Chapter 14: Chapter 14: Roundabout

“Oh yeah, that’s right.”

Scrolling through the iPaw, I realized that I’d been so caught up with the alchemy misadventures that I’d neglected to distribute my points. They sat there on my screen, taunting me, and still, I was unsure. Though it was somewhat tedious, there was a therapeutic factor to the alchemy test. At least my life wasn’t on the line when gathering. Well, for now, at least.

“You okay?” Cannoli looked up at me with her big bright eyes. Goddamn, she was cute.

“Yeah,” I lied. “Just wondering where I want to put my Stats.”

“You just need to get stronger, right?” said the lounging Keke. She’d taken up the entire couch, tossing a rubber ball into the air. Did they have sports after all? For a moment, she stopped, then turned her head toward me. “Which also means we need better gear.”

“Don’t worry, got you covered,” I said as I tossed my dumb aviator hat onto the floor. “A whole point of defense right there.”

Cannoli snorted and clapped a hand to her mouth.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. I said I was sorry, yeesh.” Keke waved her hand as if batting my words right out of the air. “Okay, tell you what.” Tossing the ball to the side, Keke sat up and crossed her legs. Damn, did she have fine legs. “Let’s go hunt some smaller roaches in the woods. I wanna make up for last time.” Keke continued to talk, but I was a bit fixated on how she periodically shifted her legs, crossing one over the other.

“Are you listening?” Keke asked.

I shook the reverie away from my head. “Yeah, of course!”

“I wonder.” Keke smiled knowingly, shifting her legs once again.

Cannoli moved between us and looked me straight in the eye. “You’d best pay attention, or you’ll get another arrow in the shoulder.” There was a strange, playful venom in her tone as her gaze shifted to Keke for a moment.

I cleared my throat. “Fine. Sorry. So we’re hunting again. Tomorrow then?”

“No. Now,” Keke corrected. “Pay attention.”

“Now,” I repeated.

“Yes.”

“Is that a good idea?” Running into more minotaurs in the middle of the night when Keke was probably the only one with decent vision wasn’t exactly my idea of a night out on the town. “Maybe you can see, but Cannoli and I can’t.”

“Excuse me! I can light up the forest just fine!” Cannoli pouted.

“And draw every roach straight to us,” I murmured.

She gaped. “That’s not true!”

Keke calmly watched as we bickered, and I laid my hand on top of Cannoli’s head. She squeaked and dove away. Maybe it was time I gave Keke the lead on a roach run.

“Trust me.” Keke smiled. “I’ve got a plan.”

“Alright, fine,” I relented and looked back to the iPaw. “Let me spend my points first.”

“Make good choices.”

Easy for Keke to say. My strength was piss poor, but it was enough to do the job. Despite that, I still found myself near death during both of our fights. Considering that, maybe it was best to strike a balance between offense and defense. Going too deep in either direction could put me in a bad spot later on.

With iPaw in hand, I navigated to the stat distribution screen. I tapped at the side of the screen for a few moments. “Alright. I know what I’m going to do.”

“We believe in you!” said the beaming Cannoli.

I smiled back and tapped my finger on the [Vitality] option.

INCREASE [VITALITY] BY 1?

[YES] [NO]

There was still a moment of hesitation in my selection, but I knew I’d made my choice the night after the minotaurs. I just hadn’t been honest with myself. I tapped my finger to [YES] and immediately felt the effects. My muscles tensed, and my lungs filled with air. I wondered if that’s how an inhaler felt. I rolled my shoulders and reveled in the newfound energy within them.

“Huh. That feels... funny,” I chuckled.

“Feel lighter?” asked Keke.

“Now that you mention it.” I curled my free arm a few times. It felt lighter, nimbler. As if I had just finished a few reps of weight lifting. Even my pecs felt stronger, tougher.

Looking back at the iPaw, I could now see the effects that [Vitality] had on me. 

[Health Points] +2!
[Defense] +2!
[???] +1!

The Health and Defense made sense, but what was this [???] Stat? What sort of system sits there and hides information from the user? I breathed an audible sigh.

“What’s wrong?” asked Keke.

“I threw my point into [Vitality].”

“A wise choice.”

“But now there’s an unknown stat that just popped up, and I have no idea what it is.”

“I guess we do need to expand your Knowledge a bit, don’t we?” Keke pinched her chin in thought, resting her elbow on one leg.

But my Knowledge just went up. What the hell? “What do you mean by that?”

“You can’t get the whole story without knowing what things do,” said Cannoli. “Kind of like giving a kitten milk.” 

Ah, the milk analogy. Guess I should’ve seen that coming. 

“You’ve been told milk is good for kittens, but do you know why? If you don’t, how can you possibly agree with it if you don’t have the facts?” Cannoli explained.

