1.1.4 : Nightmares

 

 

With what rope the band of green creatures have with them, they tie my arms behind my back and attach a second length of it to bind my legs, just enough to where I can walk along, but they don’t leave it just at that. Another length is fastened around my neck with a crude knot that I can barely examine if I crane my neck down. The knot is a mess that anyone who’s studied types of knots most useful for securing objects in the back of a truck or even for use during a camping trip, but even lacking finesse, their knot does the job of keeping me on a tether.

Despite threatening to cut me apart, limb by limb, it seems that their threat will have to wait to be carried out.

Before the forced march started, they held me down as they tore off my dress, robbing me of what dignity I have left. Once every scrap of cloth was stolen from me, looking around, I inevitably looked down at myself to discover that two relatively large breasts stood on my chest, sticking out. The moment I laid eyes on these two beautiful things attached to me, I added some things up and realized that there’s no coincidence that my voice is melodious and high-pitched. In this strange dream world, I seem to have become a woman, not that I get why. 

Having been a man, assuming this isn’t just a strange dream, being naked doesn’t bother me too much. Having my chest bare to a group of lewd and covetous looks doesn’t mean anything to a man, and yet… I almost manage to convince myself that I’m immune, since I am a man, and yet… There's something demeaning about being objectified no matter who or what looks at you, no matter your gender. It gets worse when they know what they’re looking at in that way. It drives home that I’m now a woman.

As soon as they tore off my clothes with their bare hands, they took a moment to examine their work and then unsheathed their weapons, threatening to cut off limbs for the sake of a sick form of entertainment.

“I could use a scrap of a snack.” One eyed me greedily. The others laughed coarsely, agreeing with his sentiment.

The one that spoke seized my arm and draws back his sword to sever it at my shoulder, but interrupting, the largest of them got back to his feet and bellowed loudly, “All of the food will SPOIL if you keep FUCKING around! Stop playin’. Do you all want to die?”

The green creatures winced in anxiety and the one holding my arm dropped it, visibly annoyed. Even the one that wanted to cut off my arm’s eyes filled with fear as he looked at something far beyond me. I got an idea that they were afraid of something. Were they afraid that someone would stumble on them while they were playing around, or was it something else?

The largest of them, the one who initially held me at a sword’s edge, the same I kicked in his balls, glared at me. I was certain that he had one hell of a grudge for having his balls concussed. Why didn’t he let that other cut off one of my arms in retaliation? Is time so precious?

Even though he looked like he wanted to take it out on me somehow, he still directed his aggression at the others kicking and slashing at them to intimidate and get them moving. With snarls and growls, they gathered up their respective burdens and moved along.

I remained quiet, staring dully around me, noticing that there were sacks of things that they were dragging behind them. Unable to guess at their contents, the answer to that question was settled when one got caught on a patch of brambles, tore the bag open and revealed what was inside all of the sacks.

It was a man’s dead body inside the sack. The one hauling his body cursed and promptly took out his frustration on a nearby tree, hacking large chunks from its trunk, causing its sap to drool out its side like saliva from the creatures’ mouths.

Bending down, he grabbed the ankles of the man. The leader of them stomps to him and gives that one a swift kick in the ass. The other monsters straightened, turning to observe as these two shouted at each other, watching a new fight possibly unfolding, but the leader ended it by slamming his sword down powerfully onto that creature’s sword, knocking his sword into his own head. 

Barking, he kicked his subordinate repeatedly. “Stop fuckin’ around!”

 That creature hissed and scurrying away. He grabbed the ankles of the man he was dragging to resume the forced march.

Seeing all the hard rocks the corpses are being dragged over as the path trends generally upwards a slope, I winced. This is what they were doing to me. 

The bodies were pulled over rocks as we scaled the mountain with their leader towing me up the slope by the lead tied around my neck. Looking over my shoulder, I caught sight of massive plumes of smoke rising from the valley below and a river running through it with birds of prey soaring in the air above. The air got colder and colder as we went, to the point where the vapor in my breath became visible to the eye.

Ahead, a faint path was barely visible, winding through brush and rocks with pine needles carpeting the spaces in between with thickets and patches of other plant life and trees rising up on either side. Their path was circuitous and the path meandered upwards.

I began to wonder at why these creatures were dragging dead human bodies behind them and why I was being pulled along on a tether. These things eat humans.

