Chapter 112: Chapter 100: Irreversible

I didn’t sleep well that night. Nightmares of Shi Island tangled with realities of my previous world. Zombies in elevators. Stacking boxes and taking inventory of Jazz’s crated goods while she issued commands, except the stab wounds she’d sustained against the Defiled were present and bleeding. Stuck alone on Portia’s sloop in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by half a dozen circling sharks.

Flashes of my dreams followed me into the next morning, flickering in a gruesome reel as I poked at my breakfast.

“Matt?” Keke called, gently touching my shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“Mm,” I hummed.

“Hey. Talk to me.” Her fingers wandered to my cheek. 

I flinched, and she pulled back. 

“Oh. Um,” Keke murmured as she leaned back in her chair. “You can go. I mean, if you need to be alone.”

Tension drained from my shoulders, and I shook my head. The way I was feeling wasn’t her fault. “No, I’m sorry. Just a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?”

Like these damn quests. But she’d told me before that this was part of my job and had been nothing but supportive. At this point, I was beating a dead horse. This was what I wanted, wasn’t it? A world filled with catgirls at my fingertips to do with as I pleased? So why did I feel like absolute shit about the prospect of sleeping with eight more? Ni was my island, and it was my job to make sure it stayed populated.

And yet, the fact that members of my Party were off-limits at the moment frustrated the ever-living hell out of me. The girls I really cared about; the ones I loved.

Keke carefully placed her spoon back in her bowl. “You’ve gone quiet again.”

I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck. Pick yourself up, Kelmer. You’re bringing the group down. “It’s nothing. Just didn’t sleep well, that’s all.” I forced a smile. “Why don’t we grab Ceres and Cannoli and go for a walk? Show Ceres around a little more?”

She tried to return my smile, but worry twisted one corner of her mouth. “Sure. That sounds good.”

Abandoning my sad attempt at eating, I washed my face and threw on my shoes. Some fresh air could only do me good by that point. Needed to get these thoughts the hell out of my head.

As it turned out, Cannoli and Ceres were in her front yard. Ceres cradled a hunk of wood in one hand while chipping at it with a small knife with the other. Her tongue poked into her cheek, and her eyes were fixed on her project. As we approached, I could make out a long pair of ears and a soft, oval face.

Cannoli’s ears twitched, and she looked up at the sound of our footsteps. Waving us over with a grin, she shouted, “Good morning, Matt! Good morning, Keke!”

I raised one hand in reply, and Keke reiterated the greeting.

“Are you carving a rabbit?” I asked.

“She is!” Cannoli replied brightly.

“My Lord knows of the fabled rabbits, then?” Ceres murmured. “I should have expected as much.”

Then they aren’t really here. “Fabled, huh?”

Keke nodded. “We have a lot of toys and carvings that resemble rabbits. But they’re usually influenced by the men who come here.” She shifted from one foot to the other. “I, erm, I have a stuffed one.”

“His name is Baby!” Cannoli provided cheerfully. “She’s had him forever.”

Keke blushed. “Yeah. My dad gave him to me.”

Well, that’s adorable. For the first time that day, a natural smile curled my lips. “You’ll have to show him to me sometime.” Seeing that Keke very obviously wanted to change the subject, I pressed on. “What do you know about rabbits?”

“They’re amazing! They can talk and dance and sing! They harness the power of lightning to run really fast. But if you catch one, you can have a wish granted to you!” Cannoli chanted.

“Yeah, I’ve never caught one myself,” I replied. I will not destroy her dreams on this one. “Better make it a good wish.”

Ceres slowly nodded as she carved out the figure’s tiny feet. “There are a few types of Encroacher that look similar to rabbits, but they do not fit Cannoli’s apt description otherwise.”

Cannoli beamed.

“They come in a lot of different colors. White, brown, black, pink, green. Like a rainbow,” Keke added.

I would love to see a green rabbit. “Maybe we’ll find one in Nyarlothep,” I suggested. “Make sure you have your wish ready.”

“Oh, always! Just in case!” Cannoli replied.

“Good. I wouldn’t—” I began.

A familiar tinkling carried on the breeze reached my ears, and I froze. I felt the color drain from my face and the feeling vanish from my fingers.

“Matt?” Cannoli asked. Her chin tilted upward, and her ears rotated toward the sound.

Keke’s did the same, and her eyes searched the thicket.

The ringing grew louder, and a dark outline appeared between the trees. My hands clenched into fists, and I took a step backward. Pain flared in a ring around the cartilage of my ear, and I blinked it back. No. She wouldn’t.

“It can’t be,” Keke whispered, echoing my thoughts.

Ceres finally looked up from her carving and glanced at all of our faces. Pocketing the wood and carving knife in her apron, she murmured, “[Combat Mode].” Her polearm appeared and she shifted into a defensive stance. “My Lord, is it a Defiled?”

A dry laugh escaped me, and I shook my head. “No.” But I’d rather face a dozen Defiled than this.

Yomi stopped a few meters away, resting her tall staff on the grass and raising one empty hand. “I-I didn’t come to fight.”

With one glance exchanged over the span of a heartbeat, Keke and Cannoli repositioned themselves in front of me, their shoulders touching.

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“What are you doing here, Yomi?” Keke growled.

