Chapter 45: [Vol. 1 pt. 45]

One destruction of the universe later, Lily and I were hanging out inside of my dungeon. To be more specific, we were chilling – well, not quite chilling, in the hot springs. We were steaming if anything.

I thought that we were going to come in and have some lewd fun after she showed up in front of me with a maid outfit and the talk of a size changing potion, but we ended up talking just like friends instead. Though, for once, it was Lily doing most of the talking. She really had a lot to lay onto me after being gone for a week. Not that I minded, of course. While sex may have been what I was most used to, I found that even talking to Lily as a friend was fun. A lot of fun. As fun as sex, even. Just spending time together in the hot springs, talking, not doing anything lewd to each other – it was nice. That definitely wasn’t how I ever expected to feel. Even with my past relationships, doing anything with my exes was never as fun as fucking them. Even fucking them was never as fun as simply talking to Lily.

Though, for the past bit, the conversation was less about fun things and more about Lily ranting about her grandma.

“She is very tiring,” Lily said. “My grand-maman is very… stuck in the past, but she is funny sometimes.”

“I wouldn’t last more than a couple of minutes around her from what you’ve been telling me about her,” I said. “Even if they’re elderly… I just can’t with those kind of people. Now, if somebody has dementia or something and they literally can’t change anymore, then that’s different, but if somebody still has a healthy mind, I don’t care if they’re twenty or ninety. I won’t excuse hateful beliefs.”

“I – I would not say she is hateful, just… ignorant? Is that the word?”

“Yeah, ignorant. And you said before that you’ve tried educating her, right? Then she has no right to be ignorant.”

 “Well… maybe.”

“Sure, she might not be throwing stones at people or anything or trying to form mobs for some witch hunting, but—”

“Oh! Wi—a-ah… sorry, mon maître. I did not mean to interrupt.”

“It’s no problem. Besides, it seems like you were about to change the topic to something more fun. What were you about to say?”

“Well… what you said about witch hunting – I was going to say that I love, umm, witchy stuff? Like wearing flower crowns, hanging plants everywhere, and goats! I want a pet goat!”

“Your idea of witchcraft is wearing flowers in your hair, plants, and goats?”

Lily nodded her head, making sure to smile even wider at the mention of goats. “I – I would be kicked out if I had anything like that in the house, but someday! I hope…”

“Here’s the solution: come live with me and get a pet goat. I’m pretty sure my mom wants a goat, too, but I’m worried about it headbutting her legs and knocking them out from under her. Literally.”

“You mentioned before in a video that she has prosthetics, I think?”

“Yeah. Just imagine a pet goat running up from behind, headbutting her in the back of her knees, and knocking the legs away from her. It would be hilarious. Terrible, but hilarious.”

“That would be—” Lily froze mid-sentence as her face turned a bright red. “Di-di-did you – did you… suggest that – that we… li-live together?”

“That’s a delayed reaction, but yes. I did imply that. I mean… you know, as a flirt. I wouldn’t invite you to come and live with me right now or anything like that.”

“Ri-right! Of course, of course…. It – it is too soon for that… probably….”

Witnessing her reaction to the offer was, of course, a sure way of motivating me to tease her about her. “Is it? I mean, I could easily get you a plane ticket right now. You could be at my place before the day is over.”

“Mon – mon maître! What – what would my grand-maman think?”

“Who cares what she’d think? You said it yourself earlier that you’ve wanted to move out for years. And my bed is big enough for two.”

“That – that – but – wha-what would your maman think?!”

“Trust me, she wouldn’t mind in the slightest. As long as you’re nice, she’d love to have you around.”

“Mon maître! I – you – i-it is not nice to tease me like this! I feel like my heart is going to come out of my chest like an alien…”

“Aliens bursting out of chests is my fetish, so that’s hot.”

Lily’s flustered panic turned into flustered giggling as she covered up her mouth with her hands. “You – you have strange fetishes, mon maître.”