Keke laughed. “Trial and error, Matt.” She unfolded one of her arms and held up her pointer finger in the same way a teacher might do in front of a blackboard. “You know your [Health Points] and [Defense] went up because you can feel its effects on you. It doesn’t need further proof—you’re already experiencing it. For changes you don’t immediately experience, there’s no way of knowing what or how it went up.”

Experience? “So, how do I find out then?”

“The same way anyone finds out! Research! Gotta go read or ask around town, those sorts of things. You might also learn through practice.”

So [Knowledge] really is power. Why do I get the feeling that practice is how I’m going to find out? But maybe... “Then, could I find out from a library?”

“You could, if we had one,” Cannoli chimed in, brushing her tail with her fingertips. It was strangely hypnotic. “They’re expensive, and only high-ranking officials can see such noteworthy books.”

“Then the only place that would have a library is—”

“Nyarlothep,” Keke completed my thought. “That’s right.”

Of course. Nothing is easy. Oh well, it’s worth it for these two. “Alright.”

With my attention back on the iPaw, I made my way over to the next order of business—my Skill Tree. This one was a bit easier. There was no way in hell I was about to put more of my life on the line with such a suicidal skill like [Adrenaline Rush], and [Increase Attack] felt a little too linear for a world like this where the rules seemed to constantly change.

So with that in mind, I selected [Axe Mastery].

Unlike the point I spent on [Vitality], I felt nothing from the added point to [Axe Mastery]. Well, I suppose I wouldn’t know the effects of it until I was actually swinging my axe.

“Alright, Keke. Let’s hear this plan of yours.”

---

To my surprise, we didn’t end up deep in the forest or on the coast. Not in a dungeon and certainly not back with the cattails. No, we nestled ourselves between a pair of trees a few yards away from the sounds of a gentle stream.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t have brought my fishing gear?” I asked.

“Shh, yes, I’m sure!” Keke whispered with a finger to her lips. “Quiet. Be patient.”

She said that, but it had been almost an hour. I was starting to get into that weird groove where it was getting late enough to sleep, and I was hungry. Normally this was the time where I’d juggle whether I should eat something and risk having a stomach ache the next morning or just deal with it and go to bed.

For all the experience Keke seemed to have, I started to wonder if most of it was made up on the spot or hearsay from another villager. Although I say that, but I guess she and Cannoli did know what to do when it came to my alchemy exam. So what right did I have to tell them this was a waste of time?

“Keke!” Cannoli pointed ahead in a hush.

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“Perfect.” Keke grinned. “Stay here for a second.”

“What are you doing?” I whispered.

“Just stay put and trust me.” Keke moved around the tree to our left and snaked through the patches of grass until she stood a few feet ahead of us.

Now that I noticed it, Cannoli was very close to me. There was a gentle whiff of something sweet in the air. Perfume perhaps? Did catgirls use perfume?

Oh, who am I kidding? Of course they do.

Cannoli’s lithe frame bumped up against mine, her shoulders rubbing up against my bicep. Not once did she look at me, but I spent the entire time looking at her intense eyes, the structure of her face, how she coiled a strand of hair around her finger. My eyes wandered. Wandered to her shoulders, to her bust, the shape of her waist.

Focus, Matt!

I shook my head and was greeted with another pleasant sight. Keke had leaned forward, probably to get a closer look at whatever we were hunting. And I leaned forward to get a closer look at Keke. What a sight to behold. I watched as her tail waved from side to side. It felt like an invitation. Was I sure that these girls weren’t teasing me? How the hell was a man supposed to think when surrounded by this?

“Matt.”

I shut my eyes. It’s okay. Just keep your attention on the task at hand.

“Matt.” 

A nudge woke me from my daze. “Hmm?”

“Let’s get closer,” whispered Cannoli.

“Ah, right.”

Following the same route Keke had, Cannoli and I twisted around the tree. Cannoli moved to Keke’s side while I brought up the rear.

“What is it we’re looking for again?” I asked.

“Catfish,” Keke said confidently. 

I didn’t understand. The stream was shallow. Much too shallow for the average catfish. I mean, unless we were planning on catching guppies. Besides...“I thought you said we weren’t Fishing,” I hissed.

“We’re not.”

“Then how are you sure we’re going to find any?”

“I can smell them around here. Just wait. I’ve tossed some bait out.”

Keke pointed, and I craned my head to see. Right by the water’s edge was a small piece of meat. From where I was positioned it looked like a slab of sirloin. Felt like a real waste of food.

Just as I was about to voice my complaints, there came a rustling in the bushes somewhere to our right. Keke motioned for us to get down, and we obeyed.

‘Confusion’ was not the word I would use to describe what I felt when I saw what lurched out of the bushes. It was the stuff of nightmares. It wasn’t quite a cat, nor was it a fish.

“This is the most literal interpretation I’ve ever seen of a catfish.” It was meant to be a mumble, but it came a little louder than I intended.

Keke looked at me aghast. I shrank even lower at her glare, but just enough so that I could see the monstrosity before me. 

