“Deputy Kim did a good job, and the company atmosphere was bright and pleasant. Deputy Kim is important to us. Actually, you helped me a lot as well. Even if you leave, let’s keep in touch every now and then. You did a great job.”
“Thank you.”
“Thank you for everything.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Cheer up.”
Section Chief Lee tapped me on the shoulder.
“Cheer up.”
I returned to my seat, watching the cigarette dust spread in waves from the wind. The dinner location is not warm at all. I took a seat that had a lot of smoke blowing in my direction and drank my drink. We toasted again, teased each other, and laughed.
As soon as Director Lee left the office, he came to pick me up. The atmosphere became awkward when the boss abruptly entered, and he stated that he would wait outside the building. I carefully packed each gift.
“I have someone waiting outside, so I’ll go back first. See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow!”
“Thank you!”
“Deputy Kim, be careful on your way!”
“Thank you for your effort!”
The dinner continued even after I left. The loud noises disappeared as soon as the pub door closed. Leaning against the car, Director Lee stood leisurely. He looks at me and waves his hand.
“Get in the car. It’s cold.”
“Director.”
“Yes.”
“I got a pot.”
“Yes?”
“Pot…”
I pushed the gift into the car and hugged Director Lee.
“I got a pot.”
“Congratulations.”
“Yes. I got a pot… “
Director Lee comforted me. I get in the car. I got a pot. I see, congratulations. Pot. Do you need a pot? No. Then get in the car. Okay.
While watching Director Lee drive, I repeatedly fell asleep. Then suddenly woke up.
“Director.”
“Yes?”
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to Joo-hyuk’s house.”
“Turn the car around.”
“What?”
“Let’s go to Director’s house.”
Because Director Lee’s bed is wider.
Director Lee stopped the car after giving it some thought. I got out of the car as soon as it came to a stop, leaving all of the gifts behind. Director Lee grabbed my wrist as I walked.
“Where are you going?”
“Wait here. I’m going to the convenience store.”
“Are you not feeling well?”
“No, I have a lot to buy.”
Director Lee and I went into a convenience store. Director Lee followed me around and asked me. Is your stomach okay, did you eat well, and are you tired… I pushed a drink into Director Lee’s arms. It has a unique appearance and a character drawn on it.
“I heard this is delicious. Drink.”
“Ah yes.”
I also found some sweets recommended by Kim Joo-young and gave them to Director Lee.
“This is for Ha Won-ssi.”
“Won?”
“He looks like Joo-young.”
“Huh? I see.”
I also bought toiletries. Because it is so long, it resembles Director Lee. I’m going to buy it. I grabbed Director Lee’s sleeve, who was looking at me, and said seriously,
“Today, I’m going to sleep at Director Lee’s house.”
“I know. Let’s sleep.”
Director Lee kissed my cheek. I pushed Director Lee’s face.
Now to buy the most important thing. I came in to buy this. As I continued to look around, Director Lee appeared with a basket. I grabbed the basket. Director Lee has a blank expression on his face as he looks down at his empty hands.
“What are you looking for, Joo-hyuk-ssi?”
“Condoms.”
“What?”
The condoms are hanging in the corner over there. I run excitedly. Condoms. I should buy some condoms. I should select it carefully. From the outside, they all looked the same. Director Lee turned my body.
“It’s cute to admit it, but we should just buy our snacks and go home. Okay?”
“Why?”
I struggled hard with my head not spinning. Oh right, condoms have to be chosen by the person who will actually wear them. I picked up any condom I liked.
“I will buy this. Director Lee, pick one too.”
“Joo-hyuk-ssi, you know that’s dental floss, right?”
“Isn’t it a condom?”
“It’s a condom. Buy that. Buy it.”
I tiptoed a little and whispered into Director Lee’s ear.
“Choose quickly. Time is running out.”
Director Lee hugged me tightly. Director Lee’s arms slowly loosened.
“Let’s not do this outside. I bought everything at home…”
Director Lee whispered in my ear.
“Then let’s go quickly.”
Director Lee’s house had two bathrooms. I pushed Director Lee into one of the bathrooms and took the other. Director Lee knocked on the bathroom door.
“Joo-hyuk-ssi! Towel! I brought a towel!”
Director Lee is standing there holding a towel and a shower robe when I open the bathroom door. I grab Director Lee’s neck. Director Lee closed his eyes, but I didn’t kiss him because I’m afraid the scent of alcohol will escape my mouth. Director Lee stood still and then opened his eyes.
“Director Lee should also wash up.”
As I’m brushing my teeth, a fear suddenly came over me. What if Director Lee suddenly says he doesn’t like me? I wipe the mirror full of water. I look at my body, and I don’t know. I take my hand off the mirror and continue brushing my teeth. Over-brushing may cause the gums to bleed. I’m suddenly very nervous.
