Chapter 33: [Vol. 1 pt. 33]

“I just imagined something,” I told Lily and Thera while Akorya took the engorged Syl from Al Capra’s hands.

Lily tilted her head and looked up at me. “Mon maître?”

“Imagine Al Capra getting such huge nuts that he has to sling them over his shoulders and walk around carrying them like that.”

“Darling… why?” Thera asked.

“I just thought it’d be hot. Like, if I’m controlling Al Capra’s body, and one of you are underneath me, and I just put my massive balls down on top of you. I’d have to either carry them around on my back, or I’d have to get a wheelbarrow to cart them around. Either way, it would be hot.”

“I would tell you that there is nobody who would ever find being on the receiving end of that enjoyable, but it would appear that our blushing friend here is eager to disprove me.”

Thera was right. While the concept might have sounded truly absurd, Lily’s reddened cheeks and parted lips proved that at least one woman alive was interested in being smothered by a massive scrotum. Though, that wasn’t what interested me the most. What really interested me was what Thera called Lily. “Friends now, huh?” I asked.

“Does it surprise you that I would consider her a friend? With how often we are around each other now, and likely will continue to be, it only makes sense to refer to her as one.”

Lily looked even more embarrassed by that than the idea of giant-ball-smothering. “Sh-should I – umm… should I… add you to my friends?” Lily asked, looking up at Thera.

Thera didn’t respond. Instead, she sent a friend request to Lily before Lily could send her one. While I wasn’t able to see the actual messages popping up in front of them, it was obvious going by how Lily suddenly reacted to something seemingly invisible in front of her. The smile that she wore afterward made it even more obvious.

“You can be pretty wholesome for a giant killer spider sometimes, Thera,” I teased.

“If you wish to see wholesome, I could always stab holes into your body with my legs,” Thera replied, sounding both threatening and teasing.

“That’s pretty kinky. Unfortunately for you, though, I’m not into guro.”

“Which one is that again?”

“It’s basically gore. You know, I once knew a girl that—”

“Stop. I know what story you are about to say and you bring it up every time that the topic of gore comes up.”

“But Lily doesn’t know about it. Aren’t you curious, Lily?”

Lily looked at me, then Thera, then back at me. “I – I may be curious…”

“Am I allowed to tell her?” I asked Thera.

Thera sighed before shrugging. “She will regret her curiosity.”

“That counts as permission. Anyways, Lily, I once knew a girl who wanted her eyes scooped out of her skull so that she could have her eye sockets fucked. True story. She always talked about how hot the squishing noise of a dick hitting her brain would be. Now, disclaimer. I’m not into that. I’m really, really not into that at all… but I really did know somebody who was obsessed with that idea. I will never understand and I’ll never be into it, but people do exist out there who are turned on by that sort of thing.”

“Oh! I know, mon maître,” Lily said. “I – I had friends like that.”

“You did?”

Lily nodded. “It was common in a server I once talked in. They… were very – umm, extreme, but they did not judge me for what I liked, so… I tolerated it?”

“You might have an even bigger tolerance for that sort of thing than I do. Maybe you’re actually a bigger pervert than me, Lily. I guess you’ll need to take over my channel.”

“M-mon maître! I could never! With-without you, it would be – it would be—!”

Lily looked genuinely panicked as she waved her arms around. Seeing her like that was absolutely, truly, undeniably adorable. And with how much she was moving around in her panic, I got to watch her breasts jiggle. The game not only made sure that breasts were perkier than they would be given how massive they can be, but it made sure that they all had a little bit of extra jiggle physics involved.

Well, that applied to everything.

Tits had enhanced jiggle physics. Asses had enhanced jiggle physics. Thighs had enhanced jiggle physics. Bellies and flabby arms had enhanced jiggle physics. Men’s chests, when big enough, had enhanced jiggle physics. And, of course, cocks had enhanced jiggle physics which made helicoptering with penises far more entertaining than in the real world.

The point, everything potentially jiggly had enhanced jiggly physics. It was a game that truly excelled in gender equality. Busty bimbos were given everything that they could ask for. Beefy bara bears were given everything that they could ask for as well.