As backwards as this dreamworld seems to be, medieval at best, in a world without any refrigeration technology to compensate, things probably don’t keep fresh too long without salting or using other old methods of preservation. Realizing that I’m one of their pending meals, I dragged my feet, looking down whenever a creature would look back at me with a hungry expression.

The faster I got where we were going, the sooner the time would come when they’d dismember and violate my body, or whatever else they had in mind. It was hard for me to guess what all they wanted except for devouring me, but a slightly perverted side of my mind suggested some pretty awful things aside from that. I stumbled over rocks, falling on purpose many times, acting like I’d given up fighting.

* * * * * * *

Back to my present situation, I have no other idea how to fight what’s happening to me. 

I hope that they'll start by eating the dead ones before me because that would keep me alive longer, and yet… hoping that others get eaten before me, even if they’re already dead makes me look like a very awful human being. That’s someone I don’t want to be.

No matter how much I drag my feet to delay our trek, we inevitably draw near to a cave’s entrance that comes in sight between some tall trees. My throat hurts terribly, my back feels like it has been bruised and the back of my head hurts and everything generally burns and aches, much of it inflicted from when I was being dragged along the ground for however long before I gained consciousness. My legs burn in ways I couldn’t imagine possible before today. In Japan, I walk everywhere except for using public transport like buses and trains, the occasional use of a bicycle, so a bit of exercise is no big deal to me, and yet my body… or rather, this woman’s body is either too stiff or unaccustomed to this kind of rigorous exercise. 

Dried blood stains my chest down to my legs. Over the course of this long walk, the wound on my throat gradually stopped bleeding, but I’m worried about getting an infection.

I stumble a last time at the entrance of the cave, although this time it’s unintentional. I’m just plain exhausted now, even if this is just a dream. Dizzy from blood loss and exertion catching up with me, my eyes start to go even fuzzier. They had been going blurry for a while now. Surrendering to my exhaustion, everything around me goes white.

The whiteness clears as a hip slams into my shoulder, making me brace myself with a hand to keep from falling over.

“Halima. Don’t stare off into nothin’ so often,” a woman’s voice yells in my ear. 

“Such a daydreamer, you are. Stop slacking off, girl.” I blink, looking over my shoulder at a stern and somewhat fat woman standing over my shoulder. By feel, I notice that my water-logged hands are immersed in cool water. 

My eyes slide up from my hands to see a large river that I’m currently squatting beside. The sun shines directly down on me, beating me down with its implacable presence. Crickets chirp in the nearby bushes and to either side, there are people, some fishing, others chatting, and a few children playing.

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“Get back to washin’!” The woman beside me slaps a hand down onto my shoulder, causing me to blink and wince in surprise. Looking back at my wrinkled hands, my lips purse, annoyed. Some kind of cloth is knotted between my fingers. There’s an odd board thing that's set up halfway in the water that the cloth rests on. For the life of me, I can’t think of what this means.

Kneeling beside me, she rolls her eyes, looking at me with a sigh. “I haven’t dropped you on your head, not once, Halima. Just move your hands forward and back over the board, eh? Did you forget how, lost in your dreams again?” She mimes doing the task she describes with her knobby hands, used to hard work. I blink, disoriented, frowning. 

I’m washing clothes? Whose? This dream is getting weird and weirder. Why the hell am I washing clothes when I was just…? 

“Just do it!” The woman roars at me. She grumbles and with a huff of heavy breath, lifts her bangs poking out from a kerchief on her head. She wears a rustic-looking dress with lovely embroidering at her throat, a rose among daisies and other verdure. “Spirits. Goddess, please forgive my child her idiocy.”

I turn my eyes down in shame to see a fine bosom still mounted to my chest. Are these the same pair as before? I really can’t tell. I’m wearing a simple dress like the obese woman’s with its own embroidery on the hem of the bodice. This one a simpler design is of vines and flowers. Looking down from my chest to the surface of the water, among the ripples and eddies, I see bright blonde hair and blue eyes in a ragged but cute face. Her blonde hair has been tied back with a length of something.

The girl that I have to conclude is myself, given the fact that it’s a reflection, looks to be around eighteen or so years old, but possibly somewhat younger than that.

