Chapter 45: Volume 2: Chapter 41: Concealed Fears

Edited by: Waning_Crescents

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“You promised me!” Nowe complained as he followed Asher into their office. “What the hell was that?” Nowe barely got angry without good reason, especially at Asher, but after what had just happened, he couldn’t contain his disappointment at how Asher threw his promise out the window.

“I know. I am sorry, but it’s true.”

Nowe stood with arms akimbo, furrowed his brows, and glared at him with a look of disdain.

“Look, I didn’t say that in a manner of ‘I suspect him.’ All I am saying is that his memories are the key to this case, or at least could provide us with information.”

When he received no answer from Nowe, whose stance and expression remained the same, he added with a slight smirk. “So, technically I didn’t break my promise.”

Nowe contemplated if he could accept Asher’s explanation. He found his arguments reasonable, but at the same time disliked the way he had decided to approach this. “You are insensitive. He was right there.” Nowe let out a small scoff. “It’s not his fault he can’t remember.”

“I know.” Asher calmly said and walked to the window. “I get it. I might have jumped the gun in the heat of the moment, but I stand by my statement. He is the key to possibly preventing another tragedy.”

Nowe’s posture relaxed a little, and his voice lowered. “I am sure he is suffering more than we know. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have decided to leave.”

He put his hand on the window glass, his eyes skimming over the cityscape beneath him. He glanced at the people passing by—ordinary people who went about their day, laughing and chatting. Then his eyes wandered over the buildings he could see from their office. Everything appeared rather peaceful if looked upon from a distance, without any deeper knowledge. While Colst still had a high crime rate overall, it still didn’t compare to how it had been at its peak. That was three years ago.

“You weren’t here at that time, but that sight I will never forget. It was nasty. Destructive. Many innocent people got caught up in the conflict. They either succumbed to drugs or got caught in it in some other way. Regardless of the reason, too many lost their lives,” Asher said, melancholic about the past.

“Yeah, you told me about it before, and I did read about it in the report.” Nowe sauntered over. “Is that the reason why you seemed rather off back there? You feel uneasy?”

Asher turned his head slightly and fixed his hazel eyes on Nowe. He remained silent for a good minute before his lips parted. “Partly.”

Nowe, who didn’t look for a deeper meaning behind Asher’s answer, walked away and slumped into his chair. “To be honest, I feel a little uneasy as well…maybe even a little anxious.”

Asher whipped his head around.

“The explosion at the factory, for a second, I really thought I had lost you. The blood, your unmoving body. I was terrified, not knowing what to do. My only outlet at that moment was rage. Whoever caused this had to pay.” Nowe clawed his fingers into his pants. “I know you had been angry at me that I didn’t control myself, but…but.” He squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth. The young man, who usually wore a smile on his face, faltered under the gaze of Asher. “I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you. I can’t—“

Nowe froze when something warm pressed gently on his head. He looked up.

Asher stood before him with his hand resting on his head and a soft smile on his lips that reached all the way to his eyes. “You will never lose me, idiot. You know I am sturdy.” He grinned.

Without any words and with tears in the corners of his eyes, Nowe stared blankly at him. It took him a little while to find his composure again and shake the terrifying feeling off. He had never talked about this before; he didn’t deem it necessary, but the more dire the situation got, the more he started to think of the ‘Ifs.’

When Asher received no reply from his partner, whose eye reflected his uncertainty, he added calmly, “I won’t let it happen. I promise. Okay?”

“Mn.” The corner of Nowe’s mouth slightly curved up, slowly regaining his usual self after Asher’s encouraging words.

Asher gave an approving nod but felt troubled at the same time. Seeing that Nowe, someone who always played more on the positive side of life, also had doubts in his heart, fueled his determination to do everything in his might to preserve Nowe’s cheerful smile.

 

***

 

“Thanks for your help back there.” Cal glanced sideways at Sigal as they stepped out of the elevator on the second floor.

“You deserved it.” Sigal grinned and leaned a bit into him with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. “For leaving me.”

Cal turned his head away in embarrassment, puffing his cheeks a little. “Fair enough.”

When they passed their office without stopping, Cal furrowed his brows in confusion. He thought Sigal wanted to get some documents or check on something, but instead he pressed on.

“Where are we going?”

Sigal pointed at a room two doors away. “I need to talk to Asher for a minute.”

Cal raised an eyebrow but, in the end, refrained from asking further questions. He could already guess that his visit to Asher had to do with the comment he made earlier.

“I will make it quick,” Sigal said as soon as they stopped in front of Asher and Nowe’s office, gesturing for him to wait outside.

Cal glanced with worry at him. “Don’t do anything rash on my behalf. It’s fine if he doesn’t like me. I don’t mind.”

Sigal’s back faced Cal while he clutched the doorknob in one hand. After a beat of silence, he said, “I do.” He opened the door and walked inside.

 

As soon as the door opened, Nowe and Asher turned, facing him.

“Nowe, can you please leave us alone? I need to talk to him for a moment,” Sigal said while he fixed Asher in his gaze.