Everybody was happy with the jiggle physics.

We all jiggled together.

“Mon – mon maître, your stare is so… intense,” Lily said, calming down once she noticed my eyes glued to her chest.

“To think that you still fall victim to the sight of a woman’s chest, darling. I would have thought that a man of your experience would be immune to such temptations at this point,” Thera said.

I shook my head. “Nonsense. It is only natural for anybody who is attracted to a woman’s chest to never tire of it. It is a sight as timeless as existence itself – a sight that one could never even consider growing bored of. For as long as breasts may exist, they will be looked at. Unless, of course, it would not be appropriate and the person with said breasts does not appreciate being looked at. But for as long as at least one person alive has breasts and wants them to be looked at, they shall be looked at!”

Lily giggled and Thera sighed, but somebody else clapped their hands.

“Nice one, boss!” Akorya cheered as she clapped her hands.

That was when I noticed something truly absurd. Something that also reminded me that Akorya… as nice as she was, was not the brightest person around.

Akorya was clapping her hands.

While there was a cum-inflated fairy held in one of them.

All I could do was stare with wide eyes as Akorya treated Syl’s body like a tube of mayonnaise. Each clap squished the fairy between her hands, pushing more cum out from her womb onto the ground below.

A feminine chuckle came from behind me. At first I thought it was Lily, but she simply looked shocked and like she had no idea how she was supposed to respond to the sight in front of her.

And then I looked up at Thera.

If there was an expression that screamed, “I just chuckled but I refuse to allow anybody to know, so I am going to make the most obvious attempt at a poker face that anybody has ever seen before,” then it would be the expression on Thera’s face.

I smirked at her since I knew that it was her. She knew that I knew it was her, too, but she refused to change her expression at all.

“A-ah… sorry, I forgot I was holding you,” Akorya said, prompting me to turn around to look at the aftermath of the fairy-tube-squeezing.

I had never seen a fairy look so dead inside before.

“That’s… one way to remove the inflation debuff,” Syl said, her monotone voice matching the lifelessness of her eyes. “Hey… Aya.”

“Ye-yeah?” Akorya answered, unable to look down at Syl.

“I hate you sometimes.”

“Nye-nyehehe… s-sorry.”

Now, I was no stranger to friendly shit talking. I had friends who I would say that I hated before. I also had plenty of partners who wanted me to act like I genuinely hated them while fucking them as roughly as I could. I knew how to recognize fake hate and real hate.

And that was why I was so bothered by what Syl said to Akorya.

It didn’t sound like banter between friends, it sounded like Syl genuinely meant it when she said that she hated Akorya at times. Going by Akorya’s own awkward expression, she knew it as well as I did.

“That’s not nice,” I said with a lighthearted voice. I didn’t want to come off as calling her out since that would make the situation even more awkward than it already was, but I still wanted her to understand that it seriously, genuinely was not nice. However… I wasn’t able to stop there. “Aren’t you happy that you got to roleplay as a tube of mayo?”

Of course, there was always the chance that Syl would find humor in what I said and laugh it off.

Except she didn’t.

That dead expression turned into one of silent rage as she glared straight into my eyes from Akorya’s hand. Just as I had never seen a fairy look so dead inside before, I had never seen a fairy look so royally pissed off before.

And that rage was about to grow.

That chuckling from behind returned and, this time, it didn’t stop. “I sometimes forget how amusing you can be, darling,” Thera said before chuckling some more.

She had no interest in letting me see her laugh for my own desires, but she had every interest in laughing to further piss off the fairy who was glaring at me.

I was going to have to spoil Thera some more for always having my back.

“I came here because I was told I would like you and because I heard you had interesting ideas for events. I did not come here to be made fun of,” Syl told us.

“Hey-o, Mayo, calm down. We’re only teasing you. The factory overfilled your tube, so some of it needed squeezed out. You should be thankful Akorya helped you out with that,” I said, unable to take the smile off of my face.

Syl flew out of Akorya’s hand and got right up in front of my face. “You’re about to lose your only opportunity to talk to a developer face-to-face. Do you really want to screw this up to mock me?”

