Even If It's Not Love
Joy and a sense of tingling spread on top of the unfamiliar feeling. When she turned her head to look at him, Woo-hyun, who had actually called her, was still looking at the cup ramyeon.
“Do you have kimchi?”
Woo-hyun suddenly asked.
“It’s stuffy to eat only cup ramyeon.”
Woo-hyun said, finally raising his head and looking at Yoo-hwa. Although it was something meaningless despite calling her affectionately, Yoo-hwa could not move easily. Knowing that it was her turn to answer, Yoo-hwa waited. Her throat was dry, and she felt thirsty.
“You don’t?”
Woo-hyun asked again, innocently.
He was friendly, like someone who had forgotten that she had told him two days ago not to pay her any attention.
“… Yeah.”
Yoo-hwa replied in a low voice. Woo-hyun said, “That’s a pity.”, and turned his gaze back to the cup ramyeon. As if kimchi was really his purpose.
Why was he eating cup ramyeon outside, on this cold day? Besides her, there is no one else who walks around. She wondered if he was eating to show it to her, but that didn’t make sense.
She stayed most of the lunchtime inside the grandma’s house. It was rare for her to come out at this time like today.
Instead of delving into the question, Yoo-hwa chose to forget it. Her eyes turned to her house again. She had to do the housework quickly before the grandma woke up, and then go back again. She had to take care of the grandma’s lunch, as she hadn’t eaten yet.
“Yoo-hwa.”
The voice that came to her mind made her heart sting.
***
Ten minutes before the old lady arrived, Yoo-hwa returned home. Normally, she would eat dinner or stay at home and stare blankly out the narrow window, but today, she came out wearing her coat. She had run out of food. If she had any rice left, she would have boiled some porridge and tried to bear with it for a few days, but there was none.
Pulling down on her hat, Yoo-hwa bowed her head and went down the narrow road. The shallow descent was not maintained, so it was all bumpy.
The only streetlamp in the middle of the road was broken and it had been dark for a long time, and when the cold wind blew, there was a smell of garbage coming from here and there.
After walking one bus stop away to the mart, Yoo-hwa quickly put the things she had in mind inside the basket. It was unexpected that the steps that were walking towards the cashier stopped.
Yoo-hwa’s gaze turned to the bag with bright red kimchi drawn on it.
“Do you have kimchi?”
Why did that question suddenly pop up in her mind?
Why did she keep remembering that all day long…
Yoo-hwa bit her lip firmly. Her hands trembled. Right now, she was in a situation where she was short of money. The 100,000 won per month she received from the old lady was not enough to cover the monthly rent, and she was using up all the money she had. But why was she standing there like this?
After thinking for a while, Yoo-hwa turned her head and headed towards the cash register.
“Do you have kimchi?”
Once again, Yoo-hwa tried to ignore the sound that she suddenly heard, followed by her name.
***
“Come out! Come out! You can’t take someone else’s money! You can’t, you bitch!”
Unlike usual, where all she could hear were cat noises, the multi-unit house was noisy. Yoo-hwa’s steps stopped suddenly at the familiar shouts. Without realizing it, her shoulders bent inwards. The cold wind made her fingertips get even colder as she picked up the bag. She grabbed the bag strap she had almost dropped even tighter.
“You bitch! You bitch!”
The old lady’s shouts echoed through the whole neighborhood. Yoo-hwa turned around, feeling the urge to run away, and stopped.
She had nowhere to go.
The world was so wide that there were many more places that her feet could not reach even if she walked all her life, but she was saddened by the fact that there was no other place that welcomed her.
Yoo-hwa bit her lip. It was one of Yoo-hwa’s habits that came out whenever she suppressed her rushing emotions. As she slowly went inside, as expected, the old lady was sitting in front of her closed door and screaming.
It seemed that she had been screaming for a long time; her hair was messy, and a broken soju bottle was lying in front of her. It looked like she had been drinking again.
When she was drunk, the old lady occasionally came to her and made a scene. She didn’t know why her target had changed to her instead of the grandma, but she couldn’t report it.
For some reason, the police station had their doors locked for more time than they had them opened, and even if she met a police officer, they would not settle it.
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It was a zone completely outside the law.
That was where she was, and that was her life.
“What’s wrong?”
Yoo-hwa stood in front of her and asked. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t hide her trembling voice.
