Chapter 34: Chapter 32: For Want of a Nail

The battlefield was a mess. It took all I had not to vomit from the smell alone. In the madness of it all, you can’t think of much more than saving your own skin. Just as I felt my stomach lurching I clapped a hand to my mouth. Cannoli didn’t seem to be doing much better, and Ravyn was nowhere to be found.

“How are you faring?” Cailu asked as he approached with the head of the Defiled held in his free hand. I gasped at the sight. “Agh, damn. My apologies, friend.” Cailu reached somewhere around his back, and seconds later the head was gone. “You look like a ghost.”

“How are you okay with this?” I wasn’t sure if I was angry or just amazed, but either way, it felt inhuman to seem so natural with the current state of things.

Cailu shrugged. “I wasn’t always. You grow accustomed to it after a while,” he said with a faint smile.

“I don’t think I ever want to get used to this.”

“Master,” came the monotone voice of another. Breezing past my shoulder was Naeemah, her cool, glassy glare taking in every inch of my being. 

Unlike the stares of most girls I’d met up to this point, her stare felt weighty—as if she were trying to get a better feel for her target. The thought of her slitting my throat crossed my mind, and I felt around my neck subconsciously. 

Naeemah looked back to Cailu. “We should leave. A missive from Nyarlothep has just arrived.”

“But we’ve barely just arrived. Hand it here.” Cailu held out his hand and took a small, rolled-up scroll from Naeemah.

“I think I’m going to wait by the gate. I can’t be around this any longer,” said Cannoli. Her face was flushed and her hands were trembling. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” I said, gripping Cannoli by the arm, “don’t go far, okay? Look for Ravyn, but try not to wander on your own. Remember what Ravyn said about Shulan. Keke and I will clean up here and we’ll come find you later on.”

Keke looked up from the tiger she had been carving and gave Cannoli a reassuring nod of her head. The sullen Cannoli gestured back. I let go of her arm and watched her shuffle off in silence.

“Think she’s going to be alright?” I moved to stand beside Keke.

“Yeah. She’ll get like this from time to time. She’s gotten a lot better since we were kittens.” Keke had cut through almost a dozen tigers at this point. Even if she wasn’t affected by the smell like Cannoli and I were, she had to be tired by now.

“What about you?”

“I’m fine. Mom was our island’s best [Sniper], so I learned a lot from her.” Keke looked up with a pensive stare and her blade paused. “I don’t really smell the blood anymore.”

That’s concerning.

“Matt,” came the voice of Cailu. His blood-stained armor clinked and clanked as he marched down the hill. Of anyone here he definitely smelled the most of death. “There are matters which require my attention back in Nyarlothep. I am to leave by dawn tomorrow. May I have a word?”

I frowned. “What does that have to do with me?”

“A great deal, actually. I won’t be here for some time, so I require your assistance.”

Keke stood up. “What if he doesn’t want to? We’ve got our own things to do, too.”

Cailu shot her a glare. “Excuse me, but I’m talking to Matt. Not to you.”

“Anything you say to me you can say to her,” I spat back. 

His expression darkened and I started to second-guess my attitude. His hand twitched near the hilt of his sword and my palms began to sweat. There wasn’t a chance in hell that I could hold a candle to Cailu’s might. 

Even so, despite the very real possibility that he or any one of his girls could probably kill me in an instant, I wasn’t about to let Cailu talk to Keke like that. It was a gamble, but if men were as important as I’d come to understand, then Cailu wouldn’t lay a finger on either of us.

Cailu grunted and ran a hand through his golden-blonde hair. “Fine. Have it your way. Yomi!” Cailu waved to a distant figure and the figure waved back. “Meet us back at the inn when you’re done! I’m going to take Matt to the Guild Hall!”

“Yes, Master!” The dainty, dark-robed girl walked away toward the gates at a casual pace, the rings around her staff jingling together. 

The sound wasn’t peculiar or any more unusual than a bell or one of those dumb triangles that some people called ‘instruments,’ but it was somehow therapeutic. Like wind chimes on a porch. It felt as if the sound alone could snare my thoughts.

“Don’t listen to it too closely,” Cailu warned. “[Dark Priests] can enrapture the minds and thoughts of those who hear the ringing.”

“So, what, she’s trying to bewitch me?”

Cailu paused, looking in her direction for a brief moment. “That’s very possible. She’s been in a strange mood lately.”

Cailu’s tone put me on edge. The entire time she spent walking away, Cailu watched. Once she disappeared from sight, Cailu’s cheerful, plastic demeanor reappeared.