“If you’re such a prude that you can’t handle being teased after telling Akorya that you hate her, absolutely. Don’t dish what you can’t take and all that. Well, unless you’re a sadist who has no interest in being a masochist. You don’t need to explore fetishes that you’re uncomfortable with.”

Syl gripped her fists are her sides as her face began to turn red.

She was absolutely furious that I wasn’t taking her seriously in the slightest.

Did I have interest in discussing ideas with a game developer? Sure.

Was I going to tolerate her being a rude ass to Akorya? Absolutely not.

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No number of perks that could come from being friends with Syl would cause me to tolerate her behavior. If she had laughed at it herself and apologized to Akorya, then everything would be fine.

But instead of doing that, she decided to threaten me and get even more pissed off.

“You’re really going to do this?” Syl asked. “All because, what – because I told my friend that I hate her? As a joke? Was that it?”

“It wasn’t a joke. If it was, Akorya clearly didn’t like it and you would know as a friend not to make jokes that make her uncomfortable,” I answered.

“Aya!” Syl shouted, spinning around in the air to face Akorya. “You know that I’m just joking whenever I say that I hate you, don’t you?”

“He-hey,” Akorya said, her pawed hands up in the air. “It’s – it’s not a big deal.”

“See? She knew it was a joke,” Syl said to me.

“I didn’t hear her say that,” I said. “More importantly, Akorya, if you want us to drop the topic, I will. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s… it’s fine,” Akorya said. She then grabbed onto her left arm and rubbed it, looking away from us. “Like I said, it’s not a big deal…”

The conflicted tone of Akorya’s vague answer told me everything that I needed to know.

“Don’t get full of yourself,” Syl told me. “You barely know Aya. I’ve been her friend for months. Or maybe you’re trying to be some white knight? Do you think that she’s some poor girl who can’t stand up for herself, so she needs some big, strong hero to save her? Do you think that she’s going to do whatever you want after you ‘save’ her?”

“Da—Damian isn’t – isn’t like that!” Lily interjected, standing at my side. “He—”

“Thanks, Lily. I’ve got this. Also, you just earned yourself another massage,” I told Lily before placing a kiss on the top of her head. She still looked upset, but she nodded and got back.

I didn’t want her to get involved in something that I started.

But she did get even more “Lily is perfect” points by doing that.

“Anyways, Miss Mayo, I don’t think we’re going to work out,” I said to the sentient tube of mayonnaise. “It’s true that I might be a massive degenerate, but I’m not an asshole. I know how to laugh at myself and I’m not going to tell people who I care about that I hate them because of an accident.”

“You really want to make an enemy out of me, don’t you? Are you forgetting who I am?” Mayo asked me.

“Of course not. We might not become friends, but I’m still going to respect you enough to remember your name, Mayo.”

“You realize that I have friends who could come and take this dungeon from you, right? And they could make it better than anything you could ever do with it. You’re so obsessed with consent that you’re missing out on half the fun this game has to offer. You don’t deserve this dungeon.”

“You realize that I’m recording all of my gameplay footage, don’t you? And you realize that I have a channel that has more subscribers than this game has players, right?”

“You – you’ve been recording this?!”

“No shit. Did you really think that I wasn’t going to record a private meeting with a developer? I figured that it’d be… useful to have proof of our meeting. And let me tell you, now that I have footage of your mayonnaise tube roleplay, it was absolutely worth it. So, do you want millions of people to see your roleplaying and threatening of a player as an official developer, or do you want to shut up and fly away?”

“You planned all of this from the beginning, didn’t you?”

“I’ve learned from the best. Haven’t you heard that I used to be a member of the Divine Brigade?”

Mayo froze up. Every player or game developer worth anything knew the legends of the most infamous griefing and trolling guild to ever exist in MMOs, the Divine Brigade. The guild might have been disbanded, but that didn’t stop people from dropping their name and claiming to be previous members.

And if somebody claimed to be a previous member of it, there was a fifty-fifty chance of them being a poser or somebody who was seriously worth worrying about.

“We’re leaving,” Mayo said.

“Don’t forget to have a spermnado event sometime. Giant flying sperms inside of a tornado. I’ll be looking forward to it,” I said, getting my suggestion out there even if it was almost guaranteed to never be implemented now.