“I know. And don’t worry, I won’t tease you too hard about you coming over here. I’ll just go ahead and cancel the plane ticket I already ordered.”

“You – you what?!”

“I’m joking. There’s no plane ticket.”

“Oh….” Lily looked and sounded so disappointed after hearing that there wasn’t actually a plane ticket. It made me want to buy one for her for real. “You are cruel, mon maître….”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. Though… you know, you’re kind of making it sound like you actually do want to meet me.”

“Of course! You – you have been my hero since I found your videos, and… because of other reasons….”

“Like wanting to fuck?”

“No! I mean… yes, but that – that was not what I was thinking!”

“Hmm. I wonder what this other reason could possibly be then. It’s not because I’m your hero and it’s not because you want to fuck me. Could it be… gasp, you want to kill me, don’t you?”

Lily shook her head. “I would never!”

“I see. Then you must want to steal all my money.”

“No!”

“Then it must be just as I’ve feared. You want to seduce my mother so that you can officially say ‘I fucked your mom.’”

“I – I am not a child playing online games!” Lily whined, gently smacking her fists against my shoulder.

“I see. Then there’s only one thing left,” I said in a serious tone. I knew that if I teased her about the remaining option then I would be putting myself in a position where a choice would need to be made, but I was tired of making myself wait. How I felt about her was already as clear as could be. What was the point in dragging out our pseudo-relationship when each of us had to have known how we felt? “You must be in love with me. That’s the only other reason I can think of.”

Lily’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red as she retracted her hands away from my shoulder to try and cover up her face, but it was already too late for her to hide her reaction. Instead, all she could do was slowly and subtly nod.

It was obvious, but to have her actually confirm it like this made my heart skip a beat. I felt like some teenage kid with his first crush.

I had no idea that this was the way the day was going to go. I didn’t even know that I’d be getting to see Lily today. Then I thought we were only going to have some lewd fun or something like that. Instead, I ended up getting a confession of love out of her.

And going by the fact that she refused to even look in my direction now, I could tell that she was worried about my response.

Would I play it off? Confess back to her? Reject her? Say that I only want to be friends?

I had no idea what exactly was going through her mind, but I did know that I wasn’t going to let her sit there trapped by her thoughts.

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“Not as much as I love you,” I said and immediately cringed. “Wait, please, let me take that back. It sounded so much better in my head – look, I can do sex, not romance, alright? There’s a reason why I give people sex advice, not love advice.”

Lily turned her head in my direction, still with her hands over her face, and separated two of her fingers over her eye so that she could look at me. “Did… d-did you mean it?”

I scratched behind my ear and answered, “I only want to take the phrasing back, not the message.”

“Mon maître… l-lo—… loves me?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had this much trouble thinking about what to say before, but… yeah. I mean, I’ve thought that I loved some of my exes before, and I feel way more strongly about you than I ever felt about any of them. So, if it’s not love, I don’t know what else it could be.”

“You are – are not teasing me?”

“I wouldn’t tease about something like this.”

“Then… what do we do… now?”

“I have no idea. I’m hoping that you have the answers to that.”

“What about the others? Umm… about… Thera and… Akorya?”

“I don’t know, honestly. I’m just kind of going with my heart and the flow right now.”

“Don’t you… love them? I – I thought it was at least obvious that you like… Thera. I thought you would be with her before I ever – ever had a chance.…”

“Thera would probably die from laughing if she heard that. Anyways, do you want me to be honest?”

“Please….”

“Then yeah, I think I kind of do love Thera. I don’t know if I can say that love Akorya yet, but I feel kind of the same way for her that I felt when I first started getting to know you.” Lily said she was a fan of mine who had seen every single one of my videos, so I was really hoping that she remembered the video where I talked about my polyamorous beliefs. Then again, she was there with me when I talked about such relationships with Thera, and she even agreed with me. “Is that… a problem?”

