Even If It's Not Love

Chapter 20: 11.1


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“I was worried if you were okay…”

“… Ah, yes.”

Yoo-hwa, who could not say that she was okay even if they were just passing words, answered indifferently. However, it wasn’t really his fault; she tried to smile, although awkwardly, but her mouth twisted horribly. It was unclear whether her smile was conveyed properly.

The owner said he would like to talk for a while and Yoo-hwa repeatedly refused, but he said, ‘It’s because of a job. I found a job elsewhere that Yoo-hwa could work at… As you know, I can’t come here because I’m busy in the morning and during the day, wouldn’t it be better for Yoo-hwa to get a job quickly? Don’t you think so?’, so she had no choice but to follow him.

Amid this, she did not have enough money to make a living, to pay for the next goshitel expenses, and to buy a triangular gimbap. It was absurd but sad to say that even sadness or pride were a luxury in front of money.

For her, finding a job was as difficult as sprinting for a long time, so she had no choice but to quickly hold on to the help he was giving.

As soon as Yoo-hwa got inside the car, the owner drove somewhere. Both the shops and the lights on the roadside were gradually disappearing.

Yoo-hwa, who belatedly felt an uneasy feeling, asked where they were going and told him to stop the car, but the owner didn’t listen. It was then that Yoo-hwa realized why the owner had asked if she had family, if she didn’t have any relatives, or friends.

The owner stopped the car in a deserted place and made a completely different expression from before. A disgusting excitement crept over his shy face.

“You’re so pretty that I couldn’t help looking at you from the beginning.”

She got goosebumps.

“Let’s just meet like this without others knowing. I will take care of you from time to time without difficulty. Hm?”

She didn’t expect the new job to be something like this.

Yoo-hwa tried to laugh out loud at her wretched life. The owner, who took Yoo-hwa’s laughter as a positive answer, slowly approached her.

Instead of telling him not to do it, Yoo-hwa took out a soju bottle from the plastic bag and hit the owner in the face. There was no way that a person who took her all the way here was going to listen to her request to stop anyway.

“Ack!”

While the owner was knocked out to the other side, Yoo-hwa opened the passenger door and stepped out. She ran like a crazy person, looking straight ahead. Behind her, she heard the sound of the car getting closer, along with swear words. It seemed as if someone would grab her by her hair and throw her at any moment, and anxiety flooded in. When the familiar fear came over her, she ran faster and faster.

As if escaping from the past.

Yoo-hwa rushed into the dense forest and hid behind the biggest tree. The owner went back and forth a few times, searching around with his headlights before disappearing. After he said that he would not let her go if they met again, the surroundings became quiet. Yoo-hwa, who sat down with her weakened legs, laughed and cried.

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Why is her life so absurd?

That night, she walked back home. The soles of her feet were filled with blisters and her mouth was dry, but she couldn’t stop walking. If she stopped in this state, it seemed that her feet would immediately give in.

Her hope was dead, her expectations were shattered. What made it difficult for her to bear more than anything else was the bare face of a person who had a hard time opening her heart.

What followed was the thought that, in the end, she was alone again.

She held her arms in the sudden cold, but she realized later that it wasn’t the cold, but the loneliness that pierced her bones.

While walking, she repeatedly cried and laughed like a crazy person. She thought if she should die, but she didn’t dare to do that.

What kind of lingering feelings does she have about this tiresome and ugly life, that she doesn’t even have the courage to die?

She was disgusted with herself and felt nauseous.

Yoo-hwa arrived at the goshiwon at dawn and fell asleep as if she were dead. When she woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the door, the world had changed.

Another burden was attached to the murderer’s daughter.

As the woman who lured the good-hearted owner and seduced him with her body, but changed suddenly when she failed, wielded a soju bottle and extorted his wallet.

The owner said he had a minor concussion and had to get more than ten stitches on his head. The owner’s wife grabbed Yoo-hwa by the neck and argued loudly, so that the whole neighborhood could hear it.

And called her a whore.

No one wanted to hear the truth. Then, rumors spread in the goshitel. Although she was not arrested for lack of evidence, people cursed and pointed at her wherever she was. Yoo-hwa was no longer able to bear the harsh criticism she was not used to.

Having really lost the place she could go to, Yoo-hwa returned to the place where she lived with her mother when she was young. The neighborhood had become a mess due to the redevelopment confirmation, but the owner was accepting tenants, saying that he would receive even a penny in rent until the end.

The owner didn’t care what kind of person the tenant was as long as they paid the monthly rent. It has now been over 3 months since she settled here.

If she gets kicked out of here… She will really have nowhere to go.

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