Mayo got one last glare in at me before flying toward the entrance. “Come on, Aya. We need to have a talk.”

“I – I’m staying,” Akorya said.

Mayo turned around with a confused expression on her face. She did not look angry that Akorya rejected her. In fact… she looked sad as soon as she realized that Akorya seriously intended on staying. “Fine. Don’t try re-adding me this time.”

And with that, Mayo flew out of my dungeon with her voice reflecting her defeat.

“Mon… mon maître, you were – recording?” Lily asked me.

I let out a deep sigh and answered, “Nope. I would never record people without them knowing about it. Only consensual recording is allowed.”

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"I must admit that you made good use of the Divine Brigade's name, darling. You would have fit right in," Thera said.

“Thanks. Maybe if you guys played any games that I had any interest in, I might have actually ended up joining.”

Thera might have been a member of the disbanded Divine Brigade, but I definitely wasn’t ever a member of it. I was just some poser who knew how to lie with a very convincing and serious voice. I used the same voice when claiming to be a member of the Divine Brigade that I used when being dominant.

It was a voice that I had perfected.

“Anyways, that was some friend you have, Akorya,” I said.

“Ye-yeah… well, maybe not friend anymore,” Akorya replied. “But… maybe she’ll come back. This wouldn’t be the first time that she kicked me off her friends list, nyehehe…”

“This kind of thing has happened before?”

Akorya nodded, still not able to look in our direction. “A few times. Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought her here. I thought that you two would get along, but… I ruined everything.”

“No, what you did was hilarious and far better than any relationship I could have with Mayo.”

“She just… always treats me like that.”

I was right. Akorya actually was bothered and wanted to talk about it.

“But… she was the only one who’d put up with how stupid I am. That – that was why she said she hated me instead of removing me from her friends right away that time. Everybody else gets tired of me, but she always came back, so…”

I was about to say something when somebody else beat me to it.

“Trust me,” Thera said, “my darling is not the sort of man to ever grow tired of somebody, nor is he the kind of man to ever judge another for their intelligence or lack of it. There is also the fact that he would never intentionally hurt you unless you ask to be hurt.”

“If – if you want friends,” Lily spoke up next, “then… I can be your friend! Mon maître and Th-Thera have become my friends, so… so I can be your friend!”

“Well, you heard them,” I told Akorya. “Thera might not be offering to be your friend, but I’m sure she’d treat you just like one. Isn’t that right, Thera?”

“She will have to wait until tomorrow,” Thera answered. “I have a rule of only allowing one new friend on my list per day.”

“Ah. Well, Thera might not be your friend today, but she’ll be your friend tomorrow, Akorya. You’ll have to make do with me and Lily for now.”

“Why… are you being so nice for me? Why’d you stand up for me?” Akorya asked. “Syl was right when she said you barely know me.”

“Fuck Mayo and fuck being not nice. I’m only mean to people who want me to be mean to them. And stuck-up fairy assholes.”

Akorya lifted her head and gave us a smile before quickly turning around. “I’m going to log out for now, but umm, I’ll be back later. Alright? I promise.”

“Take as much time as you need. I’ll be here to give you some head pats whenever you log back in.”

“Nyehehe, I’ll hold you to that, boss.”

Akorya logged out after that.

“Well, that went… well,” I said.

“Darling, I am beginning to understand why you work solo now if that is how you conduct business meetings,” Thera teased.

“Yeah, yeah. Come on, I’ve got to spoil you both. That means massages for you, Thera, and massages and dick for you, Lily. The dick can also be used on you, Thera.”

“Another wonderful attempt, but no.”

“If – if she does not want any… then does that – mean, I get double?” Lily asked, looking up at me with a nervous smile.

I couldn’t help but to sigh. “Both of you are way too perfect. Also, in case it isn’t obvious, I just pissed off one of the game’s developers. We uh… might want to maybe think about how to make this play more defendable. And by that, I mean we need more monsters to fight for us.”

“And by that, you mean more monsters for you to turn into for personal enjoyment,” Thera added on.

“You know me so well.”

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