Nowe scrutinized Sigal’s expression. Even if Sigal tried to conceal his anger, his clenched jaw and his piercing gaze gave him away rather quickly. For Nowe, the reason why Sigal came was obvious— the same reason why he had been angry at Asher just a few minutes ago.

He let out a sigh and got up from his chair, walking past Sigal. “Take it easy, or I won’t hold back either.”

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Whenever the two of them had a dispute, Nowe would let them be, but at the same time he would never miss the chance to send a warning along—just in case. The long-lasting rivalry between the two irritated Nowe at first, but after a while he got used to it, especially because they never truly hurt each other, but rather needed to blow off some steam. The two reminded Nowe of characters from his video games. The hot-headed types, who pretended to be tough, clashing with one another over the tiniest things, but when in need, they would help each other out regardless.

While it didn’t irritate Nowe anymore, he still found it tiresome to watch their dysfunctional friendship.

 

As soon as the clicking noise of the door closing resounded, Asher asked, “What do you wan—“

Before he could even finish his question, Sigal grabbed him by the collar and pushed him roughly against the wall. “What I want?” He barked. “It’s partly your fault that Cal is in this state. I was going to let it slide, but you have to push your luck, don’t you?” His eyes glowed in pure rage, yet he tried to keep his voice down as best as he could so his words wouldn’t travel outside where Cal waited for him.

“Calm the fuck down!” Asher seized his wrist. “And get your facts right!”

“Facts?” Sigal gritted his teeth, resisting the urge to punch Asher in the face.

“That time,” Asher squeezed Sigal’s wrist forcefully. “I just stated a possibility based on facts, and you know it! What happened afterwards was not my fault!” He narrowed his eyes. “Vince was right. You are always only acting on impulse, but where did that lead you?”

Unfortunately, Asher’s words held truth in them. The way Sigal acted at that time couldn’t be blamed solely on Asher. His accusations may have caused Sigal’s irritable state, but his irrational actions were his alone.

Sigal clenched Asher’s collar tighter between his fingers. Veins protruded from below the skin as he did so, while uncontrollable anger welled up inside of him. This feeling was more directed at himself than at Asher, yet in his mind, he had convinced himself that if Asher had never claimed what he did, the incident could have been avoided. In truth, this served to lessen the guilt he had carried with him since that day and nothing else.

Sigal loosened his grip and roared as he let go. “Fuck!”

 

***

 

As soon as Nowe had left his office, he bumped into Cal, who waited outside. Cal had been worried about Sigal’s encounter with Asher, given the circumstances, but after Nowe had reassured him that these two idiots clashed from time to time, Cal felt more relaxed. Instead of waiting, Cal wanted to find out more about the situation Claire had briefed them on earlier. He thought that Kristian may be able to provide them with more detailed information because he was sitting at the source, so he decided to drop by his office. Nowe, who felt the same way, tagged along.

“What are you doing?” Nowe asked as they walked side by side through the hallways.

Cal held his phone in one hand and tapped on it. “Messaging Sigal to let him know where we are.”

Since Cal came back, Sigal had urged him to carry his phone with him at all times in case of emergencies. In this moment, Cal was glad he did, or else Sigal most likely would have panicked and assumed the worst if he had just left without any notice.

“Ah.” Nowe glanced over curiously. “You really get along now, don’t you?”

Cal kept his eyes fixed on the display as he gave a nod. “Mn. We do.”

“I am glad!” Nowe said with a smile on his lips. His hands, which he had rested behind his head like usual, he let drop and added, “But I am quite surprised. What I could witness so far, every other partner he pretty much chased away with his attitude.” He chuckled. “He pissed off Vince so much with that.”

“I can only imagine.” A small laugh escaped Cal’s lips. When he thought about the time he started to work with Sigal, it was anything but fun. The constant fights, along with Sigal’s cold behavior and refusal to work with him, had been a true struggle. Who would have thought that beneath that cold exterior was a man capable of showing affection.

“He must really like you!”

This comment made Cal’s blood rush to his head, causing his cheeks to heat up.

Nowe tilted his head. “You okay?”

“Y-yeah.” Cal put the phone back into his pocket and shook his head in a quick motion before he gave Nowe a smile. “I am fine.”

Nowe glanced at him in suspicion, but Cal quickly changed the topic. “I’ve been curious about something.”

“Yes?”

“What did Asher mean with what he said before?”

“Oh.” Nowe waved his hand up and down. “He was just running his mouth, don’t worry about it.”

That he had received another ambiguous answer made Cal suspicious of the reason. Since Asher uttered these words, Cal had thought about the meaning behind them, and if he considered everyone’s reaction when he asked, then this left him with only one possible answer. “It’s about my lost memories, isn’t it?”

Surprised by Cal’s statement, Nowe halted his movements for a moment and blinked at him.

“So, I was right.” Cal took his reaction as confirmation. “My memories could help with the case.”

Nowe averted his gaze, giving an approving nod. “Yeah. No one wanted to burden you with this.” He paused for a brief moment, his expression saddening. “You had it tough enough.”

Cal shook his head. “It’s fine. I understand.”

Just how could my memories be of any use? Cal had been afraid that what he had found out so far could be connected to what had happened to him, but he didn’t expect that it would go beyond that.

 

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