.”

“I feel like I’m already ready to log out,” I said and sighed.

“C’mon, don’t be like that! We’re finally playing something together.”

“I’m not, don’t worry. Besides, with all those knives, you’d probably be even better for this than I was hoping.”

“Yeah?”

“Thera fights with dual daggers.”

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“Oh, perfect. I can do that. I usually prefer comboing with a knife and handgun, but two daggers is fun, too.” She pulled two of her daggers out from their holders, one of which had electricity crackling off of it while the other was surrounded by flames. “Badass skins I unlocked, right?”

“You’re so edgy that it hurts being your son.”

“Don’t worry, it’ll hurt even more when I stab you.”

I took a step back when I heard that, causing her to smile even more. “So… is there anything like a sword and shield in this? That’s what I’m probably going to be using against her.”

My mom couldn’t hold back her laughter. “A sword and shield? In this? No, no. Sorry, but no. We don’t fight like nerds here. No wannabe lightsabers either. You get guns and combat knives. That’s it. But you don’t need your usual weps anyways. The important thing is that you learn how to dodge when somebody is charging at you with some blades. Besides, you have a knife. If you can put up a fight with a knife, you can put up a fight with a sword.”

“I’m not sure it works that way.”

“Sure it does.”

“Saying it does doesn’t mean it does.”

“Sure it does.”

I narrowed my eyes at her while she smiled wider and wider at me.

“Now, once we TP to the training ring, you better not take it easy on me. I don’t care if I’m your hot, awesome, perfect mom. You better fight me like you want to kill me,” Mom said.

“I’ll try,” I replied.

“You better, because I won’t take it easy on you. That’s not how I roll. When I helped some other noobs out, I trained them by killing them over, and over, and over again. I don’t do any of that slow-paced instruction bullshit. You train with me by trying your hardest to survive while I go full tryhard mode in trying to kill you. Understand?”

“This sounds more like an excuse to bully people weaker than you.”

“It’s only an excuse if I deny that’s part of the fun.”

“You’re the kind of person who would train somebody to get better at dodgeball by throwing heavy wrenches at them with all your strength.”

“If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!”

That always was one of her favorite movies, so I shouldn’t have been surprised by her training methods.

A moment later and a message popped up asking me to accept the group teleport over to the training ring. I was honestly kind of nervous, but I accepted it. I wanted to get stronger no matter how many times it meant my mom would get to kill me.

And as it would turn out… she’d be killing me a lot.

 

“No—no more,” I groaned out right after respawning on my side of the training ring. “Seriously, I’m good for now.”

“Oh, come on,” Mom said. “That was only your sixty-eighth death! One more and we get to the funny number! Please? Please let me kill you one more time?”

I looked her in the eyes and wanted to refuse her, but she had a point. How could we stop on the number right before sixty-nine? “Fine.”

“Yay! Alright, you ready?”

“No. I haven’t been ready ever since the second death, not that that’s stopped you.”

“You think that girl you’re trying to impress will care about whether or not you’re ready?”

“Yes, actually, she would.”

“Weak. Anyways, that makes this even better. If you can survive when you’re not ready, then you can survive when you are ready.”

“I can’t survive anyways!”

“Hey, you’re getting better. You lasted thirty seconds last time.”

“You were toying with me! The only reason I lasted that long is because you’re a sadist who laughed while I tried crawling away!”

“That was only for the last ten seconds. You still survived a couple extra seconds more than usual before that… but maybe that’s because you finally managed to stop staring at my tits.”

“I wasn’t staring at them.”

“You were. Don’t worry, I’m not judging. I made my avatar hot on purpose. I’d fuck me. I’d be disappointed if you didn’t want to fuck me—well, my avatar.”

“Please never say any of that to me again.”

“Yeah, that was kind of weird. Alright. Here, catch.” With that, she threw one of her knives straight at my neck. I was too tired and dodge and just wanted it to be over with, so I let her knife slice open the side of my neck, causing me to bleed and rapidly lose health, and I died soon after. Again.

And within seconds, I was back where I was before at full health.

Thankfully, the game barely simulated pain.

“There we go,” Mom said. “That brings us up to the funny number. And honestly, you’ve done good, kid. You’ve improved your ability to dodge pretty significantly. It might not feel like it, but I’m just that good, so I’d kick your ass and almost instantly kill you no matter how good you get.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should. If you can dodge that well, then you can throw in some blocking with a shield or whatever, probably use some magic or whatever nerdy stuff your fantasy game has, and kick her ass. Or you could always let me control your avatar and I’ll show you how to kick a lady’s ass and seduce her at the same time.”

“Mom.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“Love you too, punk.”

“But can we stop now?”

Mom immediately pouted. “But I wanna play with you more. Oh! Wait! We can play together and you can get more practice! And without me killing you! We can go do some duos in the battle royale mode. We’ll sneak up on people and slice their throats open while they’re hardscoping. Come on, it’ll be fun! I’ll even hold them down for you and you can have the privilege of slicing their throats open and collecting their tags!”

“You’re a psychopath.”

“But I’m your psychopath!”

Mom always wanted to play more games with me, and I never really played any with her, so… it was only fair for me to play with her. I wanted to be a good son, too. Plus how could I say when she was so excited about it? Not to mention that she also helped me out with training even though I felt like I didn’t really improve at all.

“Alright,” I said. “Let’s go kill some scrubs. Just don’t be surprised if you have to carry me.”

Mom flashed me a thumbs-up and said, “Don’t worry, if I can carry you in my womb for nine months, I can carry you in a video game.”

She was just something else sometimes.

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