Chapter 417: 418: Would there ever be a perfect society?

At those words, she felt her body turn cold.

It is not like she didn"t suspect it. It was one of the reasons why she spent so much time with him. Sure she intended to use him as a puppet and then throw him away. But even more than that, she wanted to know. The moment she saw that emblem, it felt familiar.

"I think he carried me away."

Those people panicked and called their superior. The superior must have been Sano.

"Did--did he give the order-" Sumire could not find the words. 

No matter how much of a jerk he was, she still had some faith in him. A part of her still hoped—what a stupid thought. 

Why do these things still surprise her? 

Eli nodded. "It was him."

Sumire"s gaze darkened, but Eli patted her shoulder. "Sumire, he may have given the order, but there was somebody else who manipulated him. Moreover, it seemed like he gave the order without knowing who the target was."

"But he has always hated Ru! How are you so sure?" Sumire exclaimed.

Ever since the casino incident, she knew that Sano disliked Ru. When she came here to Tokyo, he said some conceding words too. However, that guy always acts uncomfortably when she mentions Ru.

"I should not be the one to answer that question. You should know."

Sumire bit her lip and looked down. "Even if he is kind to me, I still don"t know."

"Even after everything he has endured for your sake?"

"But that could just be for show. Who is to say he is not pretending? He already did it once; how can I be certain that he will not do it again?"

"Sumire-"

Sumire shook her head. "Right now, I do not know. That is why I did not discuss things with you."

Eli doesnt say anything, and she laughed. "I know I am destroying our plans a bit. But can you let this slide? Even more so after what you said to me."

"There is more to this than meets the eye, do you get it?"

"I think so."

Sano has been kind to her, while she is not the type to blindly trust like that. Even somebody like her can tell the difference between fake kindness and genuine. As for the kindness, Nagawa Sano has shown her recently. 

"He is foolishly sincere."

Eli chuckled. "It seems I was worrying for no reason; you calmed down quickly too."

Indeed the sudden burst of anger from a few minutes ago seemed like a lie now. 

"If you can behave this way now, then perhaps you will be fine for this next part too." Then, Eli pulled something out of the lighter-looking envelopes. Sumire"s eyes widened when she spotted a familiar book.

Her heart beat increased. "This-"

"It"s proof that Tsueno Mamoru is alive."

It took Sumire a few extra minutes to understand what Eli just said. "What are you talking-"

Eli shook his head. "Sumire, didn"t you ask me to investigate because you understood?"

"How come, why hasn"t he-"

"I will allow you to read the report in your own time. But I suspect that he must have had severe injuries. How he was able to get away and leave a body double, I am unsure. But he managed it."

It is not like she didn"t think of this before because she did. She even said this to Yuhi. But now that she has seen this with her own eyes, she doesn"t know what to think.

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Sumire asked Eli to leave afterward, and he surprisingly did so without any more questions. She needed time to think.

For so many years, she lived surrounded by darkness. One of her first memories as a child is the darkness surrounding her.

When she looked out the window, she thought of him. Sumire picked up the box of cigarettes on her bedside table and a small lighter.

She began to light it. After a few minutes, she watched as a smoke trail came from the cigarette. She sighed deeply, "why am I doing this again?"

"I spent so many years alone." This feeling is normal for her.

No matter how many people stood around her, she would feel alone. The loneliness never went away. People often referred to her as a strong, cold, and stoic woman. She also refused help from others even when she needed it.

But despite that behavior of hers, she wanted somebody to notice it. She wanted somebody to notice that she needed somebody to rely on. It is suffocating pretending to be so strong all the time.

She missed times where she was still naive and knew nothing about the world. Those times where she believed that the law would protect the people. A time where she thought the law would root out all the evil. But, it did not take her long to realize how naive that thought was.

Would there ever be a perfect society? A perfect system? She has repeatedly asked that question for so many years, but she has yet to find an answer.

Sumire recalled that night several months ago.

…..

The bed produced several sounds of shaking. Sumire felt like her heart would leap out of her chest.

"This is bad. I said, okay, but do I even know what I am doing?"

She isn"t embarrassed bur she felt odd. All the girls in school talk about this stuff all the time, and she isn"t too misinformed about it. But, this-- Sumire watched as Ru removed his shirt.

He turned to her. "Ki--"

"Gahhhh-!"

Mamoru burst into laughter. "Ki, you"re too nervous."

"N--no I--"

He cupped her cheeks and bent down to kiss her again. "I"ll calm you down."

Since when did he become so bold? She has never seen him this way before. But he is kissing her so deeply, almost like he knows what he is doing. Sumire paused for a moment. So it can"t be that this isn"t his first time? No, no, Ru has never looked at another girl. 

But why does this feel good? Her head is turning mushy. Sumire felt him interlace his hands with her.

The warmth of his bare body against hers--

"Are you crying?" Mamoru pulled his lips away from hers. 

Sumire mumbled idiot, and he chuckled. They kiss again, and this time more intently than the last. She felt his hands on her shirt and trembled.

"Ki," Mamoru said softly. "If you are afraid, just say so, but I won"t stop, okay?"

So why would she waste her time on those words? Sumire opened her eyes, and her eyes widened when she saw how happy he looked. Despite the lustful and strange atmosphere, he still wore the same smile on his face. 

No, something is different. "Ru--I feel strange."

"Yeah."

"But I like seeing you happy."

For a while, it felt like she had not seen him smile properly. Even though he did not discuss it with her, she knew she was the reason why he lost his smile. Because of her, he is secretly suffering, but even if that is the case, he still looks at her with such an affectionate gaze.

"I love you."

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