Chapter 3: Chapter 2

After Dr Komachi left, I was brought in a wheelchair around the facility by some enforcers and an attending nurse named Mr Taku to the third floor of a wing where resident doctors would stay, and was told that this was the temporary holding room I would stay in for a few days while they handled my administrative matters. Along the way I saw a calendar which informed me that it was already the 2nd of October, Tuesday. It was January the 14th when I collapsed, halfway through the winter season. 

Summer vacation ended a few weeks back, had I not collapsed I would most likely have spent it with my family, preparing for my second term of university and playing around with my friends in some arcade or something after work.

As I was reminiscing about the good old days and what could have been, Mr Taku began explaining various things to me, like how to take care of my hair properly and various other hygiene related things that a girl like me should know. Most importantly though was the basics of X syndrome and the basic rundown of early symptoms. Mr Taku explained that I would be emotionally unstable for a while as a result of changes in my brain functions but it would pass after a while which could be months but usually less than a year, and that in the meantime I should refrain from doing anything that may be emotionally stimulating.

A bracelet was fastened tightly to my wrist by the enforcers which would act as my locator as well as my map around the island, and would serve as my identification and wallet, and was connected to a secure intranet network for me to search up various things related to the island. It also had a device to measure my pulse so that they would know if I attempted to remove it by cutting off a limb or try to damage the bracelet in any way.

Mr Taku told me I had about ¥20,000 to use at my leisure for the time being to procure food and clothes, and whatever else I wanted and taught me how to use the different functions of the bracelet before leaving. He left the wheelchair behind in case I needed it, but I decided that I won't be using it.

Looking around the room, I found that I had already been provided with some shoes and a set of underwear and a simple woollen one piece dress made to keep warm for the season, and some necessary toiletries. Despite being provided with clothes I found myself hesitant to wear them, but as hospital robes were hardly suitable to roaming the city I had no choice but to do so. I was not used to my body and various actions felt odd so it was slightly difficult for me to move and even walk properly but I managed to get the hang of it, and eventually put my clothes on. My muscles ached a little because I was sleeping for about a week but it wasn't that painful.

At the very least my body was still that of a child so I only had to put on some bloomers under the dress which was relatively easy to wear. With that I was ready to explore. Before that though, my body is small and my bladder smaller. It was a simple process but I would have to take some time to get used to it.

As I slowly made my way out of the building, I read up on some of the history of the Exile district on my bracelet, although not connected to the outside world, the intranet had plenty of information written by other Exiles as well as several approved external sites that had been copied over to the network. 

Comprising of a district in the Hokkaido prefecture, Rebun island is surrounded by water and heavily patrolled by coastal guards. Each prefecture had many of their own quarantine wards and cities during Exodus and many had been compromised as well. Rebun island was one of the last few that had been compromised and the islands population fell drastically from being infected by the eX virus. 

Soon after the first Exiles began to appear, the government chose to hold us here precisely because it would be hard to escape from, but easy to police with the already existing military base on the island and coastal patrols to prevent escape by sea, and had enough space to support future Exiles.

Originally comprising of only a part of the island, over time the government expanded it out in anticipation of the future Exile populous and the remaining residents of the Rebun island that was devastated during Exodus was moved to the mainland, the Rebun district nicknamed the Exile district as a result.

There have been a few attempts at escape that made the news, though with the bracelets it would be a simple matter to locate, track, and capture any runaways in a matter of hours. Even if one were to remove a limb to get rid of the bracelet, they would bleed out in a matter of minutes without medical attention. It was also made of sturdy metal so it would be hard to remove by breaking it or cutting through it before the enforcers catch you.

I could see why people tried to escape though, stretched out before me was the sea. Just out into the distance I could see the mainland of Hokkaido and boats which I assume carried cargo back and forth to the mainland. If one could just get past the enforcers guarding the harbour and sneak onto a boat, it would be a short ride back to the mainland.

However such a feat was an impossible task. It made for a rather dystopian sight to see the harbour gates defended by machine guns facing the road leading to the town, and the harbour crew unloading their goods under the watchful eye of the enforcers patrolling about.