“I’m assuming you’ve never seen a Guild Hall,” he said, folding his arms.

“We don’t have one on Ni Island,” Keke said with a frown.

“Ahh, of course. Ni is hardly an island of repute, why would they,” Cailu chuckled. “You’re to be lauded for your efforts thus far, my friend.” He turned to his Assassin. “Naeemah, could you keep watch while I show Matt around? I’m starting to worry that something else is going on. This Defiled was much too strong for Shulan’s defenses.”

“Yes, Master.” Naeemah shot me another look before vanishing into nothingness. I’m sure there was some meaning in those eyes, but I couldn’t catch it.

Thoughts of Assassins in several other games and MMOs sprung to mind. I couldn’t imagine I’d be able to fight back any better in this world than I could in those games if she got the jump on me. “I didn’t think [Assassins] could just disappear like that.”

“Naeemah’s had a lot of practice,” Cailu said. “[Assassins] can’t typically disappear with such expertise if someone is watching.”

“Creepy,” Keke whispered.

Cailu shrugged. “Well, shall we be off?”

---

Cailu’s disappointment was written all over his face when I refused to go anywhere alone with him. Our “stroll around the town as men” was ruined as far as he saw it. I paid it little mind and noted that not only did speaking to me mean he was also speaking with Keke, but that wherever I went, she went as well. I had wanted to bring Ravyn and Cannoli along too, but both of them were absent from the gates when we returned.

I hope they’re alright.

I combated the thought with the likely scenario that Ravyn had convinced Cannoli to join her in drinks. Ravyn probably needed it after losing Maya. At the very least though, I had Keke along for the ride. 

The entire time we walked and talked, Keke’s stare stayed plastered to the arrogant elf. Every so often, Keke would grunt or scoff at one of Cailu’s off-handed comments and it just made me appreciate her all the much more.

I must say though, for making such a big deal out of the Guild Hall, Cailu sure as hell took his sweet time in getting us there. The building was built of smooth red stone and decorated with hints of black and gold. It looked a lot like many of the other buildings in the city with its pointed arches and pillars, but was significantly wider and had several balconies situated around each floor. Two black pillars plastered with quest flyers flanked the entrance with the words, “Guild Hall” written just above the door frame in gold ink.

“So, what exactly are we doing here?” I asked. “This isn’t some weird trick of yours, is it?”

“You wound me! Matt, as fellow men, we need to help each other. These girls depend on us for survival.”

Why is every little thing about this dude so… expressive? “Oh. You mean the survival of the girls you throw in front of monsters? Sorry, Encroachers. The very same?”

Cailu shook his head with a sigh. “If I can teach you anything about this world, permit me to at least let me teach you about the Guild Hall. You may do as you wish afterward.”

I’ll admit, Cailu’s punchable face aside, the Guild Hall sounded like a promising avenue. It went by a lot of different names from the games I’d played, so if it was anything like that, then this would be a useful hub to come back to once in a while. That was assuming we weren’t going back to Ni Island anyway.

I wonder why Ravyn never brought it up?

Cailu pushed open the doors in a flamboyant manner and strode in, much to the satisfaction of the girls inside. Several of them dropped whatever they were holding, their cheeks turning pink.

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This is ridiculous. “You forgot your rose petals,” I said.

Whether he didn’t hear me or was ignoring me, Cailu continued forward and approached the front desk. He leaned on his elbow and passed a charming smile. The girl behind the desk started to play with her silver hair and looked away.

“I need a favor, sweet thing,” said Cailu.

“Y-yes? Whatever do you need, sir?” the girl stammered.

“My friend here—”

“For the fifth time, I’m not your friend,” I corrected.

Cailu cleared his throat. “My friend here is new. He’s never been to a Guild Hall.” Gasps erupted around the room. “I know, I know. Absolutely unheard of. Would you be a darling and see to it that he’s assisted every so often? You see, I’m going to teach him the basics, but if you or any of the other fine ladies within this immaculate Guild Hall could continue his training,” he passed looks to each of the girls in the room, “then I would be sure to demonstrate my gratitude in the most pleasurable manner imaginable.”

The receptionist’s voice caught. Her mouth opened and closed as Cailu took a lock of her hair twirling it between two of his fingers. Soon after, she coughed and straightened her posture. “Yes, Master Cailu,” she said, gently taking back the lock of hair Cailu had stolen.

“Good girl,” Cailu growled. With that, he turned around and beckoned us in. “Come, come! There is much to learn!”

“How do you feel about this?” I whispered to Keke.