Feeling ignored, the praying woman squatting beside me grouches and curses under her breath after delivering a firm swat to the side of my head. Reaching over, she seizes the washing board from my weak grasp and starts vigorously rubbing it over the board in the water. Liquid splashes everywhere, and the board makes a grating noise as the cloth is agitated. Rising, I take a step away, feeling a bit dizzy, looking around me, I’m bewildered.

“Halima… if we don’t do our fair share, we’ll just be poor beggars.” She fixes me with a steely eye as she scrubs. “How many times have I gotta tell you that you have to toughen up and work harder, Halima? You ain’t some spoiled lil’ princess. You’re my child. If you ever catch a husband, I doubt he’ll put up with your airheaded nature.”

Trees rise to either side of us. This is a mountainside river, maybe the one I saw in my last vision off in the distance before going into the cavern with those nasty green creatures. The mountains rise above on either side around this valley with snowy peaks. When I turn my head, I see a village some distance away from the river with buildings of wood and stone. Puffs of smoke drift lazily from chimneys up into the skies to play beneath the wings of birds that circle with faint cries. Pie filchers and scavenger birds.

Scavenger birds. I clutch my head and my eyebrows knit. How did I know that?

The sound of the running water mixes with the murmur of local insects chirping and the dull murmur of distant talking.

“You’re too much given to your strange nature, Halima,” the woman continues to mutter at me. “This kind of life ain’t for you, that’. I always said it true, but ain’t got any other choices, have you? There’s no other place for us to go, lest you want to run out from the mountains south to be some poor beggar. Ain’t nowhere in this world you can get by without hard work. Get it together, for your own sake! In a community like ours up in the mountains, everyone has to pitch in however they’re able.”

I stare at the woman and frown. “I—I understand that. I’m sorry, but…” My eyes fill with tears.

Jeraldine barks a crude laugh at me. “Ya want to work in the fields with the menfolk, instead? Get a chance to flirt with those boys like Gardenine. She’s got ya fenced off, don’t she? They’re all over your old friend, lovely as you are.” She huffs and shakes her head. “You want to hunt for game with the menfolk? I’m sure they’d let you come along at least once, but I doubt it’ll take long term. You aren't good for too much with your head always up in the air.”

Chewing my lip, I clutch at my chest. 

Jeraldine? This woman who's mocking me so awfully, her name's Jeraldine! How do I know?

I feel tears running down my cheeks and for some strange reason, I find myself running from the riverbank and Jeraldine laughs as she continues her work. 

She has always been rough on me. Ain’t my mother, certainly. Actually… I don’t have any parents. Nothing. 

My eyes widen at the thought. 

When I reach a tree, that’s out of Jeraldine’s sight, I lean against the tree and rub my cheeks to clear them of all the dampness. 

My parents are gone. Long since gone. They died… in a horrible accident… when they went on a trip across the Pacific Ocean to Hawaii—and something went horribly wrong with the plane. It went down and there were few survivors and… my parents weren’t among the handful of those lucky ones.

That sorrowful event left me alone. Without their stabilizing presence, their income, in time their debtors contacted me and I didn’t have the money nor enough knowledge to save the family house. 

I started working right after having received the bad news. But I didn’t make enough, not knowing I was on a timer. I even stopped going to school for months on end to try to make enough in what time they gave me, but what I made wasn’t even enough to keep the utilities going regularly. In the end, it was the things that I didn’t know that got me. 

I ended up homeless and was taken into the state’s custody and in time was sent to a temporary home while I got my feet under me. I learned more about how things work in the adult’s world and as soon as I managed to save enough money, I left my new fake family behind to get my own apartment, taking all my problems back under my own control, giving myself over to my work to make enough to afford a humble Tokyo apartment. 

I found adulthood sooner than some.

No… My parents… I never knew 'em. The beastkin or gobbies took ‘em.

What?! Gobbies?

Goblins. Ain’t no one doesn’t know all about them nasty characters. 

…

I was left all alone and not a one was left to look after me ‘cept for Jeraldine. She nags me something terribly; works me harder than anyone else like I was a slave and none of the boys even look twice at me since we fell out. They’re all obsessed with Gardenine. The Demon Baron curse her and them! Why can’t they see me?

My eyes widen and I clutch my head. “Shut up! What the hell is happening to me?!”

“...” That voice in my head goes quiet for a long period of time until it finally mutters, “I hope they all die!”

As though triggered by the words, everything goes white again.