Chapter 383: 384: The same

Since Yuhi dragged her away earlier, she remained quiet because she knew she had no excuses. This time it is her fault. But why did he suddenly mention Ru?

"You can"t bad mouth Ru like that! He tried; he did everything he could."

"It was me who was wrong." Why does Ru have to get blamed for her behaviour? 

"Do you know how it feels? You should know after experiencing it yourself. Seeing the person you love with another person like that."

"I--"

"Sumire, I know full well that you don"t want to hurt me."

"Yuhi.." She could only say his name.

"But with the way things are. You will not only hurt me but yourself. The only one who will benefit from this is him. Just talk to me about it instead of doing things this way."

That"s right, all she needs to do is discuss it with him. The solution was right there in front of her, but she didn"t acknowledge that. She overcomplicated the situation instead.

"Yuhi. I.."

Yuhi leaned forward and kissed her forehead slowly. "It"s fine; take your time. I will listen to you, Sumire."

"Okay."

It took her some time to get any words out. It was difficult for her since it was something she refused to acknowledge for so long. Yuhi brought her over to the sofa and even made her some hot cocoa.

"Be careful; it"s hot."

"Yes.."

Yuhi took a seat beside her, and she immediately flinched. She recalled how angry he was at her a few minutes ago. Even though he was the right to do that, for some reason, she felt a bit strange.

"Are you scared of me now?"

"N-no, how can I?" 

This isn"t fear; how could she be afraid of him?

"Sorry, maybe I overreacted there."

"No, that was the right reaction." She mumbled. "Tell me, Yuhi-san, did you know from the start?"

"When you first saw him that day, I noticed."

"I see."

"Was it that painful for you?"

Sumire nodded. "It was painful. I used him as a means to escape my pain, but in the end, I ended up in love with him."

"So you--"

"When you left Yuhi, I was very lonely. I regretted turning you down too. I wanted to tell you I changed my mind, but then you said those words to me on the day of your departure. So in the end, I could never say anything."

"I"m sorry, this is my fault. I shouldn"t have gotten mad there, and I was the one who left you alone."

"No, you tried to take me with you, Yuhi. I was the one who let you go." She trailed off. "The thing is, Yuhi, when I was with Sano, I never thought of you."

"Ha, that is harsh."

"I wanted to focus on him and only him. You know how I struggle with human interactions and relationships?"

"Yeah, I know."

Sumire took a deep breath. "When I met him, I already knew he wasn"t a good person. If I didn"t focus all my attention on him, then I would have gotten swept away. Despite what I have said to you, I did have some control in our relationship."

"Control?"

"Yes. He was always the one who sought me out. I never called him. I only ever went to him whenever it rained."

"You do get restless on rainy days."

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Sumire laughed softly. "Yuhi-san, are you trying to show off your knowledge?"

"This does bother me a lot, even if I did figure it out before."

"He was the perfect gentleman type. But I knew his true colors very well. He had a bad temper, but the main cause of that is his family. Did you know Yuhi, Sano isn"t the first son?"

"Ah."

"He isn"t the first son, but because the first one has had a grave illness since he was young. They raised Sano as the first son."

"But even then, Sumire, he hurt you physically, right?"

"Mmm, I won"t make any excuse for that. When his mood swings got worse, he often hurt me. When he first did that, I thought he was lower than trash. But did you know why I forgave him?"

"Why?"

"Because I am no better than him. How many innocent people did I hurt to vent my anger? How many lives did I take under somebody else"s orders? It is no different than that."

She is no better than him. At least Sano was not the type of person to hide his real personality in front of her. He showed her everything, and it was because of that she remained with him. 

"He was honest, as cruel as he was. I liked that he didn"t hold himself back; when he was angry or upset, he would show that."

"So you liked him because he didn"t pretend in front of you?"

"I suppose it was something like that." Sumire laughed. "Well, you know I don"t get it very well, but at some point, I became attached."

"Sumire, it"s hard for me to understand. He hit you, didn"t he?"

"Only once."

Yuhi looked surprised. "Only once, but I thought?"

"Uh, Yuhi-san, are you forgetting how strong I am? No matter how docile I was back then, I would not let him hit me."

Yuhi sighed deeply. "Right, I guess I don"t know him well enough. He at least treated you well before all the misunderstandings, right?"

"Mm, I think I figured it out. The source of his anger was Arashi-senpai."

Yuhi blinked, surprised at those words. "What does Ichinose have anything to do with this?"

"I think he misunderstood what our relationship was back then." Sumire carefully chose her words. She did not want Yuhi to misunderstand the situation too. "In Sanos eyes, a younger guy who had a higher status in the elite circle than him and got along with him suddenly appeared."

This is the best way to explain the situation. Sano also admitted this.

"So, in other words, he got jealous because he saw how close you two were."

Gah, but he has her already figured out. This is no good; Yuhi-san can see right through her.

"You know, I thought I told you not to bother with excuses and be truthful."

Sumire looked down. "You could tell me directly not to lie."

"But if I did that, you would feel bad."

She hates this side of him that makes this many considerations for her sake. This person goes so far for her. But, all she does is hurt him. Sumire wrapped her arms around his neck, and Yuhi patted her back.

"It"s fine Sumire, you know I won"t hate you over this."

"You"re an idiot, Yuhi."

"Yes, I know. So finish your story."

"I liked him a lot. When I realized I fell in love with him, I intended to tell him that, but then I caught him cheating on me. It had to be that very same day. Our relationship was already strange then, but it got weirder after that, he openly cheated on me, and like an idiot, all I did was argue with him. But even I got tired of that."

She can"t tell Yuhi that she got lost in those kisses and gentle words like a fool. 

"So basically, this isn"t Stockholm syndrome. Or maybe it is."

Sumire hits him, and then he laughs. "I am joking with you. I know you are not the type of person who would let somebody take advantage of you. You just went along with the flow since you felt like you had nothing to lose, right?"

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