Mother of God, what the fuck is that?

It looked as though someone took a fish and gave it the anatomy of a cat, leaving all of its slippery, leathery-looking skin intact. It walked like a cat. Its legs were bent inward like a cat’s. So, why did it look like it had flippers for feet? And then there was the matter of its head. It was definitely the head of a fish—covered in slick scales with long tendrils of whiskers and soulless, beady eyes on opposite sides. The mouth gulped at the air and mucous-strangled grunts rasped from its throat.

The, uh, catfish ambled over and sniffed at the piece of meat cautiously. Its head snapped around in search of predators, like one of those singing bass toys. I would not want one of those on my wall. I flinched, but I’m proud to say that I maintained my composure despite the unholy abomination—

Oh my God, why is it standing on its hind legs?

Suddenly it scarfed up the piece of meat, knocking its head back and swallowing it whole like some goddamned kaiju lizard. Keke did a silent arm pump. The beast continued to sniff at the air, but something seemed off. It was stumbling, rubbing at its eyes with its front… paws? Fins?

Clever girl.

“[Pinpoint Weakness],” muttered Keke. Nocking an arrow, she rose and held her bow just high enough so that it would clear the bush. “Get ready.”

Cannoli had already done her magical girl transformation before we began, and she held her scepter close to her chest. I readied the axe in my hand and was pleasantly surprised that it didn’t feel quite as heavy as it did before. I mean, yeah, it still weighed a ton. But I could already tell it wouldn’t take as much effort as it did before to swing the thing. Nice.

“Now!” Keke let loose her arrow into the wretched thing’s neck, and a splash of dark blood spilled out from the wound.

I charged in with my axe held in front of me, stopping an arm’s length away from it and yelling, “[Provoke]!” I felt the beast’s fury upon me and dug my heels into the ground, ready to go toe to fin with the catfish.

The beast came down on all fours and made a lunging strike for me. With nothing but my instincts to follow, I stepped to the side and swung my axe as hard as I could. The blade met with the catfish’s skin, and a gurgling scream erupted from its gaping maw. I’d realized too late that the axe was stuck in its neck, and the catfish was none too pleased.

Wrestling the axe free was not going to happen. Instead, it continued to scream, and I held on for dear life as it shook me around by the hilt. Try as I might, the roach’s slippery hide did a great job of preventing me from mounting it like I did the minotaur.

“C’mon, you bastard! Let’s go!” I bellowed.

“Close your eyes!” cried Cannoli.

Oh, this is going to be fun.

I did as she said, and through my shut eyelids, I caught the brief flash of white covering the area. The catfish continued throttling me around like a rag doll. As I opened my eyes, my grip loosened. The catfish threw me off at last. I rolled away, barreling into Cannoli’s legs. The two of us tripped and tumbled over each other until I landed on top of her.

“Are you okay?” I breathed.

“Y-y-yes!” Cannoli’s face turned bright red, her arms and scepter held close to her chest.

The sound of arrows continued to whisper through my ears. I turned around to see the catfish swatting the air in Keke’s direction, her nimble steps just a hair away from getting clipped.

“[Provoke]!” I screamed as I clambered to my feet toward the catfish. “He’s got my axe!”

“It’s okay! The poison should be taking effect now!” Keke said as she narrowly dodged another swipe.

Since when has Keke had poison? Where was that on the minotaurs?

The roach’s movements were slowing, its swings becoming less and less effective. It lurched toward me on two feet with sluggish steps, stumbling awkwardly over the stream. Sidestepping it was far easier than before, and I did so as it made its last attempt on me. Pivoting to the left, I took hold of the axe and kicked the catfish in the side, knocking it over. At last, the blade came free.

Damn, this bastard’s skin is tough.

I swung my axe with all my might. One strike, two strikes, three. With each impact, the roach’s energy faded. Blood spattered all over my hands and chest. Exhausted, I backed away and parked my ass on the streamside, my lungs desperate for air.

“We did it,” I breathed.

“And you’re still conscious!” Cannoli clapped her hands.

I frowned. “Yeup.”

Keke helped Cannoli to the corpse of the beast. The two girls waved their hands through the air in front of their noses.

“Stinky,” complained Cannoli.

“At least it’ll fetch some Bells.” Keke approached the corpse with a carving knife and set to work on dismantling the creature. I watched as she slid it through the flesh, separating the layers of the beast in a cool, methodical manner. After some time, a smile crept to her face.

“We got it!” Between her pointer and thumb fingers was a small orb, perfectly rounded and little more than the size of a fingernail. What caught my attention, though, was how shiny it was.

I frowned, and a cynical thought crossed my mind. “That better not be pyrite.”

New Notifications!

Matt has gained: 20 XP
Keke has gained: 20 XP
Cannoli has gained: 20 XP
Matt has gained: Silver Whisker x2!