Everyone’s a Catgirl!

Chapter 85: Chapter 75: Think Games Are Silly Little Things?


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Sanaia wasn’t kidding. Another set of guards shook us awake as soon as the sun appeared on the horizon. Which was impressive, considering we were underground. I wondered who the hell they stationed up top for sun-watching but let it go.

As expected, I was sore from head to toe but had slept like a rock. It seemed the others had managed the same, all except Ara. Dark circles under her eyes suggested she hadn’t slept a wink. She held a fork in one hand and a butter knife in the other and glared at the guard who dared lay a hand on her shoulder. Now here’s a season of Black Butler that could catch some attention.

“How did you sleep?” Keke had claimed the spot beside me the night before, and I attributed a lot of my ability to sleep to her familiar warmth and scent.

I stretched my arms and rolled my shoulders. “Really well, actually. You?”

Keke nodded. “The same once I fell asleep.” She jutted her chin toward Ara. “I think she was up the whole night. She was still awake when I finally did sleep.”

I frowned. So my guess was right. “Can’t take the bodyguard out of the girl, I guess.”

Tristan yawned, then his eyes snapped wide as his gaze landed on the bucket. “O-oh. We should empty those. I know I had to use one last night.”

As if she was standing right there to remind me, Shizen’s teachings slapped me in the face. I didn’t like what I was about to say, but it was the truth. “Hang on. We can use them for fertilizer.”

All eyes turned on me. Ravyn’s lips and brow contorted into a wrinkled picture of disgust. “You’re joking.”

“No. They need to learn how to farm. And if they don’t have roaches or a ready supply of fertilizer,” I grimaced as I recalled what Shizen told me, “‘people are the next best thing.’”

“That is–” Ara’s thought was broken by a yawn, “–ah, foul.”

I shrugged. “That’s farming. Appear, iPaw.” Scrolling through the menus, I found the notepad program Ai had given me during my time on Shi. “Alright. We need a plan of attack here.”

Cannoli stroked Buttons from head to tail and was the first to speak up. “Keke and I will take a group of the girls to hunt and forage.”

“We need a better idea of what they’re dealing with out there,” Keke added with a nod. “I thought I heard a river or stream last night, and I’m hoping it runs through the gates.”

“Once we’ve found where the girls can find more food, I’ll show them the best way to cook everything.” Buttons ran from Cannoli’s palm to her shoulder to huddle against her neck. “Part of me thinks there’s more outside than Jazz gives credit.”

“I feel the same way.” I turned to Ravyn. “What do you think?”

“First of all, I’m not carrying the shit buckets anywhere,” Ravyn grumbled.

I rolled my eyes. “No one asked you to.”

“Good. Next, I have a hard time believing that none of the women here know magic.” She shook her head. “A simple ward above the gates could alert them to the presence of a Defiled. Instead, they fucking live in this miserable shit hole.”

Tristan flinched. “You don’t have to be so forceful, Ravyn.”

Bad move.

Ravyn spun on her heel and cleared the space between her and Tristan in three furious steps. She snatched the front of his shirt and yanked him closer. “I have traversed this whole fucking island to get you away from your babysitters and make you see how bad things really are. I—”

Before she could continue, Ara thrust an arm beneath Ravyn’s elbow and drove upward. Ravyn was forced to release Tristan’s shirt lest Ara snapped her arm. Ara took the advantage to dance between them, shielding Tristan with her body. She held the fork to Ravyn’s throat and snarled, “Do not lay another hand on him.”

“Oh? Wanna dance, bitch?” Ravyn’s eyes glimmered with malice while Ball Gag flapped wildly behind them.

Fight! Fight! Squaaawk!

Keke grabbed Cannoli’s arm and stepped behind me. There was only so much I could do to shield them from Ravyn’s rage, but if it came to it, I’d do it without a second thought.

“Hey! Stop it!” Tristan put a hand on Ara’s shoulder and pulled back. “We’re here to help. Not fight. Okay?” He moved in front of his bodyguard and spread his arms wide. “I’m sorry, Ravyn. You’re right to be mad.” 

Ravyn cackled and drove one long finger into his chest. “I could char you to a crisp, little boy—”

“Ravyn,” I called. “Let it go.”

