Chapter 378: 379: Complicated thoughts and emotions

It was the following day where Sumire regretted falling asleep yesterday in the library. If she was awake, then she would have prepared herself for her current situation better. But even then, her attention was elsewhere. She recalled the nightmare from the previous night and looked at her surroundings.

There it is, that pitch-black color again. Ah, is that what one would call "Darkness?" From the very second she was born, the first color she saw was that murky darkness, it was a single color, yet there was something different about it. 

It wasn"t bright or sparkly, and it wasn"t the first thing one expected a newly born infant to stop. A monotone world, from the very moment - call it fate or whatever. 

But maybe there was already something that tied her to that person. If one uses that logic, then she must share a connection with several others. In that case, the concept of destiny vanishes. Even if it was true, she wouldn"t believe it.

She would not believe it since it would be illogical.

Sumire closed her eyes. That is right, and it would not make any sense... There is no information to back up the word destiny. One could easily call it an illusion.

It is something others have romanticized in their heads and brought forth due to their desires. It is human nature to want to dramatize a mere thought, that"s why it is "normal." 

When there are individuals who step outside of what is considered the norm, others immediately shun them. That is a reality she long accepted, that"s why it isn"t new anymore. 

Sumire felt people whispering as they went by, and she sighed deeply. It was natural some people gave her strange looks after that recent test.  It was only natural for them to do that, and she doesn"t blame them for it at all. If someone who is usually average suddenly turns out to be above average and complemented highly, it would make anybody have unpleasant feelings. 

"Look, isn"t that Ibuki?"

"Can you believe it? A score like that?"

"Did she cheat?"

"No, apparently, she is a genius girl. I heard the other teachers talk about it."

She really was out of it, and so she did not think straight. Usually, she would work hard to ensure that her answers seemed rather normal. But recently, her thoughts spiral out of control. Before she knew it, she unconsciously used her real ability.

Shin will be very happy when he finds out about this. But this is no good at all.

But Sumire spotted a few girls looking her away. These were girls Yuhi used to fool around with. It seems like they will have more things to gossip about. After the results, Sumire did think she ought to hide, but hiding at this rate would be foolish.

She could imagine what others would say if she held back now," You"re looking down on us, aren"t you?"

No, that"s not it at all. Those people are wrong. But explaining anything in those circumstances would not be worth her time. 

If there are people who see a drastic change in such a short time, it"s only normal that they won"t accept it. That"s why there is no need to explain it.

Since it is something like that, then there"s no need for her to bother, correct? Yet she recalled the way Ru looked at her with those eyes as those he understood? What does he understand?

What exactly does he know about her?

What exactly are you trying to get at?

"It"s because I know you that I fell in love with you?"

Ha? 

They only had brief interactions back then... How could Ru have possibly fallen in love with her? It did not make any sense at all.

But then again, it was the same for her. Sometimes she questioned why she fell in love with Yuhi. What was the trigger for such strong feelings to emerge? Those eyes showed no lies. 

Yes, that did not lie. So much time has passed since she entered into a relationship with Yuhi, but she still has such complicated feelings like this. 

Ru, in the end, she is still weak.

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Even if she has accepted this power and fate, she would occasionally break down. Can a person without any love become a true leader?

Sumire always believed that hesitations are a sin. It is a crime. 

This is why whenever she does hesitate, she would quickly bury it away before anybody notices.  She buries it away in the furthest corner of her mind. She never cried in front of others because crying is a sign of weakness; this is why she never shed a single tear in front of anyone. 

Yes, that is how it was in the past; she did not cry in front of anyone except him.

She recalled the last words he said it to her. 

The words he last said to her before she thought he died.

"I"ll always be watching over you and lending you strength no matter what."

That was the first time.

It was an event that traumatized her. She knew that ever since then, something hadn"t been the same. After time went by, she finally deciphered the meaning of those words. 

When she came to an answer, she thought that guy is very foolish; he had more idiotic moments for a genius. But it gave her strength, knowing that if she just waited, she would be able to see him again. When she did, though, she didn"t expect it to be like that. 

Sumire didn"t expect to run into his arms and realize that he truly would leave her this time. It was something she noticed from that day onwards.

She recalled the words he said to her before his illness became worse.

"Sorry Ki, I won"t be able to show it to you anymore. A world of color."

Now in the present day, she would dream more about him. In those dreams, he would call out to her and say the same thing repeatedly.

"I"m glad. You"ve found it now, your color." 

Ru is wrong, though.

The colors in her world were always there, but she could not see it because of her complicated emotions. But bit by bit, she saw it. Each color has always represented something for her and always had a meaning. It never left her. But it took her so long to notice something that was always there. 

In those dreams, he would say those words and wrap her in those arms once more. Even though it was only a dream, his embrace was warm, and yet it was different than before. When she realized why she thought it was unpleasant". But that"s why she has to be the one to end this. 

No, Sumire shook her head. Even if she doesn"t want to get others involved, there"s one person that she couldn"t involve in this.

After she arrived at the end of the hall, she spotted Yuhi leaning against the door frame. He seemed busy since he was looking at his phone intently, but the moment she appeared, he turned around. His lips curve to a smile.

"Hey, finished with the test?"

Sumire sighed as she slumped into his arms. "Hide my face Yuhi-san, too many people are looking at me."

Yuhi laughed. "I heard that you didn"t hold back."

"I was distracted. But what is with this school marking papers that quickly?"

"It is because we are an art school. The teachers do not want to make us waste any time on things other than our craft."

"But even then, there is something unusual about all of this." She trailed off when she felt his lips on her forehead. A content sigh passed her lips. "Well, maybe this isn"t a bad situation."

"I know how you feel about this, but let me tell you this. Congratulations, Sumire, you worked hard."

For a moment, she froze when she heard him say those words. How on earth does he do this every single time?

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