Chapter 171: Chapter 149: Accuse Me Thus: That I Have Scanted All

Our final stop was at another oasis. I’d barely dismounted the gigashank when I spotted Zahra diving into the deep spring shaded beneath the tall pawm trees.

“I can’t blame her. For her to ride for so long covered in shark blood and spit is pretty incredible,” Keke said as I helped her down.

“Yeah. I think I’d be doing the same,” I admitted.

“Hey, Matt!” Tristan waved me down, meeting us as I passed the gigashank to Agni.

“What’s up?”

He wiped the sweat from his forehead and smiled. “Want to take watch together tonight?”

I shrugged. It’d be good to catch up with him anyway. “Yeah, sure.”

“Great! I’ll let Destiny know.” He turned and kicked up the sand in his tracks.

A light punch connected with my shoulder. “Baka. I better not find you two with your tongues tied when we switch,” Ravyn grumbled as she passed, flicking the gathered sand away from her tail.

Keke squinted at her back, then looked at me. “What does she mean by that?”

“Erm.” I shifted my weight to the other foot, rubbing the back of my neck. “Nothing. She’s just being silly.”

With a wry smile, Keke elbowed me lightly in the side. “Did you and Cannoli get cozy by the fire?”

Heat rushed to my face, and I chuckled nervously. “Something like that.”

“I’m glad.” Keke nodded, her half-smile descending into a more serious expression. “She needs you, Matt.” Her gaze flickered to Ravyn, then returned to my face. “We all do.”

“Yeah. I’m trying to be better about that.” My blush deepened, and I found it hard to meet her stare.

“I know.” Keke kissed my cheek. “Take your time.”

A loud splash interrupted our conversation, followed by Zahra laughing in the distance. “The water feels great!”

“Kuso! You’ve had your swim! Now quit polluting it with shark guts!” Ravyn snapped. “Some of us need a damn drink!”

“There’s plenty to go around.” Zahra relaxed on her back, floating across the surface. “But maybe you should come collect your portion sooner than later.”

Ravyn hissed, withdrawing her canteen from her pack before rushing to the edge of the pond.

“We’d better help Agni pitch the tent,” I said, laughing beneath my breath.

“What about them?” Keke nodded toward the quarreling Zahra and Ravyn.

I pointed at the cackling Zahra. “That girl just sliced her way out of a shark. I think she can handle herself.”

---

Fed and somewhat bathed, Tristan and I took first watch after seeing the others off to bed. We etched our seats in the sand around the campfire, summoning Desiree to join us. The cat curled comfortably in his lap, purring with satisfaction as Tristan stroked her head.

It was another still, breezeless evening. The air was made cooler by the absence of the sun, but not a whole lot. I was glad to be more accustomed to the changes, adjusting to the brutal heat of the day and the relaxing atmosphere of the evenings. It still didn’t compare to the ocean breezes and quiet evenings on Ni Island, but it wasn't so bad once a guy got used to it.

“It’s strange that Ravyn always has Ball Gag summoned,” Tristan noted, scratching Desiree behind the ears. “It has to be a drag on her Myana.”

I shrugged. “Maybe not? But I don’t know a lot about [Sorcerer].”

“I’ve read about them, but books in this world aren’t always clear about particular details of, well, anything.” He chuckled and looked to the sky. “Some days, I miss having the ability to search for whatever I want tucked away in my back pocket.”

“Yeah. If only Ai ran like Google, right?” I quipped. “Maybe Nyarlea would start making sense.”

“Honestly, I like there being some secrets for me to find. Like in a game.” Tristan rested his hands behind him, stretching his legs out front. Desiree adapted to her master’s new position, pawing at his trousers until she found a comfortable place to lay. “It’s nice not knowing everything at once.”

“That’s true. Half the fun of a game is discovery.” I picked one up one of the twigs in the fire, watching the end burn like a match.

“Absolutely. Though, man, that’s another thing I miss. Video games. I get that we’re practically living one, but it’s just not the same.”

“No. Most games gave you extra lives if you screwed up. Not so lucky here.” A sudden thought occurred to me that I’d never asked Tristan before. “Hey, what were your options besides Nyarlea?”

Tristan dropped his chin and looked at me curiously. “What do you mean?”

“You know, like, after you died. Your manager must have given you a list of options, right?”

“My what?” He laughed.

Was it all a dream? No way. “Goddess, manager, I guess they have different names depending on the circumstance.”

He shook his head. “I…I didn’t realize I’d died. I fell asleep and woke up here.” With a quick wave of his hand, he gestured to the fire. “Well, not here, but Shi Island. You know what I mean.”

I blinked. “Seriously? No courtrooms? No sexy flight attendant offering you options for worlds?”

“Well, it was a few years ago. Why don’t you tell me what happened to you? Maybe it’ll spark a memory or something.” Tristan shrugged.

I explained my waking up in purgatory, the disembodied souls wandering vast hallways filled with courtrooms. Leiana calling me from the group of newcomers before taking me to her office and detailing my rebirth options.

Tristan paused, seemingly chewing on my tale. At last, he coughed and said, “That sounds like an anime opening.”

“I know, dude. Seriously. It’s crazy. I get it.” I ran a hand through my hair. It was the first time I’d ever told anyone in Nyarlea what had happened after my death. “It sounds even more insane out loud.”

“You said you deserved a choice from your heroic death? How did you die?” Tristan asked.