Ravyn frowned, and her glowing gaze flickered between Tristan, Ara, and me. She shoved Tristan back into Ara’s arms and leaned against the wall. “Baka.

“What were you saying about mages?” I prompted. I felt Keke and Cannoli relax behind me.

With a deep breath and another glance of contempt at Ara, Ravyn continued, “I doubt anyone here has the power to generate or maintain a wall of protection. But they could live above ground if they had some kind of warning.” She stared at the fingernails of one hand. “I’ll find out who can do it.”

“Great,” I breathed. “I’ll take another group up top and find a place where they can safely set up a farm. Wards and walls can only help them, so Ravyn, keep us updated.”

Ravyn nodded but said nothing.

“Tristan and Ara will come with me. Everyone clear on what they’re doing?”

Warbly sounds of ascent were murmured from each of them. Whatever, commitment enough. “Alright. Let’s go.” I picked up one of the buckets and coughed with the smell. Just breathe through your nose. Tristan grabbed the other, and we made our way back to the main hallway.

Here goes everything.


Our group had seven girls, including Marianne. Jazz had gone with Keke and Cannoli to keep a close eye on their progress, and Sanaia kept watch over Ravyn as she searched through the cavern for any with magical aptitude. I hear there’s a pretty good college in Winterhold.

The overgrowth of grass and weeds made it difficult to discern the condition of the ground, and I often found myself jabbing at it with my toe or the hilt of my axe. Apparently, there was one shovel amongst the entirety of the Catania clan, and that was entrusted to Sanaia lest I ran off with their treasure.

“Some of you must have lived up here before, right?” I asked, recalling Kira’s story.

“Most of us, actually,” Marianne replied. I noticed she’d stayed close to me for the duration of our walk.

“What forced you down below?”

She took a deep breath of air and fingered her long braid. “Honestly? The Encroachers. There are a lot of Defiled out there, but they usually leave the gates alone. The Encroaches slip through the cracks in packs and consume everything in their wake.”

Well, that’ll make an interesting challenge for Ravyn. “I don’t see any right now.” I thought back to the dark walk the night prior. “And I know it was dark, but I didn’t see any last night.”

Marianne nodded. “Some days are better than others.”

Keke was pretty good about setting traps, and her [Encroacher Lore] had helped us understand what it was we were dealing with. “Are any in your group [Scouts]? Or [Hunters]?”

 “You’re from another island, right?” Marianne asked.

“Yeah.”

“Then I’ll try to explain this as best I can. If he’s with you, then you’ve been to Venicia?”

I nodded.

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“Catania once was much like Venicia. Our island’s appeal is the service and hospitality we can offer to others. We’ve never had to fend for our lives like this. Many of us are skilled in trades, like tailoring, writing, or cooking. ” Using her spear as a walking stick, Marianne placed it confidently before her with each step.

Cooking? “Then why the food shortage?” I wondered aloud.

“Our supplies always came from other cities and islands. For example, Badyron specializes in hunting and foraging, Leche is known for farming, and Jeona manufactures textiles.” She glanced up at the sky, appearing to search for a distant memory. “In exchange, Catania traded luxury goods made from its imports.”

They’ve never learned the basics, then. “So there isn’t a single farm here?”

Marianne smiled sadly and shook her head. “Not a one.” She raised her spear to the sky. “And before the attacks, I’d never killed a single Encroacher.”

“So then, no [Scouts] or [Hunters],” I circled back to my original question.

She chuckled. “Not a one.”

Baby steps. “Well, let’s start with farming, huh? One thing at a time.”

That won me a smile, and Marianne’s grey eyes warmed. “One thing at a time.”

“Matt! Look!” Tristan called and pointed to one of the decrepit houses.

From where I was standing, it looked like one more giant, destroyed house among dozens. Cracked walls overgrown with grass and vines, smashed windows and chipped paint flecked from what remained. “What am I looking at?” 

“Follow me!” Tristan said excitedly.

I gestured for the others to stay outside as Tristan, Ara, and I carefully crossed the threshold. I batted away crooked nails from the doorframe with my axe’s hilt and took wide steps through the tall grass to scare off any critters that may have taken residence. I realized what Tristan had found once we were “inside.”

