Ha Won returned to the company and contacted Director Lee later. Director Lee comforted me by saying that I must have been very surprised. He told me I didn’t have to go back to the company and I could rest today. Even if I went back, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate anyway. That’s right.
Director Lee also called me directly afterward. He sounded very surprised. He asked me several times if I was okay. I answered over and over again that I’m fine like a broken doll. I said that Kim Joo-young would move to a special room in the hospital, so I calmed him down.
– I’ll go see you now.
“You are busy.”
– I miss you.
“Today, I will go alone. I want to be alone.”
– Well, okay. Alright, then. Joo-hyuk-ssi.
“Yes.”
– She’ll be fine.
“Yes.”
– I like you.
“Well…”
Director Lee laughed. I feel ticklish.
“Me too.”
I hung up the call. I really thought I was going to die, but now I have calmed down a bit.
“Hey… You look happy…”
Kim Joo-young opened her mouth with a smirk.
“Shut up.”
“You look happy…”
“…”
“You look happy… because… you have a lover…”
Kim Joo-young finally woke up while I was calling Director Lee. I drank the juice my father had given her and ate the fruit the patient next to me gave. There is no other gorilla with such fortitude.
“Kim Joo-hyuk…”
“What.”
“Because you have a lover… happy… You happy…?”
“Sleep, you punk. Seriously, go to sleep.”
Kim Joo-young wiggled her fingers, then popped out her middle finger. This little punk, seriously, I don’t know what’s wrong with her.
“Kim Joo-young.”
“Yeah… ”
“Don’t be sick. It costs a lot of money.”
“Oppa.”
“Yeah.”
“Sometimes you are like a father… Dad cried a lot earlier…”
“I know. You are a gorilla that won’t die so easily.”
“Bastard…”
I leaned my head against the bed. Kim Joo-young grabbed my hair with her hand and pulled it. I decided to leave her alone. I don’t know if she was tearing my hair or just touching it because she didn’t have any strength in her hands.
“Thank you.”
“Of course, you should be grateful. Because of you, I didn’t even eat lunch and ran here.”
“Since you came here… Buy me ice cream…”
“You little pig.”
I get up while cursing her a little. Kim Joo-young spread her arms. I hugged her. Kim Joo-young, who patted my back, whispered, “It’s okay.” I don’t know who is comforting who. I brushed off the hair on her forehead.
“Hey, Kim Joo-young, but when was the last time you washed your hair? The smell, seriously.”
Kim Joo-young giggled with phlegm mixed in.
“Love you.”
“You’re annoying, really.”
***
On the way home, I called Seol Ki-do. Ki-do said that he was at home and not busy. When I asked if I could go to his house, the answer was ‘When?’ That’s it.
“Looks like Joo-young is an Omega.”
– Her? I thought she was an Alpha.
“Did you feel something? Like pheromones?”
– No, her personality. I have to say that her personality is a little, somehow, like an Alpha. Nothing, never mind.
Ki-do said he was going to be busy soon. I should have a drink before that.
While we were talking about this and that, we also talked about the rut. When I asked what I should do when Kim Joo-young went into a rut or a heat cycle, all the stories came out. He said there is a lot to take care of. Then the Ki-do I knew changed.
– Never mind.
He said she can do well on her own anyway. Joo-young is also an adult. That’s it. As I remembered, I asked if he was with his girlfriend during the last rut. After thinking for a while, Ki-do answered that they broke up.
“Why? Did you fight?”
– No, it’s not like that…
Ki-do let out a bitter laugh.
– I don’t think I’ll ever go to her house anymore.
It’s nonsense, but I decided not to ask any further questions. I’m going to go buy some drinks on the way.
I followed the familiar road and went up to Ki-do’s house. It smelled delicious. Seol Ki-do couldn’t cook, so I wondered what he ordered. As I opened the front door, Ki-do came out.
“You’re here?”
Ki-do took the plastic bag out of my hand.
“I was just about to ask you to buy me a drink, this is great.”
I had to take off my shoes, but my body is stiff. When I saw Ki-do’s face, the tension in my body went away.
The tears I had been holding back spilled out.
“Hyung?”
“Hey…”
“Hyung, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
I thought Kim Joo-young was going to die. Fuck. I thought Kim Joo-young was going to die.
“Joo-young will be fine, hyung. Calm down. Joo-young is stronger than you, hyung.”
Ki-do tried to reassure me. It will be fine. I don’t know what’s going to be fine. This moment is not good. It’s really bad. Only strange sounds came out of my groaning throat.
“I really liked you.”
I tightly hugged Seol Ki-do, who was staring blankly at me.
“I really liked you.”
Ki-do gently hugged me back. It’s a familiar touch. We hugged each other when we barely handed in our graduation thesis, we hugged again when we graduated, and again when we were lucky enough to get a giant doll from the doll claw machine. We hugged a few years ago when Kim Joo-young was unconscious for a few days and barely managed to regain consciousness. Like today, I cried a lot, and you comforted me.
It was Ki-do. In my heart, I knew it was Ki-do. The only one I liked was you, but I wasn’t always brave enough to say so. Ki-do was the only embrace I could cry in. In an instant, all of my emotions rushed over me. I pushed it high enough to allow my emotions out. It was difficult to breathe as tears streamed down my cheeks. I loved you so much. I still like you. I really like you. But now things are a little different. It has changed.
“I really liked you. I really liked you.”
I actually really liked you. I really liked you. I purposely took on the same executive role as you and came to your concert involuntarily, with the goal of being alone with you. I did not like alcohol. I stuck to my role as an immature senior who insisted on drinking with you because I like alcohol.
I also know that you like me. I was confused, but I already knew. I remember every subtle moment when we made eye contact. You didn’t just say you liked me; you were also very persistent. You listened to the same music, took the same public classes, and ate at the same restaurant for nothing. It remained the same after graduation. We found each other first when we had time. We had to meet even if we had to cram it into our schedule.
Then, I drew a line. I’m a Beta, you’re an Alpha.
We just guessed whether we had lingering feelings for each other or not, and then we became a family.
“I really liked you. I still like you. But it’s different, it’s different now. But, I still like you. Ki-do, I like you so much. I liked you.”
I don’t know if I’m crying or talking. I didn’t mean to say this. Ki-do buried his face in my shoulder.
“Me too.”
The problem was that we were so similar in the end. I thought it would be a little different.
“Hyung, me too.”
Ki-do pressed his forehead against me.
If I had known that Alphas, Betas, and Omegas all lead normal lives, it might have been different. I must have told you in my heart. We would have been different. However, the word ‘if’’ is only an illusion. We only live in the present. In this normal life.
“You look so ugly crying, hyung.”
“You aren’t looking any better than me right now.”
We laughed out loud at each other. I don’t think anything has changed that much from when we were in college. After all, something must have changed dramatically over the years.
The tip of Ki-do’s nose came closer. I stopped breathing for a moment, then closed my eyes. I turned my head and rested my head on Ki-do’s shoulder. My forehead is hot.
“Don’t do anything we will regret.”
Ki-do embraced me tightly. But Director Lee exudes a warmth that could not be described. That’s all. That was the end of it.
Ki-do said in a quiet voice,
“Hyung, let’s eat chicken with Joo-young tomorrow. She is always looking for chicken after waking up from fainting.”
“I’ve got a lot of coupons. I’ve been eating a lot of chicken lately.”
“Also, you seem to have gained weight these days.”
We hugged silently for a while.
It was the end of another period. Now it’s really over.