Chapter 799: 790 I Can't Be With You



"I think my destined person is Yuhi." Sumire declared.

Toh sighed. "Of course, you think that. But until we know for sure, I don't think we can rule me out."

A bond that is stronger than a relationship or even marriage. If she has something like that with Yuhi, then perhaps her remaining unease and fear will vanish from her heart.

"I'll ask Mamoru to come visit tomorrow. You'd like to see him, I'm sure." Toh quickly changed the topic.

Sumire knew if they lingered on this, she might have even given evidence that supported her claim. Toh is smart. He most likely already suspects it's Yuhi, and yet if he were to admit it. It would be the same as having to give up on her.

At the mention of Mamoru, her eyes brightened. Although they have been exchanging messages, she hasn't seen him since her birthday. Back then, she was feeling very overwhelmed just seeing him. The next time they meet, she wants to speak to him properly.

"Oh, that's good. Huan's been talking about him."

"Not you?" Toh said, surprised.

"I--I'll admit, I do want to meet again." Sumire nervously looks at him. "Do you want to join us?"

"Supposing you can't go out in public, I'll be around anyway."

That's true, the most they will be able to do is a stroll outside in the gardens. Even then, they ought to exercise caution. Sumire sighs deeply. This is one of the downsides of being a celebrity and one of the reasons why she hesitated about debuting. The lack of privacy.

Then again, from the moment she was born, she has always been a public figure. Her thoughts broke off when she felt Toh drawing circles with his fingers on her stomach and arm. He was speaking in a gentle tone.

He is too good to her, and yet she must let him down again.

"Toh--I'm sorry." Sumire apologized.

"About?"

"You waited for me. You're still waiting, but I---" Sumire didn't know how to phrase it.

'I can't be with you.'

Would it be too straightforward for her to say that? But giving him a half-hearted answer isn't fair. 

"Make no mistake, Sumire. I knew from the start who you loved."

Indeed Toh knew about Yuhi and yet still continued to date her. Had Sano known about it from the start, he definitely wouldn't have gone out with her. She didn't respond and instead enjoyed the rare comforting silence.

It's strange; normally, the silence would frighten her, yet when she is with this person, she isn't afraid. 

She is very thankful for everything he has done for her. He nurtured her spirit when she was at one of the lowest moments in her life. He had been there for her when she broke, yet she cannot give him this.

"Goodnight, Toh." Sumire decided to quickly end the conversation.

It could become dangerous for them both if they continue on this topic. She doesn't want to push him away so harshly when he is being nothing but kind to her. 

"Goodnight."

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The pain and anguish remained in her heart, and so did the pounding sensation. But, unlike earlier, she could close her eyes without feeling afraid.

_________

Toh didn't rest much that night. He wanted to stay awake just in case she needed him. He spent most of the night just watching her, continuing to caress her back and draw circles with his thumb on her arm and stomach. He wanted to reassure her that he was right there and she had nothing to fear. She looked uncomfortable at random points in the night but would immediately calm down at his touches.

Unfortunately, he couldn't hide his exhaustion when she walked into breakfast the next morning. He was just finishing placing the last dish on the table when Sumire entered.

Unlike the previous day, a bit of colour had returned to her cheeks. But she was still sick and had a blanket draped across her shoulders.

He already contacted Narasaki last night and informed him that Sumire couldn't take on any work or attend university. The latter, he could have easily contacted the university and informed them himself. But that would draw attention to their relationship.

There were rumors about them, and Sumire admitted that they dated before he returned. But he knew the girl didn't want to draw any more attention than necessary.

The media coverage regarding what happened between them seemed limited to star town. Otherwise, more people would have harassed her over it.

Sumire watched him for a few minutes before frowning and walking over. "When did you sleep?"

"An hour ago," Toh admitted.

He didn't see the need to lie to her when she clearly already knew the answer to her question.

"Don't be ridiculous. You can't cut out on sleep just to watch over me." Sumire lectured.

"Then, shall we do something else?" Toh's hands started glowing, and he touched her arm. "Every time you have a nightmare. I'll feel a small tug that'll jolt me awake."

It was a contract between evolved humans, a smaller version of the bargain Lucifer forced upon Sumire.

Sumire didn't seem to like this idea either, but she must have realized this was the compromise and nodded. He truly has no problems staying up all night and getting little sleep as long as she is comfortable.

Toh kissed her forehead. "Eat."

Sumire rolled her eyes but sat down. "Where are the kids?"

"Still sleeping. It's only seven."

He saw Sumire peeking through the hallway leading upstairs. "Maybe I should-"

Toh cuts her off by placing his hand on her forehead, frowning. He slipped a cold compress on her head. "You're staying here, eating breakfast, and I'll get them when they are ready."

Sumire sighed. "I feel like I'm being a burden."

"I already told you that you're not and that I want to do this for you." Toh trailed off. "You're still as restless as ever. Can't you just sit still for once and relax?"

"Didn't we have a conversation about that the other day?"

"Yes, we did, and you heard my thoughts. You have to face it, Sumire. Terashima isn't here right now, and if you're having problems. You need to accept the kindness of the people around you and let them help. If you can't do that, at least allow me."

Sumire tilted her head. "If I accept your help, would it be different from accepting others?"

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