Any carpet or furniture on the first floor was burnt to ash, leaving only more grass and flowering weeds behind. Two stories of seemingly sturdy walls stood stalwart, devoid of a ceiling and allowing an ample amount of sun to shine on the ground.

“There’s stuff growing inside,” Tristan pointed out. “And the walls should protect it pretty well on their own. They’d just have to make up a door.”

I nodded. “Nice find, man.”

Tristan flushed with pride. 

Leaving the fertilizer bucket in one of the far corners, I squatted over the ground and pawed through the ash. Sure enough, the house's very foundation was missing, leaving only cool soil between my fingers. Something had gone scorched earth on this place, and it was to the girls’ benefit.

“This is perfect. We can turn the dirt and mix it with the ash, and it should help the plants some. I’ll just need the shovel.” I brushed my hands on my thighs and stood.

“How do you know so much about farming?” Ara asked.

“Ravyn introduced me to a great teacher,” I admitted truthfully. “I know she can be rough around the edges, but she really does have our best interests at heart. Try to keep that in mind, alright?”

“Hm.” Ara looked away.

I went to find Marianne and the shovel.


It was late afternoon by the time we’d finished. I used a handful of my precious spice seeds given to me by [Shizen], and two other girls reluctantly gave up a splash of fruit seeds they’d planned to chew on later. We were all covered in sweat, dirt, and ash, but it looked like the start of a real garden when we were done.

Praying that Keke’s stream was actually there, I gave them watering instructions and ideas to build a door. Maybe we can put one together tomorrow before we leave. One of the guards escorted Ara on a detour to find her daggers while the rest of us made our way back to the cavern. It took a lot of convincing, but she finally agreed to let a very tired Tristan go back and rest under my watch.

Though, he didn’t rest at all when we got back. Kira and Amara cornered him, surrounded by a group of young catgirls with curious faces and excitedly waving tails.

Tristan took the opportunity to use my suggestion. “Do you guys like drawing?”

Many of the younger girls nodded excitedly. One declared, “I made my own paint!” Her confidence deflated with the sharp gazes of her friends, but she added, “I-I can show you if you want.”

I followed the ensemble as they herded Tristan down the hallways and into an area that was set up for recreation. One makeshift shelf held a handful of tomes, there was an uneven table filled with catgirls playing cards, and a splintered coffee table covered in pieces of fabric being sewn together by one very focused young woman. Tristan’s fan club rushed him to the opposite side, digging out pieces of charcoal, pots of dyes, and containers of paint.

“This is my favorite brush.” The one that made her own paint handed Tristan a stick with delicate bristles attached at the end. “You can use it if you’re real careful.”

“Thank you. I’ll be very careful with it.” Tristan accepted it with reverence, then flashed a winning smile at the girl. “Should I draw you first?”

She flushed, and her eyes grew as wide as saucers. “Really?”

“Really!” Tristan laughed.

“Y-yes, please!”

What a charmer.

As Tristan set to work, I enjoyed the show. He was a natural with kids. I wondered if he ever had the chance to spend time with his own or if that was just as off-limits as the outside world. It was good to hear them laughing. Good to hear him laughing. I could understand Ara’s ferocious protection a little better.

“Hey,” a smooth voice purred in my ear. “We could both use a bath, don’t you think?”

Marianne leaned over my shoulder, the heat of her breath on my neck. I shivered.

“This isn’t my island,” I murmured.

“So?” She laughed. A low, sensual sound that gave me goosebumps. “It’s just a bath.” She walked her fingers from my lower back to the nape of my neck. “Anything else that happens is an accident.”

I was quickly losing the battle to the heat between my legs. “There’s a private bath here?”

“Just for Jazz. But she’s not here right now.” The tips of her fingers stroked the line of my spine.

“That’s risky as hell.”

“What, are you not up for a challenge?” She hummed her disappointment. “I thought you were braver than that.”

I stood and ran a hand through my hair. With a sigh, I waved down Tristan. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

Tristan nodded enthusiastically. “Okay!”

Marianne gently touched my arm. “That’s what I thought.”

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