Then, even in the darkness, she could see the old lady’s face, which had turned red. She cried not because of sadness, but because of anger and cold.
Chapter 17: 9.2
“Do you have kimchi?”
Woo-hyun suddenly asked.
“It’s stuffy to eat only cup ramyeon.”
Woo-hyun said, finally raising his head and looking at Yoo-hwa. Although it was something meaningless despite calling her affectionately, Yoo-hwa could not move easily. Knowing that it was her turn to answer, Yoo-hwa waited. Her throat was dry, and she felt thirsty.
“You don’t?”
Woo-hyun asked again, innocently.
He was friendly, like someone who had forgotten that she had told him two days ago not to pay her any attention.
“… Yeah.”
Yoo-hwa replied in a low voice. Woo-hyun said, “That’s a pity.”, and turned his gaze back to the cup ramyeon. As if kimchi was really his purpose.
Why was he eating cup ramyeon outside, on this cold day? Besides her, there is no one else who walks around. She wondered if he was eating to show it to her, but that didn’t make sense.
She stayed most of the lunchtime inside the grandma’s house. It was rare for her to come out at this time like today.
Instead of delving into the question, Yoo-hwa chose to forget it. Her eyes turned to her house again. She had to do the housework quickly before the grandma woke up, and then go back again. She had to take care of the grandma’s lunch, as she hadn’t eaten yet.
“Yoo-hwa.”
The voice that came to her mind made her heart sting.
***
Ten minutes before the old lady arrived, Yoo-hwa returned home. Normally, she would eat dinner or stay at home and stare blankly out the narrow window, but today, she came out wearing her coat. She had run out of food. If she had any rice left, she would have boiled some porridge and tried to bear with it for a few days, but there was none.
Pulling down on her hat, Yoo-hwa bowed her head and went down the narrow road. The shallow descent was not maintained, so it was all bumpy.
The only streetlamp in the middle of the road was broken and it had been dark for a long time, and when the cold wind blew, there was a smell of garbage coming from here and there.
After walking one bus stop away to the mart, Yoo-hwa quickly put the things she had in mind inside the basket. It was unexpected that the steps that were walking towards the cashier stopped.
“Do you have kimchi?”
Why did that question suddenly pop up in her mind?
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“Yoo-hwa.”Why did she keep remembering that all day long…
Yoo-hwa bit her lip firmly. Her hands trembled. Right now, she was in a situation where she was short of money. The 100,000 won per month she received from the old lady was not enough to cover the monthly rent, and she was using up all the money she had. But why was she standing there like this?
After thinking for a while, Yoo-hwa turned her head and headed towards the cash register.
“Do you have kimchi?”
Once again, Yoo-hwa tried to ignore the sound that she suddenly heard, followed by her name.
***
“Come out! Come out! You can’t take someone else’s money! You can’t, you bitch!”
Unlike usual, where all she could hear were cat noises, the multi-unit house was noisy. Yoo-hwa’s steps stopped suddenly at the familiar shouts. Without realizing it, her shoulders bent inwards. The cold wind made her fingertips get even colder as she picked up the bag. She grabbed the bag strap she had almost dropped even tighter.
“You bitch! You bitch!”
The old lady’s shouts echoed through the whole neighborhood. Yoo-hwa turned around, feeling the urge to run away, and stopped.
She had nowhere to go.
The world was so wide that there were many more places that her feet could not reach even if she walked all her life, but she was saddened by the fact that there was no other place that welcomed her.
Yoo-hwa bit her lip. It was one of Yoo-hwa’s habits that came out whenever she suppressed her rushing emotions. As she slowly went inside, as expected, the old lady was sitting in front of her closed door and screaming.
It seemed that she had been screaming for a long time; her hair was messy, and a broken soju bottle was lying in front of her. It looked like she had been drinking again.
When she was drunk, the old lady occasionally came to her and made a scene. She didn’t know why her target had changed to her instead of the grandma, but she couldn’t report it.
For some reason, the police station had their doors locked for more time than they had them opened, and even if she met a police officer, they would not settle it.
It was a zone completely outside the law.
That was where she was, and that was her life.
“What’s wrong?”
Yoo-hwa stood in front of her and asked. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t hide her trembling voice.
Then, even in the darkness, she could see the old lady’s face, which had turned red. She cried not because of sadness, but because of anger and cold.
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