Lily was quick to shake her head in response. “I – I already imagined that… if I ever… actually date you, then… it would probably be after you and Thera are already together. I – I’m worried about them. What if they – they lose interest in you because you are with me?”

“Wait. Lily, you wanted to know if I love other women because you’re worried about them not still liking me if we hook up?”

“I – I don’t want to ruin their feelings for you!”

“Lily… have I mentioned how beyond perfect you are? I mean, come on. You’re allowed to be even a tiny bit selfish. You just got me to admit to basically loving two other women. You’re allowed to feel jealous, or upset, or feel happy that I came to you first – anything. You really are going to become such a condensed amount of perfection that you collapse into being a black hole at this rate.”

“Why would I feel any of those?” she asked, finally pulling her hands away from her face. “I – I said before that I agree with you on love and… all that. No matter how many girls you… might like, that won’t change how I feel, but I’m scared our feelings might change how they feel. I – I want to be friends with them, and… maybe more, but what if they don’t like us anymore? Not everybody… feels the same way as us.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure I had a similar discussion about this sort of thing with Thera a while back. I think I might have teased her about what if I end up with some other girl before I get strong enough to beat her, and I think she said the offer still stands unless I lose interest? So, at the very least, she implied to me before that she’s fine with other women and doesn’t care if I love others. I think. As for Akorya – well, I don’t know, but I have a feeling that she’s the type who’s fine with it. If anything… she kind of strikes me as the type of person who would be happier with multiple partners. That’s more friends and more lovers for her all at once.”

“Do you think that… maybe we should hide it until we know? I-if we even… become official… or anything.”

“We’ve already confessed to each other. At this point, we should let it be official instead of holding back. As for hiding it, that doesn’t sit right with me. We don’t have to rub it into everybody’s faces, but we shouldn’t hide it.”

“Then, does this mean we are, umm… dating? Are we… boyfriend and girlfriend now?”

“That’s right. You’ve unlocked the title, ‘Girlfriend of Damian.’ And I have the title, ‘Boyfriend of Lily,’ now. We can get matching shirts saying that if I’m lost to return me to you, you can get a shirt saying you’re with stupid that points at me, we can start picking out baby names—”

“Tha-that really is too soon!”

“Alright, alright. No baby names.”

“My heart would not be able to take it….”

“You’re too precious, Lily. By the way, I’m warning you now that I have no idea how to act like a boyfriend, so don’t be surprised if I act the same way as I always have been.”

“That is perfect to me, mon maître! I – I would not want you acting in any other way.”

“Though, I guess I can get you flowers every now and then. That’s a boyfriend-y thing to do, right?”

“I will accept flowers!”

“Good. As for you – there’s an extremely important girlfriend thing that you have to do for me. I won’t date you if you don’t do it.”

“Wha-what?”

“You have to give me at least one kiss each time we see each other. And I’ll do the same for you, of course.”

Lily wasted no time in fulfilling her new obligation to kiss me, planting a kiss right on my cheek. “It – it is your turn, mon maître!”

“Right, right. Such a needy girlfriend,” I teased before leaning in to place a kiss on her cheek.

“Ehehe… I – I feel like I might be dreaming.”

“Don’t worry. I figure there’s still an eighty percent chance that I’m locked up in some sort of mental asylum where you’re just a figment of my imagination. I mean, you’re just unbelievably perfect. I’ve got to be insane, right?”

“Mon maître, they say that pinching to cause pain can wake you up, yes?”

“Right.”

“Then… what if we test to see if we are sane like that, but with… pleasure instead of pain?”

“That eighty percent chance just went up to a ninety percent chance, but that does sound like a plan worth trying.”

I held Lily and pulled her onto my lap where, underneath the water, I was already more than ready for her.

I don’t think I was ever looking forward to having sex as a human as much as I was in that moment.

“Baby names might be out of the question,” I whispered to her, “but what about goat names?”

Lily smiled and placed a kiss on my lips before answering, “I already have a list!”

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