One could try swimming over too, but even if you managed to remove the bracelet, the ocean currents would most likely kill you, or the coastal guards would find you. Escape was truly impossible.

The town itself was patrolled by small teams of heavily armed officers. It felt more like a prison than a simple harbour town, which made sense. Despite that I could see quite a few groups of people shuffling about and generally living life as per usual, the presence of the enforcers thoroughly ignored but not forgotten as they made sure to give them a wide berth as they passed by.

The closer I looked however, the more I realised that there were a few non-Exiles scattered about the crowd. They did not have bracelets and were escorted about by civilian dressed enforcers armed with pistols rather than rifles.

I realised something else as well, that I was the only child amongst them. All of the Exiles looked about fifteen years old and above. Most of them would ignore me but some sent glances, almost out of pity before moving on with their business.

Regardless, I headed on until I could find a shop which sold some clothes which wasn't hard to do because the town was rather long and thin, running parallel to a coastal road. The buildings near the hospital were residential but as I walked further, shophouses started to line the streets. As the town was rather small, there weren't many people about, most of the shops were empty but the pubs and cafes had a few customers.

The shop I went to sold female clothes at an affordable price and despite my earlier grievances, the dress was very comfortable and easy to put on. It was a little far from the hospital though, so I tried to buy as little as possible so that I won't have as much trouble on the way back. The shop didn't sell any pants though, which I found odd, but I didn't question it.

Partly because I had planned to buy a dress anyway, but also because I noticed as I was walking about, that every girl I came across was wearing a dress. Sometimes they had some tights on or a thigh high, but none of them wore pants. I remember seeing girls wearing jeans and pants in Tokyo, but to not see any around here seemed unusual. My bloomers acted as pants anyway so it wasn't that much of an issue.

As they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Despite trying to buy as little as possible, it was still troublesome for me to lug all the bags of clothes so the shop offered to send it to my room for me. Apparently it was a normal occurrence for new arrivals such as myself to buy more than they can physically handle, and a service to deliver the goods was then set up. 

I then went up to a nearby bakery store to buy some food, it had a cafe but there wasn't anyone inside. I tried to pick out my food, but it was a little hard since I was short now the person manning the shop came over to help me pick out a few buns and puffs.

He had black hair and brown eyes, and looked to be about twenty years old and had a slight Kansai accent.

"Girly, yer a new one ain't ya?"

"Yes, I just awoke today."

He introduced himself as Kou, one of the earliest tenants on the island and fellow Exile. Apparently he owned and ran the bakery.

"Today? Ya musta been real good to be let out today. Must be tough eh wakin' up like this, but yer roamin' about at least so ya must be a safe one."

"Safe one?"

"They didn't tell ya? Well most new guys give a lot o' trouble at the hospital, some o' them don't even get to roam about 'pending on how they b'have"

From what I gather, it wasn't odd for a new exile to try and escape or something, so they usually had an enforcer around to tail and escort them or even prevent them from leaving the building.

"So where's yer escort? They shouldn't be too far ya know?"

"I don't have one?"

"Really? Tha's unusual. Ya must've been really really good then, Komachi musta really liked ya ta let ya walk 'bout with no escort."

"You know the doctor?"

"Oh yeah everyone 'round here knows her. She and a few of the first batches the one tha' convinced the government ta let us live on the island. Else we'd all be in some prison or somethin'."

He laughed boisterously at this comment, then offered me something to drink on the house at the cafe which I accepted. He was rather amused when I ordered a black coffee without sugar but went along with it anyway and brought my order and sat down beside me to talk. I guess it might have been odd for a little child like me to have such an adult taste, but I realised rather early on though that I was very much a child and that Kou had stealthily left some sugar packets for me. He didn't comment on the three empty packets of sugar, which I was very thankful for and I guessed that this must happen frequently enough.

I asked why there were so many shops despite having so few people, and he told me that it was because the people from the Central Town mostly came over on the Fridays and weekends. Apparently he would have so many customers then it was hard to even operate the store alone, he hired some help only on those days. On other days though the town would be rather quiet.

