Chapter 13: Chapter 13

The day after our walk to Atlas, I was not myself in the morning.

Or rather, it started at night because I couldn't get a wink of sleep.

My mind was filled with the dilemma that had been nagging at me for the past few days.

Yesterday, Blake unexpectedly asked me to be his dance partner, and all I could get out of my mouth was a promise to think about it for a few days.

After all, I was supposed to give both Phil and Blake an answer tomorrow.

But how could I do that when I still haven't made up my mind...?

I almost felt sympathy for both of them, and therefore I was afraid that if I made a choice in someone's favor, the second person would inevitably be disappointed in me.

And this was despite the fact that it was already difficult for me to find friends in this place.

All these complicated thoughts were running through my head incessantly from the very morning, and therefore everything that was happening around me was perceived only as noise in the background.

At the request of the teacher, I had to deliver the test papers to his office, and for this purpose, I walked along the corridor.

Since it was Sunday, the academy was highly deserted, as most of them had either gone to the city or were resting in the dorm.

I got caught in the professor's "hot hand" with his assignment when I was wandering around the building, because it seemed simply unbearable to sit in one place in my position.

I was hoping that the answer would come to me if I cleared my head a little.

However, this never happened, and I still had to solve this problem until tomorrow morning.

While I was carrying a pile of heavy papers, heading to the right place, I didn't immediately notice someone standing in front of me.

In the end, I almost bumped into him until a familiar voice snapped me out of my mental trance:

"Good afternoon, Lady Leriana."

Above the papers, I saw bright blue eyes, and immediately recognized Phil.

"Oh... Hi, Phil," I smiled.

"Are you all right? I've already called out to you several times, but you didn't hear me."

"I'm just a little distracted today."

"That's how it is... Did something happen to you?"

"It's nothing serious," I said, "just a few thoughts running through my head, that's all... Are you coming from somewhere?"

"I had extra classes," the young man explained with a smile. "Here, I go, and I see you. Why are you here? It's a day off."

"The teacher asked me to bring this to his office."

"In that case, since we're meeting, I should help you," Phil winked and took the entire stack out of my hands, even though I was hesitant.

"It's not worth it... I can handle it myself..."

"Don't worry. For me, this is not difficult at all. Besides, I'm always happy to help a lady."

In the end, we were walking together now, and I felt even more awkward.

If Phil had known what a burden he was putting on me with his request, he would have felt guilty. Although it's just me, I still couldn't decide on a solution.

"How are you doing?"

"Oh, that's great... And you?"

"I can say that the same thing. However, I'm a little tired because of my studies, and... Some other things to do."

"Some other things?"

"Preparation for the banquet," the young man explained, embarrassed, "There is not much time left, and you need to have time to prepare everything so that the holiday goes as it should."

"Oh, that's right..."

I nodded, even though I wasn't sure why an ordinary student like Phil was doing all this. After all, as far as I knew, the organization of the banquet should have been handled by the academy administration, not the students. Maybe the young man was preparing some special performance on it...?

"You seem very busy," I said, "and I don't want to take up much of your time."

By that time, we had already reached the right office, and I thanked him again for his help and took the papers from Phil.

"It's a pleasure to spend time in the company of such a lovely lady," he smiled.

"For me, then, with such a fine gentleman."

We both laughed, and Phil, as if he'd been waiting to ask the question, asked, "What's the matter?":

"And your promise to think about it... Is it still valid?

Naturally, I immediately understood what he meant.

"H-sure, I'll answer you there tomorrow, just like I promised..."

"In that case, I'll look forward to it," the young man smiled broadly, and after saying goodbye, left me with mixed feelings.

---

In the evening, I found Rachel in the library as usual, and without a word, I sat down next to her and put my head on the table.

The girl, as on the other day, did not pay attention to me, although she looked askance, because today I did not even say hello to her.

We sat in complete silence, with only the occasional heavy sigh escaping my mouth.

"Ehh..."

I sighed, remembering all the difficulties of my life, not caring that the atmosphere around me was getting more tense every time.

In the end, Rachel couldn't take it anymore.

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"I'll shut you up if you do that again."

Knowing her, it was definitely not an empty threat.

I stopped talking, but I sat and stared at her with such a pained expression on my face that after a while, the girl had to put the book down again.

"You're weird today."

"Hmm?"

"When you come here, you usually don't stop talking for a second. It was infuriating, but your silence is even more annoying."

"That's because I'm exhausted today."

"Hmm... I can see that."

That short answer was enough for her, and Rachel went back to reading. However, I felt the need to vent my soul, and continued:

"Actually, I have a big problem..."

Rachel scowled at me, telling me that she didn't want to hear about my business at all. But I calmly continued my story:

"...Two friends of mine have invited me to be their partner at a banquet, and I do not know what to say to them."

"Is that all?" Rachel sniffed disdainfully.

"What's wrong?"

"Your problem is nothing... That's what I'm talking about, though. People like you will always find something to worry about."

"People like 'me'?" I frowned, assuming beforehand that there was nothing good behind that designation.

"Those who study here have never known the real problems," the girl said, "or rather, you think you do. But in reality, compared to what is happening in the real world, this is nothing."

I was indignant.

Of course, Rachel might be right, and my dilemma about the school holiday really wasn't worth all this attention, but right now, it had an important place in my life. After all, it depended on whether I could maintain good relations with my friends without offending anyone.

"Maybe my problems aren't that big," I said, "but that doesn't mean you can just discount them! It's not up to you to decide why I should worry and why I shouldn't."

Rachel sighed.

"As you wish..."

Apparently, she had no desire to change my mind, and she simply accepted my point of view. Although, the skeptical expression on her face at this moment, and without that, clearly said everything.

There was silence in the library again for a while, and I thought about the situation in my head, and this time it was I who spoke first:

"So? What do you think?"

"..."

Rachel glared at me, clearly annoyed that I'd opened my mouth again.

"What should I do?" I asked.

"How should I know? This is your problem; you can handle it yourself."

She said it as she cut it off.

But I wasn't going to give up because it finally dawned on me that I needed help with this issue, even from someone as unexpected as Rachel.

"But I can't do it on my own!" I exclaimed, "And the answer must be given tomorrow... Please, Rachel...!"

Eventually, after I'd spent five minutes shooting puppy eyes at her, Rachel gave up and asked, "What do you want?"

"Tell me which one of them I should go with! Phil asked me out a few days ago, and Blake only asked me out yesterday. But they're both very nice, and I don't want to offend anyone by saying no."

"So you need a reason to say no?" the girl asked in understanding.

"Well, you could say that..."

"It's as simple as that. Say you don't want to."

Coming from her, it sounded like a clear truth, and no doubt Rachel herself would have done just that. But I couldn't find an answer like that for my situation.

"I can't do that," I sighed.

"And why is that?"

"If I say that, won't they think I'm not interested in their company?"

"But it's true," Rachel said, as if she knew better than I did, "or you wouldn't be spoiling my evening with such silly questions. You just don't like any of them."

"Th-that's not true!" I said, "I like them as friends, but I've never imagined them as a couple... I don't want any misunderstandings between us."

Rachel sighed angrily.

"Then what do you want from me? If you can't say no outright, make sure you don't have a choice."

I thought about her words, because I found some grain of truth in them.

And just a couple of seconds later, a brilliant idea flashed through my head.

"I get it!" I exclaimed, jumping up from my chair with a triumphant air.

Rachel looked at me like she was distraught when I suddenly started screaming in the library, but I didn't care.

Suddenly, everything in my head fell into place. Why didn't I think of that before...?!

"I'll just say that you proposed to me first!"

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