I wanted to curl up and disappear. I knew the question was coming, but I didn’t want to admit it. I considered lying, but we hadn’t come this far by lying to one another. So I cradled my forehead in one hand and took a deep breath. “I was trying to bench press too much at once. Leiana thought I was fighting a metal beast to save a girl I was hitting on.”

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His eyes went wide, and he covered his mouth with one hand. “You’re joking.”

Shame burned my face and neck. “If only.” 

He stifled the laughter with his hand, but not well. Desiree jumped from his lap to the sand, staring at him with frustration at being moved again.

“Hey, don’t laugh too loud. You’ll wake the girls.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Tears appeared at the corners of his eyes. “No, that’s awesome, Matt. I would never have imagined that you–” he coughed, doing his best to mask his amusement. “–that that’s how you died.”

“That makes two of us,” I said. Let him laugh. You were a douche.

“It’s way better than me. Really.” He gasped for air and sighed. “That’s great. I wish I had a story like that.”

“If you don’t, then what happened?” I wanted to move on from my ridiculous death, but I was legitimately curious about Tristan’s background. Before he’d come to Nyarlea.

His breathing slowed, but he still wore his token smile. “I was a dumb kid.”

You’re still a kid. I didn’t want to say it out loud, though. Not like he was much younger than me, anyway. “Why do you say that?”

“My parents were…not great people, I guess. They always fought and argued. And then one day they just…didn’t come home.” Lifting Desiree back into his lap, he cuddled her close. “I was fourteen.”

“Jesus,” I murmured.

“Yeah. I had to quit school. I tried to look for a job, but you know how it is. You can’t work more than like twenty hours when you’re under sixteen. That barely pays for ramen every day, let alone rent.”

“They didn’t leave you anything?” My family wasn’t exactly picture-perfect, but I couldn’t imagine what I would have done in his situation.

“Nah. They didn’t have anything to leave me. I sold everything I owned, but it wasn’t a whole lot. It gave me an extra month, but I was sleeping on the streets before I knew it.”

I was speechless. If anyone deserved a choice for their next life, it was him.

“I know I should have found an orphanage or a foster home or something. But I thought I could do it on my own. I was sure I could. So I kept working any job that would hire me, lying about working at other places at the same time. I showered at the gym and washed my clothes in the sink.” Tristan paused. “That was stupid. I should have asked for help.”

“I don’t think it was stupid. I get it.” Asking for help was still something I was trying to get better at. It was hard when you weren’t used to it.

“Thanks. Well, a year later, I couldn’t find a job. There were so many places in my area, and they caught me working multiple shifts. After that, it got harder to pick up gigs. And then one night, I just fell asleep and…” He buried his face in Desiree’s fur and breathed deep before continuing. “And then I woke up in Venicia.”

“Shit. I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

“How could you have? It’s the first time we’re talking about it.” Echoes of Tristan’s smile returned. “Celestia’s offer of a warm bed and three meals a day was…Well, it was impossible to turn down.”

“Yeah. I can see why.” Even without his history, I would have found it hard to refuse Venicia’s previous Headmistress. Especially when the alternative was to face a hoard of monsters ready to rip me to shreds. “So, then, if Leiana had given you the same choices, would you still have picked here?”

“Hm.” He relaxed, his attention returning to the sky. “I don’t think I’d want to be a dungeon, but I feel like the fantasy realm would have been interesting. Even if, like you said, it sounded bland.” Desiree purred in his lap, and the fire crackled at his feet. “But I’m glad I wound up here. It’s a crazy, fucked up world, and every day could be the last. And still, I feel like I would pick it all over again.”

“Yeah. I think I would, too.” I nodded, holding my hands out to the fire.

We shared a comfortable silence, listening to the gurgle of the stream behind us. I broke it, feeling suddenly nostalgic. “So, what was your favorite game?”

“Oh, man. What a question.” Tristan ran a hand through his hair. “I have a soft spot for the Suikoden games.”

“The what?”

Tristan gasped. “Really? You’re missing out! Those are great games. What about Fire Emblem?”

“Heard of them. Never played them,” I admitted.

“What did you play?” He gaped, staring at me incredulously.

“Well, I liked Dark Souls,” I said sheepishly.

He waved his arms dramatically. “Everyone likes Dark Souls.” Laughing, he gestured to the fire. “If only these were save and warp points, right?”

“That’d save us a lot of time,” I agreed. “There has to be more we’ve both played. I’m sure of it. What else you got?”

We spent our remaining watch time waxing nostalgic over video games and media. It felt good to connect over something that was beginning to feel like a dream the further in time I drifted away. I hadn’t realized our shift was up until Ravyn tapped me on my shoulder.

“Thanks for not making out during watch time again,” she grumbled. Ball yawned on her shoulder.

“Yeah. Not into that.” I grimaced and glanced at Tristan. “Right, Tristan?”

Tristan flinched, his cheeks and ears turning pink. “R-Right!” He laughed nervously and shook his head. “Well, see you in the morning, guys!”

Ravyn, Agni, and I silently watched him disappear into the tent.

“Did he just—” Ravyn began, but I held up one hand to quiet her.

“Good night, Ravyn.”

She snickered, her eyes narrowing. “Sweet dreams, Matt.”

I waited a few more seconds before entering the tent. Tristan was buried beneath the blanket with Destiny, his head touching hers. Maybe I was overthinking it. I took my place next to Keke and closed my eyes.

We’ll be in Rājadhānī tomorrow.