I was rather interested in the Central Town that he mentioned though. When I mentioned that, Kou's face hardened just a little.

"One way or 'nother, yer gonna go there 'ventually. Word o' advice, stay outta trouble yeah? The guards 'round here are a'right but the ones further up ain't gonna be so nice."

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"Further up?"

"Yeah, tha's where yer gonna be fer 'bout five years for re-education, i's called the Upper Town. After tha's military training fer 'nother five, then you'll probably live here 'round the harbour. Pay real good 'ttention 'specially in the social education. An' stay outta trouble at all costs. Yer probably gonna be in Class one or two at worst so don't do anythin' tha'll get you dropped down."

He explained that there were five different classes of people. The first two were usually given free reign to do as they pleased and made up the smallest group of the population. Most of the Exiles were in class three or four while the worst group of people considered to be hazardous even for an Exile made up the last group. They were held in various military bases scattered about the island.

Kou himself was a class two citizen which was how he managed to open a bakery so near the harbour in the Harbour Town. Class three and four citizens could only live more in-land in the Central Town where security was slightly tighter. New inhabitants like me though, would be held in the Upper Town where we would undergo re-education and military training where security is the tightest.

I managed to dig up some information on the bracelet after I made my way back to my room but from what I could find everyone would have the opportunity to go up or down the classes depending on their behaviour, but it was harder to go up than to go down. Class one citizens usually get to go back to the mainland on a limited basis like Dr Komachi who sometimes gets requested for a surgical operation or even conduct business on the mainland.

The harbour for one, is only accessible to class one citizens working there or onboard a ship, everyone else requires a permit but that was a rare occurrence. Of course there were several restrictions but the class one citizens were the most privileged of the Exile community, even compared to class two.

I could not find any information on the criteria for going up, but obviously if one were to behave inappropriately or break the law of the island, they would eventually be demoted down. In fact many citizens observed that after the age of ten, they usually remained in the class they were in. It was extremely rare beyond that age to be promoted to a different class but it does happen, the reason however is not known.

I reached my room in a rather downcast mood. My clothes were already inside the room and so I packed them up into the cupboard provided, but my mind was still dwelling on my current situation. According to Kou I should be at least a class two citizen, which meant that if I simply behaved and did well in re-education, I could get promoted to class one, but I was more anxious about dropping down. For one, he hinted that the enforcers were far less forgiving up in the Upper Town and I knew that Exiles were heavily discriminated against. To what extent though I wasn't sure, but I wasn't looking forward to finding out.

Night came early in Autumn and soon it was cold outside. Luckily the building also offered room services to temporary tenants like me so I ordered a simple bowl of ramen. It wasn't too remarkable, just a normal bowl of ramen like you would find in any hospital.

The room had a shower and a tub, so I decided to soak myself for a while. Less like a hospital, the services and facilities provided were more like a hotel which came as a great surprise to me. I've had nothing but culture shocks since I've awoken, that I doubted I was still in the same country. 

As I soaked in the warm water, I ran my hands through my hair and then over my body. This was the first time I could properly inspect it since I woke up, but it was seriously different even when compared to my original body at the same age. At five I already had various scratches and scars on my body, but this body was flawless. My body, my hair was rather long and reached to about my waist, and my skin was really soft to the touch. The size of my body was so small that everything around me looked gigantic in comparison, even the tub.

From what I knew, the eX-217 virus causes the body to break down and disintegrate in a matter of hours, but thanks to the vaccine slowing down the virus' progression through the body patients now have several days to live which is enough time to rebuild the body.

The process which rebuilds the body is called the Liquify-Gene-cHromosome Therapy or LiGHT. Originally developed for patients with amputated limbs, it was modified to treat people suffering from the eX virus. It works by dissolving and then rebuilding the body including the brain. The only problem is that you can't dissolve the brain entirely without killing the patient, so it is done in parts by allowing the virus to infect and disintegrate the brain, and then rebuilding the part that is destroyed almost immediately. 