I heard Omegas can release some pheromones before sex. And, it’s said that something leaks out. Something sticky? Well, there’s definitely something. I saw it in a book. It said something comes out to make it easier to have sex. I’m a Beta. My eyes darkened. I got scared. I thought about getting dressed again and calmly taking a taxi home.
I put on my shower robe and come out the bathroom door. Let’s just do it. Let’s do it first and then think about it. When Director Lee was in a rut, I think I also became dizzy. I thought I could just do it, but when I actually did it, it felt weird. It’s scary, I’m scared.
It’s not that I won’t do it.
Director Lee is wearing comfortable clothes and sitting on the bed. He’s reading a book with a lamp on, but I couldn’t see the title. Director Lee saw me, put down the book, and motioned for me to come closer. I walk quietly. The atmosphere from earlier had disappeared.
Director Lee made my shower robe tighter.
“Isn’t it cold? I brought out a change of clothes.”
“Director.”
“Yes, Deputy Kim.”
Director Lee put me on his lap. I calmly supported the shower robe and sat down on Director Lee. Director Lee buried his nose in the nape of my neck.
“You smell good.”
“…”
“Go to bed early today.”
Director Lee’s consideration made me nervous. If I was an Omega, if I was an Alpha, I would have been able to convey my feelings a little more clearly.
I want to reassure Director Lee. I like you too. I like Director Lee as much as Director Lee likes me. No, I’m just convincing myself that I could be reassured like that. I just didn’t want to miss this opportunity. I want to give a presentation about how much I want Director Lee.
The absence of pheromones is such a risk. A Beta’s handicap.
I grabbed Director Lee’s hand as he got up to bring the clothes. My heart is beating fast. I want to satisfy Director Lee. I want you to believe me. I’m worried that you won’t be able to trust my sincerity.
Director Lee’s eyes moved down slowly. I took off my shower robe. My shoulders are stiff. Director Lee wrapped his hand around my shoulder. My heart is beating fast. It’s beating really fast. I feel suffocated.
Director Lee scanned my chest with his hand. As a warm hand rubbed my nipples, embarrassment flooded in. I put my legs together. Director Lee passed my chest and wrapped his hand around my waist. A hot hand pressed against my skin like it was a piano.
Director Lee wraps his hands around my neck and opens his lips. Director Lee approaches me cautiously. Director Lee gets on top of me. I part my lips and take off Director Lee’s shirt. My field of vision was filled with Director Lee’s bare chest. I’m not sure where to focus my gaze. I closed my eyes because Director Lee’s collarbone, shoulder muscles, and dimples were way too sexy one after the other. I wrap my arm around Director Lee’s waist.
“Joo-hyuk-ssi, are you sober?”
“I sobered up earlier.”
Director Lee put his lips on my forehead.
“I like you.”
Director Lee said it. Director Lee buried his face in the nape of my neck again. He seems to be breathing me in. The scent of soap wafted from Director Lee’s skin. I can’t feel his pheromones. Is there a machine that allows you to sense pheromones? With such advancements in science and technology, it makes no sense to say that the commercialization of pheromone machines for Betas is still a long way off. You must install the function on your smartphone. Something akin to a pheromone reading app.
Director Lee’s hand slid down to my hip. My body stiffened for a brief moment. Director Lee’s face also darkened slightly. He might notice my nervousness. I’m afraid he’s already caught on.
“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
Director Lee smiled. Director Lee got up. Director Lee increased the brightness of the stand’s lighting by one level. He knelt to pick up his T-shirt. The light highlighted his muscular waist. I caught it as soon as I saw it.
“Director.”
“Yes.”
Director Lee picked up his T-shirt.
I want to run. I wasn’t sure I could match the pace of affection for Director Lee, but I do want to walk alongside him and occasionally ask him to follow me. I want an equal relationship, not one in which Director Lee constantly leads me. I want him to know how much I like him.
No, I just want to be with him. I just want to do it. No other excuses were needed. I just like him, I like him. If it’s good, it means we’re moving forward. Good, I like him. I grabbed hold of Director Lee as he was about to stand up. I can’t let him go like this.
In the end, there is only one answer. You are free to do whatever you want. Even if someone advises you not to do something. There would be no police and no FBI if people were told not to do something and they followed through. I wrapped myself around Director Lee’s neck and pulled him closer. I can do whatever I want.
“I want to do it.”
“Joo-hyuk-ssi.”
I even opened the shower robe with one hand. I pulled Director Lee towards my body. I took Director Lee’s shirt and threw it back. I really threw it away. I led Director Lee’s hand to my chest. I can’t read Director Lee’s expression. “I like you.”
If I had pheromones, they would fill the room.
“Really.”
All I can do is speak. Director Lee turned towards me. I unbuckled Director Lee’s pants. Director Lee’s penis is already swollen. I’m relieved. I spread my legs to help Lee Si-hyun settle down easily. Lee Si-hyun grabbed my shoulder.