Yomi slid her hand beneath her distended belly and lowered her eyes to the ground.

Two months it had been. And still, the ringing of the chimes dangling from her staff summoned the memory of the night she’d hypnotized me in perfect clarity. Her hips straddling mine, her face, the runic tattoo circling her navel. I shivered and summoned my axe to my hand. There was no way I could hurt her, not when she was carrying my kid, but I wasn’t about to allow her to harm my girls, either.

“I’d like to talk to Matt,” Yomi replied, unable to meet the furious gazes of Keke or Cannoli. “Please.”

“I know not who you are, nor your connection with my Lord. However, your presence is clearly disturbing to my comrades. Leave, or else we will be forced to take action,” Ceres snarled, lowering her polearm so that the tip pointed at Yomi.

Yomi inhaled a deep, shuddering breath, then peered between the girls’ shoulders and locked my gaze. “Matt, I’m sorry.”

I didn’t know what to say. My feet were rooted to the spot, and my emotions waged a gruesome war for my tongue. You can’t just take it back.

Yomi chanced a step forward. “Truly, I never should have forced your hand.”

“No. You shouldn’t have,” I murmured.

“My Lord?” Ceres glanced over her shoulder. “What are your orders?”

My mouth went dry, and the piercing in my ear throbbed and ached. What do we do?

“What. The fuck. Are you doing here?” a familiar, enraged voice shrieked through the trees. Ravyn stormed across the clearing, snatching the front of Yomi’s dress and dragging her forward so their noses were mere inches from each other. “Are you fucking stupid?”

“R-Ravyn. I– I just—” Yomi stammered.

“‘You just’ what? Thought you could come here and beg for forgiveness?” Ravyn snapped. “Ran away from Cailu before he could put you to death?”

“Cailu the cunt! Cailu the cunt! Squaawk!” Ball screamed as he orbited above us.

Death? The thought turned my blood ice-cold. Ravyn had been the first one to hear about Yomi, and she hadn’t said anything about a potential death sentence.

“You don’t understand! I didn’t have a choice!” Yomi cried.

Ravyn shoved Yomi backward. The [Dark Priest] stumbled back a few steps, then used her staff to prevent her fall. My first instinct was to help her—it seemed Keke knew as much because she caught my stare and shook her head.

“You always have a fucking choice,” Ravyn growled. “You chose wrong, Yomi.” She gestured to our group, pointing to each one of the girls protecting me. “If you show your disgusting face ever again, we have plenty of options to make sure that you can’t.”

Yomi frowned and turned toward me again. “Matt, I’m sorry.”

“You heard Ravyn. Get lost,” Keke barked, summoning her bow and drawing an arrow back. “I won’t warn you again.”

“...I understand,” Yomi replied. She drew a wide circle in the air with her fingertip, murmuring an incantation I didn’t understand. A dark oval appeared with black and violet tendrils drifting from its edges. “Good luck.” Without another word, she stepped through the portal and vanished.

We all stood in rigid, uncomfortable silence for a few tense moments. As if Yomi would once again appear from thin air and try to take us all on. Of course, nothing like that happened, and the girls slowly dropped their weapons. My axe disappeared, and I stole one deep breath, then another. 

“Matt, are you alright?” Cannoli was the first to ask, keeping a careful distance between us.

“I need a minute,” I admitted. “Think I can meet you inside?”

“Of course. I’ll put on some tea. Keke, Ceres, will you help me?”

“My Lord, who was—” Ceres began.

Cannoli didn’t give her a chance; she hooked her arm with Ceres’ and tugged her toward the house. “We can talk about it more inside.”

Ceres nodded, and the three made their way to Cannoli’s front door.

Ravyn stared at the place where Yomi had drawn her portal, violet eyes still burning with rage while her hands clenched and unclenched. Despite my feet feeling as if they’d fallen asleep, I forced my legs forward and closed the distance between us.

There was so much I wanted to say to her. I wanted to know if she was okay from the other night. If I’d done something to upset her. Instead, I numbly asked, “Cailu would have killed her if he knew?”

Ravyn looked at me but made no attempt to speak. Her lips pulled into a thin line while her eyes lowered to her shoes.

“Ravyn.”

“Yes. He would have killed her,” Ravyn replied sharply. “He may still, depending on what you tell him. An offense like that against a man is unforgivable.”

“But you told me to let it go,” I replied. “You said to celebrate having my cherry popped and let her be.”

She locked my stare, defiance glittering in her gaze. “And if you knew then that you held that power over her, would you have had her killed?” Her eyebrows furrowed, and she clenched her teeth. “Would you have hunted down Cailu so he could burn her at the fucking stake? I didn’t think you were that kind of person, boy.”

“If you honestly don’t think I’m that kind of person, then maybe you could have trusted me with that information,” I snarled. “Don’t withhold shit like that from me.”

We both glowered at one another in silence, neither knowing what the hell to say. Yomi’s sudden appearance had rocked the already turbulent emotions I was trying to get a handle on. Ravyn’s unbridled anger and distrust were a whole second beast. I couldn’t think of a single word I could say to her that I wouldn’t want to take back later.

“I’m going inside. You’re free to join if you want,” I said, turning on my heel. I could only handle one thing at a time.

Ravyn grunted and followed close behind me. Together, we entered Cannoli’s house in silence.