This part of the process cannot be automated and requires a team of neurosurgeons working in shifts to operate. I heard from Kou that Dr Komachi is one of the top neurosurgeons in the country and is sometimes called for this as well and sometimes leaves the island to cover for various hospitals.

The problem with this process is that there is permanent damage to the brain due to small imperfections in the operation. The result is that the brain doesn't produce the chemicals which regulate emotions well and hence the patient loses a huge range of emotional capacity. I don't know why this is so as I'm not well versed in neuroscience, even the neuroscientists are unsure about it, but it is known that the damage will heal over time although never fully. After the brain has been entirely rebuilt, the rest of the body is then 'grown' around the body like a baby. 

From what I am told though, the process seems more analogous to 3d printing a body around the brain. Since the brain has been noticeably shrunk by about ten percent, the body is grown to appear about five years of age. The new body will then age accordingly and the rest of the brain will grow back in time like a normal child. 

The entire process takes about eight to ten months, similar to being born, which is why after the process a 'birth' certificate is made and an Exile will use the day they finish the process as their new birthdate with the year of birth set to five years before, my own birthdate has been set as the 27th of September in the year 16AE.

I mulled over this situation as I hugged my knees and ran my hands up and down my legs. As I traced the surface of my thigh and calves, I unconsciously focused on the sensation of feeling nothing between my legs. Giving in to temptation, I slowly slipped my hands under my thigh and rolled them towards the inside of my thigh and began gently tracing in a circular fashion with my palm, slowly bringing them closer inwards and lower towards my buttocks. 

Each time they came close enough, I would feel some sort of tingling in my waist that sort of spread into my abdomen. Eventually when I my hands went down as far they could, I rolled my palm all the way in and they slipped between the crease where my thighs met the waist and my fingers slid over the sides of my lips. 

It was a strange sensation, every time I rolled my fingers inwards, the shivering caused my knees to shake slightly. I continued for about three minutes when the tingling in my waist became slightly more pronounced and my abdomen tightened as time went by. 

I was too engrossed in this new sensation that I lost focus of my fingers and my pinky accidentally slipped between the slit. It roughly slid over the opening and which sent a sharp jolt through me, and before I could even register what had happened it, ran over something sensitive at the top of the opening because all of a the muscles in my crotch immediately clenched tightly and suddenly, the tingling sensation in my abdomen became a crunch and it felt like I had a sudden cramp. I immediately stopped my movements. 

I sat in the tub for a while trying my best to not move, taking in short and sharp breaths. It felt like as if someone punched my diaphragm but I liked the feeling. I could see the water rippling as I trembled and shivered from something. I must have been close to something because it felt like a tight knot in my abdomen was trying to pull itself apart, slightly pulsing in anticipation and remained tensed as if ready to pounce and release all the tension stored within, my knees would visibly clench towards each other as the pulse rippled through my body.

I could feel that lingering sensation you get after pinching skin where whatever that something I touched was, except more pronounced. I don't know if it hurt, my mind was confused at how to process this feeling but I knew my body wanted to continue. It pulsed as if urging me on and every second I delayed, it became more and more frustrated. Eventually the feeling subsided, my abdomen relaxed and I gasped a few slow and deep breaths.

I quickly got out of the bath and wiped myself down, my long hair took some time to dry. Putting on some sleepwear, I dragged myself to the bed. There was a mirror in front of me and I looked at myself dangling my legs off the edge of the bed as I was too short. The soft pale skin of the girl in the mirror was dazzling and conjured up an image of a doll. 

There was a sharp contrast between the image I had of myself and what I saw sat in the mirror. I had half thought the mirror was a cut out of the wall, and the cute little girl that sat on the other side was making a game out of mimicking my movements. I began a staring contest with the girl, hoping beyond hope she would blink before me. But reality was cruel.

For some reason tears welled up in my eyes. I wasn't because I felt sad, but I think it was because it was a natural response from my body. It was explained to me before by Mr Taku about this phenomena, but it felt weird to me that I was crying without feeling that sad or hurt. The thought of that alone made the tears heavier but the expression on my face, other than the sniffling, was as expressionless as can be.