“I hate it. Damn it, I want to leave.” Keke looked down and smiled wryly. “But I’m sure he knows more about this world than all of us combined. It would be foolish not to listen to him. As much as I’m loath to admit it.”

I have my reservations about that.

Keke and I followed Cailu, passing waves and glances to the many groups of catgirls in the room, all of whom I assumed were adventurers as well by their combat garb. Their eyes widened and whispers of “another man” and other things I couldn’t hear filled the room. 

Keke frowned and intertwined her fingers in mine. She shot indignant looks at some of the girls, nudging herself closer to me. Her chest pressed up against my arm, and for a few seconds the night we spent together came back as fresh as the moment it happened.

Maybe Keke would be up to practicing again soon.

“Matt, my friend, please do me the honor of pulling out your iPaw. There is something I want you to observe.” 

I sighed and called out the iPaw. 

“Very good. Now if you would, go to your [Party] window. I want you to tell me if there’s something wrong with the amount of [Experience] you have when compared to the girls.”

“Fine?” I scrolled through the numerous windows until I reached the information for myself and the girls in my party. I pressed a thumb against my portrait and mumbled off a few of the numbers I could see. “[Health Points], [Myana Points], ah, here it is. [Experience Points]. 595 points.”

“Very good. Now, look at Keke’s.”

“I don’t know where you’re going with this.” I backed out and went to Keke’s portrait this time. “831. So what?” 

Cailu tilted his head. “You don’t see the issue here? They’re falling behind.”

What is he talking about? No two party members’ numbers are going to be the same. It’s hard enough in most games just to keep an entire party alive during a boss so they can all get exp, so why would our numbers be similar?

I returned his frown. “How are they falling behind? Yeah, I’m catching up in levels, but this is just their current amount of [Experience], right?”

Cailu shook his head. “No, my unaccustomed friend, that is the [Experience] total entire. From the beginning, as it were, until now.”

That didn’t sound right. Just about any game I could think of gave you two bars to look at when it came to [Experience] gained—there was the total amount, and then the amount you had so that you knew how close you were to your next Level. Sure, some games didn’t tell you the total amount, and for those, I usually went on the internet to parse that number. But I couldn’t think of a game off the top of my head that didn’t list your current amount of [Experience Points] in relation to how close you were to your next level. This felt backward.

“Hang on a second. Are you telling me that the amount I’m seeing here is the entire amount I’ve gained since arriving?” 

Cailu nodded. 

I continued to my next question. “And that applies to the girls as well? This is the total amount they’ve gained since, well…”

“Since we became adventurers,” Keke finished.

“Precisely so!” Cailu said with a single finger raised. “Continue the way you’re going, and it’s only a matter of time until you soar past them.”

No, it can’t be that bad.

I backed out of the menu again and checked in on Cannoli. Hers was even worse. “815? How does she only have 815? We’ve done just about everything together.” I looked down at Keke. “The Defiled we killed—that spider lady. I saw it. You both gained a lot more than I did. Why am I gaining so much more?”

Keke’s eyes darted around the room. “I-I don’t know. Maybe because you’re lower, so maybe you gain [Experience Points] quicker than we do?”

Cailu shook his head confidently. “That is not it, and we cannot fault Keke for not knowing. You have completed some [Quests] by now, have you not?”

“Well, sure.”

Oh no. Don’t tell me.

“Those, my dear friend, were your [Quests], not theirs. So only you received the [Experience].”

“Why the hell does it work that way?” I thought aloud.

Cailu’s brow furrowed. “Why would they get [Experience] for your [Quest]?”

“But I saw posters outside. Catgirls take [Quests] too, don’t they?”

“Well, yes,” Cailu said with a nod, “but the majority of the time, [Quests] are given to a single person. However, that is why we are here! You have demonstrated that you are enraptured by your girls. I find that to be rather… inefficient, but it is your choice.”

“Gee, thanks for your input,” Keke mumbled.

“With that in mind! Anyone can take [Quests] from here. And to answer your next question—”

I haven’t said anything yet.

“Yes! There are party-oriented [Quests] as well!”

“And how am I supposed to know that they’ll get the [Experience], too? Like if it’s a party [Quest] or just for me?”

“It’s all in the wording. Your [Quests] have all said the amount of [Experience] offered on completion thus far, have they not? Pay close attention to the way the [Quest] is worded. That is all I will say.”

I sighed and put away the iPaw. “I guess I owe you a thank you.” I reached out with my hand to offer a shake.

Cailu took it with a big, cocky grin. “With that out of the way, I now humbly request a favor from a fellow man.”

And here comes the catch.