I heard people with depression feel empty, and I suppose this is what I was currently feeling. I watched myself in the mirror for quite a while, I was just sitting there listlessly in the dimly lit room with tears streaming down my face and sniffling to myself. It looked rather surreal because I wasn't sad, in fact I wasn't feeling anything particular in that moment.

This was what Mr Taku told me about, that the current hypothesis was because, the part of the brain which actually processes the feeling can't because it is unable to produce the right amount of chemicals which regulate emotions, but there was a part of the brain that is conditioned to reacts physically to emotional stimulus which results in stress at the cognitive dissonance, it then manifests as something similar to Alexithymia or the inability to recognise emotions but is subtly different in several technical aspects which I understood even less about.

I remember what Mr Taku taught me, think about things that used to make me happy. I thought about my music, my favourite stories and novels from my youth. As I thought about these things I realised I did not feel as strongly about them anymore, it felt like it was detached from me somewhat. Eventually my tears stopped and my breathing became normal.

I laid down on the bed as I continued to regulate my breathing, the bedsheets were slightly damped from the water in my hair but I didn't pay attention to it. I just slowly breathed in and held it in then slowly exhaled out. It felt like I was just existing and was a very calming sensation.

I must have dosed off somewhere because I woke up late into the night, maybe even early morning. I don't know why I woke up but I felt odd. Eventually I heard the soft beeping which was probably what woke me and I realised it came from the bracelet, it was dangling loosely and I could even slip it off.

Multiple thoughts ran through my head at once and the drowsiness that was just present was forgotten. Without this bracelet I could practically escape undetected, and I ran to my window which had a view of the harbour. It seemed quiet and there were a few enforcers on patrol. I could see a way of escape though and I almost started making a run for it but when I thought about what I would do next, I stopped.

Just for the sake of argument I managed to escape, what then? I had nowhere to go, I couldn't return to my family as they will be searched for sure, the same is true for my friends and anyone remotely connected to me. I could try to live by myself but a city boy, well city girl, like me wouldn't know how. Even f I did I didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone, at least here on this prison island I could live relatively freely and build a new life. I might even have a shot at working over at the mainland. I understood that I had more to lose than I could gain by escaping.

There was no guarantee that I would make it out either. If I was caught there was no doubt that I would be severely punished. As my head cooled, I realised that I have never once heard of a successful escape attempt. They were attempted of course, every month or so someone would make a big splash in the news, but no one was ever successful. The chances of a government cover up were slim, but not zero of course, though I doubted they would cover something like this up.

Besides, I had a shot at being a class one citizen. To throw it all away at a high-risk and low-reward endeavour like this was nothing short of foolish. I only had one shot at this and I was not going to waste it.

I walked out of my room holding the bracelet, looking for someone to help me. The device should have alerted the guards by now that it has been removed so they should be looking for me, but all was quiet in the hallway. Eventually I walked down the corridor hoping to bump into someone.

All the residents currently were probably sleeping or on duty, so I walked down the stairs made my way over to the main building. The wind was chilly and I shivered in my pyjamas and there was no one in the dimly lit corridors, but eventually I found myself at a reception desk near one of the wards. The on-duty nurse was busy filing and typing away at some documents in the computer as I silently crept up on her.

I hesitated for a fraction of a second to call out to her, but I tapped her on her shoulder. I saw the world flip. The nurse had jumped out of reflex and pulled me into over her shoulder onto the floor and placed me in a headlock, making me sort of regret scaring her but only because I was being choked out. Of course she let me go once she saw I was of no threat and as I turned around to face her, I saw the familiar face of the first nurse I saw when I woke up.

This time though I could read her name tag, it read Dr Iroha EID-Ds110R. She had an eyebrow raised as she looked at me, almost as if she was annoyed at having been disturbed so suddenly. She was still listening to music on her earphone in one ear, while the other was still dangling around her neck. 

The same song was playing.